Far From Heaven

by Cherrie Lynn

Whoa, girl. Her previous relationship wasn’t even cold in the grave, and five seconds ago she’d been preparing for fight-or-flight. What was she thinking?

  You’re thinking about taking a total stranger home and screwing his brains out. You’re thinking about revenge, about showing David that someone else can want you. Besides, would this guy really have bothered to catch you if he wanted to hurt you?

  Well…no. Just no. She wasn’t that girl. She’d never had a one-night stand in her life. Sex had always been within the confines of a meaningful relationship.

  Uh-huh. And how’s that working out for you?

  Not a damn bit. It was a sad truth. Her relationships, much like her life, had been one disaster after another—so could she say any of them had been meaningful? How would it even be possible to screw up her love life any more than it was already?

  But she wasn’t in the headspace to invite a total stranger back to her place, no matter how hot he was. Delia and her other friends could do things like that, but Maddie knew herself. She had a bad habit of falling for the wrong guys, and sex only exacerbated things. It was one more reason David’s dumping her hurt so much—he’d probably been the most stable, dependable boyfriend she’d ever had. She’d forced herself to take things slowly and let their relationship progress with as few games as possible, not wanting to sabotage a good thing. Now he thought she was nuts, and he’d never loved her. So even that hadn’t worked.

  Nothing worked.

  Frustration burned hot and bright in her chest, and she stared at her rescuer. If nothing she’d ever done worked, then maybe the one thing she hadn’t tried…well, it would at least be a hell of a lot of fun.

  “Maddie?”

  She cringed at the unwelcome voice. David. Wonderful. Frowning at the intrusion, she straightened the shoulder of her dress and shot a glare at her newest ex. “What?”

  His gaze raked her over, taking in her broken shoe, her destroyed makeup and drenched hair. “Are you all right?”

  Damn, that was the most often asked question of their relationship, and she hadn’t even realized it until that moment. She’d heard it when she woke up screaming at night. When she saw weird things out of the corner of her eye or in the mirror. When utterly unexplainable crap happened to her, like tonight. A large chunk of their time together had been about him seeing to her well-being—and lecturing her—but now he had seen everything the job entailed and he didn’t want it full time. She couldn’t blame him, but she wanted to. For a moment, she felt a pang of sympathy for him. The pain of her predicament quickly gnawed it away.

  “You know what, David? I’m not all right. You’re so big on me not denying my problems, so there you go. I’m really not all right at the moment. Does that make you feel better? Am I making strides?”

  “You know what, Madeleine? To hell with you.”

  Maybe she deserved that, but the anger in his tone left her stricken nonetheless. And mortified, too, but her new friend didn’t look very interested in the squabble. He only looked interested in her. In her reaction. Or she was completely misreading things and he wanted to bolt. That was always a possibility. But whatever intrigue he’d piqued in her was doused as if by a splash of cold water, replaced with the slow boil of outrage toward David.

  “Please leave,” she said quietly.

  He didn’t reply, just hitched up his jacket and cast an odd look at the dark man who hadn’t seemed to take his eyes off Maddie since the interruption. For a moment, she thought David was going to say something to him—warn him off the crazy lady, maybe?—but he didn’t. He only walked away.

  “Well,” she said after David’s footsteps faded. It had been disconcerting to meet the guy’s gaze before, but now it seemed downright impossible given the embarrassment of the situation. “You just witnessed one of the low points of my existence, and I don’t even know your name.”

  “Call me Ash.” The voice was still quiet, controlled. Yet somehow very confident.

  Ash. Oh, wow. She liked it. A lot. She imagined saying it in the throes of ecstasy and her heart fluttered like a bird desperate to flee its cage. Could she really do this?

  “I’m Madeleine. Maddie. Or I guess you could call me Mad. Damned mad. Whichever you prefer.” She shook her head at the idiocy of the joke, but what could she do? Her brain was misfiring.

  He chuckled. “Well, Madeleine. I hope your evening improves.”

  It could. You could help. Unfortunately, his words had sounded like the beginning of a farewell. What had she expected? She’d known from the moment the thought first entered her head that it was impossible. There was absolutely no reason for disappointment to crush her.

  Night terrors and one-night stands did not mix.

  She bit her lip as tears threatened again, but she managed to push them back where they belonged. David was right, and she knew it. This was becoming incapacitating. It was interfering with her life. She needed help. Maybe she needed a padded room after all.

  “I’m sure it will,” she said, ignoring the tremor in her words and hoping he would too. “Thanks again for helping me. Good night.”

  He gave only a slight nod, and she walked away. Now that he was out of her sight, she could…breathe again. In fact, she hadn’t realized just how weird he’d made her feel until she was away from him. The hairs at her nape settled. Her lungs filled with rush after rush of oxygen, expanding as if they’d been collapsed or in a vise grip for the past few minutes. Finally her mind began to clear somewhat. All that was left in it was despair, a sprawling wasteland of it.

  Her yellow Jeep came into view, and she climbed in and sat. Laid her head back, let a few more tears squeeze their way out from between her closed eyelids.

  She and David had been together for several months, not long in the grand scheme of things, but for some reason this felt like being back at square one. Which made no sense. She’d been alone far longer than she’d been with him; she was used to being alone. It was what she was good at. Her mom had bounced from one rehab to another, one county jail to another, until an overdose finally did her in when Maddie was ten. Maddie had been shuffled among aunts and uncles and grandparents from the time she was a baby, never really connecting with any of them. Never really wanting to.

  It was almost as if she didn’t belong here. She didn’t know where she belonged. Or who she belonged to.

  At the last thought, she lifted her head and stared at the blank concrete wall beyond the Jeep’s front end, feeling the prickle at the back of her neck again. It wasn’t the first time she’d felt as if someone, something, had a hold on her. Something had to be responsible for all the weirdness in her life.

  Or maybe it was just wishful thinking. Because if something was responsible, there was always the possibility it could be dealt with. Banished. And then everything would be okay.

  Maybe she needed a freaking exorcism. David had laughingly said it one night, but now she wondered if he’d been serious. That was probably what they would do to her if this were a horror movie.

  Nah, David only believed in what he could see. He saw her slowly losing her mind, that was all.

  Sighing, she put her head back again. She didn’t want to go home. She couldn’t face it. Maybe Delia was home from work by now, if she hadn’t hit a bar or club on the way. But she didn’t want to burden her best friend with her screaming night terrors, either.

  The stranger she’d just met…his face floated through her mind. Maybe being alone tonight would be far worse than any embarrassment she might feel if she freaked out in front of someone. A little panicked by the realization, she snatched her cell phone from her purse and dialed Delia, only to get her voicemail. So much for that. Delia was cute and single and enjoyed an impressive sex life that left Maddie amazed and not a little envious. If Delia were here now, she would tell her to run back out there, tackle Mystery Man, and take him home for a therapeutic sex marathon. She probably would have suggested doing this in front of David, if at all possible. But then, her friend didn
’t take anything seriously. Maddie didn’t talk to her very often about her real issues.

  Damn. That was it, then. Delia was probably shaking her ass on the dance floor and the mystery man was most likely long gone by now—as if she’d ever have the courage to go look for him to proposition him. Especially since she’d begun second-guessing the signals she’d been reading from him. Sighing, she put the key in the ignition, turned it, and…nothing. The silence of the engine almost seemed to mock her.

  “You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

  Chapter Four

  He was out of his damned mind. It was the only explanation for why she still drew breath. At any moment, he could have reaped what was his, and yet something in her pleading blue eyes had stopped him cold in his tracks.

  She was miserable…well, yes, that was mostly his own doing, and no doubt simply side effects of his claim on her soul. He’d sensed it the moment he touched her, felt every iota of her torment swirl right through him. Glimpsed the pain her former lover had just caused. For that alone, he’d wanted to rip that one’s soul out. Unfortunately, the man wasn’t tainted enough, or the temptation might have been too much to bear.

  He’d remained homed in on her, fascinated with the play of emotions across her face, across her thoughts. They were clearer with physical contact, but even from a distance, he’d been able to catch traces of her anger and frustration.

  Well, he’d done his job, hadn’t he? She’d been sent back to earth time and again for her strength, her goodness and her compassion. He’d broken her down, taken all of that away from her from the time she was an infant. Now she was desperate. She was weak and afraid. He should have been rejoicing over his success, laughing about stealing away and corrupting one of Heaven’s favorites. He might even climb the ranks over this one.

  If he’d get off his ass and take her, already.

  Funny how he was contemplating greatness while he felt like some randy incubus whenever she looked at him with those eyes that were seeking answers for her predicament from somewhere, anywhere. Little did she know she’d found the only being who could give them to her.

  He watched from the shadows of the cavernous structure where her vehicle was parked. As she’d slid inside the car, her dress had slithered up one pale thigh, leaving almost her entire leg bared down to the dainty unshod foot. His mouth had watered. His cock had pulsed. It was doing so now, a pleasurable ache that was directly responsible for the idiotic decision to disable her car’s engine with a quick blast of his dark magic. To keep her here, to probe her mind and heart some more. To test the silvery threads of desire he’d felt within her roiling emotions, to touch her again.

  She’d been so soft, and it wasn’t often he felt that particular tactile pleasure. His world was hard and black and scorched, the most forsaken, desolate wasteland anyone could envision. It was home, but a few more brushes of that cool, silken skin and he might grow attached to the topside world. It was a risk he was willing to take.

  He approached the side of her boxy yellow car and peered inside. She’d crossed her arms over the steering wheel and was draped over them, her shoulders shuddering. Sobbing. Her hair cascaded over her back and arms, a heavy curtain of silk.

  She might tell him to leave her at this point. He might only frighten her. Nonetheless, he lifted one hand and tapped on the window.

  Her head jerked up and her eyes met his, widening slightly as their gazes connected through the glass. She made a quick effort to duck and swipe at her cheeks before popping open the car door. “Um, hi.” Her voice was raw and husky with tears. Despite her efforts, dampness clung to her cheeks, and a stray hair caught in the moisture. He longed to brush it away.

  “Are you having some trouble?”

  Her laugh was without humor…it was actually one of the most despairing sounds he’d ever heard, and that was saying a lot. “If you only knew what a loaded question that was.”

  Oh, he did know. “I can help. Maddie.”

  She softened at his adding her name to the offer. He saw it. Her eyes closed briefly, then she shook her head. “No. You can’t. No one can. It’s not just that my car won’t start, it’s…it’s everything.” Her lips twisted in bitterness. “Every fucking thing.”

  “He doesn’t deserve you.” But aren’t you one to talk?

  She made a breathless sound as her gaze darted up to his again, those luscious pink lips parting with surprise. “You don’t know anything about me. How can you say that?”

  Deciding to risk shattering the fragility of the moment, he lifted his fingers to gently grasp her chin. “I don’t have to know you. I have eyes.” And he let those eyes wander down to where the bodice of her dress cradled her full breasts, to where the skirt dipped between her thighs. Beautiful. Her figure was lush, curvaceous, just beckoning his hands to chart the dips and swells. His thumb stroked her cheek, where the skin looked like porcelain but felt like satin. It couldn’t be his imagination that she was leaning into his touch.

  He would have her throughout eternity. But she wouldn’t be as she was now, alive and still vibrant despite all he’d taken from her. He wanted a taste of her now, the sweetness of her flesh, the salt of her tears. He wanted to breathe deep the musky fragrance blooming even now from her sex.

  Her lips were trembling. “I…do I know you somehow? Have we met before?”

  Interesting. She never would have seen him, but she most likely would have sensed him near her. She might recognize his presence, know by instinct that he was familiar to her. He allowed a reassuring smile. “Maybe we knew each other in another life.”

  She wet her lips, staring at his own now. “This is so not me.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I don’t know you.”

  “I thought we just established that you did, somehow.”

  That gained him a tiny smile. “You know what I mean.”

  “I think I do. You don’t know me, and yet…” His finger slid down the curve of her neck, over the persistent throb of her pulse. Delicate muscles tensed beneath his touch. He could now read every turbulent emotion as clearly as if it were his own. What would that feel like if he were buried to the hilt inside her? To feel those emotions crest as she came apart around him? “You want to. You can’t explain why. You wonder if it’s such a bad thing that you want to let go just once in your life.”

  His finger reached the neckline of her dress. Her eyes closed, her breath held, as she fell under a spell he wasn’t even bothering to weave…at least not by any magical means. She sat very still, captive by his intuitive words alone. “And it’s all right. I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t matter, not for you. Nothing matters. There’s no one to impress anymore, no one to judge you.”

  “What if I judge myself?”

  “Guilt is so useless.”

  “I think you might be a very bad influence.”

  Ash traced his finger just inside the edge of her dress. “I think you should let me be. Take me home with you.”

  Maddie’s eyes opened and she drew a deep breath. She gave a meaningful nod toward the front end of her vehicle. “I hope your ride is nearby.”

  For a moment he held her gaze, drinking in the molten blue of her eyes. A pretty blush spread up her cheeks, and she made no move to push his hand away. He made no move to test her further. He knew he’d won.

  Giving her a crooked grin, he leaned into her car, reached across the steering column and turned the key. The engine purred to life. Maddie gasped.

  “What the…? A few minutes ago it was totally dead. How did you do that?”

  He stood straight and shrugged with feigned aw-shucks innocence. “I guess I have the magic touch.”

  She gripped the wheel so tight her knuckles ached, but in the face of the throb in other parts of Maddie’s body, her knuckles were the least of her worries.

  More than once, she’d asked herself what she was doing. The answer had never really come. Her mind was a humming blank, her body one big raw ne
rve. From the moment he’d touched her and she went up in flames, there’d simply been no turning back. Crazy? Yes, clearly she’d gone crazy. That was established. She might as well revel in it.

  I guess I have the magic touch.

  She knew from the pure male cockiness in that comment he hadn’t been talking about touching cars. Oh God. She might just be crazy and in for the night of her life. The trail of fire he’d left on her skin with just his fingertip still burned. Her entire body thrummed. By the time they reached her apartment, she’d be wound so tight she’d fly apart the moment he put a hand on her.

  Well, those magical hands were now resting casually on his jean-clad thighs in her passenger seat. He was quiet, and occasionally she glanced over to watch the passing streetlights intermittently bathe his features with their dingy glow. Every time she looked away from him, she almost convinced herself he wasn’t that good-looking. Only to glance over and feel that sweet shock to her senses yet again. His was a face she could spend hours looking at, exploring with her fingertips, memorizing.

  Ordinarily silence felt awkward to her, especially when she was one-on-one with someone she’d just met. She always felt compelled to fill it with something. Anything. Not so now. This silence didn’t feel awkward—it felt like the calm before a storm, the tense moments spent knowing that something was out there, something huge. Dangerous and intense and raging. But she wasn’t afraid, not in the sense that she feared for her safety. She was ready to get tossed on those waves.

  “Here we are,” she said, hitting the blinker as her heart lodged at the base of her throat. She’d meant for the statement to come out bright, cheerful. It came out like she’d just reached the location of her impending execution.

  Maybe it was that, in a sense. She’d left her apartment knowing herself, but it was like she was coming home not only with a stranger, but a stranger herself. The old Maddie, dead and gone. As she turned off the rain-slick street into the parking lot, the dark bulk of her building looked somehow sinister, foreign. Her heart kicked its way out of her throat and began rattling like mad in her chest.