Cowboy SEAL Redemption

by Nicole Helm

  He wished he’d taken her no-strings offer now, because the impending week—or two, as Mom had been delightfully vague—felt like nothing but a black, torturous cloud.

  There was a knock at the bathroom door. “Uh, I think they’re here,” Gabe called.

  Jack swallowed and leaned forward in the sink, washing the excess shaving cream off his face. Maybe the cold of the water would kick him into some kind of functioning gear. He dried off his face, pulled on the shirt he’d picked out, and felt like a zombie walking through life short on brains.

  Stepping out of the bathroom, he forced himself to smile blandly at Gabe. “Thanks.”

  “I think Becca’s got Rasputin ready to attack if anything goes bad.”

  Jack managed a weak chuckle at the mention of Becca’s mean-ass rooster that wouldn’t die. “Great. Attack chicken at the ready.” He ran his hand over his alarmingly short hair and forced himself to breathe naturally. Like any other mission, he just had to focus on getting the breath to come in and out, not on the task ahead.

  Gabe clapped him on the shoulder. “You know we got your back.”

  Jack nodded. He did know that, but unfortunately, none of his friends could do this for him. No one could.

  He put one foot in front of the other and left the bunkhouse. It seemed wrong for the ranch to look the way it usually did. It seemed wrong for the sky to be a bright, cloudless blue and the mountains in the distance to sparkle like magic.

  He’d prefer a gray, drizzly sky with plenty of mud to maneuver around. The bracing chill of a Montana spring or whatever a Montana winter would bring. He wanted anything other than to have this pretty summer day tainted by…

  The RV Dad must have rented chugged up the drive and came to a stop. Jack hadn’t realized he’d started to backpedal until he felt Gabe’s hand on his shoulder.

  “Only way out is through,” Gabe muttered.

  Which was true. Unfortunate, but true.

  The door to the RV swung open. When Mom came into view, it wasn’t so hard to move forward anymore. She stepped down from the RV looking exactly as she looked in all his memories. Seeing her short, curly, dark hair, perfectly made-up face, and pleasant smile—which was almost always on it—was like stepping back in time.

  She turned to grin at him and came hurrying across the yard as he strode toward her. He didn’t even bother with a greeting. He just leaned down and pulled her into a hard hug. She smelled like his childhood—she’d worn the same perfume since he was born—and it took about every last thing he had not to cry like a kid right then.

  “My, you’re barely even limping,” she said, muffled into his shoulder as she squeezed him back tightly. “They got you fixed up all right, and just look at all this.” Mom pulled back and gestured toward the mountains. “My goodness.”

  “It is that.”

  She reached up and touched his face. “Oh, I’ve missed you, sweetheart.”

  “I’ve missed you too, Mom.”

  She sniffled and looked away, straightening herself as she waved Dad over. Jack held out his hand for his father to shake. It was how they’d greeted each other since he’d turned thirteen. Even in the hospital, Dad had gone for the handshake greeting, no matter that Jack had seen tears in Dad’s eyes for the first time since his great-grandmother’s funeral—making that twice altogether.

  Dad took Jack’s hand and squeezed, shaking once before pulling him into a hard, quick hug.

  And that about brought Jack to his knees, but they both released each other, cleared their throats, and exchanged rough-sounding greetings.

  “Looking well, boy.”

  “You too, Dad.”

  His sister was the next one out of the RV. Vivian bolted toward him, launching herself at him with a wild abandon he’d always envied about her. “Jacky.” He caught her even though his leg threatened to buckle. His impetuous, somehow grown woman of a baby sister.

  “I’m not hurting you, am I?” she asked, holding on for dear life.

  “As if,” he scoffed, giving her a little twirl before he placed her on the ground.

  She flashed him a grin. “My God, this place is fantastic.”

  “It is. You’re going to love every last thing about it, I have no doubt.”

  As the next person climbed down the stairs, a horrible, awkward silence descended, everyone’s smiles going strained. Except Vivian. She scowled.

  God bless her.

  Mike stepped out of the RV, not looking at the assembled crowd. Instead, he looked back to help Madison down, since she had both arms full of kid.

  Jack made half-assed introductions to Gabe, who cheerfully greeted all of them with his usual easy facade, but Jack’s chest felt like it was in a vise. He didn’t know how to do this.

  You do it the Armstrong way. Pretend everything is fine and normal.

  He tried to smile, but he knew it didn’t actually move his mouth. If anything showed at all, it was a grimace.

  “Mike. Madison.” He managed to greet them as they approached. He didn’t make a move to shake hands or hug, and thank Christ, neither did they. Jack looked at the tow-headed one-and-a-half-year-old in Madison’s arms. “And this must be…Croy.” Yeah. They’d named the poor kid Croy of all things.

  Madison smiled up at him, and he tried to tell himself this woman was a stranger. Just like the Jack he’d been a million years ago was a stranger, this woman was not the girl he’d once loved and been so certain he’d spend the rest of his life with.

  Except she looked exactly the same. Dark-blond hair, bright-blue eyes, and fair skin that freckled in the summer no matter how much sunscreen she put on. He’d seen her naked, told her he loved her, and promised her forever.

  And she was holding his brother’s child.

  “Croy,” Madison said to the little boy, her voice the same sweet thing he remembered from his youth. “This is your uncle Jack.”

  The little boy, who looked like every childhood picture he’d ever seen of Mike and himself, merely blinked in Jack’s direction.

  Jack turned away. Away from some weird, warped version of his lost future, away from the two people who’d hurt him the most in the world, and toward his parents.

  “Are you up for a tour?” he asked, his forced cheer failing so hard, he thought he saw Vivian and Gabe cringe.

  “Yes, that sounds lovely,” Mom said overly brightly, hooking her arm with his.

  Jack didn’t look back to see if Mike or Madison followed. He couldn’t. He could barely breathe through this, because he’d known seeing them would suck. And it did, but he hadn’t considered the worst of it. That now there would be memories of them together in this place that had been his sanctuary.

  The only reason he was able to breathe through that horrible realization was his mother next to him, chattering on about their drive.

  * * *

  Rose had no idea how Gabe had gotten her phone number, but it was hard to be pissed about it when she read the message.

  This is Gabe. Jack’s family is here. If you’ve got a few mins to play girlfriend, now might be a good time.

  Why he thought she would help matters was beyond Rose, but the fact that it was Gabe asking, when he’d been so untrustingly opposed not so many days ago, made Rose feel like it was important. Important enough to do something she hadn’t done once since she’d taken control of Pioneer Spirit.

  “If anything goes wrong—”

  “Rose, I know you mean well, and trust me, I get this is a big deal for you. But, sweetheart, I know how to open the bar on a Thursday afternoon,” Tonya said, crossing her arms over her chest.

  Rose nodded, not sure if her nerves were more over what she looked like, what she was about to go do, or that she was trusting someone else to open her bar.

  All three. Definitely all three.

  “I didn’t realize you w
ere going to be in a play though,” Tonya said slyly.

  Rose scowled at one of the few employees she trusted and one of the few employees she wouldn’t snap at for a comment like that. Even if it was true, because she was definitely dressed to play a part. “If Ginny doesn’t show up for her shift, you call me. If the delivery doesn’t come through, you call me. If anything, and I mean anything goes wrong—”

  “I call you. I got it. You can trust me.”

  God, but it wasn’t easy. Still, she forced herself to smile at Tonya. “I know I can.” Then she did it. She handed her spare key to someone else.

  “I’ll give it back when you get back,” Tonya assured.

  Rose shook her head, and no matter how it made her stomach churn, she did what she knew she should have done a while ago. “Keep it. You’re my right-hand man. You should have a key.”

  Tonya raised her eyebrows, but she didn’t say anything else as she slipped the key into her pocket.

  “I’ll be back,” Rose muttered before heading out the back exit.

  Everything about today was screwy, and she wanted it to be over now. Now. But the only way to make it over was to do it, so she got in her car and drove to Revival Ranch.

  The pretty scenery of the drive did nothing to calm her, and it was so irritating to be nervous, to be worried. She shouldn’t have been self-conscious. This wasn’t their fake date he could take the wrong way, and apparently hadn’t, since he hadn’t even tried to really kiss her. This was for his family. For him.

  When had she ever been self-conscious?

  It wiggled through her nevertheless, all nerves and worry. She wanted to be what Jack needed. A fuck you to his ex and his brother, and someone his upstanding, church-going parents wouldn’t look down their noses at. She wanted to pretend to be someone his parents would think was just as great as Madison, if not better.

  It was why she was wearing a dress with long sleeves, despite the warm weather. She’d hidden her tattoos as best she could, put on the demurest amount of makeup she could muster, and braided her hair to hang over one shoulder.

  She looked sweet and good, and now she just had to keep up the act long enough to make them believe it. God help her.

  She parked her car next to a giant RV and tried to remember why she was doing this. A favor, nothing more, nothing less, for a guy who’d been treated pretty shitty by his family. She was a metaphorical middle finger, and her feelings about the man involved weren’t at stake. Beginning and end of story.

  Rose stepped out of the car, smoothing her hands down her borrowed clothes. God bless Summer Lane for lending her the sweet-looking dress and not asking any questions. Delia’s sister-in-law always looked like some kind of hippie fairy princess, and Rose figured that was just the kind of look she needed for pretending to be someone’s girlfriend.

  Rose studied the ranch but, aside from the RV, didn’t see signs of anyone. At least not until the RV door swung open and a blond woman holding a kid stepped out.

  They both froze and stared at each other.

  Rose supposed it could be Jack’s sister, but between the baby and the lack of any kind of resemblance, Rose absolutely knew this was Madison. Of course it was. She was blond and blue eyed and beautiful, even in jeans and a T-shirt.

  Despite the baby wriggling in her arms, she didn’t look the least bit frazzled, like Delia so often did when wrestling with Sunny. Surprise was clearly written all over her face, but mostly she was serene and perfect grace.

  Rose wanted to scowl and shrink away, because she could never pretend to compete with that—no matter that Madison was a cheating asshole. That was the thing to remember though. Madison might look perfect, but she was definitely not.

  So Rose fixed the brightest smile she could muster on her face. This was the woman who had cheated on Jack—sweet, ridiculously good Jack. And with his brother. “Hi there!” she greeted, forcing out a kind of cheer she’d never used before in her life.

  “Hello,” Madison returned cautiously.

  “I’m Rose,” Rose continued, stepping toward her. She didn’t know if Jack had told anyone her name, but she figured the best course of action was to assume everyone would know who she was. That she had the right to be there. “You must be Madison.”

  Madison blinked. “Y-yeah. Yes, I’m Madison. And you’re…Jack’s…”

  Rose smiled sweetly. “I am Jack’s,” she said cheerfully. “And who’s this little sweetie?” Rose asked, touching a finger to the kid’s waving fist.

  Rose didn’t miss the way Madison shifted so the baby was farther away from her.

  “This is my son, Croy,” Madison muttered, her gaze going up to the ranch house.

  “Cory?”

  Madison frowned, her gaze going back to Rose, clearly assessing everything. “Croy.”

  “Oh, sorry.” Rose laughed airily. “How unique.” It was probably mean, but she was feeling mean. Meeting Madison in person filled Rose with a renewed sense of fury. Seeing the sweet little boy in Madison’s arms, as if the woman deserved that kind of gift.

  All Rose’s anger at the way Jack had been treated returned with a vengeance.

  “Well, I can’t wait to meet everyone,” Rose said, turning her attention to the ranch house. “Are they in the house?”

  “They were taking a tour of the stables when I had to come change Croy’s diaper.”

  “Let’s go then.”

  Madison didn’t say anything to that, but she did fall into step next to Rose, Croy babbling happily.

  A group of people started filing out of the stable doors—first Alex, Becca, Gabe, and Jack, then what must have been the Armstrong family.

  “Just what has Jack told you about me?” Madison asked, her eyes ahead on the group of people, her tone hushed.

  Rose tried to decide what answer would irritate this woman the most. She didn’t know Madison enough to really know, so she could only guess. “Oh, he mentioned that you two dated years ago,” Rose said offhandedly.

  “Is…is that it?”

  Rose studied Madison and then decided that the best course of action was to say as little as possible. If Madison was curious enough to ask a stranger what had been said behind her back, then the worst thing for her would be to never find out.

  So Rose shrugged and picked up the pace of her walking. “Not it, exactly.” Then she made a beeline for Jack, effectively cutting off any more conversation.

  Her step hitched for about a second when she got her first good look at him for the day. He’d cut his hair and shaved off his beard and was standing there, all military ramrod straight, looking like the perfect, way-too-handsome soldier that he was.

  When he looked over at her approaching form, he stared at her as if she had two heads. The outfit she was wearing was probably the equivalent of two heads, she had to admit. Or maybe he was staring like that since she was walking next to Madison. Either way, she smiled and sidled up next to him. “Hi, sweetie,” she said, staring up at him and fluttering her lashes until he clearly had to suppress an amused smile. “Sorry I’m late.”

  “Late,” he echoed. “Right.” He turned his gaze to his family, his arm coming around her shoulders. “Everyone, this is Rose,” he said, and it was the weirdest thing how proud he sounded. Completely disconcerting how real it felt to have Jack’s arm around her, her arm around his waist, and his family waiting, what seemed like eagerly, to meet her.

  An act, Rose told herself as she was introduced to the Armstrong clan. All a fucking act.

  Chapter 15

  Jack didn’t know what to make of Rose’s outfit. He didn’t know what to make of Madison walking up alongside her, his mother pulling Rose in for a hug, or his sister gushing over her adorable dress.

  Because Rose was wearing a dress. And it was all flowery and flowy and sweet. She’d braided her hair, and it fell over one shoulder, and
she looked like some completely different person than the Rose he knew.

  He didn’t like it. Because as much as this was fake, he still wanted her to be…her. When she talked with his parents, he wanted…

  Things he probably had no business wanting.

  They went through the rest of the tour of the ranch, and Rose held his hand and acted like everything was a marvel. She chattered with his parents and his sister all afternoon, mostly ignoring Mike and Madison and the baby. By the end of it, Mom was charmed, Dad was blushing, and Vivian kept mouthing I like her anytime Jack met her gaze.

  Which had been the plan and the point, and he didn’t miss how silent Mike and Madison were. But something about the fact that it was Rose acting bothered him on a deep level that he couldn’t seem to rationalize away. He wanted the Rose from their date night—the snark, the laugh. The way she slowly opened up to him and there was something softer underneath, but it wasn’t this. His family would no doubt be as charmed by that real her as much as this fake version of her.

  In the evening, his family filed into the living room of Becca and Alex’s house while Gabe and Alex took care of some chores. Becca had insisted on making dinner for the whole crew, no matter how he’d argued or Mom had insisted she didn’t have to.

  Eventually Mom drifted off to the kitchen, intent on helping the preparations, and without Mom’s influence, Dad and Mike drifted into farm talk.

  Jack thought he could have accepted that. He could have dealt, because he had this whole new farm-like endeavor that he did actually enjoy, no matter that it wasn’t the family farm he had been supposed to take over. Then Madison joined in. Talking about crop yields and rotation, rain levels and soil testing, and Jack could only stare at his hands and try to convince himself it was all a very real alternate reality.

  Didn’t matter that those were supposed to be his conversations with his wife.

  They were not his.

  At some point, Rose excused herself, and Jack didn’t totally listen to what excuse she used. Whether she was going to help Becca or go to the bathroom, or she was just going to disappear. It didn’t feel like it mattered. He was untethered either way.