True-Blue Cowboy Christmas

by Nicole Helm

  “That’s it?”

  “Did you want more?”

  “To trust her to be around my daughter? Yeah, I want a lot more.”

  “Well, she’d be able to tell you more about her experience than I would. I only know she takes care of the Shaw house without ever complaining, even though Dad and Caleb are obnoxious people to live with. She’s a great cook. Tidy. She’ll do what’s asked of her, and I can’t imagine her being anything but adoring to your little girl.”

  “How do you know all that?”

  The baby began to fuss in earnest, and Mel glanced at the clock. “I don’t know what you want from me, Thack. She’s a good kid. If you’re looking for an endorsement, I’m giving it.”

  “No offense, but you defended Caleb for a lot of years. Why should I trust you?”

  Everything about Mel’s exhausted posture straightened. “Oh, because he’s running Shaw—”

  “Into the ground.”

  “Not anymore. Look, you don’t want to trust me? Don’t. It doesn’t matter to me. You came here to ask me my thoughts. There they are. You want to worry about someone, why don’t you worry about keeping your daughter under control so she’s not showing up at Summer’s place?”

  Thack glanced at the bundle in Mel’s arms. Tiny and vulnerable, but the thing about babies was that you could keep them in their cribs. You could hold them and keep them completely safe.

  Then they grew up, and you didn’t have any control anymore. Safety was an illusion, and there were threats around every dang corner. “Thanks for your time,” he muttered, all at once needing to get out of there.

  He turned on a heel and left the old Paulle place, now some kind of weird llama ranch. Why was he asking Mel’s opinion? She’d left Shaw and married some ex-hockey player who raised llamas. Llamas.

  Summer was her sister. What had he been thinking? That he’d get a legitimate reason to tell Dad no? Or worse, a legitimate reason not to worry about Summer coming into their lives?

  He climbed into his truck, determined to drive home. He was responsible for Kate’s happiness, and Dad was just going to have to live with that. And so was Summer. So why he slowed down in front of Pioneer Spirit, why he parked in the lot in the back, why he walked toward the entrance he’d never quite understand.

  Thack took a deep breath. Even with the chorus of What are you doing? running through his head, he couldn’t turn away. He had to open this door, because the questions would eat at him until he found an answer.

  He stepped into the dark of the bar. He’d been twenty-one when Kate was born, so he’d never spent much time in the place. Back when they were an on-again, off-again thing, Michaela had snuck in, under age, with all her ne’er-do-well friends.

  Any time he’d tried to join that group, something bad had happened at the ranch. They’d lost two cows to an ice storm, or Dad had accidentally started a fire in his old woodshed.

  Thack had finally gotten the picture. He was not one of those people who could get away with bending or breaking the rules.

  So, he’d broken up with Michaela, determined to save her the trouble of being with some stick-in-the-mud who couldn’t step a toe out of line.

  A few weeks later, she’d told him she was pregnant. They’d married quickly and quietly, and not too many months after that, they’d found the cancer that she would refuse treatment for until Kate’s chance of survival was better than her own. All during that hard, lonely time, not a single one of those ne’er-do-well friends had stopped in to wish them well.

  They’d been too busy living their lives fast and loose here, night after night. He wasn’t sure he had it in him to forgive that.

  So, whether it was fair or not, places like this seemed a symbol of all he’d never have, and all that had been taken away. People like Rose Rogers, who had enjoyed Michaela at her fun-loving best, just reminded him of everything he’d lost.

  He forced himself to take steps toward the mostly empty bar and the woman working behind it. A woman he had no interest in talking to at all.

  Her eyes met his, and if she was surprised, she didn’t show it. But then, Rose Rogers wouldn’t show much of anything if it didn’t suit her. “Howdy, sailor.”

  Rose acting like she didn’t know him was weird, but just about as weird as seeing anyone who’d been close to Michaela before. Six years didn’t make it less weird.

  “That any way to greet an old friend?” The last word may have held a touch too much bitterness.

  Rose’s gaze sharpened. “Prefer Mr. Lane? Or Thackery? As I recall, we were never much in the way of friends.”

  No. He’d only ever joined that group to moon over Michaela. He rubbed at the ache in the chest, wishing he’d never had a reason to face pieces of his past. But he was here, so…

  “My father wants to hire Summer Shaw a few days a week to do some work for him. What do you know about her?”

  Rose’s eyebrows rose. “Summer?”

  “Yeah, she said she works here.”

  Rose studied him for a long minute. “Summer sings here on the days I can pay her to do it. She is…surprising.”

  “Like felon surprising? Like can’t control herself around alcohol or drugs or…” He wasn’t sure why he couldn’t say men. He needed to be certain Summer was the kind of woman she seemed. Why would he trip over any insinuation?

  He didn’t want to think about it.

  “Summer is surprising because she looks like this little ball of sunshine. She sings like an angel. And yet, when someone’s an ass, she doesn’t dissolve into a mess of tears. She doesn’t get offended. She manages to put the drunk asshole in his place, all with a smile. The girl is magic, and I wouldn’t expect it of someone so annoyingly cheerful.”

  Thack frowned. He wasn’t sure that told him what he needed to know. But it was interesting.

  “What exactly do you want to know?”

  “That I can trust her around…” He stumbled because Rose had been Michaela’s friend. But he didn’t know if she knew Kate’s name, or… He didn’t know.

  He hated this. Why had he come here?

  “How’s…” Rose looked away, brushing a hand over her long fringe of bangs.

  He had to clear his throat because they’d traveled into territory he’d become an expert at avoiding. “She’s…a great little girl,” he managed lamely.

  Rose nodded. “Well, anyway, Summer’s a good egg. Never had a bad word for her, never heard a bad word about her. I can’t tell you what to do about…kid stuff, but I’d trust her with my bar. I trust her with my cash register, and that puts her on a very, very short list of people. As a businesswoman, I can’t say a bad thing about her. As a person? I’d just as soon laser off all my tattoos as party with her.”

  A weird ringing endorsement, but an endorsement nonetheless. What excuse did he have now?

  “So, want a drink? On the house.”

  An olive branch of sorts. “Thank you. Really. But I have to get back.”

  “Right. Hardworking Mr. Lane.”

  Thack managed his best approximation of a smile. “That’s me.” Had to be. He walked toward the door, but Rose cleared her throat.

  “Listen, uh…” She fiddled with a row of glasses. “She was lucky to have you.”

  He had to rub that ache in his chest again. Amazing that an emotional pain could hurt so damn physically. “You sure about that?”

  Rose’s dark eyes met his, and she gave him a nod. “Yeah. Definitely. And think of that kid—she got the best of both worlds, right?”

  The best of both worlds. Thack tried to absorb that friendly offer, although it landed like a blow. He hadn’t been giving Kate any of Michaela lately. Not her joy or her fun. He’d been so wrapped up in his promise to Michaela, keeping Kate safe, that he’d forgotten all about giving her fun and laughter.

  He tipped his hat a
t Rose and then escaped the dimly lit bar. The late-afternoon sunlight was jarring after the dark of Pioneer Spirit, and the brisk winter air was quite a contrast to the hot burn of grief in his chest.

  He hadn’t found what he’d been looking for. He’d hoped to hear a clear-cut reason to get this odd woman out of his life, not reminders of Michaela and his past. Not a painful memory of what he’d been forgetting.

  But he couldn’t get over the feeling that Summer was… Trouble wasn’t the right word. But he wasn’t sure what was. Cheerful, colorful, loved-by-everyone Summer Shaw was something like a threat.

  He got into his truck and laughed. Everyone thought this girl was unthreatening. Everyone spoke the world of her. Everyone was willing to trust her and bring her into their homes, their businesses. And he thought she was a threat.

  Maybe he was the problem. Wouldn’t that be…well, fitting.

  Chapter 7

  Summer returned to her caravan after an afternoon of working with Caleb and Delia at Shaw.

  Eventually she’d left them to sort out Delia’s…concerns. While she was happy—happy for them and happy, period—something about seeing both Mel and Caleb happily married, settled, and stumbling toward families of their own left her with an odd sense of longing.

  Summer didn’t know what to do about that, any more than she knew what to do about the dot of red sitting next to the caravan on her yoga platform.

  Oh, Kate.

  She didn’t want to be in the middle of this. This…whatever it was with the Lanes. She’d pressed this morning, but secrets and lies ran through Shaw and her place there. Why would she want to enter another house just like it?

  But when Kate saw her, her whole face lighting up as she jumped off the platform like Summer was the answer to all her problems, that little niggling emptiness disappeared. It was replaced by something Summer wasn’t sure she understood, or would ever be able to.

  She remembered what it had been like to squeeze Delia’s hand and give her advice and make a difference, and she so wanted to do the same for this little girl.

  Maybe secrets and hidden selves were just a part of life.

  “If you’re down here without permission again, I have a feeling you’re in for a pretty serious punishment.”

  Kate’s smile didn’t fade, but something in her expression changed.

  “Kate, you can’t keep doing this.” She walked to the girl, trying to find the right words. “It isn’t because I don’t like you, I hope you know. But your father is concerned about—”

  “Daddy is concerned about everything.”

  “I suppose he has his reasons.” Summer thought about reaching out and touching the girl’s flyaway hair, but…well, boundaries. There had to be some boundaries. As much as she thought this girl’s father was far too controlling for anyone’s good, she couldn’t help but wonder if it was a different kind of controlling than her mother’s.

  Mom had made a good show of making everything about Summer’s future, or their hopes and dreams, but it had become abundantly clear in those last weeks that her mother’s behavior had been a lie. Mom didn’t care at all. Not about Summer. Not her well-being, not her hopes or dreams, not about much of anything except what Summer could do for her. And if Summer wouldn’t do that, the consequences would be dire.

  While Summer sometimes wondered whether she had the ability to discern honest feeling from manipulation, she had learned to trust her gut. As much as Thack Lane irritated her, her gut feeling was that his controlling came from caring.

  “I just wanted to make sure you were going to come back to the ranch. Grandpa said you were, and Daddy said you weren’t. I want you to come back.”

  Oh, this little girl. Summer had once been this little girl, desperate for someone to open up her life. For a few years, she’d latched on to anyone Mom brought wherever they were, hoping that person would be the key to making things different.

  They never were, and then Summer had gotten old enough to be of interest to those strangers, and everything had changed. Mom had started to use that interest, and that’s when Summer had run.

  “We’re caught a little bit between a rock and hard place, Kate.” Instead of touching the girl, Summer held out a hand. An invitation. She had come to greatly appreciate the freedom of an invitation.

  Kate happily took it. Summer couldn’t possibly fight the wave of protectiveness that swept over her. Even if Thack did care, even if Kate’s grandfather did care, they weren’t enough for this little girl with stars in her eyes and glitter snow in her imagination.

  Summer gave her hand a little squeeze. “How about this? I promise to keep trying to convince your father that I’m safe for you to be around. But you need to promise me you won’t disobey him.” Summer couldn’t quite settle into that black-and-white ultimatum. “Unless it’s absolutely gravely important.”

  Kate hopped. “I so super promise.”

  Summer nodded. “All right. Then we need to get you back home.”

  “But—”

  “No buts. No arguing. We have to work together, and we have to play by the rules. The rules are very, very important. They can keep you safe.”

  Again Summer chafed at the black and white of that statement, but she began pulling Kate toward the Lane property. “And if you ever feel like a rule is wrong…” Summer searched for the right words for a seven-year-old. “There are ways to…” This was so not her place, but she couldn’t step out of the situation anyway. She just couldn’t. “You don’t just disobey them. You try to change them.” And if you can’t—you run far, far, far away.

  But that was an answer for another day.

  Kate kept squeezing Summer’s hand as they walked toward the trees. She gave a test swing and grinned when Summer went along with it, their joined arms swinging cheerfully.

  “Do you know how to ride a horse?” Kate asked.

  “I’ve been learning. They still make me a little nervous.”

  Kate wrinkled her nose. “Why? Horses are great. Daddy still won’t let me ride without a helmet or without him right next to me.” She sighed gustily. “I can’t do anything by myself.”

  Summer felt bad for asking, considering she knew what it was like to grow up without a parent, and how the question rarely had an easy, happy answer. At the same time, though, she thought she should know, if for no other reason than to better understand what was going on.

  “Kate…” She took a deep breath, trying to walk the line between being helpful and…whatever it was that meant keeping her nose out of another family’s private matters. “Is it just your dad and your grandpa at your house?”

  “Yeah. We have ranch hands for part of the year, but I’m supposed to stay away from them, too.”

  “And your…mother?” Summer closed her eyes. She didn’t want to see Kate’s face as she answered that question. She wouldn’t be able to handle it if she caused the girl grief or sadness or—

  “She’s gone.”

  Summer blew out a breath, finally looking at Kate’s face. Her answer hadn’t told Summer anything useful, and her expression wasn’t all that haunted or hurt. How was Kate’s mother gone? Had she left, like Summer’s own mother had left this place? Or had something terrible happened that was the cause of Thack’s overprotectiveness?

  But then wouldn’t Kate’s grandfather be overprotective too?

  Torn between pressing further and leaving it be, Summer hiked her long skirt up to her knees to prepare for climbing the fence. “Gone… How—”

  “Katherine.”

  They both came up short as the low, male voice seemed to boom out of nowhere, but while Summer had to swallow down a screech, Kate just sighed.

  “Uh-oh,” she muttered under her breath before mustering a smile for her father. “Hi, Daddy.”

  Thack stood on the other side of the fence and held out a hand, but it wa
sn’t much like the invitation Summer had offered Kate. No, this was more of a demand. You will take my hand now. For a second Summer thought Kate wouldn’t release her. Summer was completely frozen both by the initial shock, and the area between a rock and a hard place Kate kept thrusting her into. But after a few seconds of Summer’s inner panicking, Kate released Summer’s hand and took her father’s.

  She stepped with him to the fence, and he helped her over it. Summer watched them, openmouthed, trying to force some words out, but she didn’t know what to say. Not even a little.

  How much had he seen or heard? What was he thinking?

  He glanced back at her, and something about his dark green gaze made her heart hammer against her chest. It felt like fear and not like fear, both wrapped up in one weird, heart-pounding moment.

  “Follow us,” he ordered, and whether because of the look on her face or common sense, he offered a halfhearted “please” afterward.

  “Follow…you.”

  He gave a curt nod, and this time when he held out a hand, it was for her. Like he was going to help her over the fence.

  Oh.

  Well.

  She wanted to refuse. After all, she could get over the fence without any help, and she wasn’t all that sure she wanted to obey his order. But Kate was watching her expectantly. So.

  With a completely fake smile, Summer took his offered hand. It was big and callused, roughened by work. Hers felt small and soft compared to his, despite all of the damage they’d taken over the years. Playing the guitar tended to do a number on her fingers, and learning how to ride had beaten up her once soft, delicate hands.

  But compared to Thack’s? No contest.

  She had to use her free hand to pull the edge of her long skirt more firmly around herself. She stepped onto the bottom rung and swung her leg over, Thack’s free hand resting on her waist for balance. But the shirt under her cardigan didn’t go all the way down to the waistband of her skirt, and with her arms elevated, the bottom of her coat had hitched up to belly-button level.