Lily, Unleashed

by Douglas Cobb

  "Then let's try this bad boy out, girl fri-end!" I said, and watched as she flew it first into the kitchen, where it stung her Mom on her arm, and then into the front yard, where her Dad was trimming the hedges. She got him on his neck. We could hear their yelps of pain and watch them swatting, but missing, The Stinger.

  Then came the big test for The Stinger, because even though it was souped up, I wasn't positive it would make it all the way to Eternity On Your Thighs. Also, I wasn't sure that, even if it could make it there, Dexter and Nicole would be there and not at one of their restaurants.

  Celeste flew The Stinger like a champion gamer. She had to dodge the attempts of several birds from swooping towards it and snatching it up in their beaks, but by using the miniature nanocameras that were the eyes of the wasp Celeste evaded them and kept on flying ever closer to the bakery.

  She maneuvered The Stinger until she was near enough to the door of the bakery that she was easily able to enter when a customer showed up, and that is what she did. Nicole felt the sting of The Stinger first, as she was at the counter. She said: "Ouch! It's early for wasps to start showing up--or late!"

  "I'm so sorry," her customer, a regular, Mrs. Higgins said. Yes, it was the same Mrs. Higgins who "owned" Lucy Marmoset Higgins. "I must have let the wasp in when I came in the door."

  "That's okay; it wasn't your fault," Nicole replied.

  "I would like to pick up the cake I ordered for my block party later tonight," she said. "I was going to have Celeste take care of my dog, Lucy, while the party was going on, but I don't seem to be able to find her anywhere. She must have gotten away. I hope she doesn't get lost, or picked up by a stranger."

  "Here's your cake, Mrs. Higgins," Nicole said, and presented her with the bill. "I'm sure that Lucy will turn up soon."

  If I could do anything about it, she would, I thought. Celeste flew The Stinger into the kitchen area of the bakery, where the ovens were, and we saw Dexter taking a tray of cookies out of one of the ovens. As he placed it upon the counter, she flew the wasp and stung him on his left hand. He yelled and jerked his hand in pain, rubbing the back of it with his other hand. Mission accomplished, Celeste then flew The Stinger back home and through an open window.

  Clare came into the living room from the kitchen. "Celeste, your cheese pizza is ready if you want it now," she said. Her skin had already had enough time to change to the exact same shade of grey as the aliens. She definitely knew what she was doing when it came to inventing temporary full-body tattoos.

  After Celeste snarfed down her pizza and I ate my own supper from my bejeweled bowl, we proceeded to the second stage of my over-all plan: saving Lucy and Alphonse. To do this, we had to convince the Greys that it was just not worth their while to make the entire city of Centralia their personal vacation destination or HQ of choice.

  "Celeste, Fuzzy," I said to them both when we rejoined Fuzzy Wally MacGee in Celeste's bedroom, "In the tradition of the best diplomats, we're going to make 'friends' with a couple of the Greys to get back our friends, Lucy and Prince Alphonse Saed."

  "Yay! I like 'friends'!" Fuzzy Wally MacGee exclaimed. Maybe they can become members of PAWS, too!"

  "I don't think she really means 'friends,' Fuzzy," Celeste said. "I believe she means we will just pretend to be their friends."

  "Yay! I like to pretend!" he said.

  "Hmm...yes..." I muttered. "This means we must once again find the alternate versions of Lucy and Alphonse, B-Lucy and B-Alphonse, and transport them to our underground CHASE complex where we can--um--negotiate further with them. Don't worry; any potential danger to us should be minimal at most."

  "I wasn't worrying, Lily, until you mentioned 'danger'," Fuzzy said. "But, Blue C and Balphonse are our new friends, right? That's what you said--I pay close attention, I do! And, they couldn't harm us much, anyway--they're both recovering from ski injuries!"

  "Yes...well..." I said. "Let's get to the backyard, and scan the neighborhood from the sky, so we can spot our quarry better!" I said.

  "Quarry?" Fuzzy asked. "Won't taking time to find a rock quarry take too much time away from finding our new friends?"

  "Quarry, in this case," Celeste told Fuzzy, "is just another word for the Greys we're searching for. Let's continue this conversation on the wing, outside."

  "Must we?" I asked.

  From the sky, the world below seemed to be a much greyer place. In a way, that made it more difficult to spot Blue C and Balphonse, kind of like trying to search for Waldo but from above, where you could only see his head.

  "There they are, just below us!" Fuzzy cried.

  "Those are just elephants at the Centralia City Zoo, Fuzzy," Celeste said.

  We flew onwards, and a couple of miles later, Celeste saw them standing by the doors of the airport. "Drop down and land, Lily, before we're mistaken for a UFO ourselves!" she said. "Blue C and Balphonse appear to be handing out flowers to people entering the airport, for some reason!" she continued.

  "Whatever you do, Fuzzy and Celeste, don't take any flowers they offer you!" I emphatically said.

  "Why not?" Fuzzy asked. "Fuzzy likes perty flowers!"

  "Because, unless I'm very much mistaken, Fuzzy, breathing in the scent of those 'perty flowers' is what causes the bodies of people to be taken over by the Greys!" I shouted.

  "Is that what people meant in the 1960's when they said 'Flower Power'?" Fuzzy asked.

  "Where have you ever heard that expression Fuzzy?" I asked. "But, no, that is not at all what they meant. The flowers the Greys are handing out, they use to convert people to their cause, and become Greys, themselves. The flowers, no doubt, come from their home planet."

  "AY! OUR GOOD FRIENDS LILY, CELESTE, AND FUZZY WUZZY BUMBLEBEE ARE HERE!" B-Alphonse said. "WANT A FLOWER? THEY'LL CHANGE YOUR WHOLE ATTITUDE ON LIFE!"

  "Yes, I'll take one, please!" Fuzzy said, "But you have my name slightly wrong, Fonz--it's not 'Fuzzy Wuzzy Bumblebee,' though that's a nice name, but it's Fuzzy Wally MacGee!"

  "No, he doesn't want a flower!" I roared angrily. Then, I used my pyrokinetic mental powers (set on Low) to burn the flowers into a small pile of ashes.

  "YOUCH!" both B-Lucy and Balphonse said.

  "Aw, now I can't have a perty flower!" Fuzzy said. "Why'd you burn the perty flowers, Lily? Why? Was that really necessary?"

  "NO, NOT NECESSARY AT ALL!" Blue C answered. "I THINK YOU PUT A BLISTER ON MY HAND--ER--PAW!"

  "MINE, TOO! DITTO!" B-Alphonse said. "I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO PLAY MY ACCORDION EVER AGAIN!"

  "Don't you mean flute?" Celeste asked.

  "YES, FLUTE! THAT IS WHAT I BE SAYING--WHY YOU NOT BE LISTENING?"

  "Forgive me for arguing with you, Alphonse," Fuzzy Wally MacGee said, "but I'm sure you said 'accordion'. It's a fine musical instrument, that goes SQUAWKY, SQUAWK very beautifully! That's what I would play, if my chest fur didn't keep getting caught in it!"

  "HE SAID 'FLUTE'." Blucy said. "I DO NOT KNOW WHY YOU HAVE ACCORDIONS ON YOUR MIND, SENOR BUMBLEBEE. DONDE ESTA MAS FLORES, AMIGO?"

  Fuzzy's Language Translator immediately spoke, saying that "senor" meant "sir" and that "Donde esta mas flores, amigo?" meant "Where are more flowers, friend?"

  "My name is not 'senor Bumblebee! It's Fuzzy Wally MacGee! But, that's okay; sometimes I forget things too...as to where more flowers are--"

  "Friends, what Fuzzy Wuzzy--er--Fuzzy Wally MacGee is trying to say is if you just climb on my back, I'll fly you to fields and fields of more of your lovely grey flowers! Just hop on board, and fly the friendly skies--there will be no in-flight movies, though...." I said.

  "But, that's not what I was--" Fuzzy began, but his protestations were muffled when Celeste clapped her hand over his mouth.

  "LET US GET ONBOARD, THEN!" Balphonse said, levitating and gliding over to my back in a most un-Alphonse sort of way.

  "YES, BUT GORGA--LUCY, I MEAN--LIKES IN-FLIGHT MOVIES! I SUPPOSE YOU GETS WHAT YOU PAYS FOR, THOUGH!" she said, also levitating and positioning herself on
my back. Celeste and Fuzzy Wally MacGee joined the two Greys there, and we took off at a low altitude until we got far enough away from the airport to fly higher. We headed towards CHASE, though on the way, Fuzzy and Celeste kept talking to the Greys about different types of flowers.

  "Do you also like lilacs, or roses, or daffodils?"Celeste asked them.

  "UM, UM...PRETTY, BUT NOT SPECIAL LIKE OUR GREY ONES!" Balphonse said.

  "Fuzzy likes dandelions, chrsanthe-chrysanthe-mums, sunflowers, and germany-mums!" Fuzzy said. "You likes them, too?"

  "BLECH!" B-Lucy said, sounding disgusted. "THEY'RE ALL OKAY, EXCEPT NOT GERANIUMS! THEY MAKE THE GREY GO AWAY!--I MEAN, I'M HIGHLY ALLERGIC TO THEM! THAT'S THE TICKET--ALLERGIC!"

  "It's a good thing I said 'germany-mums' then, instead of 'geraniums'!" Fuzzy exclaimed.

  "Celeste, do you have some of your allowance with you?" I asked. "Enough to make a minor purchase at Feldspar's Flower Shop on our way, for instance?"

  "Why, yes, Lily; I believe I do!" Celeste said.

  "FELDSPAR'S FLOWER SHOP?" B-Lucy asked. "IS THAT WERE MORE GREY FLOWERS ARE?"

  "No," I said. "Celeste, Fuzzy, and I just would like to give our friends a little present is all!"

  "NOT GERANIUMS, RIGHT?" Balphonse asked.

  "Of course not!" I said. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, I thought. Well, if so, he has it coming to him. Hmm...I might not have to resort to anything like kidnaping, after all, if the Greys still continued to cooperate with their "friends."At Feldspar's Florist Shop, Celeste went inside and came out with a bouquet of a dozen pink geraniums, though I told the Greys that they were a new variety of chrysanthemums. They seemed happy with their gift, but still wanted to see the fields of grey flowers, as well. I said we'd have to put it off until tomorrow, because Celeste needed to get home to do her homework.

  As the fragrance wafted to their noses, B-Lucy and B-Alphonse started to become less grey, and became more colorful, like their old selves.

  "How'd--how'd we get on your back in the middle of the air?" Fonzie said, now entirely himself once again.

  "Ooooh, ooooh, ooooh!" Lucy said. "Yes, Lily--explain yourself--I was in my back yard, when I suddenly started to not feel like myself, and then I woke up on your back--explain that!"

  "Just look below us, and you'll see exactly what happened to you!" I said. "It was the work of aliens--specifically, the Greys! They are trying to muscle in on the Evil Market, apparently, that before was primarily controlled by the Scarlet SNURFLES!

  "Fortunately, Celeste and Fuzzy discovered that geraniums counteract the influence of the grey flowers they brought from their home planet that they use to spread and take over entire cities and planets, and breathing in their scent transformed you back into your true selves! Now, all we have to do is buy all of the geraniums we can, and hang baskets of them all around the city!"

  The next day, we put Project City Beautiful to work. I'd ordered online truckloads of geraniums to be delivered to the businesses and stores throughout Centralia, and arranged for baskets of them to be hung up in front of each house, as well. Just doing my part to "Go Green" and spread some much-needed color throughout our fair city!

  The Greys didn't know what hit them. When their leaders eventually saw geraniums in front of every business, shop, and house in Centralia, they realized they were beaten, and took off in their Mother Ship.

  "Hmmm...." Triple Q said when we returned home, looking up from his newspaper. "It says here something about the Scarlet Party are claiming a victory over the Greys. They are taking responsibility for driving the Grey aliens from our city of Centralia. And I didn't even know there was such a thing as aliens....or, for that matter, a Scarlet Party.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Fourteen Reasons Why

  February 2nd came and passed without repeating itself. No groundhog saw its shadow. It was Black History Month once again. Today was the third, and an ice storm was expected tonight, but, other than that, February had started off without anything earth-shattering happening. But, still, February held a special place in my heart, for it was both when Valentine's Day was on the 14th, and on February 11th, it would be Celeste's 14th birthday.

  I was planning on giving her a surprise birthday party, and inviting all of her friends. Besides Denise, there was Rachel, Frieda, Loren, Christine, and Kayla. Then, Dexter and Nicole would also be there, at least for part of the evening. They always (well, since Eternity On Your Thighs had opened two year ago, anyway) had made Celeste her birthday cake: chocolate with chocolate frosting--one can never have too much chocolate!

  What would I get Celeste for her birthday? There weren't many days left. I had narrowed down the ideas to three--maybe I'd get her all three, just to make my decision easier! I doubt Celeste would mind getting more than one birthday present--like chocolate, one can never have too many presents!

  It was time for me to log onto the Internet, check my e-mail, and do a little surfing via my mouse. Besides her birthday gifts, I needed to shop for Valentine's Day gifts for her, the rest of the Quinces, and Fuzzy, Lucy, and Alphonse.

  Why are hearts, chocolate, Cupids, and the color red associated with Valentine's Day? I was suspicious enough of anything and anyone that had anything to do with the colors scarlet or red, and here was an entire holiday built around those colors. If I was paranoid, I might just start believing that there was a conspiracy going on, and that the SNURFLES were behind Valentine's Day. But, that would be silly--Valentine's Day existed long before there ever were any SNURFLES! But, of course, the SNURFLES could very well make use of an already existing holiday for their own nefarious purposes, couldn't they? It was indeed food for thought, food that was steadily giving me indigestion.

  Then, there was the fact that I and Celeste had heard Triple Q reading from the newspaper about a new political party called the Scarlet Party that had formed, apparently overnight, and were gaining in popularity. They claimed they had kicked the Greys out of the city, instead of myself and PAWS. I had no doubt that The Scarlet One himself, Frankie Sinister, was behind the formation of the Scarlet Party. He probably wanted to discredit PAWS, and maybe worse--make being a member of PAWS illegal.

  How could I plan Celeste's birthday party, and a Valentine's Day Party, when I was worried about an entirely different sort of party, the Scarlet Party? I was a party animal, but even I had limits. If only I could be off the leash, totally free to act with abandon.

  Power didn't drive Frankie crazy; for him, it was more like a short putt than a drive. He was already almost all the way there, possibly cracked before he even came out of the egg. Politics, though, would probably make his craziness even worse. Fortunately, I was not egotistical like Frankie, nor power-hungry--though, if I ran against him, I was positive I could kick his scrawny bird butt all over the place and beat him like a drum!

  I had the T.V. on to watch the weather forecast and see when the ice storm was expected to arrive. A news story came on about the upcoming mayoral election, which would take place on Valentine's Day. There were several fine candidates shown running for the office, and then there was--Frankie Sinister! As much as I would like to run against him, and beat him, though, I couldn't--I was devoted to being the leader of PAWS and fighting crime, plus I had two par-tays to plan, yo! But, I could back an alternative candidate: Fuzzy Wally MacGee! I, Celeste, Lucy, and Alphonse could be his supporters. With our help, and his natural good looks and charisma, how could he lose? Yes, we were drastically short of time; yes, we had to play a game of catch-up; yes, Fuzzy Wally MacGee lacked experience--but, he was a people person--er--rhino, and I was confident he'd get the youth vote. He was photogenic, and babies liked it when he kissed them.

  Dexter and Nicole could get into the action, too. Who could resist yummy Fuzzy Chocolate Cupcakes? Well, maybe that's not the best name for them, but the point is, Dexter and Nicole's baked treats could help push this election in my--um--Fuzzy's--favor. All that I had to do to ensure a victory for the new PAWS Party was to inf
orm the candidate that he was a--um--candidate.

  Once Frankie hears that his opponent is none other than Fuzzy Wally MacGee, he might just give up right then and there. It was an intimidating prospect...at least, if Fuzzy Wally MacGee could be kept on script, that is, not say anything that could be construed as being silly in the least. I quickly headed to the "doggy" door, filled with plans. Fuzzy, I was sure, would be the ideal candidate, and jump at the chance to run for the office of mayor!

  ****

  The next morning, I and Triple Q made a trip in his Mustang to file the necessary papers for Fuzzy Wally MacGee to run for the office of mayor of Centralia. I could picture the headlines in my mind: "Mayor MacGee Wins In A Landslide!" Yes, he likely would be more at home rolling around in a mud bog, but I considered him to be a diamond in the rough. Very rough, but he just needed to have some of the edges smoothed off--perhaps with a rotary sander.

  Then, while Celeste was at school, I, Fuzzy Wally MacGee, Lucy Marmoset Higgins, and Prince Alphonse Saed made campaign signs for Fuzzy, with his smiling, tongue-lolling, bug-eyed mug plastered in the middle of each of them. They had various campaign slogans on them, like: "Run With The Rhino!" "Vote For The Red, White, and Blue, and the Fuzzy!" and "This Is A Face You Can Trust!" We vowed to get the vote out, and make the public aware of their latest and best choice to become Centralia's new mayor. We went door-to-door, knocking on them and handing brochures to the prospective voters, with Quentin acting as mine and Fuzzy's mouthpiece.

  Many of them acted quite surprised for some odd reason to see us at their doors, and went running and screaming to their "safe rooms" and warning us that a "911" call had automatically been sent to the Centralia Police Department, without even taking their brochures or listening to Fuzzy's campaign platform about the "dangers of strangers." We marked the voters in those houses down as "Maybes." They just took the notion of the dangerousness of strangers a tiny bit more seriously than some of the other potential voters we talked with, that's all.