Sweet Noel

by Jeanette Lewis

  “Hello, Gina,” Lee said. He looked her up and down. “You look lovely tonight.”

  Her face felt frozen halfway between a smile and shock. Not a good look. She took a breath and tried to rearrange her expression into something more casual. “Where’s Kim?”

  “We broke up,” Lee said. There was no emotion on his face, no indication that a few days earlier, he and Kim had been making googly eyes at each other.

  A strange mixture of relief and regret pounded through Gina. From the minute she learned about Kim, she’d been hoping, praying it wasn’t serious. But suddenly it felt like Lee’s heart was back in her hands, only this time he was a problem instead of a possibility.

  “Why?” Gina asked.

  “Reasons.” He shrugged, then looked at Noel. “Not going too hard on your knee, are you?”

  “It’s fine,” Noel said shortly. He had taken some of his weight off the crutches and stood at his full height, staring down at Lee with cold gray eyes.

  A dart of anxiety pulsed in Gina’s chest. Lee’s height had always been a sore subject, and she’d spent many, many hours trying to persuade him it didn’t matter. But no matter how she’d tried to reassure him, Lee suffered from an extreme case of little big man, always trying to hide his inferiority complex behind an attitude.

  The attitude was definitely in play now. Lee smirked and raised himself on the balls of his feet for a moment before dropping back down. “I’d be happy to take you out for a dance,” he told Gina. “Since Noel obviously can’t.”

  “Who says I can’t?” Noel challenged.

  The two men stared daggers at each other for a moment, then Noel turned to Gina. “How about a dance, sweetheart?”

  Lee flinched at the word “sweetheart,” but he stepped aside as Gina took Noel’s arm.

  “See you around,” she said as they moved to the other end of the ballroom.

  “What’s his deal?” Noel asked. Anger sparked in his eyes.

  Gina hesitated. “I don’t know. I thought he would be here with Kim.”

  Noel gathered her into his arms. “Well, whatever. Not our problem.”

  They began dancing, moving slowly to the music. The last time Gina had worn a fancy gown and slow-danced with a handsome man had been at her wedding. And then, it all felt different. The buzz of the day, the sensation of everyone watching them … she’d been hyped from the high emotion that came from a wedding, but she’d been far from relaxed. Even in Lee’s arms that day and every day after, there’d been an unspoken expectation. Like she somehow could never quite please him. She was never quite enough.

  But with Noel, it felt easy, natural. They stayed mostly in one spot, swaying rather than actually moving to avoid straining his knee, but it was nice and gentle.

  A movement by the windows caught her eye. Lee stood alone, arms folded and watching her. It didn’t make sense. Why would he come to the gala alone? She’d thought Kim was the only reason he’d agreed to come in the first place.

  Her heart twinged. They might have had their differences, but a decade of marriage wasn’t something she wanted to simply brush aside. And yeah, it was Noel who sent her heart racing, but perhaps this would be the first step toward a more amiable relationship with Lee.

  “I hope he’s okay,” she murmured.

  Noel turned to follow her line of sight, and his eyebrows swooped together when he saw her watching Lee. “You’re worried about him?”

  “It’s not like him to come here alone,” Gina said. “It’s really odd.”

  “He’s a big boy. He’ll be fine.”

  “I know, but …”

  “Or is it more than that?” Noel asked. Beneath her fingers, she felt the muscles tense in his arms. “Why do you care so much?”

  “He’s the father of my children. I’m always going to care about what happens to him,” she began. She threw another glance at Lee. Weirdly, she felt like her heart was suddenly being pulled in two directions.

  Three weeks ago, there would have been no question: she’d have been at Lee’s side, hoping to spark some kind of affection, working to find some kind of assurance that there could still be hope for the two of them. But now … she thought of Noel’s kisses. His mouth on hers was gentle, but fiery at the same time, igniting feelings in her she’d never expected to find again.

  “So does that mean—”

  The music died and Noel stopped. They turned to the stage as a redhead stepped to the microphone.

  “Oh, it’s Ariana Carol,” Gina said. “This is going to be good.”

  “You know her?”

  “Well duh,” Gina said. “Everyone known everyone in Indigo Bay.”

  Ari started her song, her flawless voice floating effortlessly above the crowd.

  “Can we dance to this?” Noel asked.

  “Sure, but do you still feel up for it?”

  “My moves aren’t quite what they should be, but I can manage a little back-and-forth motion.” Noel said.

  “Mind if I cut in?” a familiar voice asked near her shoulder. She turned to find Lee standing there, smiling.

  “I mind,” Noel said. But there was a pinch between his eyebrows, one she’d come to realize meant his knee hurt and he was overdoing it.

  On the stage, Ariana’s song soared.

  “It’s okay, Noel,” Gina said. “Why don’t you go take a rest? I’ll find you in a minute.”

  Before he could reply, Lee grabbed her hand and whirled her away, into a dance. Dimly, she caught a flash of Noel’s scowl before they were far away, clear to the other side of the room.

  Noel stood still as Gina spun away from him, held tight in Lee’s arms. They were moving fast, faster than he could dance. He couldn’t tell if Lee was leading or if it was Gina. Either way, they moved together, looking comfortable in only the way longtime couples could.

  She’d certainly jumped at the chance to dance with Lee. Or maybe that was just his paranoia. He wasn’t sure. But he felt dismissed. Ever since they’d spotted Lee, Noel could tell that Gina’s attention was split—half on him, half on her ex-husband. He hadn’t missed the softening in her eyes as she’d looked at Lee, nor the dart of worry marking her face.

  Did she still love him? Noel wasn’t sure. But how could he ever hope to compete with Lee, ten years of history, and two children?

  Okay, maybe he was being way too pessimistic. Gina had meant the kisses they’d shared; he could tell that much. But they’d both been caught up in a whirlwind. It wasn’t too far-fetched to think she’d come down from the high of a new relationship and see that stability and history mattered much more than a few passionate kisses.

  Noel turned his back on them and stepped outside, taking a deep breath of the cooler air. He dug his fingers into the nape of his neck, trying to force back the headache he felt growing there. He didn’t need this kind of complication in his life. The car accident had already done enough damage to his body and his wallet. He didn’t need it to come after his heart too.

  It would be easy to fall in love with Gina and her boys. But could it happen? The universe had a sense of spite, and right now, the odds seemed stacked against him. Losing Eden had broken him, and he was far from glued back together. He couldn’t handle something like that again.

  His phone buzzed in his pocket. Tony was calling.

  Noel answered. “Hey.” He moved away from the open doorway to The Mansion, away from the noise of the crowd and the music.

  “Hey,” Tony said. “I just got off the phone with Coconut Grove. Guess who’s coming to this?”

  “Who?”

  “Dragonfire Energy.”

  Noel paused and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “You’re kidding.”

  “Nope,” Tony crowed. “I guarantee they’re looking for sponsorships.” Dragonfire Energy was the hottest energy drink on the market right now, targeting alternative sports and artistic events—like sand sculpture.

  “If I do the dragon sculpture …” Noel trailed off, unwilling to dream so
big.

  But Tony went there. “They’ll love it, and they could offer you a contract. We’re talking six figures, my man! The prize money from winning the competition is small potatoes compared to what Dragonfire could give you.”

  The possibilities swam in his head. It was everything he’d been working towards.

  “But you have to commit to being here,” Tony said, breaking into his thoughts. “Coconut Grove can only hold your spot if you’re here by the morning of the twenty-second.”

  Noel chewed on his lip. The twenty-second in three days. The competition started early on the twenty-third and would last until judging on Christmas Eve. Winners were announced on Christmas Day, and then the real talk would begin—the talk with the sponsors.

  Dragonfire. He closed his eyes, picturing the company’s logo carved into the base of his sculpture. It was a perfect match. He had a doctor appointment on Monday and it was a twelve-hour drive to New Orleans. Marjorie had offered to pay for an airline ticket and then have Ben drive the van to meet him, but Noel couldn’t risk his tools not arriving on time. He’d have to skip the doctor and drive it.

  “Noel? I need to let them know,” Tony pressed. “Are you in?”

  A gust of wind tousled his hair, and he faced the breeze, taking a deep breath of the salty air. He loved life on the road, traveling the country, no commitments, no schedules, nothing to pin him down. Gina had a life here, locked in by her family and her boys. It’d been a nice idea, but they were simply incompatible, and the sooner he got out of here, the better.

  The Andrews house wasn’t too far from The Mansion. As much as Noel hated to admit it, the signs were clear. It was time for this drifter to drift on. “I’m in,” he told Tony.

  They hung up, and Noel turned toward Seaside Boulevard and began walking.

  Lee gripped her waist firmly, moving fast. Gina peered over his shoulder, trying to spot Noel in the crowd. “Good grief, slow down,” she said. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “Dancing.” Lee replied. “We used to be pretty good at it, remember?”

  “Not really,” Gina said. She saw a tall man, a flash of dark hair in the crowd and her heart jumped, then fell again when she saw it was Penn Westover, not Noel. “I remember you used to find any excuse possible so you wouldn’t have to come to the gala,” she told Lee. “And now you’re here alone. What gives?”

  He shrugged. “Kim and I had a falling-out. No big deal.”

  “She seemed like a big deal at the house,” Gina grumbled.

  “Oh relax,” Lee said. “You’re ruining this.”

  Gina slowed her steps, looking him in the eye. “What’s this?”

  Lee’s hand on her waist tightened, pulling her closer. “I think maybe I already found the one I want, and I let her go,” he said softly.

  The room tipped, the buzzing in Gina’s head growing louder than Ari’s song. “Are you kidding me?” she asked.

  “Nope. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and … well, remember what you said last summer, about not giving up on our family?”

  She tried to remember. They’d been divorced only a few months, and the wounds were still deep and fresh. Gina had called Lee, worn down by trying to deal with her new life as a single mother and the boys’ overwhelming grief. She’d pleaded with him to reconsider, to think of their family and put the boys first.

  “That was a while ago,” Gina said stiffly. “Things are different now.” She looked around the room for Noel, but he wasn’t there. Where could he be?

  “Not so different,” Lee said. “We still have the boys. I still have the condo. We could start again.”

  Start again. Two magic words that she’d have given almost anything to hear six months ago. This was what she’d wished for, prayed for, yearned for. And yet … now that it was happening, it felt flat.

  She took a step back, pulling away from Lee’s arms just as Ari hit her final note. The room burst into applause.

  Gina shook her head. “I can’t deal with this right now,” she told Lee.

  She turned, looking for Noel, when suddenly, a loud bark erupted from somewhere. A murmur of confusion rippled through the crowd. Gina heard more barking, and then a man jumped onto the stage, crashing into Ariana.

  Screams echoed through the room, and Gina and Lee were jostled apart as people surged forward. “What’s going on?” Gina cried out.

  The crowd swarmed in confusion, and Gina fought against them, looking for Noel. Where was he?

  “Gina.” Lee’s hand flashed out and grabbed her wrist. “Let’s go somewhere and talk. Please?”

  She backed away, shaking her head. “I can’t. I have to find Noel.” She picked up her skirts and hurried out the door, searching.

  The walk was longer than Noel had expected. His knee was in worse shape than he’d believed. He gritted his teeth as he took another step, leaning heavily on the crutches. It didn’t totally take away the pain, and his knee throbbed with each step.

  He plowed ahead. He’d get to Gina’s and … then what? His van was off to the side of the detached garage. He could load up and simply drive away. There were plenty of other orthopedic surgeons in the world if he needed another consult, plenty of physical therapists who could give him help if he wanted it.

  His heart panged at the thought of the boys. They would be in bed now, expecting to wake up in the morning to renewed adventures. He’d even been planning a few in the back of his head—more sculptures on the beach, a visit to Indigo Bay’s Main Street. Nothing too crazy yet.

  Well, it was too late. He’d seen the look in Gina’s eyes when she’d spotted Lee. Like dread turning to relief turning to hope when she’d realized he was there alone. It was clear they were meant to be together, their boys needed a family and Lee was a far better candidate than Noel, for a lot of reasons. He’d been caught up in a life that wasn’t even his, and it was time to get back to reality.

  Gina stood on her tiptoes, scanning the room. Noel wasn’t there. She moved around the edge of the dancers, worry staining her heart. Where was he?

  Calm down. There are lots of places he could be. Restrooms, outside getting a breath of fresh air, wandering in the other room among the tables set with items for the silent auction. But her heart beat faster. Something was off.

  Determined not to overreact, she checked the entire building only to confirm what she already knew deep down. Noel was gone. She pulled out her phone from the pocket in her dress and sent a text.

  Where are you?

  When the answer came back, she sighed and rolled her eyes.

  Walking to your parents’ house, he typed.

  You can’t walk that far, you goof!

  But her attempt to keep things light fell flat. Gina stood staring at her phone until the message showed it had been delivered. But no chat bubbles came up. He didn’t answer.

  “Hey, there you are.”

  Gina shoved her phone into the pocket of her dress as Lee appeared at her side.

  “Some drama,” he said with a grin, jerking head toward the stage.

  “I don’t know. I didn’t get the story,” Gina hedged.

  “Still … ouch.” Lee’s eyes softened. “But where were we?”

  “I need to go,” Gina said. She clutched her phone tightly. Noel was walking home. He wasn’t answering her texts. This was bad.

  “Stop running away,” Lee said. “I know things have been weird, but I’m being totally honest with you. I really would like to have a long talk about us. I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and …” He dropped his voice, stepped even closer. “I really miss you, Gina.”

  This was the old Lee, the smooth-talking charmer who used charm instead of threats to get what he wanted. Gina hated that she knew this, yet a small piece of her heart still warmed at his words, still yearned for his approval.

  She hesitated. She’d waited so long hoping to hear him say these words. And now that he had, she felt poised between two worlds, standing on a precipice and trying to
determine which way to jump. Back to the safety of what she knew with Lee? Or onward to the happiness she knew with Noel?

  “Gina?” Lee asked.

  The urge to leave, to go find Noel, pounded through her. At the thought of his name, butterflies soared in her stomach. Yeah, it would be taking a risk. Yeah, she could very well get her heart broken, but … she thought about Miss Lucille. Kind, charming, well-intentioned, but living a life of loneliness. Was that how she wanted to end up?

  But was it fair to the boys? They liked Noel. Was it fair to get their hopes up, to drag them through untested waters and risk their hearts as well as her own?

  “Gina?” Lee asked.

  “I have to go,” she murmured.

  “Yes, let’s go. Let’s go somewhere and talk.”

  “No.” Gina shook her head. “I need to go. I’m going home.”

  “But what about us?”

  “It’s over, Lee. It was over a long time ago, but I’ve only just realized it.”

  “Gina!” he called. “What about the boys?”

  She paused. “The boys will be fine.” With a wry smile, she added, “We’ll take good care of them.”

  She turned and sped through the hallway of The Mansion, hurrying toward her car, toward home, and toward Noel.

  The gravel on the road slid beneath Noel’s shoes, and he gritted his teeth against the fresh twinge in his knee. He only had a few more blocks to go; then he could sit down and rest before he started packing.

  Headlights came around the corner, flashing behind him. A moment later, Gina pulled up to the sidewalk in her yellow car and rolled the passenger window down.

  “Noel, what are you doing?” she called above the hum of the engine.

  “Walking.”

  “Yeah, I can see that. But why? Why did you run out on me?”

  He stopped, and so did she. They faced each other through the open window of the van.

  Noel searched for the right words. “Gina, I think you’re great.”

  Whatever the right words were, they weren’t what had just come out his mouth. Gina’s face turned stony. “But?” she asked.