If You Fall (Brimstone #1)

by S. E. Lund

  Fully alive, my senses awake, my body ready for him.

  I barely noticed the drive to his hotel, absorbed by his mouth on me, his kisses along the curve of my bare shoulder after he’d pushed down the fabric and slid down my bra strap to reveal one breast, nipple and all. I didn’t care if the driver saw Beckett suck my nipple. I was too focused on the warm wetness of his mouth and tongue as he sucked and ran his teeth softly over the hard bud. He slid one hand up my thigh, under my silky dress, until he found my panties and slipped his fingers underneath the fabric.

  I wantonly spread my thighs ever so slightly, because at that moment, I wanted to feel his fingers on me, needed to feel his fingers touch me. He pushed me back and stroked me gently, and when he finally touched my clit, I groaned and that seemed to encourage him.

  Of course, it was then that the car came to a stop and I came back to reality, my eyes flying open. Beckett pulled away and helped straighten my clothes, pulling up my bra strap and the shoulder of my dress. He looked in my eyes and smiled knowingly, then adjusted himself. I couldn’t help but glance down and in the light coming in from the brightly lit hotel entrance, I saw his erection straining at his pants.

  The knowledge that in only a few moments, I’d have him in my hand, in my mouth, in my body, made my heart race, a thrill of pure excitement in my belly.

  As we struggled out of the limo, Beckett helping me, holding my hand, I imagined sitting on him, riding him while he leaned forward and sucked my nipples, one after the other.

  Beckett said something to the driver and then pulled me into the hotel, past the concierge and the night desk clerk, who nodded at him.

  We made our way down the hallways, the familiar decorations reminding me of the failed attempt to do this last night.

  Tonight, I would not balk when he removed his shirt and I saw his scar again. Tonight, I couldn’t wait to get into the room with him and take off his clothes so I could see what was underneath the crisp white shirt and sober grey suit.

  We took the elevator, and as soon as the doors closed, he wasted no time and leaned against the wall, his hands on my hips, pulling me against him so that I felt his erection. We kissed as the elevator rose, and then separated when it opened to the top floor.

  Beckett pulled me down the hallway and opened the door to his suite. He admitted me into the dimly lit interior, and before I could even put my bag down, he closed the door and pressed me against the wall beside it, taking my bag out of my hand and dropping it to the floor.

  “I can’t wait to see you naked,” he practically growled against the skin of my neck. The sound of his need, of his desire, coupled with the press of his erection against my belly made my knees weak. I didn’t hesitate to help him when he lifted the hem of my dress and pulled it over my head, revealing my lacy bra and thong. I stood before him in my undies and heels and he stepped back and admired me, his eyes roving down my body from my eyes to my feet and back. I couldn’t hold back a smile. He seemed as if he hadn’t seen a woman undressed for a while, but I couldn’t believe that. He was far too hot and good looking to go very long without getting laid.

  I let him look at me for as long as he wanted. He pulled me over to the bed and once more, he sat on the side of the bed and pulled me between his spread thighs.

  “Let’s continue what we started last night,” he said in a husky voice. Then, he pulled down one strap of my bra and exposed my breast to the cool air. Immediately, my nipple hardened and puckered and he responded by covering it with his mouth, his tongue stroking it, sucking it between his lips while his hands stroked down my body.

  I stood there with my eyes closed, my hands resting on his shoulders and enjoyed the delicious sensations while he sucked and licked my nipple. He moved to my other breast and repeated the treatment, and finally he undid the back of my bra so that it slid off me and fell to the floor.

  Once more he pressed his face between my breasts and his hair tickled my skin while his tongue teased my nipples, his whiskers brushing me as he moved from one breast to the other. My clit throbbed in response and I felt my flesh swell. But I waited, wanting to see what he would do and what kind of lover he was.

  He stood up, and turned me around, pushing me back onto the bed so that I lay back, my legs dangling off the side. He bent over me and kissed my knees, then moved up farther, kissing each thigh in turn before hovering over my lace thong. I leaned back on my elbows, watching him, my heart pounding. The light from the bedside lamp cast everything in a warm glow.

  He licked me through my thong, his tongue running up from between my thighs to my mound, my clit aching for his touch. Then he hooked his thumbs in each side of my thong and pulled it down and off one leg and then the other. Before I could respond, he pressed my thighs open so that I was fully exposed. He stood with his hands on my thighs, keeping them open, and stared down at me, his eyes hungry to see my pussy spread like that.

  I was not completely shaved – just a bikini wax that left a small strip of pubic hair on my mound. Finally, he seemed to have waited long enough and knelt down, pulling me down to the edge of the bed, slipping one of my legs over his shoulder.

  “I’ve been wanting to taste you all night,” he said with a gruff voice, filled with lust.

  I swallowed hard, waiting for him to lick me, and finally, he bent down and ran his tongue between the lips of my sex, sliding up to stroke my entire slit and then my clit. I moaned out loud, and that spurred him on. He clamped his mouth over me, covering me completely, and began to lick and suck, his tongue sliding between my lips, then dipping inside of me, thrusting inside, before he took my clit between his lips and sucked.

  I groaned and spread my thighs wider, my eyes closing, completely absorbed with the sensation of his warm wet tongue all over me, inside me, swirling around me. When he slipped a finger inside of me, then two, I shuddered, because I was already so close, I knew the added pressure would soon take me over the edge.

  He pressed his fingers up and began to slowly stroke me while he sucked and licked my clit. I began to thrust my hips in time with his fingers, pressing my pussy against his mouth like a wanton woman. Then I came with a cry, my body shuddering around his fingers, my hips thrusting against his tongue.

  I fell back, my eyes closed, breathing hard while my orgasm waned, my body still clenching around him. Finally, he stopped, but kept his mouth on me. My body pulsed as my orgasm faded, and he seemed to enjoy feeling my spasms under his mouth. When he licked me once more, I shuddered and it was almost too much, but not quite.

  I glanced up at him when he stood. “Hold that thought,” he said with a grin and began to strip off his clothes. I sat up and helped, wanting to see what was underneath the silk suit and starched white shirt. While he unbuttoned his cuffs, I unlatched his belt and unzipped, so that his pants fell down and off his narrow hips. He wore boxer briefs which captured his very thick and long erection. He stepped out of his pants and I helped him by removing each sock in turn.

  When he had his shirt off, I stood up and pulled him down for a kiss. We stood together, arms around each other for a moment, and now it was my turn to taste him, to pleasure him. I pulled back and examined his scar, which ran from beneath one ear and around to the base of his throat. It didn’t shock me this time. I was ready for it, and instead of taking me back to Dan and my own loss, I thought about how brave he must have been to volunteer and go over to Iraq. How he must have feared for his life when the terrorist – or whoever did this to him – slit his throat.

  He hadn’t wanted to talk about it and I understood, but I was so curious. If I got a chance, I planned on asking him about it when we weren’t in such an intimate moment. Instead, I kissed it, and then trailed my lips down from it to his shoulder and chest, licking one of his nipples and smiling when he groaned softly in response. While I moved to the other nipple, one hand slid down his back to cup one of his nice hard buttocks, firm and round beneath my hand. He pressed his hips and his delicious erection against me
in response.

  I sat on the side of the bed and focused on his abdomen, which was rock hard and sculpted, running my tongue along one hip crest and down. I wanted to tease him as much as I could, wanting him to ache for me the way he made me ache for him. I pulled the boxer briefs down and his erection sprang out, almost hitting me in the cheek. I smiled and removed the briefs, and he stepped out of them eagerly. Then he stood before me, fully naked, waiting. Finally, I ran my tongue over his erection, from the base to the tip, and received a moan in response. I pressed my mouth over the head and ran my tongue over the head in slow circles.

  “Oh, God,” he said in a voice thick with lust.

  I grabbed his hips and pulled him closer, then looked up, catching his eye while I leaned forward and licked the head of his cock, sampling the fluid that glistened in the tip.

  “Oh, fuck,” he said and inhaled deeply.

  I took the head in my mouth and sucked, running my tongue over the head and around the rim lazily, before taking more of his length into my mouth. He gave a little mmm of approval when I took him as deeply inside my throat as I could without gagging, cupping his heavy balls in one hand while I pulled him closer with the other hand.

  “Fuck, I need to be inside of you right now,” he growled and pulled out of my mouth. He lifted me up and pushed me back onto the bed, then started once more to shower my body with kisses and licks, brining me back to full arousal.

  When he got back down to my pussy, I was groaning with lust, my body aching to feel him inside of me.

  “You want me to fuck you now?” he said in a smoky voice as he lay over top of me, his cock pressing against my clit, sliding against it.

  I nodded and licked my lips, barely able to speak.

  “Say it,” he demanded. “Ask me.”

  I closed my eyes. “Fuck me now,” I whispered.

  “No,” he said and took my face in his hand. “Look me in the eyes and ask me.”

  I opened my eyes and looked into his. “Beckett,” I said, my voice throaty. “Fuck me now.”

  He bent down and kissed me hard and then reached inside the bedside table drawer for a condom, which he removed from the foil wrapper and then unrolled over his very hard and very thick erection. When he was done, he placed my feet on his shoulders and stroked the head of his cock against my clit, sliding it down to the entrance to my body and back again, several times. I groaned, thrusting my hips up to meet his every stroke. Finally, when I was almost blind with desire, he guided his cock inside of my body. When the tip slid inside, it felt so good I shuddered and I knew it wouldn’t take long for me to come again once he began thrusting.

  “Fuck me,” I said softly.

  He slid his entire length in me and he was so nice and thick and hard, I gasped.

  “Oh, that feels so damn good,” he said, his eyes closing. He remained still like that, his cock filling me up completely, and we both panted for a moment.

  He bent down and took one nipple into his mouth, sucking hard and that made me squeeze around him, clenching around his cock.

  He rose up, his hands pulling my hips against him with each thrust. He watched himself fucking me, his eyes moving up over my naked body to my face and then back down to where our bodies joined.

  “You are so fucking beautiful,” he whispered. Then he stroked his thumb over my clit slowly, deliberately, timing it with each thrust. My orgasm built, and I knew it would only take a few more thrusts like that to make me come.

  I met his thrusts and soon my orgasm crashed through my body, from my core out, up my chest and down my legs it was so intense. It seemed to go on and on as Beckett thrust, keeping his thumb on my clit while I shuddered.

  Then he finished, thrusting fast and deep, his face red from exertion and his expression strained.

  “Oh, God,” he said when his orgasm started. He grunted with each ejaculation, then fell on top of me, breathing hard. “Oh, God, that was so good,” he said, his voice husky. “You are so fucking good…”

  I smiled, my eyes closed. “Only good?” I said in a teasing voice.

  “You are fucking great,” he said and when I opened my eyes to see his response, he smiled back. He bent down and kissed my throat, then my nipple, tugging at it gently with his teeth. “I want to fuck you again right away.”

  I laughed and when he bent down to the other nipple, I ran my hands through his hair.

  “You gotta give a girl a rest now and then.”

  “No rest for the wicked,” he replied, his breath warm on my nipple. He sucked it once more and my body clenched in response.

  I glanced at the clock radio on the bedside table. It was nearly one o’clock. I had to get home.

  “I have to get home soon,” I said, feeling sad I couldn’t stay all night. “I have to work and… I don’t know if I want to stay out the entire night. I live with Dan’s parents…”

  He leaned back up and kissed me. “Damn,” he said and pouted. “I wanted to do that again and again. I could get addicted to watching you come while I fuck you and eat you.”

  That made my body clench in renewed desire. “I’d like that, but maybe some other night. Before you leave?”

  “Count on it. We’ll start earlier so we have more time. When are you off tomorrow?”

  “All evening,” I said.

  He kissed me again and then slid out, removing the condom from his still semi-hard cock. He was deliciously thick and big and I knew I could have many orgasms with him if I let myself.

  “Good,” he said after dropping the condom in the trashcan beside the bed. “I’ll pick you up from work, and then I’ll eat you until you come, and then I’ll fuck you until you come, and then we’ll eat supper and then we’ll do it again. How does that sound?”

  I smiled. “You have it all planned out?”

  “Eating you and fucking you so I can watch you come again and again?” he said with a huge grin. “Absolutely. Yes. Count on it. Promise.”

  I smiled when he pulled me up from the bed and kissed me again.

  “I’ll hold you to that promise.”

  “I am a man of my word.” He winked at me and helped me get dressed, taking care to fasten my bra and help me with my thong, then pulling the dress over my head. He stroked my hair to smooth it and then kissed me once more.

  “There you go, beautiful lady,” he said softly. “I wish you could stay for round two, but we’ll do it tomorrow.”

  I helped him with his shirt, and when I did, I saw a small tattoo in the middle of his strong back. I ran my fingers lightly over it, tracing the design. A stylized dragon’s head in a circle. It was the same symbol on his ID for Brimstone.

  “I like your tattoo,” I said and pulled one sleeve over his shoulder.

  “Thanks,” he said and smiled at me as he fastened a few buttons. “Brandon, Graham and I all have one. We were in the same Special Operations Forces Team in Afghanistan. It’s a dragon’s head and symbolizes Brimstone.”

  I nodded and watched while he put on the rest of his clothes. Then, I went to the bathroom for a pee. When I returned, he was wearing his suit pants and white shirt, unbuttoned several buttons. He opened the door, handing me my bag.

  “It’s not too late to change your mind,” he said with a smile. “If you stay, I promise to make you come twice more. And then again, when we wake up…”

  I laughed and touched his cheek. “You sure know how to tempt a lady. I really have to go.”

  “I understand,” he said with a sigh. “Can’t blame a guy for trying…”

  He walked me out to the waiting limo and kissed me once before I slid inside. As the limo drove off, I glanced back and waved at Beckett, wishing I could stay but not wanting any questions from Dan’s parents when they noticed I stayed the night somewhere else. Especially not with a new man.

  I was old enough to do what I wanted, but I hesitated because of Dan’s parents. I wanted to wait until after the memorial and my return to Manhattan before I officially started seeing n
ew men.

  I thought it was the least I could do.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Beckett

  I should have let her go at that point, never to see her again. I should have sent her back to Dan’s parent’s home and said goodbye forever.

  I couldn’t.

  I wanted her more than I had ever wanted a woman.

  As the limo drove off, the reality of what I had done came back to me all at once. I’d fucked the widow of the man who died saving my life. There was nothing wrong with that, if she knew who I was and decided to fuck me anyway, but she had no idea. Instead, I was a total asshole. I should have just walked away and never seen her again. She might be momentarily hurt that I broke my promise, but she’d forget about me all too soon.

  She was the kind of woman I would have wanted to become involved with seriously – if I did that sort of thing anymore.

  But I didn’t.

  Instead, I went back to my room and after I stripped off my clothes, I flopped onto the bed and stared at the ceiling.

  Fuck…

  What the fuck was I going to do now?

  I reached for my cell and dialed Casey. I could text her, and it was late, but I needed to hear her voice.

  “What’s up?” she said, her voice sleepy. “Are you okay?”

  I bit my lip, feeling bad about calling her so late. “I fucked up.”

  “Let me guess…You fucked the widow?”

  “Yep,” I said, running my hand through my hair. “Miranda. Beautiful, intelligent, funny, sexy as hell, Miranda…”

  “Sounds like you’re hot for this woman. Confess to her now, before it’s too late. You wait too long and she’ll feel really betrayed. I’m telling you, Beckett. I speak the truth. You know I’m right. That’s why you called me.”

  “I know, I know…” I sighed heavily and bit my bottom lip again. “She’ll be pissed.”

  “Rightly so.” Then, I heard the impatience in Casey’s voice. “Tell her. Confess. Let her call you a sonofabitch. Say that she’s right and you deserve it. Tell her how you feel. Why you did it.”