by Gina Whitney
There was never a doubt. No hesitation. “Yes, I would love to be your wife.” I launched into his arms, nearly knocking us both off the chaise.
“Hey, aren’t you forgetting this?” He held a beautifully flawless pink diamond ring. I had no idea of the carat weight, but it was enormous. I held my hand up, looking at it this way and that. Wow. It sparkled brightly. “This will never leave your finger— ever.” He kissed the ring. I agreed. This would never leave my finger. He reached into his other pocket, pulling out a larger box. He gave it to me to open. With tears in my eyes, I opened the box carefully.
“Ah, oh my God, baby. What have you done?” An equally beautiful matching collar sat on a white satin-bedded lining. My God! I had never seen anything like it. This was too much. Who does this? This had to cost…well I had no fucking clue, but it was way too much to spend on me.
He removed the collar, opening the clasp and held it to my neck. “Forever mine?”
“Yours forever,” I answered without question, sealing it with a kiss.
Sometimes life closes doors, because it’s time to move forward. That’s a good thing, as we often forget we won’t move forward unless circumstances force us to. My mother came to mind. She hurt me…fucked me up. However, I’m going to remind myself that no pain comes without purpose. I vowed to move on, but never forget what that pain taught me. It taught me to trust my Sir above all else, and love with my whole heart every day.
That night, we spent it making love and talking. I mean, really talking. We made all sorts of exciting plans that cemented permanent smiles on our faces.
My broody alpha had left me kind words before sleep took me under. “Remember, Beauty, there are two kinds of pain: pain that hurts and pain that changes you. Stop resisting it…both help you grow. Grow with me…”
When Chance found me, I was a cap-screw away from downing a bottle of Jack Daniels. He pried the bagged bottle from my hands. “Please don’t. You made a promise.” He looked for a trash bin.
“I’m not asking. I’m telling you…hand that fucker over.” I had enough of his guru clarity. If I wanted to drink, I’d drink. Plain and fucking simple.
He handed it over forcefully. “Oh, just take the damn bottle. You’re such a baby…you know that? Now’s not the time to have a pity-party. Gia needs…” he said, walking away.
Gia? What would Gia need? I left Beauty in the hotel room. “Gia needs what?” I asked, but he continued walking across the street, paying me no regard. “Did you hear me, you plaid lovin’ fuck?” I yelled across the traffic and clung to that bottle tightly. Fuck knows if I really needed it now?
He turned around, abruptly stopping the flow of traffic. “FYI, I don’t like plaid, band-boy.” He rolled his eyes. I spied his socks quickly. Plaid! “Don’t even mention them. They don’t count. They’re considered undergarments which go under outer-garments.” He huffed. What?
“Gia? What about Gia? That’s all I care about,” I pressed him. We moved out of the street, taking a seat at a bistro-bar. “So? Now, you’ve got my attention, drama queen.” I unburdened myself by placing the JD bottle on the bar.
“There’s no easy way to say this. That being said, you need to know pronto. You’re going to be a father.” He winced, sitting as far back as possible in his seat.
I played the words over again, jumbling them around to decipher if the order fucked with the implied intent. Nope. I tried. It resulted in the same outcome— pregnant. Shit. I didn’t see that coming. Yet, it all made sense now. Her eating for two. She was erratic and emotional lately. Now, I felt guilty for the way I treated her the night before. Damn, I’m an asshole.
We sat quietly for a few minutes. Chance struck up a conversation with the bartender, explaining why I had my own brand of whiskey in hand. Several emotions played over my face as I palmed it.
“Oh, come on…it’s a baby. Babies are a blessing,” he said.
And just like that, it all came together. It wasn’t a picture-perfect situation. I planned on doing things differently. However, life being what it is…it sometimes surprises the fuck out of you. Every moment gives you a new beginning. A new opportunity for a new ending. A few hours ago, I thought I knew the ending of today. But you get a new chance every second you take a breath. Yeah, deep shit. I know. I wasn’t going to blow another second…another breath without her in my arms. She’s my second chance. My best chance…
After getting my head together, Chance filled me in on the rest. Beauty had big-time trust issues. That hurt— a lot. I had to believe that with proper guidance, we could grow this relationship into something really beautiful. This family meant everything to me. It was my family. My immediate family. And there wasn’t anything more immediate than her and the baby needing me. We had time to work on the rest…a lifetime. With certain urgency, her needing me made me feel wanted. In the end, isn’t that what we all craved? To feel needed and wanted?
I entered the suite. It was dark and quiet. Quiet enough to hear her sobs from the terrace. I walked over to listen. Who was she talking to?
We’re going to see the doctor in the morning. I want to make sure you have the very best care. It doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or girl. I just want you to be healthy. And if you turn out to be a broody lil alpha boy, I will hug you, smiling happily. If you turn out to be a bratty fresh lil girl. I will be there to show you the ropes. Boy do I know about being bratty. I just wanted to have this quick chat before any more drama gets in the way. Just know…above all, you’re loved and so is your daddy.
I never considered myself a pussy, but I just became the biggest pussy in the history of pussies. I wasn’t going to waste another moment of our lives. She was going to be my wife. The mother of my child. She needed to know that now.
I woke up to Beauty pulling on my cock with her naughty little lips. Yeah, I was hard. I always was in the morning. A big smile donned my face. Yeah, I was a sorry fucking sap…happily sorry, though. I grabbed her arm, pulling her to me.
“Come lay with me before I have to go. We have forever to fuck.” I kissed her neck as she giggled. Fuck. I loved her laugh. It did shit to my insides.
“You’re hard, though,” she sang out, excited. She was naturally horny, but the pregnancy has made her a beast.
“I have to pee.” I lied. Well, that was half-true. I did have to pee.
“Yeah, right!” Gia called me out on it. She knew I was full of shit.
“I called the doctor and made an appointment for this morning,” I told her. After she had fallen asleep, I called the doctor and made an appointment. She said she’d be happy to answer any questions in her office.
“Really?” She was shocked.
“Really,” I confirmed. “Go shower. Or you won’t have time for crepes,” I reminded her. That did it. She jetted off the bed to get ready. I went to my guitar case, getting my boy. Tonight was our only show date and I wanted to plan something special. Paper and pen in hand…I wrote the rest of Gia’s new song. Now, I’m thinking it’s going to be for the baby. Yeah, definitely. So I wrote my little one a love song…
The doctor visit was informative and mesmerizing. By her calculations, Gia was nearly two months along. Another month and she’d be out of the first trimester. Her nausea came and went throughout the whole day. Sometimes it hit early morning. While other times, at night. I was confused as to what caused it or why?
We both had deep concerns about my past drug issues and her current medication to treat her bi-polar disorder. The doctor explained that often times, many people don’t know they’re pregnant early on. We also found out often times women being treated for bi-polar disorder can safely come off their meds. The hormones during pregnancy somehow balance out. She’d be monitored closely, though. If she needed something, there were safer medications that are acceptable during pregnancy. Not preferred, but acceptable. I wouldn’t say I was comforted by that. But I certainly felt better than I did. All and all, she said the baby should be safe.
Our
conversation was steered again toward morning sickness and food. “Maybe you’re not eating what you should be eating,” I told Gia, looking for the doctor to elaborate on what foods to eat and what not to.
“It won’t matter what she eats. So let her eat what she can keep down and fill this prescription for when it’s not staying down.” She winked at Gia, handing me the script. Yeah, they were buddying up against me. Chance might as well have been there, that way it would be three against one. Gia was laying pant-less with a sheet draped across her bottom half. Her legs were spread wide and her ass was at the edge of the table.
I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of it all.
“What’s so funny?” She eyed me evilly. I motioned that I’d tell her later. The doctor would think I was a fucking pervert if I said what I was thinking.
“What about sex?” I asked.
“What about it?” She turned while between Gia’s legs. Damn. She was a feisty little sprite of a thing.
“Can she have it? How often? When do you need to stop having it? And, umm…how does positions or roughness factor in,” I asked in one breath, shrugging.
Gia’s face flushed crimson red. I was suddenly nervous. Did I say something wrong? I was new at this. I was only a few hours old. A mere fledgling. I looked to the doctor who looked equally offended as Gia’s arms crossed her chest. Damn.
I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Completely fucking hilarious, women are. “See that? He does that biting thing with his gorgeous lips. That’s why I’m here with my legs open. He has this Dom juju that gets me to open them,” she huffed at the doctor.
The doctor was now biting her own lip to keep from laughing. “Oh, I had one of those once upon a time. Had a helluva time, too!” she said sweetly, then addressed the both of us. “You can safely have sex up until the last trimester as often as you feel. To speak about the roughness, I wouldn’t be too aggressive. Gia will be a good determining factor. So I’d look to her to see what her comfort level is. In other words, she still holds the control.” She smiled winking at Gia.
“Ha! I love you! I wish you had an office in the US.” They both laughed. I sat down, chuckling to myself. Why’d I ask? I shook my head at myself. I knew better. I did. It had to be the fledgling thing. It was fucking with my head.
“From the feel of things, you can expect a mid-summer baby. A sonogram will give you better accuracy,” she explained.
“Can we do that?” I popped up from the chair.
“We sure can, but I won’t be able to tell you the sex. She’s too early in her pregnancy. But, you can hear the heartbeat.” She grinned. I loved the lady doctor, too. Too bad she didn’t have an office in Colorado.
I held Gia’s hand as we listened to the first sounds of our baby. The doctor said it was a strong heartbeat, which was great. Then she explained how some say a quicker rate meant girl and a strong, low is a boy. We spent the remainder of the day arguing about that. I definitely heard low and strong. She was positive and bet her crepes it was a girl. I’d have this fight any time with her. As long as her and my baby were in my arms…
I was told once to not let the shadows of my past darken the doorstep of my future. At the time, I didn’t realize the weight those words would carry. However, I did that night.
My beauty was in a red dress that hugged her every curve deliciously. She was a sexy vixen and she knew it. While getting dressed, she said she was going to dress pregnant- sexy-chic. Whatever the fuck that meant. I didn’t want to lose another argument with her about her body and what it made me feel. Hot. It didn’t matter what she wore. It was her. Not the clothes. Okay. I got it. She’d dress sexy for me as long as she could pull it off.
Chance was telling her to pray she carried small. But if she didn’t, no biggie. He knew someone who knew someone. I wanted to choke that plaid-sock-wearing-motherfucker. It took an hour to get Gia out of her funk. She was depressed about gaining weight. It had always been one of her many demons. I knew as much. Fuck knows I’ve got a battalion of them myself.
Before our stage prayer, I announced our engagement and Gia’s pregnancy. Jake, Woody, and Dave were the first to congratulate us. It genuinely showed on their faces. That felt good. Ender was still moody and standoffish. He just said good luck and walked back to his girl. I wasn’t going to let that jealous motherfucker get in my headspace.
That night, we would put the band before our personal grievances, which was fucking fine with me. We didn’t have the time for another argument that would certainly lead to my fist in his face. He had his girl with him. I didn’t care much for her. She had that permanent sour-lemon-smirk-face and a dress that barely covered her fake-ass tits. Either she thought she was better than she was, or was pissy about Gia and me not being so welcoming. Fuck her. I didn’t like her. More than likely, she sold those pics to the tabloids. Which meant she was a money whore. There was definitely something off about her. I didn’t have the time at the moment to figure it the fuck out so I asked Gia to steer clear. Yeah, it was hard for her considering Cindy wasn’t there and she was the only girl, but I just had a feeling this chick was a problem. Call me crazy, you wouldn’t be the first.
Before entering the stage, I kissed my beauty. “I love you, baby.”
“Love you, caveman. Have a great show. Kick fucking ass.” She clapped alongside Chance and Commando. Between the two of them, she’d be safe.
The stage was darkened. Its only source of light was the goth candles across it. “Buona sera Italia! Che cazzo di roccia!” I greeted them to deafening cheers. Good evening Italy! Let’s fucking rock! We rocked our opening set. Even Ender was smiling— always the consummate professional. We had to in order to attain the success we have. We had an oath to our fans. To each other as musicians. And we took that seriously.
The crowd’s energy filled me with electricity. Being on stage was my purpose in life. It was where I felt alive. It got me higher than any drug. Our brand of music was influencing other genres. There was no greater compliment. We were the lucky ones to be so well connected and plugged-in with our fans. Because of our fans, we were finally enjoying the fruits of our labor. Somehow, the jealousness, arguments, and the pettiness seemed worth it. We lived and died for this moment.
Since it was our last show, it was going to be a pyrotechnics’ wet dream. We were going to go out with a bang. Dave wanted this show to make history. We agreed. It was our first European tour, but not the last. However, you don’t get many firsts in life. Fuck yeah. We’d make this a memorable show.
“We recorded this a few month ago. Let me know how you like it,” I said, returning the mic to its stand and grabbed my guitar. “Promise me,” I said, beginning the melody.
Promise me you’ll try
To leave it all behind
You…you…you…
The only way is to let my guard down
Stay with me…
This is what we need
This heart, it beats
Beats for you
My heart is your heart
What am I gonna do with you— everything.
I turned and winked at my beauty. She was positively beaming. Ah. She was my own personal sunshine. Ender stepped up smiling. I nodded. I guess he was feeling the music as I did. We had a legacy to uphold. The next sixty minutes flew by, leaving me sweaty. I grabbed the towel they put out for me on Woody’s set and wiped my face and neck. Fuck those lights were blazing hot.
We were surrounded by a circus of people that had our souls on fire. I asked the band to hang back while I brought Gia on stage. I wanted to publicly announce our happy news and I couldn’t think of a better way to do it.
“Everyone out there all right? I can’t hear you?” I asked, pumping them up. The response was ear-shattering. A single beam of light reflected off a stool I had brought out. “Please welcome my fiancée.” I held out my hand as she sauntered out, smiling. Yeah, that’s my beauty. And that’s the smile that owns my fucking beating heart. Woody provided a rol
ling drum beat for effect. She flipped him off playfully. The crowd loved it, screaming “Gia!”
It was only a reaffirmation of my love for her. Proof of that love was properly seated on her finger, throat, and in her swollen belly. I smiled down at her, lifting her up onto the stool. “This is a lullaby for my beauties. Can you figure out why I’d be singing one?” I said while rubbing Gia’s belly gently.
What I need is more than affection
Show me…trust me…believe in me.
I’ve made mistakes I’m just a man,
But when I see you sleep, touch your hair, hold close
I know that you’re my always….
There’s no denying when I look in your eyes that girl it’s you
You’re my always…
The crowd was silent— affected. I only hoped my beauty felt the love that was inside of me. I was about to end the song with a kiss to her belly. I kneeled and saw Chance and Commando running on to the stage. What the fuck. They were screaming. Waving their hands. Commando threw Chance to the floor. Gia turned in their direction, wide-eyed.
“Get on the ground now!” Commando yelled. “The laser’s on you.” He pumped his arms trying to get to us faster.
Laser? I stood, looking at my shirt. A red laser agitated across my shirt. I looked up to see where it was coming from as I grabbed for Gia.
She screamed as shots rang out, tackling me to the floor. Commando was on top of her. Security stormed the stage and the lights were turned on within seconds. The blinding light in my eyes made it hard to see. Over the cries of fans, my own screams weren’t heard. Commando yelled out orders to surround us. The team closed in quickly.
“Beauty,” I whispered in her ear. Nothing. She probably couldn’t hear me. Commando peeled himself off us. We were safe. Thank fuck! He took doing his job to a whole new level. Definitely worth every penny. He grabbed, Gia helping her up. I didn’t mind his hands on her that time.
