Dreams Unspoken

by R. J. Layer

  “I love to ride, but I hardly get the chance to. Maybe we could ride sometime.”

  Jo could only blame the beer for making her sneak a peek at the full breasts barely contained in Callie’s designer top. When she got caught looking, Callie raised Jo’s chin to meet her eyes and traced her finger along Jo’s jaw.

  The music had slowed. “Dance with me, cowgirl.”

  “Sure,” Jo replied.

  Callie led Jo to the dance floor where she moved effortlessly into Jo’s arms, slid her hands up her back and pulled her close. Jo finally relaxed and swayed to the music in rhythm with Callie. Callie didn’t want to stop, but Jo pulled her back to the bar. She emptied her beer and waved down the bartender for another. After a few sips, she excused herself to go to the restroom. As she weaved her way through the crowded bar, it became clear to her that she was well on her way to being drunk if she didn’t slow down.

  When she again maneuvered through the crowd, she spotted Cecile chatting it up with Callie, but she was gone by the time Jo reached the bar. Jo would really miss the ever-effervescent Cecile when she moved away. She reminded her of one of the wild and free-spirited horses she’d broken over the years, but she seriously doubted a woman would ever break Cecile.

  Callie handed Jo her beer and met her eyes. “Your friend is very nice. She’s so…” She shrugged.

  “Full of abandon and only to be approached with extreme caution.” Jo laughed.

  She propped her foot on the rung of the barstool and leaned an elbow on the bar. Callie seized the opportunity to step against Jo’s raised leg and rest her hand on Jo’s thigh. Jo’s blood moved toward a desire she hadn’t felt in a very long time. She tipped her beer and took a couple swallows, hoping to extinguish what was beginning to smolder. When Callie again traced circles with her finger, this time on her thigh, Jo could barely stand it.

  “Would you like another drink?”

  “I’m fine, thanks.”

  Callie stood so close her hot breath caressed Jo’s ear. She swallowed hard.

  Cecile approached, Jo hoped, to rescue her. Pressing against Jo’s side, Cecile dropped her arm across her shoulder. “Hey, darlin’, how you doin’?”

  “Great, Cil. Are we leaving now?”

  Cecile looked from Jo to Callie and back. “Well…see…here’s the thing. I met this gorgeous nurse.” A smile spread on Cecile’s face. “And well…she’s offered to check my blood pressure.” She wiggled an eyebrow. “If you know what I mean.” She chortled. She looked again at Callie and touched her arm. “Don’t s’ppose I could impose on you to give my friend here a ride home, could I?”

  Callie cocked her head. “It would be no imposition to give your friend a ride—if she doesn’t mind.”

  Jo opened her mouth to protest, but Cecile wrapped her in a bear hug and whispered, “Get you some tonight, hon. I promise it’ll make you feel like a new woman.” Cecile pulled back and eyed Jo until she gave a slight nod. “Wonderful! Thanks, darlin’s.”

  As if on cue, a tall, slender brunette with unnaturally large breasts appeared and looped her arm through Cecile’s. “Ready, sugar?” She batted long dark lashes.

  Cecile grinned. “I’m gettin’ there.”

  The brunette smiled and tugged Cecile away. She called over her shoulder, “You kids have fun.”

  “Sorry about that. She has a way of being very persuasive.” Jo said. “Please don’t feel obligated to drive me home.”

  “I was hoping to do more than drive you home.” Callie offered her own seductive smile as she moved her hand dangerously high on Jo’s thigh. “Darlin’.”

  Jo chugged the rest of her beer. “Ready to go?”

  In answer, Callie grabbed Jo’s hand and tugged her toward the door. Jo knew if she stayed she’d continue to drink. As for Callie… Well, if she decided not to take Cil’s advice, she felt confident that she could limit their interaction to a goodnight kiss in the car. Probably.

  Jo gave Callie directions to the farm, lowered the window part way to let in some cool night air, laid her head back and closed her eyes. The swirling air stirred Callie’s perfume and Jo’s mind wandered. Callie again placed her hand awfully close to the top of Jo’s thigh.

  “Are you okay there, cowgirl?”

  Jo cracked open an eye and observed the hand close to her crotch. “Fine.”

  Callie murmured under her breath, “Indeed you are.”

  When the car stopped, Jo slowly opened her eyes, but Callie had already gotten out. A moment later Jo’s door opened and Callie took her hand.

  “Come on. Let me put you to bed.”

  Jo allowed herself to be led into the house, leaning on Callie for support more than she thought she’d have to.

  Jo woke naked in bed, alone and relieved. Until, that is, she stood and saw Callie’s top amidst the clothes strewn about the floor. She brushed the stale beer taste from her mouth, located her T-shirt and panties, then found Callie at the kitchen table drinking coffee. She smiled up at Jo before going to the counter.

  “Good morning, cowgirl.” Her eyes sparkled in the sunlight filtering through the nearby window. “I trust you slept okay.”

  Jo squinted at a developing headache. “I think I passed out.”

  “How do you take your coffee?”

  “Black.” She closed her eyes against the increasing pain in her head and dropped heavily into a chair. When the smell of coffee reached her senses, she became aware that Callie was standing very near. “Thanks.”

  Callie lightly stroked Jo’s mess of hair. “You did pass out, but not before teaching me the finer points of riding a strong lean cowgirl.”

  Jo’s stomach flopped over at the thought of having sex with someone and not remembering it.

  Callie’s hand slid down her back and she kissed the top of her aching head. “You should take something before you get a headache. Where’s your aspirin?”

  Jo tried nodding her head, but it felt like a bowling ball was rolling around in her skull. “Over the sink.”

  Callie placed the aspirin in Jo’s hand. “Do you mind if I take a shower?”

  Jo swallowed the tablets and leaned her head in her hand. “Not at all. Towels are in the hall closet.”

  As Callie walked from the room, Jo noticed for the first time she was wearing one of her denim shirts and nothing else. She caught the tiniest peek of a shapely backside. She stretched her arm across the table and laid her head down. She wasn’t aware she’d nodded off until she felt the hand on her shoulder.

  “Why don’t you shower? It’ll wake you up so you can nurse that hangover,” Callie said in a tender tone.

  Jo emerged from the bathroom to the smell of bacon and when she entered the kitchen Callie refilled her coffee mug.

  “How about scrambled eggs since I’m not very good at frying them?”

  Jo stood there, mouth agape.

  Callie laughed. “Relax, cowgirl…I’m not trying to move in. I thought fixing you breakfast,” she looked at the tiny watch on her wrist, “or brunch was a nice way of repaying your hospitality.” Her smile was sincere. “Sit down.” She placed a plate of toast on the table, and after she set the plate of bacon and eggs in front of Jo she took a seat across the table.

  Jo took several bites. “You’re a good cook. Maybe I should move you in.” Now it was Callie who appeared like a deer caught in headlights. Jo ate a few more bites and laid her fork down. After a sip of coffee, she said, “I need to clear something up.” Callie raised a brow. “I’m not in the habit of picking women up at bars.” She avoided Callie’s eyes. “Actually, I’ve never done it before.”

  “I knew we surely must have something in common…I felt it.” They both laughed a little nervously. Callie raised her hand. “I admit, I’m a big flirt, but I’ve only ever left a bar with a phone number or a promise of a date.” She winked. “You’re my first, too, cowgirl.” Callie’s smile said so much, none of which was cheap or uncaring. She shrugged. “You looked like you needed a friend, and…
when you went to the bathroom, your friend said you needed to get laid and she’d be eternally grateful if I could accommodate you. Of course there wasn’t any question that I was attracted to you and I didn’t get any bad vibes. That’s some friend you got, but that’s not why I slept with you. I wanted to.” She took a sip of coffee, trying to hide her rosy cheeks behind the cup.

  Jo shook her head. “Yeah, that’s Cecile.”

  They finished breakfast in silence.

  When Callie started to clear away the dishes, Jo asked, “Do you have somewhere you have to rush off to?”

  Callie narrowed her eyes. “Depends…what’d you have in mind?”

  Jo walked over to stand in front of her and reached out her hand. “I’m not sure we were properly introduced. “Jo, Jo Marchal.” Callie took her hand and gently squeezed. “I have a stable of horses. We could take a ride if you like.” She kept hold of Callie’s hand.

  Callie made no attempt to pull her hand away. “That sounds nice, but…” She looked down at her Saturday night outfit. “I’m not exactly dressed for riding.”

  Jo released her hand and took a step back. “No, more like you’re ready for dancing, but I might be able to find something that won’t fall off of you. What do you say?”

  “Sounds fun, as long as you keep in mind I’m an amateur.”

  Jo found a pair of Claire’s jeans in a box in the back of the closet that had been left behind. They were half a foot too long, but the size was right. Callie came back into the kitchen in the rolled up jeans and Jo’s denim shirt. When Jo frowned, Callie looked down at herself.

  “What?”

  “I’m not so sure you want to venture beyond the driveway in those shoes. They look kind of expensive.” Jo looked at her own feet. “There’s no way you could keep a pair of my boots on.”

  Callie snapped her fingers. “I keep a pair of sneakers in my trunk.” She grabbed up her keys. “We sometimes go out and walk at lunch.”

  Callie was cute and sexy. Jo wished she remembered more of last night.

  They were standing in the tack room. “When’s the last time you rode?” Jo asked.

  Callie ran a fingertip over the smooth soft leather of a saddle. “Oh, college, I think.”

  “So about a year ago,” Jo said with a smile.

  “Right, in my dreams.”

  Jo saddled Cobalt for herself and Calypso for Callie. These two could be trusted not to spook easily and no two horses of hers liked to run together more than they did. She placed water bottles in her saddlebag, boosted Callie up on Calypso and kept the horses at a walk toward the lower pasture while giving Callie a refresher. At the bottom of the pasture they took a break to let the horses drink from a small stream while they enjoyed a cool drink themselves. Jo asked Callie about her life and her job and nearly two hours later, after riding back at a full gallop, Jo turned the horses out to graze and sat up on the fence to look out over her land. Callie stood on the bottom rail, arms wrapped over the top.

  “How come you’re selling this place?”

  Jo sighed, as she did every time she thought of letting go of the place. “I’m moving back to Ohio. I need to be closer to my family.”

  “Oh.”

  Jo glanced at Callie, staring out at the open field. “If I weren’t moving away—I’d want to date, you know if you wanted to.”

  Callie looked at her and smiled. “So when are you moving away?”

  “Soon as I can sell this place.”

  Callie’s eyes held Jo’s. “We could hang out ‘til then. You know, go to dinner or dancing.” She waved a hand in the air. “Or riding.”

  Jo nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

  She nudged Jo’s thigh with her elbow. “Well, don’t get too enthused about it, cowgirl.”

  Jo remembered Callie’s earlier words, when she said she looked like she needed a friend.

  “I’d like to apologize for any bad behavior I may have exhibited in my drunken state last night. I’m not in a habit of doing that.”

  Callie looked away shyly. “I wouldn’t call what you did to me last night bad.” Jo lowered her head in embarrassment and Callie rested her hand on Jo’s thigh. “What I said this morning sounded kind of crude. You’re very tender in your lovemaking.”

  “But…but I passed out,” Jo stammered.

  Callie took Jo’s hand, turned it over and kissed her palm. “Not before taking me on the ride of my life.” Jo felt the deep flush in her cheeks. “My only regret is that you’re moving away and we can’t date.”

  Jo knew better than to suggest anything beyond friends hanging out. She was certain that the long distance thing wouldn’t work. Heck, the girlfriend-living-in-her-house thing hadn’t worked out.

  Turning her gaze back to the lush green pasture, she reminded herself it was time for things to grow anew—her life included.

  Chapter Five

  Jo and Callie made an early dinner date for Friday. While they were enjoying their meal, Jo’s phone vibrated.

  “Excuse me, I need to take this.” She said a quiet “hello” and made her way outside the noisy restaurant.

  “It sounds like I’ve interrupted something.” When Jo didn’t respond right away, Maria asked, “Have I?”

  “I’m at dinner with a friend, but it’s okay.”

  “There are a few things the seller wants me to run by you. I was wondering if you were going to be visiting your parents again soon or if I should email this to you.”

  Jo smiled. “I’m driving up in the morning. How’s that for timing?”

  “Perfect.” Jo could hear the smile in Maria’s voice, and it made her feel tingly inside. “I actually have some business I have to take care of in Campbell. I’ll schedule it for tomorrow. What time can I meet you?”

  “I’m flexible. You tell me.”

  “Can I call you tomorrow after I get my appointments set?”

  “Works for me.”

  “Terrific. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Sorry for interrupting your dinner. Please pass my apology on to your companion.”

  “Sure.”

  Jo tucked her phone away. Interesting that Maria referred to her dinner guest as a “companion.”

  When Jo pulled up to Callie’s place, Callie squeezed her hand and gave her a peck on the lips.

  “Thanks, I had a great time and you’re a wonderful dinner companion.”

  “You’re a pretty great date yourself.” Jo raised Callie’s hand and kissed it. “Let’s get together again soon. Okay?”

  “Call me.” Callie smiled.

  “Count on it,” Jo responded with a grin.

  * * *

  Jo knocked and let herself into her parents’ house shortly after ten the following morning. “It’s me, Mom…Pops…”

  Her mom’s voice echoed from the kitchen. “In here, Jo Lynn.” Eileen was seated at the kitchen table, paging through a magazine.

  Jo touched her shoulder as she passed in route to the counter. “Morning, Mom. Where’s Dad?”

  He mom expelled a heavy sigh. “Probably shut up in the den. He spends a lot of his time in there these days.” Her voice cracked. “I don’t know what to do for him, Jo Lynn. He won’t talk to me.” Jo poured a mug of coffee. “Oh dear, that coffee is hours old. Let me make some fresh.”

  Before Eileen could get up, Jo placed her hand on her mom’s shoulder. “It’s fine, Mom. Let me go see if I can talk to him.”

  Jo knocked on the door and he responded, but she couldn’t quite make out what he said. It may have been “go away.” She pushed through the door.

  “Hi, Pops!” She closed the door behind her. As he grumbled a hello, Jo walked around his big old desk to kiss the top of his head. “How you feeling?”

  “How do you think I feel?” he huffed. “Damn doctors say I’ll be dead inside six months or less.”

  Jo bit back a retort while swallowing the lump in her throat which threatened to open the floodgates of her tears. She sat in the arm chair across the room. “Mom’s sick abou
t this. Why won’t you talk to her?”

  “You don’t need to worry about me and your mother.”

  “You’re my parents. Why wouldn’t I worry?” Jo struggled for control.

  “What do you know?” His voice rose. “You’ve spent more than twenty years avoiding us.”

  Jo raised her voice to match his. “You know very well why I stay away. You don’t want me around. You don’t want, God forbid, for anyone in this town to find out that Walt Marchal’s daughter is not normal.”

  She stood and balled her hands at her sides. “Isn’t that how you see me, Pops? Not normal. You can’t stand the thought that you made me. Can you?” She took in a deep breath. This had been building for too many years, and she’d be damned if she didn’t speak her mind before it was too late.

  “I am who and what I am, Pops. Life’s too short, as I’m sure you’re coming to realize. I love you and Mom more than you care to know. The sooner you come to accept that—and me, because I’m the one you created out of love—the better you’ll feel about the small piece of life you have left.”

  Tears streamed down her face, but she was beyond caring. She marched to the doorway. “You don’t have to talk to me, but you damn well better talk to her. She’s given you fifty-one years of her life. You at least owe her that much.” Jo yanked open the door, then slammed it behind her. She grabbed her keys and without another word, left the house.

  That had been coming for a long time, she admitted to herself as she drove a few miles north of town and pulled into a parking spot along the small lake there. She inhaled the fresh air and gazed at the rippling, sparkling surface of the water, hoping to calm the disquiet roiling inside her. When that didn’t work, she crossed her arms over the steering wheel, lowered her head and cried. She cried because her parents hated who she was, because she’d lost twenty years of sharing with them and because she was about to lose her Pops forever.

  When she’d cried out every tear, she got out and walked down to the lake. Strolling along the shoreline, she came upon a young boy of maybe seven or eight. He looked to be a year or two older than Maria’s son Matt. The boy tossed a stick into the lake while a spry golden retriever fetched it.