Faking Sweet

by J. C. Burke

  ‘Well,’ I began, ‘Don John has offered to pay Borachio to set Hero up and make her look bad. He wants Claudio and his half brother Don Pedro to think she’s having an affair with someone else. Then no one will want to marry her.’

  ‘That’s right,’ Gideon nodded. ‘Don John says to Borachio: “Only to despite them I will endeavour anything”, and for a fee of “a thousand ducats” Borachio will carry out Don John’s revenge. So Don John doesn’t care what happens to Hero or her reputation. He just wants revenge, and he knows Borachio can be bought. They make a wonderful couple. Who thinks Don John comes across as evil? Look at the language.’

  ‘It’s not just Don John who’s evil,’ I offered. ‘I mean, Don John wants the revenge, but Borachio’s happy to carry it out if there’s something in it for him.’

  ‘Borachio’s scum,’ Melissa added.

  ‘Very perceptive, girls. They’re both evil, for they don’t care that in the course of their plan a good woman’s reputation will be tainted. Let’s make a list of the ways reputations can be damaged today.’ Gideon waited at the white board. ‘Is it that different?’

  ‘Through the media,’ someone called out.

  ‘Rumours,’ offered another.

  Jess’s hand was madly waving. ‘Through lies,’ she announced. I almost fell off my chair. ‘Lies are the best way to ruin a reputation.’

  ‘Really?’ I muttered under my breath. ‘Do tell.’

  ‘When people lie, and I’m not talking about the media,’ she said, her skin turning a rosy shade of pink, ‘when friends lie, or rather supposed friends lie, about someone, that can ruin a reputation. Sometimes forever.’

  My jaw was on my lap. I swear you could’ve heard a cockroach fart. The whole class was dead silent. Even Mrs Gideon stood there looking useless. Jess had fooled them all. I wanted to bottle the atmosphere in the classroom and keep it in my pocket. One sniff of that bullcrap and I would have the strength and courage to follow Jess wherever she went, and plant any damn thing in that bag of hers. I had just witnessed the most astonishing example of dishonesty and hypocrisy. If there was ever a Don John it was her. Jess Flynn was evil. The amazing thing was that the only one who could see it was me, the new girl.

  I crossed my legs and shot up my hand. It was time to ruffle up the plastic impostor.

  ‘Yes, Holly?’

  ‘Many of us here could feel a connection to this bit of the play,’ I began carefully.

  ‘That’s exactly what I want you to try and do. Relate it to your own life,’ Gideon agreed. ‘That’s the clever thing about Shakespeare. His characters although written a long time ago can still remind us of people we know today.’

  ‘It could even be,’ I paused for effect, ‘ourselves.’

  ‘Absolutely.’ Gideon agreed. ‘That’s what great works can do: make us look within. Sometimes we see things we don’t want to see or, as I said before, we choose not to see. Surely you’ve all read a book and thought ooh, I don’t like this character, but somewhere in the back of your head you relate to them.’

  Gideon was off on her ‘I’m in love with William Shakespeare’ rave and I needed to bring her back to the issue of Jess Flynn.

  ‘So,’ I said loudly. Thoughts were charging through my head. This was my last opportunity to get it out. ‘There’s probably, I mean statistically let’s say, one of us here who’s maybe damaged someone’s reputation. I mean, I guess most of us would’ve lied about a person at some stage. Yeah?’

  I stopped for a second. Now the room was really, really silent. All I could hear was my heart pounding in my chest. I took a sideways glance at Jess, but she was busy twirling her ponytail around her finger. So I took a deep breath and said, ‘I mean, maybe there’s someone in this actual class who’s lied to protect their own reputation.’

  ‘So whose reputation have you damaged lately?’ Melissa called out.

  ‘Yeah?’ a few others followed.

  ‘I’m not saying I have, specifically,’ I replied. ‘I’m saying one of us in this room probably has.’

  ‘Like who?’ someone shouted.

  ‘Well, I don’t know,’ I shrugged. ‘I’m new, aren’t I?’

  ‘Okay, that’s enough, girls.’ Thank goodness Gideon intervened. ‘You’ve discovered the dark side of this act. That’s great, and you’ve related it to yourselves. But keep it in mind, because as we get further into the darkness of the play we come across it again and again.’ For a second she stood there staring at us before she said, ‘Not everything we hear about a person is true.’

  We all nodded in agreement.

  The bell rang but Mrs Gideon continued. ‘So the other side of that is: why do we choose to believe some things and not others?’

  Why? I could answer that in a second. Because we choose to believe the popular girls. The ones we want to be our friends. The ones that smile sweetly and say, ‘I didn’t do it.’

  Jess tapped me on the shoulder. I’d forgotten she was even there.

  ‘What?’ I snapped.

  ‘Oh, um, I just wanted to say thanks for being so patient with me.’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘You don’t have to be polite, Holly. I’m not stupid. I’m a crap reader. I mean I’m crap at doing, you know, stuff in front of people: acting, public speaking. Don’t ever ask me to go in a debate. I’d be the one spewing in the bathroom.’

  ‘I heard you were a champion debater?’ It just popped out.

  ‘Me?’ she laughed. ‘No way! I went in one once, and I swear never again! It was the worst experience of my life.’

  ‘Right,’ I nodded. So she had been in a debate before.

  ‘You’re not going to ask me to be in one, are you?’ Jess’s eyes were wide. ‘I seriously couldn’t do it, Holly.’

  ‘No. No.’ I picked up my books. ‘I was just wondering, that’s all.’

  I had to go to Ms Kalina’s office as finally I could get my phone back. Along the corridor, down the stairs and across the quadrangle a voice in my head whispered. I’m not exactly sure what it was saying ’cause it spoke so softly, but the words were something like, ‘She said she has debated before.’

  Jess only needed to have been in one debate for that fight to have occurred with her and Calypso. I mean, as if Calypso would’ve made it up? But it kept bugging me. So at lunch I locked myself in the last toilet cubicle and calmly sent Calypso a text.

  Jess hates debating.

  My hands were sweating. I wiped them across my uniform.

  She told me herself. P.S. I got my mobile back.

  I knew Calypso would go psycho that I’d even spoken to Jess, but I didn’t care. I needed to ask her this. I sat on the loo seat and waited for her reply while the ants began to crawl again. I scratched and pulled at my hair. Any minute now I’d have Calypso’s explanation and everything would be fine.

  Five hours later, as I was emptying my sambo scraps into the kitchen bin, my phone finally made a noise.

  ‘That’ll be Calypso,’ Mum yodelled from the couch.

  I tripped over the bin and bashed my knee on the cupboard as I lunged for my bag.

  ‘She’s not worth dying for,’ Mum added.

  ‘Shut up,’ I muttered, as I rummaged through my smelly sports uniform to find my phone.

  These were the words. The words I needed to see.

  After the debate with me she said she’d never debate again.

  So she only debated that once????

  Yeah that was against me. Y r u asking me this?

  U said she was debating champion. My thumb pressed hard on the keys.

  That’s what she told me. But she was lying. I’ll send u an email to explain. Don’t worry. Xoxoxoxox

  ‘How’s Captain Calypso?’ asked Mum.

  ‘Okay,’ I mumbled.

  ‘Don’t tell me you’ve had a lovers’ tiff?’

  ‘Stop saying that stuff, Mum,’ I snarled.

  ‘Well, sorry. It’s just that you don’t seem to breathe without asking Calypso’
s permission.’

  ‘Mum!’ She was really bugging me so I took the best line of attack and stood in front of the TV. ‘I thought you were happy I had a friend. It’s not my fault the only way we can talk is by phone. I didn’t ask to come to Sydney.’

  For once Mum was actually looking at me and not craning her neck to see the screen, which was what she usually did when I adopted this stance. ‘I just think it would be nice if you tried to make some friends in Sydney. What happened to that girl you had detention with?’ she said.

  ‘Mum, that girl is so not my friend. You have no idea what she’s like. Anyway,’ I snapped, ‘I’m only here for another fifty-seven days.’ I threw my bag over my shoulder. ‘And counting!’ I yelled behind me.

  I stormed down the hall and slammed my bedroom door. The pictures rattled on the wall. That was the best thing about rented houses; you didn’t care if the ugly prints fell and smashed on the floor. You could just go out and buy another ugly one, and no one would know the difference.

  From: baby_cal666@hotmail.com

  To: holly_hank21@hotmail.com

  Subject: Dream about Daydream!!

  Hol

  Guess what arrived in the post today? The brochures on Daydream Island. OH MY GOD IT IS DIVINE! We are going to have the BEST time ever, ever, ever. Do you know it’s less than 2 months till you’re back??? Which means it’s just over 2 months till we’re there. Can’t wait!

  Don’t worry about the Jess debating thing. I think you misunderstood me when I first told you about it. What I meant was that she fancied herself as a hot debater – which you can obviously just tell from English classes that she is not!!! It was a complete lie that she won the debating award, I thought I told you that.

  I guess there was so much I told you about Jess in the week before you left that I probably missed out bits. I reckon she told me she was a debating champion coz she was trying to cover up her embarrassment of being so totally hopeless and useless in the debate. To be honest I think I actually felt sorry for her when I found out she’d lied about getting the debating award. What a sad desperate I thought – am I a sucker or what!!!!

  So … anything else happen today??? My day was totally boresville. Okay honey, betta go. Got to study, mid-year exams start next week.

  Remember to follow Jess tomorrow and drop some little lollies in her bag. I bet you she eats them too. You’ll make a hot stalker! Go get her girlfriend.

  Big hug

  Cxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  Daydream Island – yee haa! I jumped on the bed singing, ‘We’re going to Daydream Island,’ to the tune of Ben Lee. ‘And that’s the way I like it. Just me and my best friend (plus the boring grandparents),’ I sang quickly. ‘And that’s the way I like it.’ Higher and higher I bounced, till I could almost touch the ceiling with my fingertips.

  Dear Me,

  Oh my God, I think I like Jase. I mean really like Jase. Why does life have to be so complicated??? Why do I have to like the guy one of my best friends likes??? Why can’t Saskia like Scott? Now that’d make my life simple!

  It was just Jase and me on the late bus this arvo. Very convenient that Scott had rugby training. It was so nice. We just talked and talked. He was really really staring at me today. I didn’t want to tell him the whole reason Saskia’s planning a gathering at her place on Saturday night is coz she wants to hook up with him again. I did my best to steer the convo away from the topic of Saskia. What am I going to do?

  I successfully humiliated myself in English today-for about the ten thousandth time this year. It wasn’t as bad as it usually was-it was worse.

  When Gideon was giving out the parts I said I had a sore tooth but it was obvious she didn’t believe me. But it’s true-I do. It’s been killing for a couple of days but if I tell Mum she’ll have to tell Dad and he’ll flip.

  At least it was Holly I did the scene with, not Melissa, who taps her foot and sighs loudly when I get stuck. Holly actually asked me if I used to be a debater! Where does she get these crazy ideas from? Sometimes she freaks me out. It’s like she’s watching me.

  English ended up getting pretty heavy coz we were talking about telling lies. I know it was naughty of me but I just couldn’t help having a little rave about supposed friends who lie about people. Everyone knew who I was referring to. I could just tell. But I had to say something or I would’ve looked bad.

  Holly had a bit of a rave too. She went on and on about ‘someone in this class has probably lied and ruined someone’s reputation …’It was pretty freaky that she happened to say that straight after my bit. The class was so quiet. I faked like I wasn’t listening and had to super concentrate on not going purple.

  Was that my karma? Is that what karma means? I so wish I could have my time over.

  If I didn’t know Calypso as well I did, I could get paranoid and think they were friends and she’d told Holly things about me. I asked Scott that on the phone tonight (I was feeling a bit guilty so I told Scott I’d only just found out that Holly actually knew Calypso) and he said exactly that. ‘You’re being paranoid Jess. As if Calypso and Holly were ever friends. They’re from different planets.’

  Even though he doesn’t know everything about Calypso-like he thinks he does-he’s probably still right. I just need to relax.

  Good night Me,

  Jess xxxxxxxx

  As soon as the home-time bell rang, I was first to the locker room. Down the corridors, across the quadrangle, out the gate and down the road, I made sure I was no more than eight steps behind Jess. Five steps was a bit too close, and at ten steps I risked losing her. Which I was not about to do.

  Just as Calypso predicted, the ‘it’ girls went into the newsagency and read magazines. Every one of them had their bag over their shoulder, open and grinning at me.

  ‘Oh my God,’ squealed Isabelle. ‘That bitch Chantalle from Emerton College has entered herself in the Dolly model search.’

  It sounded like stampeding buffalo as the ‘its’ ran to crowd around Isabelle. The comments came flying.

  ‘How up yourself can you get?’

  ‘She’s not that pretty.’

  ‘Acne or what?’

  ‘Check the fat thighs.’

  ‘She is so not going to win.’

  ‘I actually think she’s quite ugly.’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Me too.’

  ‘Yeah.’

  While the knives were out I slipped a Kit Kat, a packet of Extra and a Caramello Bear out of my pocket and into Jess’s bag. It was that easy, and I wasn’t breaking the law.

  Shoplifting just wasn’t me. Too chicken, a goodie goodie, whatever you want to think. But I’d like to think I’m a genius ’cause last night I discovered how I could get around that little problem.

  I was in bed (supposedly with the light off) but Calypso kept sending me the funniest texts. Before that we’d been on MSN for ages until Mum came in and said in her irritatingly calm voice, ‘I think you’ve been talking to Calypso long enough.’

  But in and out of our MSN convo and after each text Calypso would add, ‘lollies in the bag tomorrow’.

  I was stressing big time. How was I, someone who hadn’t even stolen a grape at the fruit shop, going to pull off the newsagency thing?

  That’s when my genius moment struck – Calypso didn’t say I had to steal the things. She just said I had to plant them in Jess’s bag.

  So before school I went to the newsagency and bought a Kit Kat, a packet of Extra and a Caramello Bear. Suddenly this planting thing wasn’t scary anymore. In fact it was so easy I did it every afternoon.

  Wednesday, I popped in a Crunchie; Thursday, some Fruit Bursts; and Friday, I slipped in a packet of Fantails and Maltesers one second before Jess turned around.

  ‘Holly?’ She smiled. ‘Hello.’

  ‘Hi,’ I said, throwing my arms behind me, doing a bad job of looking innocent.

  ‘What are you up to?’ she
grinned.

  ‘Me? Nothing.’

  She didn’t say anything back. She just stood there, the stupid grin still plastered all over her face.

  ‘C’mon,’ I heard Saskia mutter through her teeth. ‘Let’s go.’

  ‘Well,’ she shrugged. ‘Have a great weekend, Holly. See you Monday in English.’

  That afternoon as I emptied my sambo crusts into the kitchen bin something rolled out of my bag and along the floor. I picked up a little glass bottle filled with pinky-brown mixture and read, ‘Shine Free. Liquid Powder Foundation.’

  When I walked into English on Monday morning, Jess was waving me over to the chair next to her. I was not imagining it. I swear. She had even reserved the seat with her bag.

  ‘I saved a seat for you.’

  ‘It’s, um, okay.’ I squeezed out a smile. ‘I think I’ll sit by the window. I’ve got a bit of a headache.’ I fanned my face with my hands and added, ‘I need some air. After Melbourne, Sydney’s so hot; it’s totally stuffed my skin.’

  Oh my God, did I just say that? I scurried off to another desk and made a big show of opening the window as wide as it would go.

  ‘Did you …’ I turned around and found Jess standing there. ‘Did you get …?’

  ‘Sit down please, Jess.’ Mrs Gideon had arrived. ‘We have a lot to get through this morning. I want to discuss new assignments for Act Two and get started on Act Three. Holly, is there any reason why you have those windows wide open?’

  ‘It’s freezing,’ Melissa called. ‘What are you, an Eskimo?’

  Everyone started laughing. I closed the window, seeing my disgusting forehead in the reflection of the glass.

  ‘Now, it’s a shorter lesson today because we have chapel,’ said Mrs G.

  Grunts and groans all around.

  ‘Assuming you all had another look at Act Two over the weekend,’ Gideon said, as she handed out the new assignment sheets. ‘If you have a look there are a few options. You can get as creative as you like, especially with option B: family relationships.’

  ‘Excuse me, Mrs Gideon.’

  ‘Yes, Jess.’