Control (Shift)

by Kim Curran

  Sir Richard Morgan. Our new boss and, as Aubrey liked to put it, asshat of the highest order. Sir Richard had taken over from his son as head of ARES after it became all to clear that Morgan Junior didn’t have a clue about what was really going on at the agency. Since starting, Sir Richard had been busy trying to make up for his son’s lack of control. Our first day back at work after Greyfield’s, he’d pulled us in to his office and screamed and shouted at us for a full hour. He’d known Aubrey had been there, because her name had been found on a scrap of paper recovered from the wreckage. And he had his suspicions about my involvement.

  “I hate to say this,” Aubrey said, checking her rear view mirror. “But I almost miss Dick.”

  “Yeah, I guess,” I said, remembering when Richard Morgan Junior had been in charge. Morgan was a jumped-up prat, but he’d been a harmless jumped-up prat. And at least, as a Shifter himself, he’d had a vague idea of what we were up against. Something Sir Richard had clearly forgotten long ago.

  The lights of the oncoming traffic streaked across the damp windowpane leaving glowing trails. I turned away and tried to hide my yawn.

  “Tired?” Aubrey asked.

  “I guess. It’s been a pretty full-on day.”

  Aubrey glanced towards me and then back at the road. There was no point in trying to hide anything from her. She could see through me better than anyone else. “You still having the nightmares?” she said.

  Ever since that night, I’d not slept well. Images of that night kept haunting me. Sergeant Cain, my old instructor, lying in a pool of blood. Abbott’s face contorted in pain. Benjo Greene, the grossly fat cannibal, crunching through metal tools, blood pouring from between his sharp teeth. Worst of all were the things I’d seen when I was hooked up to Abbott’s simulator. The things I’d done.

  “They weren’t real, you know?” Aubrey said, taking her hand off the wheel and laying it on my knee. “The simulator.”

  Like I said, she could see straight through me. I’d told her all about what Abbott had done to me and what I’d done while hooked up to his machine. The simulators had been designed for training Shifters: a tool to help them experience different choices and see how the consequences could possibly play out, without actually affecting reality. Only Abbott’s version had been different. His simulator made you experience your very worst choices. But they were still your choices. Even though I was now in a reality where none of those terrible things had happened, I had done them. Given the right circumstances, some potential version of me was capable of doing it all again, inflicting all that pain. I shuddered, despite the heating being on max.

  Aubrey had told me time and time again that I hadn’t done those things. That they weren’t real. And I tried to believe her.

  But I hadn’t told her everything. Maybe now was the time I did.

  “There’s something I haven’t told you… about that night,” I said, picking at a loose thread on my cuff.

  “What?” she said.

  This would be the third time I’d told her the truth. The truth about what had really happened at Greyfield’s and how we’d escaped. The last two times, she’d looked at me with so much fear I’d chickened out and Shifted my decision to tell her. As I tried to force the words out of my mouth, I wondered if this time would be any different.

  “That night, I did something…”

  “Scott, how many times do I have to tell you?” she said.

  “No, not the simulators,” I said hurriedly, worried that if she interrupted I’d never get it out. “Something else.”

  “Scott, you’re scaring me,” she said.

  “I’m scaring myself,” I said.

  She glanced over at me. My expression must have really worried her because she steered the van across the lanes of traffic and pulled up in the lay-by. A truck speeding past made the van shake almost as much as I was.

  “Scott, you can tell me. You can tell me anything,” she said, taking my quaking hand in hers.

  “I don’t know if you’ll believe me. I don’t know if I believe it myself.”

  She just nodded encouragingly.

  “That night, when I died on the table, when I begged Benjo to kill me to stop the images...”

  Aubrey closed her eyes in anger and muttered Benjo’s name.

  “After I came back…”

  “After the hypnic jerk brought you back?” she said.

  The hypnic jerk. The Shifter’s ultimate defence mechanism. For normal people it was a weird jolt experienced when falling asleep: the brain’s way of making sure the body was still alive. Only with Shifters it kicked in when we really were in trouble. A desperate Shifting of all choices to avoid dying.

  “Yeah, well, I didn’t overpower Abbott. I just told him to take my place.”

  “What do you mean?” she said, her eyes tightening.

  “I just told him. And he obeyed. Benjo too, I told him to eat start eating all his blades and he did. Just crunched them down like they were popcorn.”

  She slipped her hand away from mine, the fear appearing in her eyes. “What are you saying, Scott?”

  “I’m saying I could force them to do what I want. And not just them. Everyone. All the guards, they just lay down when I told them too.”

  “But… But that’s not possible,” Aubrey said.

  This was going exactly as it had the last two times. She was freaked out by me, and why not. I was a freak.

  “And changing reality is?” I said, with a sigh.

  “That’s different.”

  “Is it? That’s what Shifting is about, isn’t it? Being able to make the reality you want. Well, I wanted Abbott and Benjo dead. So that’s what happened. And I wanted you…”

  “Me? Are you saying you forced me as well? Scott, look at me.”

  I couldn’t bear to. Couldn’t bear to see the terror in her eyes as she wondered exactly what I’d been wondering for the last six months. Was Aubrey really with me because she’d made the choice? Or because I had?

  I forced myself to meet her gaze. “I don’t know.”

  She leaned back and took a deep breath. Then something changed. The fear left her eyes, leaving only a light, like sunshine catching on a wave. “Scott, I don’t know what happened for sure. But I know one thing. You’re not making me do anything I don’t want to do.”

  “But how can you be sure?”

  In answer, she leant forward and kissed me. Harder, more desperate than earlier. I pulled her closer, pouring all of my own fear and doubt into that kiss. It was the realest thing I’d ever felt.

  When we finally broke free, Aubrey cupped my face in her hands. “Doubt anything, Scott. But don’t doubt this,” she said. “Don’t doubt me.”

  I nodded and wiped a tear away from my cheek, hoping she hadn’t seen it. Maybe I wouldn’t need to Shift this time. Maybe she could finally accept me and what I’d done. But I kept the decision to tell her clear in my mind, just in case.

  She settled back into the driver’s seat and started up the engine again. “We’ll talk more about this when we get back to HQ. It’s a few hours yet,” Aubrey said. “Why don’t you try and get some sleep?”

  “OK,” I said, coughing to clear my throat. “But wake me if you want me to take over. Or if we crash.”

  I pulled off my jacket, glad to be free of it, crumpled it up into a ball and put it between my head and the window. The gentle vibrations of the van shook through my cheek, making me feel as if I was wearing a pair of the cuffs. There was something soothing about it and before I knew it, I’d fallen asleep.

  We pulled up at around the back of ARES HQ just as the sun was rising, turning the white building the colour of sand.

  “Oh, no,” Aubrey said, when she saw who was waiting at the back doors.

  Lottie and Lane, our two least favourite Regulators, met us with matching scowls. They were stood, arms folded, in front of five NSOs. Non-Shifting Officers.

  Apparently, the MOD had decided the security of ARES could not be
left in the hands of a bunch of kids. So a team of ex-military specialists had been brought in to keep us in check. I’m not sure even Sir Richard, with all his rules and bluster, was happy about them stalking the halls. The Regulators had been most offended though; keeping non-Shifters in check was supposed to be their role. And at least they understood what it was like to have been Shifters once. The majority of them refused to work with the NSOs. But not Lottie and Lane. They’d taken to the NSOs like a starving man to steak. They loved having their orders backed up by men with guns.

  Lottie was tall and broad with dark, greasy hair that she kept tied back in a tight bun. Lane was smaller, with mousy brown hair in a short bob. And yet I still managed to get the two of them mixed up. Lane had been a Fixer, like me, and had spent the last year in Africa working on some project over there. Lottie never made it above Second Class and had a chip on her shoulder the size of Cleopatra’s needle. They’d both lost their Shifting powers recently, entropy catching up with them within a few weeks of each other and they were still pissed off about it. I guess I didn’t blame them.

  I often wondered how I would deal when entropy came for me. It couldn’t be long before I lost my powers, a couple of years, maybe three, or four if I was really lucky. Sometimes, I looked forward to it. Being rid of the constant buzz in my head and having to worry about every single choice. Other times, I knew that once the power was gone, I’d be a nobody again. A nobody with absolutely no skills to get by in the real world. Joining The Regulators was the only thing I’d be cut out for. Just like Lottie and Lane.

  “Howdy, girls,” Aubrey said, jumping down from the driver’s seat. “Got another one for you.”

  “State your name, rank and purpose here,” Lottie shouted.

  “Come off it, Lottie,” I said. “It’s us.”

  “Name. Rank. Purpose,” Lane, repeated as a couple of NSOs raised their guns and pointed them at us.

  I looked at the guns and blinked. If we really wanted to get past, there was nothing they could do about it, they had to know that. A gun up against a Shifter was pointless. But I was too tired for a fight.

  “Tyler. Fixer, Third Class. Transporting a prisoner.”

  I looked at Aubrey, hoping she’d just follow my example and we could get this all over and done with. She was staring at Lottie.

  “Jones. Spotter, Third Class.” She put an unnecessary emphasis on her rank, just to get at Lottie, I was sure. “And my purpose is to do my actual job, so if you would get out of my face...”

  Aubrey’s head only came up to Lottie’s shoulder. The two of them stared at each other, waiting to see which one would back down first. It was Lottie.

  She sniffed and stepped out of Aubrey’s way. “Bring him in then,” she said, affecting nonchalance.

  But I could tell by the way she kept clenching and unclenching her hand the confrontation had unnerved her. Maybe it was the knowledge that without her power to Shift she’d have had no chance against Aubrey. Or that even when she was at the height of her powers she still wouldn’t have had a chance. Not many people could beat Aubrey, Shifter or non-Shifter.

  The NSOs lowered their guns and went back to radiating menace.

  I slid the door of the van open and the smell of urine burnt my nose. Lottie and Lane recoiled in disgust. “Yeah, sorry about that,” I said. “The cuffs have that effect, you know?”

  The girls clicked their fingers in unison and two of the NSOs stepped forward to pull the dozy Glenn out of the van.

  “Be careful,” I said. “He’s tricky.”

  Lottie and Lane looked at Glenn’s drooling expression and laughed.

  “Yeah, Tyler. He looks like a real hellraiser,” Lottie said.

  “Laugh it up guys,” I said. “Just don’t take the cuffs off till we’ve had a chance to question him.”

  Lane tilted her chin at me. “We’ll be doing the questioning, Tyler. But maybe we’ll let you have a word. When we’re done.”

  She spun around and followed Lottie and the NSOs back inside. I rolled my eyes.

  “I swear, Scott,” Aubrey said, coming to stand by my side. “I’m quitting.”

  I felt the warmth of her next to me and wanted to reach out and hold her. But I resisted. There were rules about ARES members fraternising. Sure, there was little they could do to stop a bunch of hormone-crazed teenagers hooking up, but they could stop us working together as partners. And neither of us wanted that. So we kept our relationship secret. Kept it ours.

  There was something thrilling in that. In the secret smiles, the stolen kisses. Sometimes, I worried if that’s what Aubrey liked most about it. That it was a sort of “screw you ARES”. I also worried it was because she was embarrassed to be seen with me. I’d look at her and then look at me and wonder how the hell I ever got so lucky.

  I reached for her hand and caught her little finger in mine. It was enough, that tiny physical connection that said I’m here, I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere. It was like an anchor in a storm.

  She stroked the back of my hand with her thumb and it sent little shivers up my arm.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  NSOs guarded the doors to the cafeteria, checking the ID of everyone going in and out. Kids, who used to charge around this place, their trainers squeaking on the marble floors, now walked quietly in single file. The cadets no longer wore T-shirts with “Fresh Meat” on the back as they had when I was training. Instead, they were in full, official uniform and looked as unhappy about it as I was.

  As Aubrey and I walked in, showing our ID to the grim-faced NSO, we saw CP, my old classmate, being shooed off to her class by one of the new teachers. Lessons started at 6.30am sharp, now. I would never have made it out of basic training had that been the case a year ago.

  CP waved in our direction, then quickly slapped her hand back down to her side when she saw the teacher looking over. I waved a weak greeting in return, not raising my hand higher than my hip as I didn’t want to get her in trouble.

  CP and I had been cadets together when I’d joined ARES. She was a tiny thing, who spent most of her time peering out at the world from behind a too-long fringe. But I knew that she was not a kid to be messed with. Like Aubrey, she too had been kidnapped by Abbott and would have ended up as a vegetable if Sergeant Cain and I hadn’t turned up. Now, I felt responsible for her. There was no one else at ARES to look out for her – not that she couldn’t take care of herself. But I worried. If one of the teachers saw her waving at me, it might mean detention or worse. It was bad enough I’d got Jake, another of my ex-classmates, in so much trouble he’d been put in solitary for a week. His sister, Rosalie, had pulled him out of the agency after and I’d not had a chance to see him since. I don’t know who missed him more, me or CP.

  CP and the rest of her class disappeared out of the room, the slam of the door behind them ringing in the now empty hall.

  Aubrey grabbed two cokes from the surly dinner lady and threw me one. I fumbled the catch, but managed to pin it against my chest. It opened with a loud hiss and sprayed cola fizz all over Aubrey.

  She gasped, and wiped her face, flicking the liquid off her hand. I tried not to laugh. I tried really hard. But when a drip fell off her nose I lost it.

  In revenge, Aubrey shook up her can, and opened it right into my face. I squealed, actually squealed, and ran away as the spray exploded over my back. Aubrey raced after me, laughing hard, and soon we were chasing each other between the long tables of the cafeteria. I caught up with her, grabbed her in a bear hug, pinning her arms to her side, and lifted her off her feet so her face was level with mine. She licked a droplet of coke off her lip. I held her there, our faces moving closer, millimetre by millimetre.

  “What is going on here?” a voice boomed, the last syllable echoing around the hall.

  I dropped Aubrey to the floor so quickly she nearly fell over. Sir Richard stood in the doorway, moustache twitching, his already red cheeks even redder. Lottie and Lane stood behind him, grinning.

&n
bsp; “We were… We were…” I babbled.

  “We were nothing,” Aubrey finished, giving me a shove that hurt my ego more than anything else. “Sir,” she added, seeing Sir Richard’s expression darken.

  “We cannot have this sort of… horseplay going on around here. What if I’d been the Prime Minister?”

  “But the Prime Minister isn’t coming till tomorrow, sir,” I said, straightening my uniform.

  “And a good thing too.” He let out a snort of impatient breath that made his nostrils flare. “Well then. Don’t you have a job to be doing?”

  “We’ve already finished interviewing Glenn and he’s in the cells,” Lane said, stepping forward. “If Tyler and Jones aren’t too busy doing… nothing.” She gave us a dirty look.

  “Well, get to it then,” Sir Richard said, spinning on his heel.

  We waited till the sounds of his heavy feet faded away. Then walked out of the hall.

  “I’m serious, Scott–”

  “I know,” I said, interrupting Aubrey. “You’re quitting.”

  Aubrey and I took the lifts all the way down to the basement level – to the cells. This is where they kept Shifters who’d broken the rules while waiting for processing. It was also where they locked up serious offenders until entropy kicked in. I’d never been down here before. And as soon as I stepped out, I knew I never wanted to again. The corridor ahead smelt of bleach but not enough to cover up the stink of stale urine.

  “Name, rank and purpose!”

  I sighed as I saw two NSOs standing guard.

  “Scott Tyler, Third Class and…”

  “You again,” one of the NSOs said, looking at Aubrey. “Back to see Black?”

  I looked at Aubrey, wondering what he meant. Then remembered who else was down here. None other than Isaac Black. Ex-leader of the Shifter Liberation Front and my nemesis.

  Zac had trained with Aubrey and had been one of ARES’ finest Mappers – Shifters who are able to plot out events and their consequences. But he came to believe the agency was lying to us all and had gone rogue, plotting to bring the whole organisation down. He’d been caught a few weeks ago by the Regulators and given a choice. Go legit or end up here. He’d chosen the cell.