Discovering Me (Breakneck #4)

by Crystal Spears

  When Jinx’s anklet falls away, he slaps a hand on my shoulder and forces me to look at him. “She makes my son smile. I’d give up hiding for that any day. I almost had to do it with your sister-in-law.”

  I shake my head. “No, Pop, we’re not like that.”

  My father gives me a sad smile. “She makes you laugh. It doesn’t matter.” He looks over to Pyro. “Get rid of these fucking chains. These girls don’t need to see this shit when they wake up.”

  When I look behind me, Pyro has a scowl the size of the Grand Canyon lacing his face. “You ain’t my President.”

  Before my father can respond, Akela rips him a new asshole. “Don’t talk to him like that. He fucking saved their lives. My sister would slap the tar out of you,” she hisses. “You can be pissed at him all you want, but you will help these girls. And if that help comes in the form of being a trash man, you’ll fucking do it!”

  And with that, I see Lana through her sister.

  “Low blow, Kela. Low fuckin’ blow,” he grumbles.

  She eyes him with hatred. “Good. Go cry about it as you dispose of this atrocious shit.”

  It’s a lesbian version of Lana. Akela has bite. Ripley smacks her on the arm when I am about to say something.

  “You be nice.” She then looks at me. “I need you to hold her head still in case she wakes up when I open her mouth slightly.”

  Oh fuck. Half of Piper’s face is swollen, and she wants to try to open her mouth? Like my darling isn’t in enough pain as it is. The only reason she is even sleeping is because my father drugged her. “Maybe we should wait for the Doc.”

  Ripley looks at me with disgust. “Who the hell do you think doctors rely on for research and for most of their diagnoses?”

  Clearly I have offended her. I walk to the headboard, bend down and kiss Piper’s forehead before I bring my hands up to her head, and press firmly to hold her in place. When Ripley opens Piper’s mouth, her eyes fly open and she starts screaming.

  “Don’t, don’t, don’t.” she repeats trying to shut her mouth.

  My arms are jerked around as Piper flings herself back and forth. Ripley stops and drops her hands. “Baby girl, you have a slight fracture. God news is you won’t need surgery to have your jaw wired shut. You’ll require a wrap around your head that goes under your chin until your jaw heels.”

  Tears flow down Piper’s cheeks and she goes to speak, but Ripley stops her by holding up her hand. “Don’t talk unless absolutely necessary. You need to keep the talking to a minimum. I’m going to ask them to leave the room so I can ask you some personal questions, okay?”

  Fuck if I am leaving this room. This bitch has me fucked up. I doubt I will ever let Piper out of my sight again.

  Piper shakes her head no. “Family,” she says, and my fucking biker heart breaks all over again.

  Nothing in this fucking universe can prepare me for the question she asks Piper, and nothing can take away the blind rage when Piper answers her.

  “Were you sexually assaulted in any way?” Ripley asks.

  My fists ball at my side as I stare down at Piper, and she nods a yes and closes her eyes.

  I trail my eyes down her body, and when I see the blood stained panties for the first time, I growl, turn, and leave the room. When I am in the hallway, I press my back against the wall, slide down, and burrow my head in my hands and I cry like a fucking baby.

  I cry and cry and cry. The tears don’t stop. My heart shatters over and over again as my blood pumps against my veins in anger, sadness, and all these other emotions I am not used to having.

  How the fuck can people be so goddamn cruel? I’m no fucking saint, but you do not take from a woman what she isn’t willing to give. And knowing Piper’s past like I do, makes the tears heavier as they slide down my cheeks and into the palms of my hands.

  I told myself that I wouldn’t let her out of my sight just moments ago, but if she saw me like this, it would rip her to shreds more than she already is. She would be more concerned about me than herself because that is who she is. She is sweet, caring, funny, loving, everything else a good woman can possess. That is Piper.

  A body slides down the wall beside me, and I recognize the hand that squeezes the back of my neck. My father. And I don’t even care if he knows I’m bawling my fucking eyes out. I’m gutted. Simply fucking gutted.

  “I found her as quick as I could, son. I’m truly sorry it wasn’t quick enough,” he says quiet enough for only my ears to hear.

  I don’t take my face out of my hands when I answer him with a chocked response. “You found her before she was dead.”

  It could be so much worse. I could have lost her forever. The emotions I feel right now are ones of pure agony, and I can’t even think about the hell I would be living if she weren’t found alive.

  “That is what matters.” I choke.

  We sit in silence and I don’t even get up when the Doc and his son arrive. I can’t. I have to get my bearings straight before I can face her. She is going to need me to be the strong, deadly biker she counts on. I will not disappoint her.

  ***

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Sniper

  Her first cut is not the deepest

  It is my job to assign someone of my choosing to protect my brother while I stay here with Piper while she heals. The choice is not an easy one to make. I pick someone I am not happy with right now, but she is also the best person for the job because she is as deadly with a gun as I am. Lucy, I am sure, is stoked to be out of the live-in doing female shit and back into the game of war.

  Jinx must have been be drugged more than Piper because she did not move a muscle when they transported her with Pyro, Akela, and Ripley.

  All my brothers have said they are taking a few days to rest before they begin to push out the Cartel members. I have been promised the Cartel Lord. I know my best friend won’t come out of this today and not tomorrow, but she will pull through it, and I will get my fucking revenge for her and Jinx.

  When the Doc and his son found out I would be the one taking care of Piper, they almost had heart attacks. God, I still want to punch the shit out of them. My head still hurts from their ramblings.

  Almost all of her ribs are broken, her jaw has a slight fracture, her ankle needs minding for infection, and she has small tears inside her from where she was raped. All fucking horrible, but nothing I can’t handle when it comes to taking care of her. A sigh of relief escapes me when I finally get rid of the doctor and his son.

  And when everyone, including my pop, leaves and it is just me and Piper like the days before this shit went down, I become nervous. Me, a trained goddamn sniper, a killer, fucking nervous.

  When I come back into my bedroom where Piper is supposed to be sleeping, I found her awake and her pills still next to her on the bed side table. I tsk her and walk over, take the pills and hold them out for her.

  “If you won’t get some rest for yourself, get some for me, Piper. I’m fuckin’ exhausted, and baby, I haven’t slept in days. While you sleep, I want to sleep, yeah?”

  All she can do was nod because she isn’t supposed to say anything.

  When I kick off my boots, undo my jeans, and prepare to get ready for bed, she holds up her right hand, puts her ring and middle fingers down, and makes the sign, ‘I love you’. I give her a sideways grin and follow her gesture. When she can talk, I’ll tell her how I feel and that I want to try things out with her. I can’t tell her now because that would be selfish of me. She needs to mend physically and emotionally, and me admitting how I feel will only further confuse her, and I am afraid it will halt her healing.

  When I am covered up in bed next to her, I watch her down her sleeping pills Doc gave her. She can’t turn over because of her ribs, so she is stuck sleeping on her back and she fucking hates that. Piper sleeps on her left side facing me when we do our drunken, talk out sleepovers.

  But I don’t have to worry for too long because ten minutes later, her breathi
ng evens out and she is out like the light on my bedside table when I flip the switch. Sleep. God, how I have missed fucking sleep. It comes easily to me now that Piper is next to me again.

  ***

  Her morning is my deepest cut

  I wake up, smoke a joint, make some coffee, and open my fridge to find it loaded down with groceries. I slept so good last night, I almost forgot some of the guys coming by and dropping this shit off in the dead of night. I pick up the little list on the counter the Doctor made me and make the worst face when I see that Piper’s breakfast will be a yogurt. She fucking hates this shit, but the Doctor said to shove it in the blender with some vanilla ice cream and make a thin smoothie with it. So I blend it, pour it into a glass, and open the bag of straws the guys brought over and walk my coffee and her breakfast to her.

  When I enter the room, she is scratching at the bandage around her head. And I smack at her hands after I set the cups down.

  “Piper don’t, babe. I’m no doctor, but I know you’re not supposed to fucking do that,” I warn her. “If you promise not to talk though, I’ll take it off for a little while. You need a bath. They could only sponge you yesterday, and I know my Piper. She wants a bath.” I chuckle and hand her the nasty ass smoothie and begin to unwrap the cloth from around her head.

  My heart cracks wide open when she whimpers around the straw. She can’t even eat a proper goddamn meal and just sucking on a straw kills her.

  When she is finished, I run her bath water and sit her up as slow as I can. With a gentle hand, I lift my long T-shirt over her head. She didn’t want to be confined so she slept in one of my shirts. This isn’t uncommon for us. I pick her up to carry her to the tub and set her slowly in the warm bath water.

  “Shake your head if it’s warm enough, darlin’.”

  She signals that it is. When I help her lean backwards against the back of the tub and I am sure she won’t slide down into the water and scream from her ribs, I grab her shampoo and conditioner out of the bag Storm packed for her. If I even tried to use my guy shampoo on her, I’d wake up with my own gun pointed at my head. It would be a prank, but Piper doesn’t joke about her hair. It is one of the things I love about her. Her creamy brunette hair reaches down to the middle of her back.

  “The Doc gave me some bubble shit that’s supposed to ease your muscles,” I say and reach up to the sink to grab the bottle. “It is some antibacterial shit.”

  I don’t know why the fuck I am talking. She can’t talk back, and her small grunts tell me it aggravates her.

  “Okay, baby, let’s get you good and clean.”

  ***

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Piper

  I say it best, when I say nothing at all

  He laughs when I choke on my Jello. It has been a rough few days. I know Sniper is restless and itching for payback. He would not be Sniper if he did not want to exact revenge, but even though I know him and he knows me, we still have not talked about the elephant in the room… our fight before I was kidnapped. The last few hours in the basement, I fought to get back to him, and now I am speechless and have no idea what to do. I watch as he moves around his kitchen. His tall frame towers over his own counters, and his height almost reaches his own ceiling. If he was not my best friend, I would be intimidated by his size.

  “About your argument, darlin’. We gotta discuss that shit.” He slams his fist down onto the sink and peers out the window.

  Sniper knows I can’t respond to him.

  “I know you can’t talk, so stop sayin’ shit in that pretty little head.” He turns to look at me.

  I want to yell and say my head isn’t pretty right now. My face is all kinds of fucked up, but he’d flip out and say my face will heal and there is more important shit to worry about. Which he is right, but I do worry about my looks. I have had so much stolen from me and deep down inside, I am dirtied, soiled, and not pretty at all. All I have is my looks on the outside.

  He goes to the fridge, grabs a beer, and sits down in front of me. “Now about this shit where you said our friendship wasn’t real and was all fake,” he growls. “You fuckin’ know better. What the fuck were you thinkin’?”

  Before I have time to shake my head at him, he holds up his hand for me to wait a moment and gets up to grab a piece of paper and a pen.

  “Now, write what the fuck you were thinkin’ on this piece of paper,” he orders as he shoves it to me.

  Is he for real? He can’t be serious. This is some sort of joke. He wants to discuss it when I cannot even speak? I push the paper back towards him and shake my head. My feelings will not go down on fucking paper. I am barely holding myself together as it is, and he wants me to put my damn thoughts on paper?

  I do not think so.

  “Darlin, you’re not gettin’ out of this,” he says as he sits back down. “You have no idea the thoughts runnin’ around in my head when you were missin’ and the way things were left between us like to drove me mad. We fight, we argue, but we never leave things unsaid. I never want us to be that way again, yeah?”

  He cannot make me cry right now. This isn’t fair. I am the one who should be calling all the shots, and to be honest, my mental state cannot take a reprimand from the man I love right at this moment.

  “Babe… hey, why are you cryin’?” he asks as he moves into the chair beside me, reaches up, and smoothes the hair away from my eyes. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Piper. That isn’t what this is about.”

  Then what is he trying to do? Him being upset with me or wanting to fight about what happened before I was taken isn’t something I can deal with or ever want to process. I want to forget we ever went through that and move on to how we are. I need normalcy from him. He doesn’t understand that he will be what keeps me here mentally. He will be the reason that I heal, not anyone else.

  “You’re breakin’ me here, darlin’. This was supposed to be a good talk, and I fucked it up, like I always fuck shit up,” he growls and goes to stand. I stop him by reaching for his hand and shaking my head no, and lift my free hand up to gesture him to keep going.

  A good talk? I am in desperate need to hear one of those from him.

  “It got me thinkin’, ya know? That there is a reason me and you are so fuckin’ close. That our chemistry is there. It isn’t forced. It’s just there. We don’t need to create it, because we already fuckin’ have it.” He smirks at me.

  Damn that beautiful, crooked smile he has melts me every time.

  Okay. So maybe I do need a piece of paper. I grab it and scribble my question down and pass it over to him. He removes his hand from mine, picks up the pad and reads aloud.

  “So, what are you saying?” He reads my note and chuckles, sets the pad back in front of me and gives me all of his attention. “I’m sayin’, I want to give me and you a shot.” He pauses and then continues. “Why the hell not? We get along, I love you, you love me, and our sex is unfuckingbelievable.”

  My ears can’t be teasing me right now. This is what I wanted. This is what I fought for when breaking out of that basement. A chance with my best friend. A chance to be truly happy.

  I scurry and write down something else. I have to know the answer to this.

  “Is this so you can keep a better eye on me?” he reads and caveman grunts. “Piper, seriously? Baby, I know after this, your gun isn’t leavin’ the holster on your body. This has nothin’ to do with wantin’ to keep a better eye on you. Grant you, tomorrow, when Storm comes to sit with you, I’ll be a nervous wreck leavin’ you, but I know you can handle yourself. You’re fuckin’ Piper,” he taunts. “My badass best friend that weathers anythin’ thrown at her.”

  If he only knew how close I was to giving up, he wouldn’t be saying these nice things to me. He would be so disappointed, but I don’t dare say a word. He would be beyond hurt.

  “This, between me,” his hands ghost between us, “and you, has everythin’ to do with me wantin’ you to be mine.”

  Come again? He is
not suggesting what I think he is. He wants to date? He wants to be boyfriend and girlfriend? What the hell is he saying? I don’t speak guy language.

  “I see the confusion on your face, beautiful. I want to be with you, and more than just friends. We’re both looking for love while we live so carelessly, so why not look for that love together? With one another?”

  Oh, sweet baby Jesus. The tears begin to roll down my face. I fought like hell to survive for him, and maybe deep down, this is what I really wanted. To be with him. To be his and him be mine. Maybe I am dreaming, and I am still in that god awful basement. Sniper wanting to be with me is too good to be true. It is like the heavens are finally pouring the light that I crave down on me.

  “I know you can’t say anythin’ because it’ll mess up your jaw more, but I expect some sort of response here, babe.”

  I snatch up the pad and scribble my words as fast as I can. It takes me forever, but my best friend is patient with me and understands. Another reason I love him. When I hand the paper over, he again reads out loud.

  “When I was down in that basement and going through my past all over again,” he chokes out, “I wanted to give up.” He reads my honest words. “I wanted to give up so bad, but during those last few hours, I thought about our photo booth fun at the mall. You know the day,” he strangles out while he lays the pad down, reaches into his back pocket for his wallet, and hands me our photos before going back to finish reading my true words.

  “Your face was all that replayed in my mind. Your gray eyes, your crooked smile, your boisterous laugh, the way you are with me, and the night we were together that you begged me forget. It was there, stuck in my mind, and it made me fight, fight like hell, because I deserve someone like you. Someone who cares about me. Someone who would die for me,” he whispers those last few words, “I know deep down that you, Perseus… that person is you.”

  Sniper takes a deep breath to regain control of himself and continues. “I believe there is a reason you and I click so well together. Everything about us is in sync, in fine tune together. You know that song you hate that I play over and over again.” He chuckles and nods his head as he reads more. “I am your lighter to your cigarette. You wouldn’t burn without me and vice versa for me.”