Fate Uncertain

by Kim Cleary

  "We'll find our way from here." The oldest woman took my hand and kissed it gently.

  Though tempted to jump backward and race to the army base to find Glynn, I knew I couldn’t. No, I needed to do this job properly. "I'll take you to a statue I know. I can point you in the right direction."

  My first time in the Shadow Glades, I bumbled my way to the spot. Not anymore. I took the children's hands and led them dancing through the moss and stones to the weeping angel I knew to be a landmark. From there, a narrow path led us to a finely carved statue of a seated man, who thrust a long narrow sword into the realm at his feet. And from there, the path wound its way to the almost hidden doorway into the Realm of the Dead.

  This time I let them walk away from me. The Shadow Glades didn’t frighten me anymore. I drew peace from the silvery light as I gathered my breath. A short respite in a quiet world where I didn't fear the military, and fear for Glynn. But I couldn't wait for long, too much to do on the other side of the veil.

  Retracing my steps alone, the gray moors stretched around me in every direction. The ley line bubbled and swirled like a natural spring gurgling under the rocks. Half of me wanted to stay and trace its path, dip my toes in the refreshing water. Another time perhaps, when other concerns didn’t press upon me. I paced back to the weeping angel and focused on finding my way back to Echo Den. I heard rather than saw the bustle of activity in the cavern and followed the sound until I became aware of the wooden seat under my bum.

  "Are you even human?" Del blew out a long rattling sigh. "Are you one of us? You disappeared. Do you know that?"

  I gripped my hands around the seat, took a deep breath and opened my eyes.

  Del lifted her hands to her head and cradled her face. "You were sitting here, then you disappeared, as if you turned into particles and a giant vacuum cleaner sucked you into nothingness."

  "That's not what it's like. It’s more like drawing back a flimsy curtain."

  "A curtain?" Del's eyes widened. "Is that all that separates us from Hell or whatever it is?"

  "No, it's all that separates the Shadow Glades from our world for me, but I'm not exactly normal in that regard."

  Del puffed out a low breath.

  "Yes, I'm human, just like you. I'm a necromancer, but that doesn't make me unnatural. Just unusual."

  Del’s brows drew together, her face tightened. "I'm not surprised you don't understand about Aidan. You have no idea what it's like to be... normal."

  "Exactly. I know what it's like to be different, to tiptoe around people. Trying to be invisible because you know you don't fit and you don't know how to make it right."

  "Aidan's never felt like that, he knows he is loved. He's my son."

  "I'm sure it's because he feels loved, that he feels safe enough to go with Owen now, and come back and see you at any time later."

  Del shuddered. "He's not hanging out with dead people!"

  "He wants to study. What other opportunities are there for him to learn like he can here? They aren't so different, just like us but undead."

  Ed appeared at Del's elbow and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She slumped against his chest and he gently kissed the top of her head. "We're going, and you're coming with me."

  "We can't leave without Aidan." Del clenched her hands into fists.

  "I've given him my word I'll talk to you." Ed stroked her hair.

  "No." She pulled away from him. "He's coming home."

  "He introduced me to his teachers. They are good people."

  "They are bloody dead people."

  "Let's agree to let him stay for three months. See how things pan out."

  "No." Del's face reddened, she pointed at me. "It's her doing."

  "No." I stuttered. "This is what Aidan wants—"

  "Aidan is determined." Ed pulled Del back to him. "This is what he wants. I've never seen him so happy. He's convinced me this is what he really wants to do. I think we should support him."

  "He's my baby boy." Del twisted her hand in her husband’s shirt.

  "I'll make sure we keep an eye on him." Ed kissed the top of her head again.

  Del mumbled into his chest. She seemed to be reluctantly agreeing. She pointed at me. "What about her?"

  It wasn't up to me to divulge the plans. "I've got a couple of things to tidy up." I hated this ill will between Del and myself. I stretched out my hand to take hers. She snatched hers away.

  Ed shook his head as if recommending a slower approach from me.

  "Please check on Glynn as soon as you get back. Colonel Asher—"

  "Don't worry. We will look after Glynn," Del said coldly. "He is one of us."

  Ed stroked Del's hair. "I'll talk with him, and Asher."

  He nudged Del away. Somewhere he and the other soldiers, with Del, minus Simon would be guided back to a point from where they could get back to the army base. Grabbing onto the hard chair, I tried to pull myself together.

  Liliwen touched my shoulder. "Are you recovered?"

  The Shadow Glades still hung in the air around me. Del questioned my humanity, and it felt like a deserved accusation. I'd lost my newest friend as quickly as I’d gained her.

  "As recovered as I'm going to get anytime soon." I still hadn't worked out how to persuade Glynn to negotiate a peace pact with Owen, how to stop Asher. Liliwen couldn't help me with any of it. But I still wanted to talk with Owen. "Is Owen resting?"

  "He's sitting down. Not exactly resting, but it's probably the closest he's going to get until we settle at a new location."

  "I'd like to see him before I go."

  "He wants to see you, too. I'll take you."

  Liliwen floated away. I stood slowly and gripped the table as dizziness and nausea almost overtook me. Liliwen waited until it passed, and I slowly nodded that I was ready to move.

  Head bandaged, Owen sat at a metal desk giving instructions on how to take apart some equipment they wanted to take with them. Aidan stacked parts into crates, and carefully placed plants into boxes. He was engrossed in his work and didn't notice me watching him.

  Owen waved me closer. "Is everything ready for you to leave?"

  "As ready as it can be. I'll go with the people who want to die, plus Bill. I hope he makes it back to you safely."

  "He's an old soldier. He does what needs to be done. Thank you, I hope he makes it back as well."

  "What else do you need from me?"

  Owen stood and kissed my cheek. "Nothing. But thank you for asking, and thank you for taking my people into the Shadow Glades.

  "Some of the corpses and spirits are barely holding on." I glanced at my hands. Even if I had the time, I didn’t know how to help them. "How do you know if the ley line in the new town will be enough to sustain them? What will happen to them if they can't hold on during the journey?"

  "We will find out shortly." Owen took my hand in his. "There is a place for you there if you would like to join us."

  Midnight moths fluttered in my abdomen. Of all the things Owen could have said, that's not what I expected. We hadn’t trusted one another at first. Now, I admitted to myself, something drew me to this man and his followers. I’d like to visit them. Later, once they were safe and after I’d made things right with Glynn. But I already missed Ravenswood. Missed its comfort and support. Away from home, I hungered for the solace she fed my soul.

  Laughing, he sat back at the desk. "I assume from your incredulous stare and silence, the answer is no."

  "I have responsibilities, and people I care about." I sat on the corner of the desk. "I'd like to visit though."

  His mouth lifted in a smile. He shook my hand. "Deal."

  I’d been desperate to tell him off for not telling me how he knew Glynn, but after healing his skull and helping his spirits into the Shadow Glades, the anger disappeared. It didn’t seem as important any more.

  Curiosity remained. "You didn't tell me you knew Glynn."

  He stared into space, dropped his hands to his lap. "We were frie
nds once. His girlfriend's death changed him. Changed both of us. It's not easy to talk about."

  Glynn didn't discuss his past much either. A friendship once broken could be hard to mend. But it was possible, if they both wanted to mend the bridge. A flutter stirred in my belly. Somehow, I'd bring them together and help them repair the bond. Maybe they could learn to trust one another again.

  The others weren’t ready yet. Perhaps he’d answer a few questions to satisfy my curiosity. "Were you always in the army as a healing mage?"

  He crossed his legs, made a long hmmmm noise from the back of his throat. "I joined the military as an engineer straight from university. Left to teach as an associate professor. I learnt my skills as a healer by accident." He shrugged and lifted his palms.

  "So, you rejoined the army as a healer?"

  "You do ask a lot of questions. Asher came to the university I taught at, desperate for help. His wife and daughter were both dying from a viral infection that had the army doctors beat."

  "You knew Asher too?" I shook my head. Hard to imagine Asher as a husband or father.

  Owen shrugged again. "I couldn’t help his wife. But the little girl I saved. He invited me to rejoin shortly after. It was too much responsibility. All the supplies the army relied on were impossible to get hold of, even then."

  Liliwen floated beside us. "Bill and the others are ready."

  I planted a kiss on Owen's cheek and stood. "Thank you. Good Luck."

  He grabbed my hand again. "I didn't thank you for healing my skull."

  "It was worth it to see your head wrapped like a turbaned magician of old."

  "I’m happy to be of service, even if it’s providing a laugh." He grimaced.

  "Don’t forget to visit." His words held sincerity.

  Now was the perfect time to suggest visiting with Glynn in tow, but the words stayed unspoken. I didn’t want to risk Owen’s refusal if this morning’s raid reopened old wounds. Instead I nodded. Hopefully Owen would attribute my breathlessness to nerves about visiting the army base to find Glynn.

  Haebeth only knew. I had enough to be nervous about.

  Chapter 20

  I followed Bill back to the track where Del and I arrived. The cart that held us and our bicycles a few hours ago was now empty. This side of the cavern was quiet. All the packing activity was happening on the other side.

  "Del and Ed took both bicycles with them," Bill said with a slight accent. A gentle cadence that seemed at odds with his stiff back and rigid expression.

  I nodded. We wouldn’t need them.

  Bill looked about the same age as Owen, his hair cropped close to his head, his clothes clean and mended. Bill and I would be walking once we left the rail tracks, as he'd agreed to lead me to the army base. Dangerous for both of us, probably more so for Bill if we were caught. The plan was for Bill to get clean away, and for me to find Glynn without Asher finding me.

  Simon and the others joined us. The decayed man who’d attacked me wasn’t among them.

  Bill offered me his hand. "Let me help you climb in when you are ready."

  "I can walk—I'm fine."

  "It will be easier for the others if they don't have to worry about barging into you and knocking you down."

  I hadn't thought about that. I took Bill's hand and clambered into the cart.

  "Derek, you should also rest. It's a steep climb."

  The stench of decay mingled with sweat and dirt. Gaping holes and fetid sores decorated one man's face. An arm hung like a torn shirtsleeve on another man. Bill helped the man called Derek into the seat next to me. Derek nodded politely and carefully pulled his feet close to his body, so they didn’t touch mine. I couldn't see anything obviously wrong with him.

  "Can I ask, why do you want to die?"

  "You know I'm already dead."

  I didn’t want a repeat of the conversation with Simon, so I tried a different approach. "Of course. And you know what I mean."

  He lifted his shirt, circled his hand around his abdomen. Or at least, the place his abdomen would be if he had one. A gash across his belly had spread apart and his bowel come away leaving a bloody hole. I glanced away. "Is it painful?"

  "Not in the same way as before. But nothing feels right either."

  "I don't understand." I splayed out my hands. I should understand it, this was my job. The deep ache of frustration settled in my jaw. "Why are some of you are in good health, while others suffer?"

  "I don't know anyone who does understand. We all died in different conditions. We arrived at Echo Den at different times and in various ways. I died a few decades ago, shortly after the last languid circuit of the illness. I died at home, alone. The last of my family. My body wasted away before I became a walker. That may be why it is this way with me."

  "How did you find Echo Den?" What a sad end. My words caught in my throat.

  "I followed the ley line until I found the tunnels leading to the cross point."

  "How did you know about the ley lines? How did you know where to find them?"

  "I didn't. I'd been walking for days when I stumbled upon an old Roman road. Something drew me along. I've never believed in anything. Never felt anything like it. I tried to ignore it. I did wander a bit across the Moors, but the road kept pulling me back, and in the end..." He shrugged. "I followed it until it crossed the railway track, and then I followed the track."

  The cart crunched to a stop. We'd arrived at Westmead Station, the place Del and I first met with Liliwen. Derek tucked his shirt back into his pants and climbed out of the cart. He held out his hand to help me climb out. It would have been churlish of me not to take it. His hand was warm and creepy, like a very old man's might be. I wanted to ask him more, but Bill nudged me to the edge of the track.

  "Let me talk with these guys for a moment," Bill said.

  "Good luck." The two words sounded quite inadequate, but what else was there to say?

  Daylight filtered into the tunnel and cast gray shadows onto the platform. I moved to the bottom of the steps to give Bill and the guys some privacy. Owen said Bill was a soldier. Hopefully he was familiar with the army base and could sneak us in without Asher or any guards seeing us. Maybe Glynn had an office I could look for. Maybe he'd be back at Del's place, or in a post raid debrief with Asher or his squad. Or getting ready to lead another raid in the hope of finding Echo Den. Or locked in Captain Wilson’s hot dark prison. Or. Or. No point in worrying about what I couldn't control.

  Wherever Glynn was, I’d find him.

  Bill marched across a platform like a man on a mission. "Ready?"

  He didn't wait for an answer. He climbed the steps two at a time until he reached ground level. I got to the top out of breath and hugging my arm to my chest, but Bill moved quickly across the plaza to the street. Keeping close to the walls like him, I followed down the main road until we came to a narrow, shaded laneway between tall buildings. Leaves and rubbish swirled in a sudden eddy of wind. Bill crouched behind a large unused and rusted garbage container and signaled for me to join him. I scurried to his side and squatted behind his back.

  "What is it?" I whispered.

  "Probably nothing," he whispered back. "I've never seen a patrol here. But they'll send another one this morning, nothing surer. And neither of us wants to get caught, do we?"

  The end of the laneway was in clear sight. We moved from container to container, each time hunkering down and listening.

  At the sound of heavy footfalls, Bill pulled me into a recessed doorway and pressed his fingertip against his lips. A patrol, eight people in all, marched past the laneway. I craned my neck to see around Bill's shoulders. No sign of Glynn. A silent sigh escaped my mouth. I didn't want Glynn to be gone when I got to the base. Asher made it clear I wasn't among his favorite people.

  Simon was right about a new patrol setting out so quickly. I said a silent prayer that the end for Simon and Derek and the others would come quickly.

  With the sound of marching boots retreati
ng, Bill motioned for me to move from the doorway to another garbage container. We made it to the end of the laneway without incident. Bill grabbed my elbow and guided me to an old shop around the corner. Dirty torn mattresses and filthy blankets were piled up in one corner. We crunched over broken glass littering the floor. Shop shelves and counters were pushed against one wall. It obviously hadn't been used as a shop for a very long time. We hid inside the shop until Bill signaled that he felt it safe to move on.

  "There won't be another patrol so soon will there?"

  "Probably not, but we are too close to the base to take unnecessary risks."

  "You don't want to die?"

  Bill’s eyes widened. He stared into my face for a few seconds and I half expected him to answer the same as Derek's, 'you know I'm already dead, right?'.

  "I didn't want to die the first time around. I'm not aiming to die again any time soon." Bill shrugged. "If it happens it happens."

  "But you died? Something killed you, yet you are unharmed now?"

  "None of us understand why some end up healthy like me, and others like Derek."

  "It's troubling me. I feel like I should know."

  "You aren't the only one. I guess that's why they try to catch us alive. They want to understand as well. I'm going to try and snoop around the base, which has a large hospital complex. I want to get in."

  "Owen wants you to go back. He needs you."

  "We need answers. Come on, it'll be safer if we get there before the sun rises."

  I loped after Bill with my head bursting with questions, my heart full of conflicting emotion. What would happen when I found Glynn? I was desperate to see him, but we’d ended up on opposite sides somehow.

  Suddenly Bill grabbed my elbow again and signed for me to duck behind a row of bushes. "It's hard to see the track. Just follow me and try not to scratch that pretty face."

  The bushes were almost too thick to pass through, and dense enough to keep out the dawn light. Bill dropped to his hands and knees to push his way underneath the thick branches. I copied him and followed close behind until we reached a solid brick wall.