Death's Door (Supernatural Security Force Book 3)

by Heather Hildenbrand

  But the minute I’d finished going over the plan, Jax had let loose a string of curses, several of them aimed at Adrik, and stalked from the room. I’d contemplated packing up and leaving immediately. But the truth was Jax’s security team was an asset I couldn’t afford to lose when this all went down. A reality that sent me angrily marching off to find him instead of waltzing out in a dramatic sort of retreat, our co-parented demon baby in my arms.

  Shockingly enough, Faith had taken Fergie from me and propelled me in here to “convince him” this was the right move.

  But Jax had proven to be a hard sell.

  “Adrik wants to help. And having two more Nephilim on our side doesn’t exactly hurt our chances,” I said, trying to figure out what made him so resistant.

  “And the sacrifice needed to open the portal? We’re still no closer to figuring out how to make the spell work.”

  Actually, I’d yet to even try the spell Z had given us. Not that there’d been time in all of the chaos. But I decided not to mention that.

  “We’ll catch a rabbit or something,” I said, exasperated. “It’s not a big deal.”

  He shot me a look of disbelief. “Selaphiel tried grabbing a fae with deep-rooted power, and you think a rabbit will be enough for this?”

  I scowled. “So you figured it out too?” I asked, thinking of my mom.

  “Look, that Nephilim she’s close with will keep her safe, but yes. It’s obvious Selaphiel believes nothing less than a powerful supernatural will serve as the sacrifice needed for the portal she wants.”

  “I’ll think of something,” I said, frustration leaking into my words.

  He was right. It was the missing ingredient. And I couldn’t walk in there without it.

  Jax laughed, a humorless sound. “Even now, you still don’t get it.”

  “Get what?” I demanded. “That you’re against me being assertive and independent enough to fight my own battles?”

  “If that were it, I’d walk away right now,” he said. “Leave you to it.”

  I huffed.

  “Is this about Adrik?”

  His expression turned stony. “That Nephilim has you under his spell,” he muttered darkly.

  “He’s trying to help us take down his own sister,” I snapped.

  “Let me guess,” he said in a hard voice. “He’s promising you that if Selaphiel’s out of the way, there’ll be nothing but rainbows and unicorns for the two of you.”

  “What? Of course not. With Selaphiel gone, I’ll be alive.”

  He shook his head. “Selaphiel isn’t the only threat to our way of life, Gem. Every Nephilim on this planet wants to rule us. To keep us down so they can elevate themselves to more power. Selaphiel is a link in a chain. If she’s gone, another will rise up in her place, content to use us as fodder for a war between them and their Maker.”

  An image of Raguel flashed in my mind, but I shook my head.

  “Where is this coming from? I thought you wanted to stop Selaphiel as much as I do.”

  “Of course I want to stop her. But you have to see the big picture.”

  “I see you ranting at me when we’re supposed to be figuring out how to beat an immortal being. If this is your pep talk, it sucks.”

  He sighed, and some of his temper drained away. “You’re right. This is bad timing on my part. Come here.”

  He wrapped his arms around me, and I let him pull me close, inhaling the scent of him. Through the fabric of his shirt, I pressed my cheek against the hard planes of his chest.

  Jax was solid. Warm. Caring.

  Not a cold-hearted predator with unpredictable instincts.

  He was someone who’d been there when I needed him. The same guy who’d helped me save Fergie and kept my secrets, no questions asked.

  The hug reminded me all he wanted was our safety. And here I was, constantly pushing us into the danger.

  “I worry about you,” he said against my hair. “And about our future.”

  “I worry about that too,” I told him, doing my best to ignore the way he said “our” future—like he only meant him and me.

  Of course, he meant all of us.

  Right?

  But my response seemed to satisfy him, and I felt him relax before pulling away and pressing a kiss against the top of my head.

  “I’m glad you finally agree with me,” he said. “That makes things easier.”

  “We’re on the same side, Jax. We both want the same thing.”

  He nodded. “And we both understand it’ll take sacrifice to achieve it.”

  He started for the door, and uneasiness ran through me at his parting words. He’d said all the right things and yet—

  “Where are you going?” I asked.

  “To brief my men,” he said. “We’ll need their tactical support if we’re going to corner that bitch.”

  “Thank you,” I told him.

  He nodded and then paused at the door. “Gem?”

  “Yeah?”

  He stared at me for a long moment, his expression hard. “Make it two rabbits.”

  “Very funny.”

  His expression changed then. Something clearer than before, less angry though not altogether kind.

  “I won’t let anything hurt you, Gem. Not even your own commitment to that asshole. If it’s a choice between him or you, I choose you. Always.”

  He walked out, leaving me standing there to figure out what his words meant. They sounded a lot like Adrik’s promise to protect me from his crazy sister. Except with an edge that felt more about Jax’s willingness to kill than his desire to keep me from harm. Somewhere along the way, he might have become the very thing he’d fought so hard to destroy.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Alone in my room, I whispered the incantation Z had given me. Magic erupted, hot and bright—and then fizzled out. Again.

  “Shitballs.” I chucked the remnants, nothing more than ash, onto the floor.

  “That poor cleaning service.”

  Milo walked in, and I scowled. “I don’t have the energy left to verbally spar with you,” I told him. “I have to conjure a portal.”

  His brow lifted deliberately at the pile of ash. “And you think my presence is the only thing standing between success and failure?”

  “Milo, I mean it.”

  Instead of leaving, he sat down on the rug across from me. “It’s not going to work unless you spill some blood.”

  “Now who’s giving the cleaning company a run for their money?”

  “Ha.” He leaned in. “I’m serious. You don’t have to kill anything, but a little blood will let us see if it’s working.”

  “How do you know all this?” I asked.

  “When I was a kid, I went through a phase where I thought my fae abilities were proof I was half-warlock.”

  “You thought your little ball of electricity was proof of magic in your family tree?” I asked.

  “Don’t judge me. I have daddy abandonment issues.”

  “No judgment,” I assured him. “So? Was it?”

  “No, but I spent an entire summer trying to learn a spell that would make all his hair fall out, wherever in the world he was.”

  I bit back a smile.

  “The witch who helped me was a real hardass too. All about the purity of the trade. Anyway, she told me—no, berated into me—that life force feeds magic.” His voice went high and cranky as he imitated the woman, “Energy for energy, blood for blood.” He shook his head as if dismissing the memory then gestured to my ritual items arranged just so. “So that’s how I know. If you want to test it, add some blood to the mix.”

  “Okay. Give me your hand.”

  “What?” His eyes went wide, and he yanked his hands behind his back. “I didn’t say my blood.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Fine. Crybaby.”

  I grabbed the ritual knife Z had “given” us and used it to cut a small gash into my palm. When the blood began to pool, I took a deep breath and recited the inca
ntation.

  “Sand and sea. Space and Galaxy. New worlds open. This I decree. As blood intends, so mote it be.”

  The rest of it was in Latin, and I stumbled through it, hoping I’d pronounced it well enough for the universe to understand me.

  Then the magic sparked to life, a ball of light that spun and glowed and sparked in my palm, right over the space where my exposed blood had gathered.

  I stared at it, mesmerized.

  As I watched, the center began to swirl in a different direction than the edges. Green and white and blue and black and every color between swirled with it. Amid the kaleidoscope of colors, I caught glimpses of things I recognized. Trees. Plants. Water.

  “Holy shit, was that a cat?” Milo breathed.

  “I think it worked,” I whispered, afraid to spook whatever magic I’d woken. It was beautiful.

  A moment later, it wobbled, some of the colors sliding together as if melting away.

  “Uh-oh, I think it’s falling apart.”

  “It needs coordinates,” Milo said. “Tell it which dimension you want to open.”

  “Z said it would just know once I said the incantation.”

  “Well, I think it’s confused. Just make something up.”

  I dragged my gaze from the swirling portal-to-be to Milo. “You want me to make up metaphysical latitude and longitude off the top of my head?”

  He started to answer but stopped again as the portal suddenly enlarged, its swirling center obscuring the bed behind it.

  “I think it chose,” I said as the center swirls began to crystalize into a landscape. Okay, not a landscape. A utopia.

  Streets paved in gold. Breathtakingly beautiful sculptures carved from precious gems. Rivers of honeysuckle nectar pungent enough I could smell it from here.

  “Sweet baby Jesus, is that…heaven?” Milo squeaked.

  “It’s something,” I said, both awed and unsure.

  It was gorgeous, certainly. But something about it felt off. Too perfect, maybe? Or conjuring it had been too easy. How was it possible that I—a shapeshifting fae—had summoned a doorway to heaven with nothing more than a single drop of my blood?

  The opening widened, and I found myself leaning closer.

  Out of the corner of my eye, something moved, and it took me longer than usual to focus on it. Like my mind didn’t want to look away from the breathtaking view.

  Something moved, a bright white aura too glaring for me to see the figure inside it.

  “Delishush,” said a voice I knew all too well.

  I tore my gaze from the portal’s opening just in time to see Fergie waddling toward it. Her webbed foot caught on the rug, and she teetered, dangerously close to tumbling right through the portal.

  I shrieked and grabbed for her, interrupting the magic still feeding off my open wound. The portal crackled, its edges wavering and the center going staticky.

  Then, it winked out.

  I grabbed Fergie and pulled her back just in time.

  “Delishush,” she said again, pouting at having lost her chance to cross over.

  “It was delicious,” I told her, chest heaving with panicked breaths.

  “Nice reflexes,” Milo said, dazed.

  I looked up to see the bedroom door hanging open and Faith standing there, jaw wide open.

  “Did you just conjure a fucking portal to heaven?” she demanded.

  “Maybe.” I went for nonchalance, despite my thundering heart.

  Faith’s expression remained blank, but her skin flushed red; not easy, considering everything had a blueberry undertone.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “Ugh,” she said, squeezing her eyes shut. “You’re such a damn overachiever.”

  Then she stomped off.

  I shared a look with Milo.

  “She’s jealous,” I said. “Unbelievable.”

  “Don’t look at me. She’s here by Jax’s invitation only.”

  Fergie wiggled out of my arms, and I let her go, scooping up the knife and other ritual items before she could decide they qualified as “delishush” too.

  “Speaking of which,” Milo said hesitantly, “I noticed he left pretty quickly after you talked earlier.”

  I glanced up at him but he didn’t back down at my expression.

  “He’s on board,” I said simply.

  “On board as in he’s going to follow our plan or on board as in he’s going off book and will rip out throats the first chance he gets?”

  I put the last of the items back into the bag and sat back. “He has our back.”

  “Gem.”

  The warning in his voice frustrated me. “I know.”

  His brows arched. “Do you?”

  “You’re going to tell me I have to make a choice. Gran already did that.”

  “Actually, I was going to tell you he’s what I affectionately refer to as a ticker.”

  “What’s a ticker?”

  Did I even want to know?

  “He’s hot as hell, but at some point, he’s going to blow up. A ticking time bomb. A ticker.”

  “He’s been through a lot.”

  He arched a brow. “Are you saying that excuses his throat-ripping?”

  “Are you saying you’re no longer on Team Jax?”

  “You know I want to be. Dude has great taste in loungewear.”

  I smirked. Milo had yet to take off the damn smoking jacket. I wondered if he planned to fight Selaphiel in it too.

  “But?” I prompted.

  “I just want you to be safe. And happy. And not blown up.”

  “The ticker,” I said.

  “The ticker,” he agreed.

  “Thanks.”

  His brows lifted. “You’re not going to make some passive-aggressive comment about how your love life is none of my business?”

  “Would it make a difference?”

  He winked. “Of course not.”

  “Which is why I’m saving my breath.”

  “Smart.” He grinned.

  “So, this thing with Selaphiel,” I said.

  “Yes?”

  “Adrik will call us when the council breaks from their meetings. Once they do, I’ll text Selaphiel from Rourke’s phone, telling her I’m ready.”

  “And that you’ve managed to snag an even better blood sacrifice.”

  “Ugh. I still need to figure that part out.”

  “No,” he said. “You don’t.”

  “What do you mean? Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “Because I have an idea. This is my idea face.”

  “It looks like your guilty, I-just-committed-a-crime face.”

  “I use it for both.”

  “Milo.”

  “I’m your sacrifice.”

  I blinked at him.

  “I think the cigars have killed all your brain cells.”

  “I’m serious. Selaphiel wanted a fae—”

  “No, she wanted a supernatural, and she chose my mom to fuck with me.”

  “Fine. Then your BFF is a consolation prize that will keep her from killing you—Rourke—for failing to kidnap your mother. Wow, this conversation is weird.”

  “Milo, I can’t put you in danger like that.”

  “You’re not. I’m putting myself in danger. Totally different.”

  “Mi.”

  “G.”

  “If I say no, you’ll just have Faith hog tie you and toss you into the middle of things, won’t you?”

  “No?” His smile made it clear I’d nailed it.

  I sighed.

  “It’s a solid plan. Once she hears Rourke has you in custody, she’ll let him—me—off the hook for not grabbing my mom.”

  “And then, boom, the magic happens, literally.”

  “Right.”

  A beat of silence passed. I worked up the nerve to say what I’d been thinking.

  “Listen, Adrik swears this is all going to work. That the moment Selaphiel watches Jophiel go through that portal, she
’ll weaken and he’ll finish her. But…”

  “Oh, shit. What do you know?”

  “Nothing,” I assured him. “But you know field missions never go exactly the way you plan.”

  “Why do I feel like you’re about to bring me in on your contingency plan?”

  “Because I am.”

  “And why do I feel like I’m going to hate it worse than cargo shorts?”

  I tried for a smile but knew it fell flat. “If it doesn’t work, and Selaphiel hurts me, I want you to take Fergie.”

  He stared at me. “That’s your contingency plan? To die and leave your demon baby to me? Do you know what kind of parent I’d be?”

  “Selaphiel’s an all-powerful Nephilim, Milo. If this plan doesn’t work, nothing will. What do you expect me to do?”

  “Pull a fucking rabbit out of a hat, Gem, that’s what.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “I’m serious. I’ve fought beside you enough to know your determination is your superpower. Every time I think we’re about to get our asses handed to us, you always manage to surprise me.”

  “Surprises aren’t all they’re cracked up to be,” I muttered.

  But he only glared at me. “You signed up for the SSF to avenge your father, but you stayed because you realized you’re good at this.” When I didn’t respond, he said, “You still want to be an agent. Tell me I’m wrong.”

  I sighed. “You’re not wrong.”

  “Okay, and what would an agent do right now?”

  “Call for backup?”

  “Anticipate your opponent.”

  I grimaced. “Maybe that’s the problem. I already have.”

  “She’s not stronger than you.”

  “Okay, I really do think all the cigars are getting to your brain cells.”

  “I’m serious. Gem. We can do this. She has Neph power, but you have more than that. You have us. And Adrik. And Faith is too bitchy to die. Your team has your back. Selaphiel doesn’t know what that’s like.”

  “You’re right.” I sighed, trying to adopt some of Milo’s confidence. “I just wish one of us was immune to her power.”

  “This isn’t about the team, is it?”

  I look up to see Milo studying me, head cocked knowingly. “This is about a certain male Nephilim.”