Healing the Alien’s Heart

by Anna Lewis

  * * *

  2nd June 2006

  I couldn’t stop staring at Adam out of the corner of my eye, even though my gaze was supposed to be on the screen in front of me. This was the very first time Adam had asked me out in a non-school project way, and my mind was desperately trying to work out what that meant.

  We were at a movie, sharing popcorn, his hand continually brushed mine, but I still didn’t know if this was a friend thing, or a date. Sara had insisted that it was definitely a romantic thing, but she didn’t know Adam as well as I did, it was possible that he just wanted to be nice.

  “I love that guy, what’s his name?” he hissed at me, his breath tantalizingly tickling my cheek. His fingers pointed towards the screen forcing me to glance back at it.

  “Oh erm, I don’t know.” My heart raced frantically, and I blinked a bit too much. I had no idea what the plot even was, never mind who each actor was up on the screen. “I don’t think I’ve seen him in anything before.”

  Where did I put my hands? Why were my shoulders so hunched up? Was I breathing too loudly? I’d never been so acutely aware of myself before, and it wasn’t a pleasant sensation.

  I was also very aware of every inch of Adam too, which I much preferred to focus on. He had an intense heat, I could feel a zinging, a buzzing between us, he made my heart really swell with love. And it didn’t even feel like puppy love, I was pretty sure that what we had was the real deal.

  “Right, that’s the credits.” As Adam stood up, I couldn’t stop my eyes from running down his body. He was muscular and sinewy, and he wore the sort of designer clothing that clung perfectly to his body as if it were tailored just for me. “Shall we get going?”

  I didn’t want to leave, I wasn’t ready for this incredible night to be over, but it had to end at some point. The only issue was what would happen next? If this was just a friendship thing, a hug or handshake would suffice, but if this was a date, then a kiss could happen.

  Adam had kissed girls before, he had a lot of experience in that area, it was well known in our school, whereas I hadn’t even cuddled a boy. I had no idea what I was doing. I had no clue when it came to the technicalities, never mind actual technique. I had genuine fears that I wouldn’t match up to what Adam had explored in the past, and that terrified me to no end.

  “Yeah, okay,” I practically whispered as I imitated his body language. “Let’s go.”

  “Oh my God, that action scene with the flipping car was insane!”

  Adam was happy, excited, talking non-stop about the film, whereas I could barely breathe. It was as if something was squeezing tightly on my lungs, reminding me of all the reasons why I’d never been good enough for Adam Martin. Just because he seemed to like spending time with me, didn’t mean I should get carried away... should it?

  “So, is this your home?”

  I got so carried away, so lost inside my own mind that I didn’t even realize that we’d made it all the way to my street. “Oh no, it’s a little further down, but this is fine, thank you.”

  I stared up at him, drinking in his beautiful, dimpled smile, my pulse rate flickering wildly. He always boiled my blood in the best way possible, but this time it was even more intense. I had the feeling that there was something important going on behind his eyes, something that he wanted to discuss with me, but silently.

  I just wished that I wasn’t too obtuse to hear it.

  “I had a really nice time,” Adam murmured, moving his body closer to mine. There was a small distance between us, but I could feel a hum, a vibration pouring off of him. He might as well have been curved right around me for the way he was making me feel. “Thank you for agreeing to come out with me.”

  “Yeah, of course.” Did he actually think that I wouldn’t? Could he not see how pathetically in love with him I was? I felt like it was painted across my forehead like a neon sign. “Thank you for inviting me.”

  Okay, he was definitely going to kiss me, his torso was touching mine, his hand working its way up to hold my cheek, plus it was written across his face. He liked me, it was all there, however unbelievable it was. I didn’t know whether to run, to push Adam off, or to finally get what I’d always wanted.

  Then his lips crashed against mine, leaving me totally out of options. My breath zapped right out of my body, my heart literally stopped, the entire world shrunk down to only me and Adam. The boy of my dreams had his lips softly pressed against mine, sparks flew everywhere, everything was perfect. He heated me up, calmed me down, sent my body flying higher than air.

  It seemed like it was a date after all, and one that I desperately hoped would lead to hundreds more...

  * * *

  20th September 2016

  Admittedly, Adam recovered impressively quickly, and his expression turned from one of shock to a big, beaming smirk.

  “Oh yeah? So, you want to talk about us do you?” He moved closer to me, which compelled me to stand back up again. I didn’t want to be at any disadvantage if I could help it. “How about how the last decade has been good to you, how you’ve grown into a seriously smoking hot woman?”

  His hand touched my flaming cheek, which I flinched rapidly back from. I didn’t want him saying those things, or touching me, even if it did make my heart race. I wanted to talk about the real stuff. Obviously, it wasn’t always rainbows and freaking puppy dogs between us, or we wouldn’t have ended up in the situation we were in—almost strangers, staring at each other as if we didn’t know where to turn next. We were once so close that nothing could’ve torn us apart.

  “No, you know what I want to discuss.”

  “About how all I’ve wanted to do is get my hands on you, ever since I first saw you.”

  He stepped closer again, undeterred by my blatant rejection, and I felt his soft fingers brushing against my thigh. Only gently, and not for long at all, but it awoke the dragon of deep desire that I’d locked away many years ago. New, unexpected sensations fluttered and danced in my chest.

  “Are we going to talk about how you’re the only one who’s ever made me feel this way.”

  There it was, some acknowledgement of the past. My brain was swimming, drowning in everything that he was making me feel, but somehow that managed to get through. If I did my best to focus on that, rather than what he was doing to me, then I at least had a small chance at remaining strong.

  “So, why don’t we both stop fighting it?” He thought he had me, I could see it written all over him. “Why don’t we just give in, now, while we have a room to ourselves.”

  God, I hated to admit it, even to myself, but that was tempting. I bit down on my lip as I recalled how good it felt to have Adam in my arms. He always made me feel special, that I was worthy, that I was desirable. I hadn’t realized it until that very moment but it’d been a long time since I’d felt that good... a decade in fact. Ever since the final time I saw Adam. I knew that I could do it, I could tumble back onto the sheets and let him have me screaming like there was no tomorrow. I wanted him now even more than I did then, because the years had been so incredible to him as well. He wasn’t a boy anymore, he was a man, and I wanted to explore the body of that man...

  But no. There were certain things I needed to know first. This wasn’t a normal situation, this needed clarification. I turned my back away from him, unable to look at his face anymore. I was okay when I couldn’t see him, it made my thoughts so much clearer.

  “Adam, I have to know something,” I told him softly, sliding my eyes shut and I prepared to unlock the box I’d kept shut for many years. “I need to know why you left me.”

  He sighed deeply. But didn’t say anything. I could sense him pacing the room, each step as indecisive as the last. I almost wanted to spin around and comfort him, I almost felt bad for dragging up the dead bodies of what had happened, but we couldn’t do any of this without at least acknowledging that things had gone wrong.

  An ice-cold shiver raced up and down my spine as the seconds continued to tick pas
t. The air was thick with tension, I could barely suck any of it back into my lungs it was that bad, causing a heaviness to overcome me.

  This was potentially going to be our only chance to get this sorted. Once we left this room, any opportunity to make things right went with it. We would probably go back to ignoring one another in the hallways.

  Eventually I couldn’t stand it anymore, I needed to know, my heart was aching under the sheer desperation. I spun on my heels, and slowly lifted my eyes off the ground to look at the one man who held all the answers. Our eyes connected, a sharp bolt of lightning tore right through me, and with that all sensibilities simply flew out the window, and that magnetism drew me back in. I didn’t even realize I was moving towards him until our bodies connected.

  I needed answers, my mind knew that, but what my body wanted was something wholly different, and right now it was my body in charge. My lips pursed up towards him, my feet automatically went onto their tiptoes, remembering just how much taller he always was than me, and my heart pulsated noisily for him.

  Adam cocked his head curiously at me, before his fingers snaked up to my cheeks once more. In a weird way, this was almost an exact replication of our first ever kiss, and the nostalgia of that was almost too much to bear. This wasn’t some stranger, some unattainable man, this was the only person I’d ever loved, and being back with him felt far more right than I ever knew it could.

  And then his lips were on mine, only this time there was no tenderness, only passion. He was claiming me, consuming me, and I was happily jumping into the abyss giving him everything. Adam Martin was the only person I ever really wanted to kiss, and here I was getting just that once more.

  * * *

  21st July 2006

  “Can you believe it?” I gasped as my hand swung casually in my boyfriends. “We’re finishing school today!”

  He kissed me lightly in front of everyone—a fact that was only still a novelty to me. Everyone was so used to us as a couple now, no one batted an eyelash. It had been well over a month, which was like a lifetime in school terms. Even Tiana didn’t bother to flirt with him as much anymore... although she did continue to be bitchy about me, just about loud enough for me to hear. Not that it ever bothered me... not really.

  “I know, right? And Tiana’s party tonight is going to be epic. Everyone will be there!”

  “Urgh, we don’t have to go, do we? Or at least, I don’t.” I really didn’t like the idea of hanging out with my arch enemy. I had the horrible feeling that this was all a plot to humiliate me in some way. Some sort of Carrie bullshit.

  “What? Are you insane?” He chuckled, actually believing that I’d gone mad. “We have to go, everyone is going, even Sara. You’ll have a great time, I promise.”

  I didn’t answer him, I simply pursed my lips instead. I really didn’t want to go anywhere near her home, but I had the sinking feeling that I wasn’t about to get away with it. Plus, it would probably be worse for Adam to go alone anyway. He was better now, not acting so playboy-like, but my insecurities sometimes made it utterly unbearable.

  “Yeah, alright,” I finally gasped out defeated. “We’ll see.”

  I glanced over to where I could see my best friend hunched over a text book, wondering how this distance had managed to be created between us. We were once so close, but somewhere along the line I’d let her drift away a bit. I guess I got lost in the joy of my fantasy becoming real. Maybe the party would be a good place for me to restart my friendship. We’d drift apart when we left this town to go to college, but it didn’t have to start so early.

  To survive the party I would just have to ensure that I looked incredible, too good for anyone to know that Adam was way too good for me. If I focused on clothes rather than the actual idea of being in Tiana’s home, then it wouldn’t totally ruin the last day of this chapter of my life.

  “So, when we both get to Texas, how often are you going to come and see me?”

  “Every weekend.” I nudged Adam with my hip. “You’re gonna get sick of me in the end.”

  I did feel really bad that I’d changed my college plans to be nearer to Adam, when I wouldn’t for Sara, but she would understand... I hoped. I hadn’t yet worked up the courage to tell her, which really answered the question for me.

  God, I was such a bitch. I needed to make things right. I yearned to go over and speak to her, but school didn’t feel like the time or place for that. I wasn’t geared up for a scene here.

  “Oh I doubt that, knowing that I’ll get to see your beautiful face will be enough to get me through each week! I’m going to love it. I just hope the colleges are as close together as you say they are.”

  “Hmm?” Adam brought me away from my current problems and had me daydreaming about the future once more. I loved thinking about it, it really did feel like it was going to be incredible.

  Our future looked so bright, it was so solid that I couldn’t wait for it. I’d been looking forward to escaping the person I was in school, but now all I wanted was to still be her. She wasn’t so bad, not with Adam by my side.

  "Don’t you worry about that, everything will be fine.”

  And I honestly believed in that moment that I had everything figured out.

  Maybe the party wouldn’t be so bad after all, maybe it would be nice to say goodbye to all of this in a nice way. Sure, it hadn’t all been great, but I was leaving on a high and that deserved to be celebrated after all. At least I was finishing this as Adam Martin’s girlfriend.

  * * *

  20th September 2016

  Oh my God, what the hell was I doing? And why did it have to feel so good? Maybe if we’d kissed, and the spark was no longer there, then everything could settle back to normal...

  But no, every part of me was lit up in an intoxicating fire. The powerful electricity was heating up my veins, the pulsating need in my underwear was screaming so loudly I couldn’t ignore it any longer, and the further Adam’s lips worked down my neck, the crazier I became.

  “Holy hell,” I muttered quietly as I felt those wonderful fingers snaking around my waist. My heart bulldozed, the desperation in the pit of my stomach needed him to explore me further. Anyone could walk in on us at any given moment, but I wasn’t even considering that. The power of my craving was far too intense.

  Adam walked me backwards until my butt hit the dressing table, and I gratefully caved into it, glad to have something solid to stop me from falling over. This was unexpected, probably not the right move for this moment, but I simply couldn’t stop myself.

  I wrapped my legs around Adam’s waist and yanked him closer to me, kissing him hard and fast. His hands were trailing up and down my legs, mine were knotting up in his hair, I couldn’t quite tell where he ended and I began, which was how it was always supposed to be.

  After a few moments, Adam pulled away and he dropped to his knees, which stunned me. I flickered my gaze down to him, shock rendering me speechless, which only caused him to smirk back at me. There was no control anymore, he had every bit of it, and I couldn’t care less. I didn’t want it, if it meant I couldn’t get to experience any of this.

  Adam slid his mouth up my thighs, flicking his tongue all over me as he went, which caused me to toss my head back in sheer ecstasy. My knuckles had such tight grip of the dresser that I was certain they’d gone white.

  “Oh my God, fuck, Adam,” I cried out, probably a little too loudly for a secret rendezvous.

  My back arched, my pulsating, hot, wet desire slid nearer to him as he teased the outline of my very simple, boring cotton panties. I didn’t have many things with me while I stayed in the hotel, I was coping with the most basic of underwear, but with Adam touching it, it felt like the sexiest damn thing on the planet.

  His fingers traced over the material, boiling my blood over, I couldn’t stand it anymore, my heart was thundering, I was physically shuddering, I could hardly breathe. It was too much.

  “You want this, don’t you?” Adam hissed smugly in
to my ear. “You want me.”

  “Yes,” I panted, moving my hands upwards to dig my nails into his shoulders. “Yes, I do.”

  “Beg for it,” he commanded. His tone was very different from the Adam that I was used to, but I liked it. It turned me on, it reminded me that he was my boss now, and that this was incredibly taboo.

  “Please. Please, I need this.”

  He rewarded my compliance by ripping my panties clean off. I could feel his breath on my entrance, the cool whispers sending me even more insane.

  “Oh my God, more.”

  He slowly, tantalizingly ran his fingers up and down my slit.

  “More, fuck, Adam!”

  With that, he could sense that the desperation was getting too much, so thankfully he drove his fingers hard into me, causing an involuntary moan to burst past my lips. His hands felt incredible inside of me, he was sending me far too close to the knife edge of desire, I felt too close to losing it.

  Then, just as I was about to scream, his fingers whipped away and his mouth claimed me instead. And wow... his tongue drawing patterns over my clit was too much for my heart to handle. My heart screamed, my body buckled, I’d lost every bit of myself.

  “Fuck... me...” I gasped, needing everything from him. “Now.”

  Adam stepped backwards as he stood up, making a big show of dropping his trousers and underwear for me. What lay underneath caused my breath to get stuck in my throat. He was huge... much bigger than I’d been expecting, reminding me of just how adult this now was. We were too young for this when we were dating in school, we never got the chance for this. I’d had a couple of very boring flings since, but I’d never been made to feel like this. It was completely brand new to me.

  I opened and closed my mouth a few times, because I didn’t really have anything to say. Then as he stepped closer to me, that brave, sex goddess that he’d turned me into took over once more and I yanked him so close to me that I could feel his length teasing my entrance. The powerful need was growing, desperation was intensifying, so when he finally slid into me I almost couldn’t take it.