by Lisa Suzanne
Reed turned to leave the bar, and I followed him outside.
“Reed!” I called to him. He whirled around, the haunted sadness in his eyes replaced by rage.
I’d never seen him like that before.
It scared me, but some deeply disturbed part of me also found it incredibly sexy.
“What the fuck do you want from me, Quinn?” he cried out, his voice a mix of aggravation, fury, and grief.
My own voice matched his. “I want us to make this work!”
We were yelling at each other on the quiet sidewalk outside the bar.
“Making out with the fucking bartender isn’t the way to do that!”
“Oh, you’re one to talk, you fucking hypocrite!”
He froze with surprise, like I had slapped him across the face. Again.
“Yeah, Repulsive Reed. I saw you all over that slut in the bathroom hallway. Our hallway!”
He looked immediately guilty, but he covered it well. “So I’m just supposed to ignore every girl that pays attention to me for the rest of my life in case it should offend you?”
“No, Reed! You should be with me! We shouldn’t even be having this conversation because we should be in my bed right now!”
Oops. That last bit slipped out unfiltered, but I didn’t regret saying it.
“Quinn,” he said, his voice lowering as a crowd started forming to watch our fight. “We tried, okay? It didn’t work. It’s time for both of us to move on.”
“We didn’t try hard enough, then.”
“It shouldn’t be this much work. Not when it’s new. The beginning is supposed to be the easy part.”
“So you’re giving up?”
“I tried. And I got fucked over.”
“That’s just the thing!” My volume went back to max level. “I didn’t fuck you over! And you won’t even fucking listen to what I have to tell you!”
“Like I’m going to trust a goddamn word you’re about to say after you were just inside kissing the fucking bartender,” he said snidely.
I felt the need to strike out physically, so I pushed him with both of my hands on his chest as I screamed, “I fucking hate you, Reed Porter!”
He stumbled back, but he gained his footing quickly. “I fucking hate you back!” he yelled at me, and then he stalked toward me, pulling me against his body as his lips crashed down to mine.
My heart raced as his mouth worked its magic against mine.
Kissing Reed Porter was unlike anything I’d ever experienced in my life.
He crushed my body to his, and my hands laced around his neck and found their way up into his hair. We were literally all over each other on the sidewalk as butterflies beat against every available surface in my body from my throat down to my aching vagina.
His tongue was persistent and aggressive, beating against mine with a newfound hunger I’d never felt from him before. I met his strokes evenly with the same raw desire.
He broke the kiss suddenly, pushing me away from him. “God dammit,” he muttered under his breath.
I just stood like an idiot, staring at the man whose lips I wanted back the fuck on top of mine.
I watched as he hailed a cab, and then he opened the door and turned to stare at me.
I got in, and I was shocked when he got in beside me.
He gave the driver my address, and suddenly my car in the parking lot of Strikers was forgotten as Reed leaned in toward me and his lips found mine again. He urged me over so I straddled his lap.
I backed up for a moment, breaking the connection of our lips, and I stared into his stormy eyes. He gazed back at me, and I saw the strong emotions in his always expressive eyes. So much was written there that I didn’t even know where to begin to categorize what he felt for me.
His eyes flicked down to my necklace, and he fingered it for a second before his eyes met mine again. There was so much pain there, and I had been the cause of all of it.
I palmed his cheek in one hand, his stubble rough under my hands, and he closed his eyes and leaned into my touch.
That simple move from him sent a rocket of emotion through me as everything from desire to passion to affection to the very early stages of what could be love tingled in my veins and filtered through my blood.
I pushed my lips softly to his, and he kissed back with a sweet tenderness. The heady contrast between the rage-inspired kiss on the sidewalk to this gentle, emotional kiss struck me with an unexpected intensity.
The driver pulled up to the curb outside my apartment building, and Reed paid as I got out. He met me on the sidewalk and we held hands as we walked into my building, neither of us wanting to stop touching the other.
I unlocked my door with one hand since the other was still connected to his. As soon as we were inside and the door shut securely behind us, Reed had me up against the wall, his mouth hot over mine again.
Panic was the furthest thing from my mind as I started tearing at his clothes to get them off of him. He slowed my progress when he placed a hand over mine as I started to lift his shirt over his head, his lips never leaving mine.
I stopped kissing him, wondering why the hell he wasn’t letting me strip him.
That’s what we were here for, wasn’t it?
He pulled his lips from mine and backed away from me.
“What?” I spat out at him. “Isn’t this why we’re here?”
He blew out a cynical chuckle. “No, Quinn. It’s not.”
He paced in front of me.
“Fuck,” he muttered.
I just stared at him while I waited for him to get his thoughts together, but I was pissed. You don’t fucking take me to my apartment and kiss me like that and not expect a night of sex.
He finally spoke. “I don’t want it to be like this.”
“Like what, Reed?”
“Anger. Violence. It’s not me, and I don’t want it to be us. I don’t want to fuck you out of anger.”
“Stop being such a pussy and just fuck me already.”
His gaze narrowed at me. “Nice.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “If you didn’t want sex, why did you come here?”
He threw both of his hands up in the air. “I don’t fucking know!” He was yelling again. “I can’t stay away from you even though I know you’re no good for me!”
“How do you know that? How can you possibly know that when we haven’t even given this a try?” I challenged, my own voice rising again.
“Because, Quinn. Because seeing you standing right there,” he pointed to my doorway, “with that fucking bartender hurt me more than finding out Izzy had been fucking my best friend.”
My breath left my body as I stood against the wall in silence, unsure how to respond to that.
The stupid misunderstanding between the two of us had hurt him worse than finding out that his girlfriend had been cheating on him?
His confession gave me a whole lot of clarity. Without saying the words, he’d just admitted that he was in love with me. He hardly knew me, and it didn’t make sense, and it was too fast, but people don’t get that hurt over someone they don’t care about.
I thought back to an old saying that my mom used to tell me whenever the two of us would fight back in my teenage years: “The people who have the power to hurt you most are the ones who you really love.”
He broke the silence. “You owe me an explanation.”
My candor slipped out before I could stop it. “I don’t owe you jack shit.”
“Tell me what the fuck happened with you and the bartender.”
“I thought you didn’t want to hear it.”
“I don’t, but I need to.”
I sighed, still leaning up against the wall while he paced nervously in front of me. “I was saying goodbye to him. We didn’t have sex that night, Reed. I was saying a permanent goodbye. He wanted more, and it made me realize that I don’t want more.”
“You don’t want more,” he repeated, a broken sorrow permeating his tone.
His eyes snapped up to mine hopefully. “Not with Tyler?”
I smiled as I watched my meaning hit him at full force.
“But maybe with someone else?” he asked.
I nodded. “Maybe with someone else.”
“Someone who is repulsive and righteous at the same time?”
“And preppy and annoying as fuck and sexy.”
“And totally not your type?”
I giggled. “Completely not my type. He has fucking blonde hair and blue eyes.”
“Ugh,” he grunted, a small smile finally passing over his lips. “Sounds like a douche.”
“He’s a total nerd.”
“And you think you want more with him?”
“I think I do,” I whispered, the icy fear that had clutched at my heart suddenly melting away as I stared at the man that I wanted to take a risk on. “I think not trying it with him would hurt more than any other pain that could come from it.”
“I think the past four days have been some of the worst in my life.”
My heart skipped a beat at his words. “Before we get to the fun part of making up, can you explain to me about the slut bag?”
“The slut bag?”
“The girl whose mouth was all over yours in our hallway.”
“Oh,” he smiled sheepishly. “That.”
I nodded. “Yeah. That.”
“Look, Quinn. I was hurting, and I was trying to find some way to make the pain go away. I had no idea that the only one who could heal me was you.”
“So the pain is gone, now?”
“It’s like any injury,” he said, moving closer to me. “It takes some time for the wounds to completely heal. But I’m on the road to recovery.”
“I’m so sorry, Reed,” I said quietly, sincerely, as his body met mine against the wall.
“I am, too,” he said, leaning down to brush a gentle kiss across my lips.
“For what?”
“I was cruel to you. I misjudged the situation and didn’t give you a chance to explain.” He pulled me away from the wall so that we stood in a hug, our arms clutching at each other.
“This is new territory for me. It’s been awhile since I’ve done the relationship thing, and it might take some trial and error before I get it right.”
“I am here to be the one who tries and fixes with you.”
I smiled and reached up to plant a kiss on his jaw. “This stubble is sexy,” I said, “but it’s so not you.”
“I’ve been a little preoccupied to shave the past few days.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Some blonde obsessed with owls broke my heart, but she’s working on fixing it.”
His lips met mine, and this time when I went for the hem of his shirt, he let me.
I tore it over his head and gasped at the sight before me.
I’d pictured Reed’s torso in my mind a hundred times. Abs just did it for me, and based on our fully clothed activities, I figured he was in shape. But the cut tone of his perfectly sculpted six-pack of muscles was surely a sight to behold. He had a strong chest and broad shoulders, and all I could think of was what our skin to skin contact would feel like. I ran my hands from his chest down to his abs, and then I played with the waistband on his jeans.
He grinned as he pulled my shirt over my head, and he did that talented little snappy thing with my bra strap and managed to unhook it with one try. I pulled it off and threw it on the floor beside us. He laced his arms around my back and pulled me into him, crushing my breasts against his chest.
The feel of his warm skin covering mine was glorious, and as his mouth found mine again, I knew that everything about this moment was exactly right.
I felt him pull on my legs, so I lifted one and wrapped it around his hip. He helped me with the other leg, and we stood in my entry way with my legs wrapped around his body, our chests crushed together, his hands under my ass, and our mouths connected.
This time, he didn’t have to ask where my bedroom was. He walked us down the hall, never breaking our connection as he found my bedroom and tossed me onto my bed. He pulled at the button of my jeans and yanked them down my legs along with my panties, and then he stripped out of his khaki pants. He was a boxer-brief kind of guy, I discovered, and these were lime green with blue stripes.
He lowered them and I took in the beauty that was the surprisingly toned and perfectly sculpted Reed naked for the very first time.
A soft sigh escaped my lips. I’d seen a lot of men naked, and I’d been in this situation plenty of times, but something about a naked Reed standing in front of me set my lust on fire in a new way. It made me feel hungry and thirsty for things that food and water wouldn’t satisfy.
And in that moment, I realized that it was because I was falling for this guy.
Hard.
And speaking of hard…
Reed crawled up the bed and landed beside me, his thick cock pulsating against my hip. His fingers brushed against my ribs before skating down my skin to settle on my hip.
As I stared wordlessly into the depths of those blue eyes, I couldn’t help but think of the past and the future.
This night with Reed marked the first time I’d ever gone to bed with someone who I had serious feelings for before I slept with him. My feelings for men had historically developed after the fact. But as I looked at Reed, I thought about the future.
I laughed when I thought of Tyler as my forever, but the thought of Reed not being my forever nearly brought unshed tears to my eyes as it sent a stab of pain through my heart.
This thing between us had somehow moved into serious territory at a fast pace, and I truly believed it was because once you know, you just know.
He smiled tenderly at me, and it was an intimate and warm symbol that everything was just exactly as it should be.
The fingers resting on my hip started to dig into my soft flesh, and that was the signal that we were both ready for this to start. We both leaned forward until our lips met in the middle, and for maybe the first time in my life, a man was about to take me sweetly, gently, and lovingly.
Our kiss escalated from soft and sweet to hot and sizzling, but it didn’t take away from the fact that there was an actual connection between us, a level of caring and affection that expressed how much this meant to both of us.
His hand on my hip pushed down so that I was lying flat on my back, and then he shifted so that he hovered over me. He kissed me, and then his mouth traced a path down my chin, down my throat, finally landing on my neck while his fingers trailed down my skin until they found my pussy.
He hissed out a breath at the same time I did when he pushed one finger into me. My hips bucked automatically to meet the drive of his finger. Judging from the way his finger slid easily in and out of me, I was wet and ready for his big and beautiful cock.
I moaned loudly when he pressed another finger into me, my hands trailing down to find his waiting erection. He grunted softly when I grabbed him in my hand. He suddenly pulled his fingers from me and grabbed my hand, pulling it up above my head and holding it there.
“God, Quinn,” he said, and then he positioned himself and sunk into me.
I yelled out in ecstasy as my body pulled him in for the very first time, and he held still for a moment before he started a slow and steady rhythm.
He really knew what he was doing.
He wasn’t banging me.
He wasn’t screwing me.
He wasn’t fucking me.
He was making love to me.
I wrestled my hand free from his hold and ran both of my hands up the strong muscles in his back as he drove into me, pushing me higher and higher toward my shattering point.
His lips found mine again, and he kissed me intimately while he made love to me. He pulled his head back to gaze at me, and I opened my eyes to take in his beautiful face as he hovered above me. This moment was so much more than I could ever have imagined it would be.
My eyes roved over every feature of his perfection. The bliss emanating across his expression matched with those perfect thrusting drives pushed me into oblivion. I cried out as I splintered into the most blistering, scorching, powerful orgasm of my life. As my body pulsed with pleasure and clutched him inside of me, I watched as he fell apart above me. He yelled out my name on a rasping, sensual groan as his own forceful release reverberated through every part of his solid body.
He lowered himself, and his body covered mine for an erotic moment as we both lay panting. And that’s when the anxiety of being apart from him the past few days collided with the intense emotions I felt from what just happened between us.
Tears leaked silently from my eyes as we both regained our normal breathing, and then Reed shifted and disconnected from my body. He rolled onto his side with a soft grunt, and he threw his arm over my waist and snuggled into my side as all the emotions from the past week overwhelmed me.
He pressed a kiss to my neck. He must’ve glanced up and seen my expression, because he moved into my periphery, propping himself on his elbow and leaning up over me.
He silently wiped away a tear with his thumb, his eyes concerned as he watched me wordlessly.
I felt more naked and exposed as my raw emotions found their way out of my system than I did when I had been naked that first night he’d come to my place while he was still fully clothed.
But I felt comfortable showing this side of myself to Reed. I’d never been with a man who allowed me to just be myself. I didn’t have to put on my tough girl mask and pretend like everything was fine when it wasn’t.
“Sorry,” I whimpered, realizing for the first time how he might misinterpret my tears.
He just shook his head with a tiny smile. He bent to kiss my cheek, and when he resumed his position over me, his own eyes were shining with unshed tears.
I cupped his cheek like I had earlier in the cab, and he leaned into my hand and closed his eyes just like he had earlier.
