The Keys to Jericho

by Ren Alexander

  Stepping closer to her, I say, “Kat, you know I’m not using you. I was telling you the truth.” I glance around us to the three shocked faces looking on, and I grit my teeth as I cringe.

  Kat says, “Your friends are my friends, too. And if it’s not dirty talk, you don’t want to hear what I have to say.”

  “That’s not true.”

  She steps back, waving her hand to the three, and says to me, “Okay. Then, ask me, Jared. In front of everyone here, ask me to be your girlfriend. Tell them you’re not using me. That you only want me and no one else.”

  Peering to them, I lower my voice and say to Kat, “I do want you.”

  She suddenly looks confused, tapping her chin. “You on top, or me? Or is that not what you meant?”

  My hands go into my hair, anxiously fluffing, as I plead with her. “Goddamn it, stop!”

  Shaking her head, she laughs, but it’s an eerie laugh. “You’re right. Again. You want me. It’s just the everyone else you can’t give up.”

  “I don’t want anyone else, Kat! I never have! Just you!” Fuck. I didn’t want to admit that much in front of a live audience.

  Dash utters, “Holy shit, Jericho.”

  Glancing at Dash because of his remark, he gives Rio a panicked look, but before I can demand to know what that’s about, Liberty shrilly asks, “So, you’re agreeing to be Kat’s boyfriend?”

  Whipping my head to glare at her, I impatiently inhale. “Are you serious? I will not be fucking railroaded into that, especially right now and by you!”

  Rio gets up and stands next to his nanny. “Jare.”

  Widening her eyes, Liberty snaps, “Are you serious? You’re still refusing?”

  Rio says, “Lib. That’s enough. They need to talk.”

  Kat turns her head to face her. “Liberty, what I said to you today is now null and void. I’m over it.” Looking up, she glowers at me. “God knows it’s impossible for Jared to commit to anything, other than to being an asshole.”

  Heaving my arms out, I yell, “You aren’t giving me a fucking chance to say anything!”

  “You’ve had plenty of chances, and it’s always something you don’t mean to say! What’s the sense in that shit?” I can’t believe she actually said that.

  I darkly laugh. “Commit to anything? I’ve been helping you to get your damn license! Don’t fucking tell me I don’t do shit for you because I’ll make damn sure you’ll get that fucker!” Kat looks away from me as I glare at her, impatiently waiting for her to refute that.

  Rio says, “Okay. Why don’t you both take a break? Cool off before you sit down, in private, and talk.”

  “Nope. I don’t need a break, but I do want to go elsewhere.”

  Kat laughs, but nobody else does. “To your bed?” She shakes her head. “You just had me there. Maybe the laundry room?”

  “Damn it! Can’t you fucking be a reasonable adult about this?” Hearing Liberty’s shrieking gasp, I roll my eyes.

  Out of nowhere, Kat shoves my shoulder, taking me by surprise, and I stumble backward. “Jesus Christ, Kat!”

  Her eyes are more volatile than before. “As long as you can be a selfish prick, I guess I can be an immature brat!”

  She steps back, and I go to grab her wrist so she won’t leave, but Rio jumps between us, putting his hand on my chest, saying to Kat and me, “Enough! This is over!”

  Kat peers past him to me. “Yes. Our extended one-night stand is over.”

  Liberty says, “Oh, fuck.”

  I shout around Rio, “It’s not what we had!” How could she still think that after what I told her?

  Dash dourly mumbles, “Jesus.”

  Glancing at Dash and then back to me, Kat jaggedly sighs. “I can’t do it anymore. I thought I could, but my heart won’t stay out of the way, which is something that you won’t give, and if I want to be an adult about this,” I look away from her, shaking my head at the wall, while clenching my teeth, “then, I’ll accept the reality and move on.”

  Shakily inhaling, she turns and swiftly walks to the staircase. I take steps to go after her, but Rio grabs onto my arm, holding me back. “Jare, leave her alone.”

  I growl at him, “No.”

  “Yes.” He narrows his eyes and nods, and I know he’s right. For the time being.

  Liberty asks, “How could you do that to her? Again?”

  Turning my ire to her, I snap, “You’ve been friends with her for five damn minutes. Why is it suddenly your business to be all up in hers?”

  “Because I really like Kat. I even had her drive my car earlier.”

  Even more pissed off, I bark, “What the fuck did you do that for? I’m helping her!”

  “Jared, watch it!” I scowl at Rio, and he gives me one of his that is accompanied by a silent warning.

  Liberty says, “What? Kat did great!”

  “She’s too nervous to drive on the road, and especially with someone she’s not used to!”

  She states matter-of-factly, “She wasn’t too nervous. I took her on quieter streets and she handled them with ease. Maybe it’s you who makes her nervous.”

  “Fucking hell! I’m teaching her how to drive!” Rio clears his throat and I roll my eyes, but try to be calmer.

  Folding her arms, she says, “I want to help her, too. Kat is very lonely. She doesn’t have many close friends.” She sighs and regards me even more scornfully. “And it looks like she just lost one.”

  Determined, I say, “No. We’re still friends. I’ll talk to her.”

  “Just friends? Are you kidding? You don’t even realize that earlier you basically admitted to being in—”

  “Lib!”

  I humorlessly laugh, throwing my hands out. “In what? The most fucked-up house on the beach? Got that memo.”

  She impatiently sighs at Duquesne. “Really? We have to tip-toe around it?”

  Glaring at me, and until now, unusually quiet, Dash replies for Rio, “For now.” He then looks at Liberty. “We don’t have enough alcohol in the house. Besides that, Rio is a degree or two shy of being a shrink, and we’d need one for that catastrofuck.”

  Rio says to them, “It’ll be dealt with soon. Just not here. Though, it’s better if it’s self-realization, and not force-fed.”

  I suspiciously look at the three. “What the fuck are you all talking about?”

  Liberty shakes her head, glancing at me and then saying to them, “Wow. That’s a shitload of denial.”

  “I’m not denying shit!”

  Dash laughs. “No, kidding, Liberty Bell.”

  Not caring about their continued rambling, I look to the staircase. “I’m going up there.”

  Getting up from the couch, Dash snaps, “No, you’re not.”

  Liberty pats Rio’s arm. “I’ll go.”

  As she leaves, Dash stands next to me with an accusatory frown. “You threw that box of condoms into my room.”

  Rio asks, “What condoms?”

  “Calder thought it’d be funny to give me a massive box as a gift, signing your name, too. So, no thanks, Duquesne.”

  He rubs his forehead and sighs. “Oh, Douche. You’re so peculiar.”

  I say to Dash, “I should’ve been more grateful, loading them up and then tossing them onto your bed.”

  “Gross.” He clears his throat and says, “Speaking of that, I don’t want details, but I’m going to tell you this, if you got her pregnant this weekend, you’d better not ditch her.” Fuck. I warned Finn about doing that to Hadley. How in the hell is it coming back to me now? Unbelievable.

  I snarl, “Fuck you, Dash.”

  Rio says, “Oh, no, Jare. I’ll back him up on this.”

  I glower at him, crossing my arms. “Well then, fuck you, too, Duquesne. Like I’d ever do that to her.”

  Dash argues, “Well, look what you just did to Merrick!”

  Peering over to the stairs, I mumble, “We were careful.” I scrape my hand through my hair, look to both of them, and yell, “This was not
my fault! Dash, you asked me if Kat and I were having sex, and then Liberty egged me on!”

  “Jare! You’re not blaming anyone else for this! It was all you! You’re the one who joked about it. Take responsibility for your own actions and quit blaming other people!”

  Sighing, I move to go upstairs, but Dash promptly cuts me off, blocking me. “I’m going to have to talk to her eventually, Calder, so move.” He’s stupid if he thinks he can actually stop me.

  “Not tonight you’re not.”

  “I want her to know I didn’t…” Shit.

  “Do it tomorrow before we leave. Housekeeping won’t be up here until tomorrow afternoon, before my dad gets here, so we don’t have to leave super early.”

  “Jare. He’s right. Tomorrow.”

  I look at both of them, hating the way they’re looking at me, silently judging me. I roll my eyes. “Fine. I’m getting a shower and going to bed.”

  Dash finally steps out of my way and I go upstairs, but he watches me from the bottom, making me roll my eyes, yet again.

  Furtively looking down the hall as I go to my room, I notice Rio’s bedroom door is open, but I don’t see Liberty skulking around, so I know she’s still with Kat. Bitch.

  I take a quick shower and go to bed, but I don’t sleep. I can’t. Every noise I hear in the hallway makes me look to the door to see if Kat is sneaking in; however, she doesn’t. Sadness settles into me, seeping in everywhere.

  I can’t let it go on like this.

  When the house is finally quiet, I peer at the clock on my nightstand, reading 2:33. Getting out of bed, I go down the hall to Kat’s room. Slowly turning the doorknob, I’m not surprised to find it stiff. I reach up to the top of the doorjamb, feeling around for the wiry key that I know is there. Working the lock, I wince when the door lightly creaks as I push it open. Returning the key, I check the dim hallway to make sure I wasn’t being watched, before going into her room.

  Carefully shutting the door, I quietly make my way over to her bed. The light from a nearby streetlamp illuminates the floor enough that I don’t have to feel my way.

  Gingerly getting into bed with her, I cautiously inch closer and lie next to her, staring at the back of her striped hair, listening to her breathing.

  After a minute, she asks, “What are you doing here, Jared?”

  I slightly jump. “Have you been awake?”

  “I knew you’d be here. I guess if you can build a skyscraper, you can open a locked door.”

  I hesitantly mumble, “I couldn’t sleep.”

  Kat softly sighs, but doesn’t say more. I try not to touch her, but it’s hard not to.

  I ruefully state, “I can’t say anything that will make this better. You’re right. I’ve been a total asshole this weekend.” She doesn’t reply, but she isn’t yelling at me, either, which is a positive sign. “I didn’t intend to humiliate you.”

  She quietly answers, “I was a meaningless fling for you.”

  Propping my head onto my upright hand, I argue, “No, you weren’t. That’s the truth. Sex brought us closer.”

  “Physically, but I feel further away from you now.”

  Still only seeing her back, I sigh. “Kat, roll over so I’m not talking to the back of your head.”

  “No. Just go back to your bed, Jared. I did mean it. I’m not having sex with you anymore.”

  “I wasn’t asking.” I don’t think she expected me to say that because she’s quiet.

  Sighing, Kat ultimately asks, “Then why are you here?”

  “I already told you why.”

  “You couldn’t sleep. So? Neither can I.”

  I whisper, “Then, let’s suffer together.” Tentatively, I put my arm around her and rest my chin on her shoulder. I feel her body tense, and I assume it’s not a good thing, but still, she’s not elbowing me in the gut or back-kicking me in the balls. “I want to be here with you.”

  I hear her soft gasp. “Why would you want to be?”

  “Because… I need to.” That’s the truth.

  “I’m not delusional. You don’t have to pretend to want to be with me now.”

  “I do want you. Why don’t you believe me?”

  She scoffs against her pillow, “Only for sex.”

  “Something we’re no longer having, but guess what? I’m still here. See? I still want you.”

  “You laughed, Jared. You made it a joke. Me a joke.”

  I reach down and brush my fingers over her hand, but she jerks it away. Pulling my hand back, I say, “I’m sorry, Kit Kat. So fucking sorry. I wasn’t making fun of you. I was biting back at Liberty and I got carried away. I would never deliberately hurt you.”

  “Deliberate or not, you have been.”

  I nod against the side of her head, but struggle with what to say. Silence drifts heavily between us, until she says, “Liberty says she’ll help me get my license.”

  Lifting my head, I resolutely tell her, “I am. That doesn’t change.”

  Kat raggedly whispers, “Maybe… Maybe it should.”

  “No. I want to be the one helping you.”

  “But you’re not responsible for me. You’re not even my boyfriend.”

  Peering down at her profile, I ask, “Why do you have to put a label on what I am to you?”

  “Because I thought you were special to me. I wanted you to stand out from the rest. I put my heart on the line and I shouldn’t have. It’s my own fault.”

  I drift closer to her face, softly saying, “You are special to me, Kat. I just don’t want to ruin what we have.”

  “We don’t have anything.” Her voice catches and my chest aches.

  Trying for her hand again, I take it, whether she likes it or not. “We do. You have me, and… Kat, I need you in my life. I didn’t know how much, until you weren’t there.”

  Still refusing to look at me, she stares into the darkness. “You’re leaving, Jared. Don’t forget that.”

  “But I’m not leaving you. Don’t you forget that.”

  Closing her eyes, she tucks her face into her pillow more. “I told you, I’m not sleeping with you anymore, so when you come back to visit Dash, don’t expect me to be waiting with open legs.”

  I gape at her. “Kat. Jesus. I’m not using you. You’re the only one I’ve not used for sex.” It’s entirely different with Kat. Sex isn’t just a distraction from my thoughts of her anymore. It’s an expression of what I feel for her. With Kat, I don’t want it to end.

  She rolls her head against the pillow. “God. Jared. I don’t want to hear about all the women you’ve slept with. I’m sure it’s…a lot.”

  “It’s not that bad. I don’t have an exact number, but—”

  Her eyes fly open. “Okay. It doesn’t matter. It’s up to you what you do with your…life.”

  Resting the side of my head against the side of hers, I whisper, “But it does matter because with you, it wasn’t just about getting off. I can’t describe it, but I felt something with you.”

  “Yeah. My breast.”

  Irritated, I raise my head slightly. “Now, you’re the one joking.”

  She sighs and cringes in the dim light. “You’re right. Wow.”

  Returning my head to hers, I ask, “So, do you have a little black book?”

  “No. I’ve only been with three.” What?

  Surprised, I ask, “Really?”

  She nods, moving my head. “I guess I do have an exact number. Maybe I’ll get it right on my fourth.” Holy fuck.

  I’ll rip his goddamned dick off.

  Licking my lip, I ask, “What about you? Is…he…still in your life?” Fuck. I hope not.

  “No. He’s gone. Since everything has been taken care of, we no longer talk. I didn’t love him.”

  “Isn’t that why people get married, though?”

  “I thought I did, but he was only a Band-Aid.”

  I guardedly ask, “For what?”

  She whispers, “For my broken heart.”

  “Who was
that fucker you dated in high school? He was your first, wasn’t he?”

  “He was, but he was my first Band-Aid. He wasn’t the one who broke my heart.”

  Confused, I say, “You said you didn’t date anyone else.”

  I hear her sharp intake of air. “I didn’t…Jared.”

  The way she says that, makes every hair on my body stand on end. “Kat…”

  “You left me, barely saying goodbye. You didn’t even look back.”

  I stutter, “I-I couldn’t look back. I thought you were…” I sigh into her hair, closing my eyes. “Fuck.”

  “I lost you that day, but now, you’re back in my life. Yet, it’s like a tease. You’ll be yanked away again when you leave me.”

  “I’m not leaving you.”

  “But you will and I have to accept that.”

  I argue, “We’ll still be together.”

  “We’re not together. You’re not responsible for my happiness.”

  “But I want to contribute to it. We are together, Kat. I want us to enjoy the time I’m here, and maybe… Maybe we can see where it goes.”

  She shakes her head, surprising me. “We both want different things. I’m a teacher. I like kids, so I want to have a baby at some point.”

  Opening my eyes, I nod, but don’t have an immediate response that I want to share. However, the thought of her getting pregnant by some other fucker, sends a hot wave over me, and my hand tightens around hers.

  She goes on, “I want to be in love with the man who fathers my children.” She’s still searching for love? This shit will no doubt be the end of humanity somehow.

  Through my teeth, I warn, “You’ll only get hurt.”

  “My heart can’t break any more than it already has.”

  “Jesus,” I mutter, closing my eyes again.

  “So what good is there in seeing where it goes for us?”

  I sigh, my breath blowing down the front of her shirt, and whisper, “I don’t know.”

  “Maybe we were meant to be just friends.”

  Oddly, my throat constricts. That’s what I’ve wanted, yet I feel like she did just back-kick me in the balls.