Anything but Love cl-3

by Beth Ciotta

  “And then my parents—”

  “Your parents know?” She gave up on buttoning her top after buttoning it crooked twice. “How the … surely they didn’t guess.”

  “No, that was definitely because of a slip. All I can say is that it happened under extraordinary circumstances. We were still in the waiting room, tense about Dad, then we saw you on the TV and, hell, I don’t remember how it happened exactly.” He blew out a breath. “I’m sorry, Rae.”

  She lowered her head, took a moment, then met his gaze. “What did they say? What do they think?”

  At least she was still talking to him. Luke pushed up and leaned back against the pillows. “Mostly they wanted to know I’m doing right by the baby, followed by, are they going to get to know the baby? Essentially they wanted to know my, our, plans. I said we’re feeling our way through.”

  Sitting on her knees now, Rae nodded. “That’s a fair and accurate description.” She dragged her hands through her messy hair, messing it up more. “Your parents moved to Florida not long after I first moved to Sugar Creek. I know of them, but I don’t know them. And now they’re coming up for Rocky’s wedding. Should I be nervous?”

  “Not at all. My folks are great. Mostly. Dad can be a pain in the ass, but he won’t be with you.” Luke tucked her hair behind her ear. “Are you mad?”

  “I’m not mad.”

  “Seriously?”

  “You took me by surprise and I wish we could have discussed it first—the how, when, and who—but, honestly I had planned to broach the subject with you anyway. About letting people know. I’ve been feeling uncomfortable about keeping the baby a secret from the Cupcake Lovers, the people I betrayed before. I don’t want everyone always wondering what else I have up my sleeve.”

  “I get that.” Luke raised a brow. “So we’re going share the news with close friends and family?”

  “Just those here in Sugar Creek.”

  “Not your mom?”

  “Not yet. She’d taint it somehow. I’m sure of it.”

  Now she sounded angry.

  Luke waffled between pulling back and pushing. His curiosity got the best of him. “What is it with you two?”

  Rae reached for her pajama bottoms and pulled those on, too.

  Frisky mood shot, Luke thought. Got it.

  “I don’t know how to explain without sounding pathetic or weak or, I don’t know, like I’m playing the poor little rich girl card.”

  Luke felt her warring with her pride. He got that, too. “Just spit it out.”

  She sat on the edge of the mattress, spine rigid. “Olivia never wanted me.”

  She paused and caught Luke’s gaze. When he didn’t comment or judge, the floodgates opened.

  “I was a mistake. I cost her her precious figure. I cost her a movie role. I cost her the unadulterated, exclusive, and obsessive attention of her husband because he, unlike her, wanted and adored me. Or so my grandma, my dad’s mom, told me before she passed away. I don’t remember my dad. I wish I did. He died when I was two.”

  Luke listened as she described her life as the daughter of Olivia Deveraux. A woman who’d abandoned her daughter’s care to nannies, allowing her to concentrate on herself and husband number two. The woman who’d shipped her daughter off to school the moment she married husband number three. The woman who always chose the spotlight over school awards ceremonies or family vacations or even holidays with her only child.

  Luke pulled his best poker face because he knew Rae didn’t want his sympathy, but by God she had it. Given his upbringing—his loving parents and tight-knit family—Rae’s situation was beyond his imagining. And to think he’d mixed one of his best appletinis for her selfish witch of a mother.

  “No matter how many times she pushed me into the background,” Rae went on, “I held out hope that we’d bond someday. That she’d put me, our relationship, above her obsessive need to be the center of attention. All my efforts to establish a deeper relationship failed. It doesn’t help that she’s married to someone as egomaniacal as herself. It doesn’t help that she ignores his indiscretions. I thought it was a money thing. Olivia couldn’t afford the extravagant lifestyle she adores without Geoffrey’s money. Once I gained full access to my inheritance, I offered to support her in the means she was accustomed to if she left Geoffrey. I told her we could move anywhere. New York, maybe. Or London. It wasn’t the life I wanted for myself, but I saw it as her chance to break free from that bastard. I saw it as our chance to spend quality time together. To bond.”

  Rae shook her head, forecasting the outcome with a bitter laugh. “She pretended she knew nothing of Geoffrey’s wandering eye. Accused me of trying to break them up because I’m jealous of what they have.” Rae snorted. “What they have is a shallow, dysfunctional relationship. I can’t support it. Can’t be around it. Them. Him. Her.” She nailed Luke with dry, bright eyes. “I didn’t run away from my problems. I walked away from a life I don’t want. Not for me. Not for my child.”

  It was all Luke could do not to pull her into his arms. Yes, he wanted to comfort her, but right now, boosting her confidence seemed more important. “I don’t blame you.”

  “You don’t think I’m an awful person because I want to sever ties with my own mother?”

  “From what you’ve told me, Rae, Olivia doesn’t deserve the privilege of being part of your life.”

  “I’m not cutting her off completely,” she said. “Not financially. I mean if she’s ever desperate. If Geoffrey ever dumps her. I couldn’t let her flounder.”

  “Something tells me she’d get by. There’s always husband number five.”

  Rae’s lip twitched with the semblance of a smile. “She’s always admired Elizabeth Taylor. I thought it was for the icon’s talent and beauty. But maybe it’s more about her ability to collect husbands. I think Liz had seven or eight. Olivia has a way to go.”

  Feeling a break in the tension, Luke offered a gentle smile. “I know this thing with Olivia is a point of pride with you. I know you don’t like to talk about, but I’m glad you did.”

  Rae swallowed then reached for Luke’s hand. “Thank you for listening and understanding. I’m glad you pushed because, now that it’s out, now that you know, maybe I can truly put Olivia behind me.”

  “Unfortunately that media blitz Harper incited plays up the fact that you’re the daughter of a Hollywood celebrity,” Luke reminded her. “Olivia’s name and picture appeared in those gossip features almost as much as yours.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Rae sighed. “No doubt Olivia’s basking in the attention.”

  Luke raised a brow. “She was referred to as a “has-been” and there was mention of plastic surgery and botox.”

  “Doesn’t matter what they’re saying as long as they’re talking about her. That’s the way Olivia looks at it.”

  Luke shook his head. “God, I’m glad you’re here and not there.”

  Rae swallowed. “Me, too.”

  He sensed lingering anxiety, traced his memories for any holes in their discussion. “Anything else you want to tell me?”

  “No.”

  Brain still scrambling he flashed back on a discussion a few days prior. Something Rae had said and then tried to brush over.

  “The thing about being smart and influential is that there’s always someone smarter and more influential than you. And if that person wants to derail your life, well, then you’re sort of screwed.”

  Olivia didn’t strike him as smart and she probably wasn’t all that influential. No. That would be Geoffrey Stein. Of Stein & Beecham Industries.

  Luke shifted closer to Rae. “Does Geoffrey know you encouraged Olivia to leave him? Is he threatening you in some way?”

  She sidled to the edge of the bed, ready to flee, only Luke stayed her. She licked her lips, a nervous tell. “Geoffrey and I have been on bad terms for a couple of years now.”

  “Did you catch him with another woman?”

  “No.”

  “
Did you accuse him of having affairs? Of mistreating your mom?”

  “No.”

  “Was he trying to manipulate you somehow? Coerce you into allowing him to manage your inheritance?” Luke’s temper flared. Rae’s silence on the matter only made it worse. “Dammit, Rae. Is Geoffrey threatening you?”

  Her face was beet red now. “It doesn’t concern you, Luke.”

  “What?” The anger he’d been feeling toward Geoffrey took a sharp turn toward Rae. He struggled to keep his calm as she wiggled out of his grasp. “We’re a team now, Reagan. Every aspect of your life is of concern to me.”

  “That goes both ways.”

  Clueless, he spread his hands wide. “Am I stonewalling you on something?”

  “Yes. Yes, you are.” She shoved off the bed and scrambled back two steps, fists at her side. “Your dyslexia.”

  “I told you—”

  “You told me and then you shut me down. You said you didn’t want to talk about it. That you didn’t want my help.”

  “I said it would be hell on the ego and you’re changing the subject.”

  “No, I’m not. We’re talking about levels of comfort. You’d rather handle your visual challenges on your own and I feel the same way about Geoffrey.”

  “So there is a problem.”

  “Not as long as I don’t talk about it.” With that she fled to the bathroom and closed the door.

  Luke followed and knocked.

  In response she turned on the shower.

  It reminded him of their blowout in Bel Air. When she’d shut him out. When, in anger, he’d given up and left. Only this time he wasn’t going anywhere. He’d order up breakfast for them both and wait her out. He’d cool off and mull over the best way to handle this new kink in their relationship. He’d always considered himself an expert on women. Always knowing what to say, what to do, how to manipulate the situation. Rae stumped him at every turn.

  Maybe Sam was right, Luke thought as he pulled on his sweats then nabbed the menu. Maybe there was something to be said for patience.

  TWENTY-NINE

  Rae wasn’t sure how long she’d been in the shower. Hands braced on the tiles, chin dipped, she allowed the pulsating water to pound the back of her head and shoulders. A small fanciful part of her willed the water to wash away her problems. Another small part of her beckoned the pounding water to jog her good senses.

  Rationally she knew her judgment and emotions were all over the place. She knew for a fact she was a smart person. A grounded person. Yet lately she’d been making questionable choices and acting in irrational ways. Chances were most people didn’t notice. It’s not like she socialized all that much. But she noticed. And she was pretty sure Luke noticed.

  He’d mentioned hormones. She’d read something about that. No doubt a contributor, but not the sole cause. She couldn’t pinpoint her reasons for acting rashly or out of character. She didn’t like media attention and yet she’d fully planned to monopolize on her new inheritance and famous mother in order promote the Cupcake Lovers cause. She’d told herself and Luke that she could handle it and then she’d bobbled her composure when the news had actually hit the fan.

  She’d put the Cupcake Lovers at legal risk when she’d offered to back their publishing project without fully researching the matter first.

  She’d dealt a low blow to Luke by bringing his dyslexia into their argument, but she’d felt backed into a corner and she’d lashed out.

  For all her education, for all her confidence, Rae was intimidated by Geoffrey Stein. Olivia had been married to him for five years now. And although Rae hadn’t lived in their home all that much, she’d been there enough to overhear several snatches of Geoffrey’s business conversations, whether in person or over the phone. The man was ruthless. Ruthless and powerful.

  And he hated Rae for rebuffing him.

  She remembered the first time she caught him looking at her in an inappropriate way. And the second and the third. It made her uncomfortable. Then again, she’d caught him looking at other women as well, his appreciative gaze lingering a scant second too long. Since he was always highly attentive and even affectionate toward Olivia, Rae had chalked Geoffrey’s wandering eye up to annoying, but harmless.

  Lots of men ogled.

  Lots of men flirted.

  That didn’t mean they cheated.

  Since Rae so badly wanted to bond with her mother the few times she was home from college, she made a concerted effort to get along with Geoffrey. She’d considered their relationship platonic if not genuinely warm.

  But then he’d cornered her last year, on the Christmas just after her twenty-fourth birthday. That year, Rae had joined Olivia and Geoffrey for a string of holiday parties. Olivia had been drinking heavily and enjoying the attention of a Hollywood producer. Rae had been exhausted and uncomfortable and ready to call a cab. Only Geoffrey had offered to drive her back to the mansion, saying he’d return later for Olivia.

  Rae hadn’t realized how inebriated Geoffrey had been until he’d followed her up the stairs and pinned her against the hall wall, just shy of her bedroom. She’d been stunned when he’d pressed in and kissed her. She’d been horrified. She’d turned her head, broken the kiss. She’d told him to back off but he’d leaned in harder, accusing her of playing games.

  “You know you want this.”

  But she didn’t.

  Her stomach turned, remembering how she’d frozen when his hand slid up her thigh. But then her instincts had kicked in and she’d shoved and kneed him, escaping into her bedroom and locking the door. She’d broken out in a sweat, heart pounding in fear. Would he try to break in?

  He didn’t.

  But he did issue a threat through the door, his voice tight with anger and pain. He’d accused her of asking for it. He’d listed signs. He’d called her a prick-teaser and he’d promised if she breathed a word of this to Olivia or anyone else, he’d deny it. And if that didn’t work he’d say Rae started it and he’d ended it. That she was trying to make trouble because he’d scorned her.

  Rae had spent a sleepless night with those taunts ringing in her ears.

  “You asked for it.”

  She’d racked her brain, recalling the instances Geoffrey had mentioned. The signs. But she was certain in her heart of hearts that he’d misconstrued her intentions. She kept telling herself that he was drunk. Maybe he’d apologize in the morning.…

  But it had only gotten worse.

  A knock on the bathroom snapped Rae out of her tawdry reflections.

  “Everything okay?” Luke called.

  Rae turned off the shower, sluicing water from her face. “Be out in a minute.”

  Her fingers were pruney so Rae knew she’d lost track of time. She hadn’t expected Luke to hang around. She’d expected him to leave in a huff, to go home, or to the Shack. She’d expected him to call her later. Her stomach fluttered and cramped at the same time. Her temper had cooled, but had his?

  She combed her wet hair off her face, slathered on lotion, and pulled on the thick, complimentary robe provided by the hotel. She padded out of the bathroom in her bare feet, a lingering cloud of steam billowing behind her.

  “You were in there an awfully long time,” Luke said. “Must’ve felt good.” He gestured behind her. “Mind if I—”

  “Help yourself.”

  He nabbed his duffle then paused at her side, his free hand brushing hers. “Truce?”

  She nodded, relieved that he didn’t press more about Geoffrey. She was overwhelmed and desperately trying to sort out her feelings on several matters. Being at war with Luke wouldn’t help.

  “Breakfast on the table. Dig in.” He squeezed her fingers then moved toward the bathroom. “I won’t be long. When I get out, what do you say we go house hunting?”

  She looked over her shoulder at him. “Don’t you need to go to work?”

  “Not until tonight.”

  “I have a real estate booklet that I picked up down in the lobby,” s
he said. “I circled some contenders.”

  “Sounds good. I have a place in mind, too. Eat up and get dressed, Champ. Full day ahead.”

  He disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Rae alone and wondering. Champ? He’d never called her that before. An endearment of sorts and not one she’d ever heard him use on anyone else. Something unique to her. She smiled. The warm feeling blossomed as she followed her nose.

  Scrambled eggs, wheat toast, and a side of pancakes. OJ and milk. He’d remembered the things she’d like most from the other morning. She massaged an ache in her chest, touched by Luke’s thoughtfulness.

  He cared.

  Cared enough to remember what foods she liked. Cared enough to take off half a day to help her find a house. And because he cared, he’d pressed her about Geoffrey. Logically, she knew that and her mind whirled, unsure how to handle the subject if it came up again. Because Luke cared, if he learned Geoffrey had made a sexual advance, and then proceeded to use that against her.… If he knew how the man had continued to taunt Rae.… How he’d made her question her judgment.… How he’d tried to influence how she handled her inheritance.…

  Luke would intercede on her behalf.

  She couldn’t allow that.

  She couldn’t risk Geoffrey using his power and influence to push back and push back hard. Who knew how far he’d go? What if he somehow compromised Luke’s finances? His business? His reputation?

  Although she couldn’t prove it, Geoffrey had somehow cost Rae the two teaching positions she’d recently applied for within the Los Angeles school district.

  “Maybe you’d have better luck in another part of the country,” he’d taunted the last time Olivia had had Rae over for dinner, just days prior to Rae learning she was pregnant.

  Clearly Geoffrey wanted Rae out of their lives and the farther away the better. It was the first time she’d seen eye to eye with the man. Considering Olivia had no intention of leaving her husband and especially after Rae had learned she was pregnant, leaving California—for good—had been an easy decision. The way Rae saw it, as long as she didn’t rattle Geoffrey’s chains, she was free and clear to live the life of her choosing.