Dreams Unspoken

by R. J. Layer

  It had been years since Jo visited home during the spring. Nothing much seemed different about the brick ranch they had moved into when Jo started high school except the size of the maples that flanked the driveway on either side and shaded the house. The shrubs and flower beds remained unchanged. She took a calming breath as she walked up to the door, knocked lightly and let herself in.

  “It’s me,” she announced.

  Her dad was sitting in his recliner with the paper in front of his face and her mom emerged from down the hallway a moment later.

  “Jo Lynn, I don’t know why you think you need to knock. You are family.” Eileen had changed into a cotton blouse and slacks, and she had traded her heels for flat-soled shoes. Comfortable clothes, as she called them. Jo, dressed similarly, was less than comfortable. Jo found comfort in jeans, a T-shirt or a denim or flannel shirt and, of course, her favorite broken-in cowboy boots. But she had dressed “properly” to meet the lawyer and avoid embarrassing her parents.

  Jo followed her mom into the kitchen. “I always knock before going in anyone’s house. It’s a polite habit.” In actuality, Jo hadn’t felt a part of her family for more than a decade. It’s why she stayed away. She leaned in the doorway.

  “Something I can help with, Mom?” Eileen poured three glasses of iced tea and handed one to her, nodding toward her father.

  “Here’s your tea, Pops.” Jo placed the glass on the table beside his recliner. He neither looked up nor lowered the paper, only grumbling a “thanks.” Back in the kitchen, preferring her mom’s awkward attempt at conversation to her dad’s stone cold silence, she set the table. Her dad said grace and her mom continued her attempt at conversation by asking Jo about her horses, her farm and the people she employed.

  Jo became lost in worry about all the things in her life that would be impacted by the changes coming. There was no way to know if a new owner at the farm would take over the horses she boarded and trained and keep on the three guys that regularly worked for her. Over and over so many questions kept rolling around in her mind. The one bright spot, though, in this utter chaos, was her “new” real estate agent.

  Her mom wouldn’t let Jo help clean up after dinner, instead shooing her from the kitchen. With feet like lead blocks she dragged herself to the living room and found her dad leaned back in the recliner with his hands crossed on his waist. His eyelids appeared heavy as if ready for sleep.

  She took a deep breath. “You look tired, Pops. How you feelin’?”

  “I’m fine, and I wish everyone would quit worrying over me. Been up since six is why I’m tired, like anybody else would be.”

  It never changed. The tone of his voice reaffirmed for Jo that things would never again be what they had been. She choked back the hurt.

  “I’d appreciate it if you and Mom would call me as soon as you know anything about the tests they’ve done.”

  “I’m sure it’s nothing for you to be worrying about. It’s probably a bug. You know the Lord takes care of those who take care of themselves.”

  His voice was edged with the familiar sharpness, and Jo knew enough to let it be. If she were going to be kept informed, she knew it would be by her mom. She returned to the kitchen where her mom finished the dishwashing.

  Jo grabbed a towel and asked, “He won’t tell me anything. Can we talk?”

  Eileen nodded and took her sweater from the hook by the back door. “Let’s sit on the patio.”

  She joined her mom on the swing. “This is nice. Is it new?”

  Her mom rubbed her hand over the wooden arm. “Your father got me this for my last birthday.” Her hand persisted in its motion as if she were summoning a genie from a magical lamp. “He said we should get out here more often and stargaze.” Her eyes misted with tears.

  “And do you?”

  Eileen looked at the cloudless sky. “It’s been too chilly for him. He gets cold easily these days.”

  Jo saw a tear slide down her cheek. Being a poor source of comfort, Jo hoped her mom wouldn’t cry as she had on Monday. “I’m looking for a farm around the area. I’m going to move back up this way. I’ll be closer if you need me for anything.”

  She patted Jo’s leg. “You’re a good girl, Jo Lynn.”

  Jo welcomed the touch, as small and insignificant as it was. She placed her hand over her mom’s and gave a squeeze. “I’m sure everything’s going to be fine, Mom. He’s a tough old bird.”

  Eileen inhaled a sharp breath before a sob escaped. “Oh God, Jo, I don’t know what I’ll do if—” She placed her hand to her mouth.

  “Mom, let’s not think like that. There’s no reason to yet.” She took her mom’s hand. “Let’s be positive, like you raised me to be.”

  Unlike the way I’ve thought about generally everything in my life for the last few years.

  Jo scooted over and slipped her arm around her mom’s shoulders. When Eileen stood abruptly, Jo was fully aware that the fractured relationship still existed.

  “I need to check on your father.”

  Jo followed back into the house and left almost immediately, saying her good-byes at the door. She was in for a long drive home. Heading up the highway on-ramp, she pushed thoughts of her family crisis out of her mind and called up an image of the lovely Maria West. Jo was sure she would enjoy farm shopping with the attractive Hispanic woman—more than she probably should.

  * * *

  Maria replayed the meeting with the cowgirl on the drive to her sister-in-law’s house. The sale of a farm the size Jo Marchal had in mind would earn her a nice commission. She was gradually building a nest egg for herself, unbeknownst to her husband. Nothing had changed in their marriage that she’d been able to discern, but his most recent promotion took him away on business more now than ever, and that gave Maria pause.

  Kathleen had been kind enough to pick up her son from his school when she’d gotten held up with a client. She knocked before pushing through the door.

  “We’re in here,” Kathleen called from the direction of the family room.

  “Thanks for rescuing me again.”

  Kathleen smiled sweetly. “Sure thing, honey.” She waved a hand. “He’s fine, they’re watching a movie.” Kathleen had three boys of her own, ages six, eight and ten. They accepted their cousin without reservation, despite his slightly darker skin. Kathleen looped her arm through Maria’s. “Come on, let’s have a cup of tea and relax for a few minutes while they’re still occupied.”

  She steered Maria to the counter that separated the kitchen and dining room. As Maria slid onto a stool she allowed her shoulders to slump and her purse to drop to the floor.

  “I’m sorry to have to call on you so much. They couldn’t tell me where Jack is, only that he couldn’t be reached. I tried his cell and he’s either out of coverage or has it turned off.”

  Kathleen sat the teakettle on the stove and readied two mugs before turning to Maria. “Don’t worry about it. The boys love when they get to run out and pick their cousin up and bring him home with them.”

  Maria let out a tired breath. “I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t count on you.”

  “Jack still won’t help with Matt?” Maria shook her head. Kathleen stepped beside her, placing a comforting hand on Maria’s shoulder. “I’m always available to help out if you need me. Please don’t ever hesitate to call. We’re family and I love Matty like one of my own.”

  Maria touched her hand. “You’re a godsend. I don’t know how I’d manage without you.”

  Kathleen patted her shoulder. “Well, you’re not going to have to find out, so don’t worry about it, honey.”

  The kettle whistled, interrupting Maria’s distressing thoughts. When Kathleen slid a mug in front of her, Maria decided to lighten the conversation.

  “I met the most unusual woman earlier today.” Blowing on the steaming cup, she took a sip.

  “Unusual?”

  Maria nodded. “She’s a horse breeder.” She chuckled. “She reminded me of a
Texas cowgirl that someone had forced to get gussied up for the big city.”

  “What’s unusual about that?”

  Maria felt her cheeks warm. “I got this peculiar feeling that she might have been flirting with me.”

  Or maybe I just hoped she was. And why would I hope that a woman flirted with me?

  Kathleen’s brows arched sharply. “Really? So she’s gay?”

  “How would I know? I mean, I’m not sure I know any gay women.”

  Kathleen grinned. “Oh, you probably do, you just don’t know it. Sometimes it’s easy to tell, sometimes not. Does she look butch?”

  “Butch?” Maria asked uncomfortably.

  “Such the naïve one. You know, does she look masculine or act manly?”

  Maria closed her eyes for the briefest moment and saw Jo Marchal in her mind. Her pretty pale eyes and that charming smile. “She looks strong and confident like a Texas cowgirl—or like a female horse breeder, I suppose.” She shrugged.

  “Well, did you get any vibes from her?” Maria simply looked at her. “Unusual feelings.”

  Maria hid a smile as she remembered the handshake accompanied by butterflies. “I don’t know.”

  “Hmm…Maybe I should meet her.”

  “Why?” Maria sipped more tea.

  “To see if she flirts with you.”

  Maria was certain her face registered the embarrassment she was feeling. “I’m sure I imagined it.” And as if on cue to save her further uneasiness, Kathleen’s boys came rushing in with Matt in tow. He hugged his mother’s waist as she kissed the top of his head. “Hey, Matty boy. You ready to go home and have some dinner?” He responded by releasing her waist and taking her hand. With her free hand Maria rested it on Kathleen’s arm. “Thanks for picking him up, Kat, I owe you some sitting time.”

  Kathleen gently tapped her hand. “At this rate, honey, you owe me enough for a nice long vacation on some tropical island.” She laughed. “But who’s counting?” Kathleen stood and placed her arm around Maria’s shoulder. “Call anytime you need help with Matt.” She tousled Matt’s hair. “The boys love having him here and he’s no trouble at all.”

  Maria smiled at the wonderful friend her sister-in-law had always been. “Thanks again. We’ll do a girls’ night out soon and make the guys watch the kids.”

  “Oh please, let’s do. I could use a night without hearing the word ‘Mom’ repeatedly.” Maria’s smiled faded. “I’m sorry, hon. Listen, don’t give up. They’re making progress every day with kids like Matt.”

  In the car she watched Matt in the rearview mirror. Her beautiful boy, trapped inside himself by autism. “To hell with Jack,” she muttered, starting the car. As long as she had her son, she didn’t need Jack in her life any more than he appeared to need Matt in his life.

  Chapter Two

  A little after four on Monday Jo headed from the office in the stable to the one in the house. She listened to several voice messages, the last, much to her delight, from Maria West. Maria emailed Jo links on some properties for Jo to take a look at. She played the message a second time to hear Maria’s voice again. When she logged on her computer, she opened the email, which listed a few specifics about one of the properties, contained four links and ended with a note saying that Jo could reply at her convenience. Jo took a look at the properties, then typed a reply letting Maria know the best time to reach her.

  Jo’s cell rang around two o’clock Tuesday afternoon with an unknown caller.

  “Hello.”

  “Ms. Marchal, it’s…West. Sorry…your return…yesterday.” Maria West’s voice was broken and garbled. “I…you a number…properties to look—”

  “We have a terrible connection. Can I call you back from my land line?”

  Jo barely made out, “Sorry, darned…phones, take…look…call…evening.”

  She rushed outside in hopes of a better signal, but the call dropped. “Damn,” she cursed under her breath. She hurried back into the stable and told the first hand she saw she’d be up in the house if anyone needed her. She checked her email and found multiple new listings from Maria. She replied to the email and returned to the stable. Jo was expecting a new rider for lessons on her newest boarder, an American quarter horse, which happened to be the twelfth birthday present for a young girl named Kaitlyn from her daddy.

  “Darlin’, you’re killing me,” Cecile admonished.

  Jo was kicked back in her office with her feet on the desk when the land line rang. “Cil, I’ve got another call. I’ll call you back.” Her feet hit the floor as she grabbed for the other phone before voice mail could pick up. “Hello.”

  “Ms. Marchal,” the familiar voice purred. “I apologize for that awful call earlier. I was trying to catch you between my appointments and wasn’t in the best reception area.”

  “Jo, please, and it’s quite all right. I imagine you keep very busy doing what you do.”

  “Ah, the nature of the real estate business.” She paused. “I see from your emails there are five properties you’re interested in seeing.”

  Jo caught herself in a daydream remembering how Maria West had looked so beautiful standing in the afternoon sun last Friday. “Um, yeah.” She realized she sounded like an uneducated hick. “Yes, that’s right.” It was like being a schoolgirl again for Jo trying to make a first date. “What’s your schedule look like?”

  “My schedule is what I make it and I don’t have to drive four hours to meet you.”

  The cadence of Maria’s voice told Jo she must be wearing the killer smile that she had seen when they met and she couldn’t stop her own smile. “How’s Friday again?” She knew whenever she left the farm the hands would take the opportunity to ease off a bit, but at least at the end of the week, most of the work would be done.

  “I can do Friday. What time?”

  “What time do you need me there?”

  After a momentary pause, Maria said, “Well, I wouldn’t ask you to meet me as early as nine since that would require you having to get up before the chickens.”

  Jo heard the faint accent again and guessed again she might be a Texas gal. She laughed. “I’d only have to get up an hour earlier. I can do nine o’clock if you want.”

  “You get up that early every morning?”

  “Yup.”

  “In any case, let’s say ten on Friday, and you won’t have to get up any earlier than usual.”

  “Works for me.”

  They discussed exactly where they’d meet. The second Jo hung up she was again reminded she’d soon be leaving her homestead and starting over. She walked to the chair on the front porch and sat down for a moment. She wanted to enjoy every minute she had left at the old place.

  * * *

  Thursday before turning in, Jo pressed creases in a fairly new pair of jeans and the wrinkles out of a denim shirt. She wasn’t sure why she wanted to impress Maria West tomorrow. She just did.

  The drive was no less boring than last week’s, but definitely more comfortable in her Super Duty Ford truck. Today wasn’t going to be a round trip. She planned to spend the night in southern Ohio, at a motel possibly, if her mom didn’t invite her to stay with them. She picked out Maria’s little black station wagon right away and pulled in a few spaces over from it. Maria didn’t notice Jo until she walked up to her car door.

  She scampered out of the car. “Good morning!”

  “That it is.” Jo grinned.

  “I found a couple more properties you may want to look at.” She extended a file folder to Jo. “I think we can fit in the time if you’re interested.”

  “I don’t s’ppose we’d have time for a cup of coffee, would we?” Jo raised the file. “I can take a look at these and take a little break from the windshield time I’m doing today.”

  “Sure, of course.” Maria reached back in the car for her purse. “There’s a coffee shop here in the shopping center.” She led the way across the parking lot to a quaint little place situated between a hardware store and a d
rycleaner’s.

  “I suppose the last thing you want to do right now is sit in the car.” At Jo’s nod Maria continued, “We don’t have any time constraints today, unless you do. You can take a look at those,” she indicated the file in Jo’s hand, “and I’ll adjust the route if we need to. We’re basically going to drive in a big circle.”

  Once seated, Jo flipped open the folder and assessed the two farms. When she looked up and met Maria’s dark eyes, the intensity in them caused her breath to catch. Jo sat unable to formulate any words for several long moments.

  She finally cleared her throat and tried her voice. “I was thinking I probably should have said something before. These properties are all relatively large, acreage wise, but I’d be most interested in the ones that have surrounding land that could be potentially acquired in the future. My long term goal is to establish a kind of dude ranch. You know, a place for horse enthusiasts to escape to where there are hundreds of acres to ride and camp out in the country.” Jo took a quick drink of her coffee. “I’m sorry. I should have mentioned that.”

  Maria waved her hand. “Not a problem. These are all quite rural, but I’ll have my office check on them before we waste time driving to them.” She pushed out of the booth. “I’ll be right back.”

  Jo focused on the information before her. When Maria returned, she pulled one of the listings. “We can cross this one off. It won’t meet your future needs. So, that leaves us with six locations and even as spread out as they are, we should have plenty of time to get to all of them. Whenever you’re ready to go.”

  Jo drained her cup. “Let me hit the bathroom.”

  “I’ll meet you outside.”

  Maria was standing with a map spread over the hood of her car when Jo emerged. Sliding her sunglasses in place so it wouldn’t be obvious she was scrutinizing the cowgirl, she noted Jo’s confident stride. Today Jo was dressed somewhat boyishly, although Maria still wouldn’t immediately label her as gay. She folded the map and opened her car door.