Faking Sweet

by J. C. Burke

  ‘She said she had something for you.’ Mum started to take my uniform and shoes out of the cupboard. ‘It didn’t sound to me like she knew what had happened yesterday. Or, I should say, what almost happened.’

  I pictured Jess meeting me at my locker with a gun in her hand. Perhaps Calypso had informed her of our revenge plan. I knew it didn’t make sense when the revenge was actually directed at her, but then not a lot made sense anymore.

  ‘Jess would have no idea what’s been going on.’ Mum read my mind. ‘So don’t start stressing. It’ll be fine. I promise.’

  ‘Ohhh.’ I remembered. ‘I know she wants to give me something.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘She’s obsessed with, with …’ I felt embarrassed saying the next thing. Was it because of Jess’s kindness or my meanness?

  ‘With what?’

  ‘With my skin. My forehead.’ I swung my legs out of bed, then remembered the pact I’d made with myself and swiftly swung them back under the covers. ‘She says she’s got some stuff that’ll clear up my skin.’

  ‘Isn’t that nice of her?’ Mum replied. ‘You know why your skin breaks out? I figured it out last night. Stress.’

  ‘Stress?’

  ‘Whenever you go to a new school your skin breaks out for a while. So that’s a good thing to think about,’ Mum told me. ‘That won’t happen anymore.’

  ‘I don’t care what my skin looks like ’cause I’m never going out again. And when I say ‘out’ I mean even out of this bedroom, Mum.’

  ‘Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Get out of bed and into the shower. It’s over, right, over.’ Mum pulled the doona off me. ‘It sounds to me like this girl Jess likes you. You and Calypso are lucky no one’s been hurt.’

  No one’s been hurt? What about me? Early this morning I had recorded every lie Calypso told me. I had to. I had to see them for myself.

  Carefully I categorised them into small lies; sub-lies within small lies; big lies; and sub-lies within the big lies. The list took me almost an hour and every single teensy-weensy fabrication of the truth hurt. I know because I felt the pain go up and down with each one I recorded. There wasn’t just pain either. There was humiliation, anger, embarrassment and basically feeling like the most stupid, pathetic person ever to be put on earth.

  The list started with the little lies. The white lies. The ones that didn’t make sense, to me that is. I didn’t give those lies a pain score. They kind of blurred into insignificance once I got started on the big ones.

  Small Lie number 1: It was safe to sit up on the ledge outside the Science lab; no one had ever fallen off before.

  WRONG! A girl had fallen off there this year and broken both her arms.

  Sub-lie of Small Lie number 1: That’s right, Calypso forgot to mention that a girl had fallen off the ledge. But the girl was the stunt queen of the school!

  WRONG! It was Sarah Finch, a quiet, shy girl who had slipped off the ledge trying to save an injured pigeon.

  Small Lie number 2: Jess had won the debating award two years in a row.

  WRONG! Jess told me herself that she was terrified of and hopeless at debating and public speaking. She could barely read. I had witnessed that first hand as she stuffed up her lines in Much Ado.

  Sub-lie of Small Lie number 2: Jess went off at Calypso – accusing her of stealing her points in a debate they were in – and threatened her afterwards.

  WRONG! It’s obvious now that was a lie, and I can’t figure out why Calypso bothered telling it.

  Small Lie number 3: Jess’s dad was an orthodontist.

  WRONG! Jess’s dad is a builder. Why on earth did she tell me Jess’s father was a dentist???? That’s totally weird.

  Sub-lies of Small Lie number 3: Jess’s dad ruined Tiffany’s teeth.

  WRONG! Builders use slightly bigger drills.

  Jess’s teeth had been capped and bleached.

  WRONG! They certainly hadn’t. I could never figure out why some days they looked so white and some days they looked like everyone else’s. I guess she was like me—she just didn’t brush them every day. Or maybe it was all in my head. Whatever. It was WRONG! The only thing I can figure out is that Calypso didn’t like me mentioning that Jess had nice teeth.

  Then the lies started to get bigger. The only way to tell which were worse than others was by the pain they left behind.

  Big Lie number 1: Calypso won a trip to Daydream Island, and I was going with her and her grandparents. It was to be Calypso’s way of saying thanks for carrying out her revenge plan.

  WRONG! Calypso had not won a trip. Calypso didn’t even have grandparents.

  Pain score: pretty bad. Like stubbing your toe in the same spot over and over until the toenail is hanging off.

  Big Lie number 2: Calypso hated Miranda because of what she did to me – cheating with my boyfriend then stealing him.

  WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Calypso had obviously become friends with Miranda. Good friends.

  Sub-lies of Big Lie number 2: Calypso had texted me from Miranda’s mobile because they’d been doing a Biology assignment together.

  WRONG! It was so obvious now Calypso and Miranda had been planning their party.

  Calypso said the only reason she was having the party was because her parents wanted to cheer her up after I’d upset her. Biatch!

  WRONG! Her parents didn’t even know about the party. They were away.

  The party theme was her mum’s idea.

  WRONG! How could it be when her mum didn’t even know about the party?

  Pain score: probably a bit worse than removing your skin with a potato peeler.

  Big Lie number 3: Jess cheated with Scott and then became his girlfriend.

  OH, HOW WRONG CAN YOU GET? Jess and Scott are cousins.

  Calypso’s story about Jess having a thing for Scott, and then walking into her parents’ bedroom to find them rolling around on the floor, was about as wrong as anything could ever get.

  Pain score: equal to stubbing out cigarette butts on the soft skin of your arms.

  Big Lie number 4: Calypso and Jess shoplifted together. Calypso got caught and Jess said she didn’t know anything about it.

  WRONG! It was just another lie.

  Pain score: don’t really care about that one.

  Of course I showered, got dressed and ate my breakfast, although my stomach found it hard to accept anything. This was probably due to the fact that my heart was so swollen it was taking up most of the room inside me. Then I went to school like a good girl.

  As promised, Jess gave me a bottle of homeopathic face wash and instructed me to use it morning and night. ‘Try and get a bit of sun on your face,’ she added. ‘It’ll help dry up the spots.’ I fake smiled her, muttered a thank you and shoved her miracle cure into my bag. Then for the rest of the day I successfully avoided her.

  In fact I successfully avoided Jess for the next couple of days, which wasn’t that hard for a non ‘it’ girl. In fact, I had to work harder at avoiding Nadene ‘no-friends’, who seemed to be considering me as a new recruit.

  There was really only one thing, one enormous thing, occupying my head: Calypso. I still hadn’t spoken to her. I’d searched MSN for her. I’d tried her mobile. I’d even started to write her a letter with real paper and a pen. It didn’t go well. At 2.00 am, after the twenty-third draft had been thrown across the room, I gave up. How could I put into words what I didn’t understand?

  Over and over I read through Calypso’s lies, trying to work out why she’d told them; searching for some small clue. But there was none.

  The only lie that made sense was the one about her and Scott. Did she think that if she told me Jess had cheated with her boyfriend, just like Joe had cheated with Miranda, then I would carry out her revenge without questioning anything? Did she? Well, she was right.

  The last thing I thought of before I fell asleep and the first thing when I woke was what would’ve happened if I hadn’t taken the money out of Jess’s bag. The shame puls
ated in the pit of my stomach. I racked my brains trying to think of ways I could make it up to Jess. But there were none. Well, none that wouldn’t incriminate me. I couldn’t risk looking like a snivelling, sycophantic loser. A Borachio who could be bought. Because that’s exactly what I was.

  All week Mum picked me up. Perhaps she thought if she didn’t, I’d keep walking until I reached Melbourne and got some answers.

  On Friday, just four days after my life officially ended, I found Mum in the car line chatting away to another mother. That in itself was unusual.

  Then, when Mum put her arm around me and held me tight, like almost in a headlock, I became suspicious.

  ‘Holly.’ Mum’s grip tightened around my shoulder. ‘This is Mrs Flynn.’

  I caught my tummy at my knees, and somehow managed to breathe it back into position.

  ‘Hello,’ I squeaked, ‘Mrs Flynn.’

  I went to open the car door so I could hide and have a silent little spaz attack, but Mum began to lean against the door, squashing my arm against the handle. Okay. Obviously I had to stand there and listen like a good daughter. Perhaps Mum even expected me to participate in the conversation. I guess I could start with, ‘Oh, by the way, Mrs Flynn, did Mum tell you how I tried to set your daughter up as a thief a few days ago?’

  ‘Thank you so much,’ Mum was crowing. I’d never seen her so sociable. Well, not for ages. ‘I’m sorry I only called today.’

  My mother telephoned Mrs Flynn?

  ‘It was perfect timing, really,’ Mrs Flynn replied. ‘I just happened to be picking Jess up today.’

  ‘My husband tends to do things at short notice. Well, short notice for Holly and I, that is.’

  What on earth was going on?

  ‘You have to act quickly,’ Jess’s mum said. ‘It’s such a lovely house. I can’t believe it wasn’t snapped up at auction. My husband has worked on several heritage places in that street so he knows what to look for.’

  ‘He came highly recommended. It’s mostly the damp we’re worried about. It’s such an old house.’

  Now I understood. They were talking about the house Dad wanted to buy.

  ‘There’s my Jess.’ Mrs Flynn waved. ‘She’s always the last one out. Too much chatting.’

  Again I tried to open the car door. ‘Well, I guess we should go, Mum,’ I said in my chirpiest voice. Again, Mum leaned against my hand. Harder this time.

  ‘Hi, everyone,’ Jess sang, all teeth and hair and happiness.

  Mum said hello. I grunted.

  ‘Jess, I was just talking to Holly’s mum about Dad doing a building inspection for them. The lucky things have put an offer in on that beautiful house in Morwald Avenue.’

  ‘Oh!’ Jess gasped. ‘That’s my favourite house ever. Hey, does that mean you’re staying in Sydney, Hol?’

  Jess just called me Hol!

  ‘You’re not from Sydney?’ Mrs Flynn asked.

  ‘No.’ Jess was shaking her head. ‘Holly’s the girl I told you about. You know, the one from MLG?’

  ‘Ohhhh.’ Mrs Flynn was nodding. ‘I see. I didn’t realise.’

  ‘We’ve lived in just about every major city in Australia,’ Mum replied. ‘Finally we might be settling down.’

  ‘I hate to sound like a gossip.’ Mrs Flynn leaned in closer. ‘But Jess told me you knew that atrocious girl Calypso MacIntosh. We had some terrible episodes with her.’

  The shame burnt within my body. My cheeks were so hot you could’ve had a sausage sizzle on them. I wanted to run and hide. I wanted to smash the car window, climb in and drive away. But Mum was treading on my foot and words were spilling from her mouth.

  ‘Oh yes, Calypso. Holly was friends with Calypso.’

  Jess and her mother exchanged a glance.

  ‘Oh, they’re not friends anymore.’ Mum nudged me. ‘Are you, Holly?’

  I shook my head.

  ‘Well.’ Mrs Flynn jingled her keys. The conversation had come to a crashing halt. ‘My husband will see you tomorrow at Morwald Avenue, 11.00 am.’

  ‘Great.’ At last Mum lifted her fat bum off the car door. I almost knocked her over as I dived onto the front seat.

  I waited until we were out the school gates before I spoke. ‘What was that all about, Mum?’

  ‘Bill Flynn’s doing a building inspection of –’

  ‘I figured that,’ I snapped. ‘But why him, huh?’

  ‘Because he specialises in old houses,’ Mum snapped back. ‘The estate agent recommended him. Not everything’s about you, Holly. It’s a simple coincidence. No need to get paranoid.’

  ‘I’m not paranoid.’

  ‘You sound like you are.’

  I wanted to get mad and yell, ‘Do you know how it feels being me?’ But I didn’t ’cause there was something more pressing I wanted to say. ‘Mum, do you think the “terrible episode” was the shoplifting thing?’

  ‘She said episodes, didn’t she?’

  ‘Oh yeah.’

  ‘Why don’t you ask Jess?’

  ‘No way!’

  ‘Why not?’ Mum said. ‘She knows you knew Calypso. Now she knows you used to be friends with Calypso. You just told her.’

  ‘No. YOU just told her.’

  ‘Well, I can’t see the harm in it. Calypso’s never going to come clean.’

  ‘Holly, I insist you come.’ Dad was making me go to the building inspection with them. ‘It’s your new house!’

  ‘I don’t want to,’ I answered through a mouthful of peanut butter toast that Mum was forcing me to eat.

  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to check it out. It was that I was scared Jess might come along with her dad. But then, as if. She was an ‘it’ girl. Jess’d have a thousand more interesting things to do on a Saturday morning.

  Half an hour before, I’d been lying on the couch on my own watching Video Hits. Now all hell had broken loose in the house of freaks and I wanted to be left alone.

  My mother was standing in front of the TV refusing to move until I’d eaten something. That was my tactic.

  My father was pacing around the room wearing a t-shirt that said I LOVE SYDNEY and demanding that I get off the couch and get changed. I considered saying, ‘I’ll get changed if you get changed’, but I didn’t. Dad did seem kind of excited, and so did Mum. This morning she didn’t watch any The Price is Right reruns. Instead she went through house mags with Dad.

  ‘Right.’ Dad switched off the TV then did the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen: he put his arm around my mother and kissed her on the lips. ‘I heard you’re not feeling too good because you’ve had a falling out with your friend in Melbourne …’

  ‘“A falling out!”’ I screeched. ‘A falling out? Is that how Mum described it? How about, my life is over, ruined!’

  ‘Holly, don’t be so dramatic.’

  Why was he patting my mother’s shoulder when I was the one in pain?

  ‘But just think of it sensibly, Holly. You can make a whole new life in Sydney. Now get dressed into something reasonable, please.’

  ‘I hate my life,’ I yelled, as I stomped to my bedroom. ‘It’s so boring.’

  ‘Only boring people have boring lives,’ Dad called out.

  ‘Well, you’d know,’ I replied. But I didn’t slam the door.

  Just before I got dressed I checked my emails. There was nothing. Six days since the ‘planting’ and still not a word.

  The welcoming party I was afraid of was waiting for us at the front door. The estate agent, the builder, and the builder’s daughter Jess. Now I wished her dad had been a dentist.

  ‘Let’s go upstairs,’ Jess suggested. ‘I’ve been dying to check this place out. You’re so lucky.’

  Hmm, I wonder why I didn’t feel lucky?

  ‘Which one will be your bedroom?’ Jess was darting in and out of the doorways. I watched her like I’d watch a stranger. All this time I’d thought Jess Flynn was something else, and now I knew she wasn’t; it was like I didn’t know her at all. ‘H
ey, wouldn’t this be a great party house? Now you’re staying in Sydney you should come out and meet everyone.’

  ‘Hi, girls.’ Mr Flynn walked past with a ladder. Suddenly I had a déjà vu.

  ‘I’m, I’m sure …’ There was a thought trying to land in my head. ‘I’m sure I’ve seen your dad before,’ I said.

  ‘Probably at school,’ Jess replied. ‘He does some repairs there.’

  The thought landed with a thud. The three ‘it’ girls squealing, ‘Hi, Daddy.’

  I’d thought they were flirting. They weren’t. They were just saying hi to Jess’s dad.

  I walked onto the veranda. It was too hard being in the same room with Jess. Of course she followed.

  ‘Do you remember meeting my cousin, Scott?’ Jess asked me. ‘At Spotti that time?’

  ‘Did I?’ I lied. ‘I can’t remember.’

  ‘He remembers.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘Yeah.’ She lowered her voice. ‘I told him you went to the same school as Calypso.’

  ‘Right.’

  Jess leant against the railing, lifting herself up and down on her toes. She didn’t say any more, and I didn’t know how to fill the silence.

  ‘Hmmm,’ Jess sighed.

  ‘Hmmm,’ I sighed too.

  ‘Um, Hol, did you know I was like almost best friends with Calypso once?’

  I shrugged.

  ‘Then things started to go wrong.’

  ‘Oh?’ I’d almost stopped breathing.

  ‘She got the major, major hots for Scott, and would not take “no” for an answer. That’s one of the things Mum was referring to yesterday.’ Jess looked at me for a minute before saying, ‘Did you know Calypso was a bit … unbalanced?’

  ‘Sort of,’ I gulped.

  ‘Well, she is. She’s very unbalanced,’ Jess told me. ‘Calypso got it into her head that Scott liked her, and he didn’t. He’s not a player either. He’s not the type to lead a girl on. Besides, Calypso was way too loud for Scott. Anyway, she wouldn’t accept that he didn’t like her. First she just started writing him notes, texting him and stuff. Then when that didn’t work she started ringing his house. Like maybe twenty times on a Saturday. Then a couple of times she turned up at his house.’ Jess’s voice dropped to a whisper. ‘I’m the only one that knows this … but once he woke up and she was standing in his bedroom.’