The Cowboys Heart 1

by Helen Evans

“Are you threatening me?”

  He flung his head back and let out a loud cackle. “Nope. Don’t need to threaten you.”

  I cleared my throat and straightened my back, making myself sit a little taller. “Then I suggest you leave. You’re all close to trespassing, and one thing my grandmother taught me was how to shoot a rifle.” It was a total bluff, but they didn’t know that. I hoped. And even if it were true, there was no way I could ever actually aim a gun at anyone let alone pull the trigger.

  “Little miss thing is all tough now. Guess fucking your neighbor gives you a renewed confidence, huh?” Buck spit on the ground, grinning. “Maybe I should give you a go, see what it does for me.”

  “Uh,” I huffed, making a disgusted face. “You’re so vile.” I shuddered at the thought of that man getting anywhere near me.

  “If you only knew…” one of his brothers muttered.

  “Yeah,” Buck said, spitting again, “you might wanna rethink who you’re calling vile. Your precious Hudson isn’t as wonderful as you think.”

  My heart stopped, and my ears burned hot. “What does that mean?” I had no idea why I asked, or why I was still here listening to them. They weren’t worth my time, yet that nagging voice in the back of my mind wouldn’t let me leave.

  Buck shrugged lazily. “Just hope you’re enjoying Hudson because we sent him to you, Heather. He’s one of us, and his sole goal has been to convince you to sell.” He laughed, and his brother’s joined him. What do you have to say to that, Miss haughty-taughty, Buck said with a smirk? I was too shocked to respond. My response must have been what they were looking for because, they all turned and walked away, laughing and giving each other high fives.

  Hudson was only with me because he wanted to convince me to sell? No. That wasn’t true. Buck was lying. They were bitter because they didn’t get the ranch and the oil and the money, and now they were trying to get under my skin, make me question everything, try to drive me away.

  I turned Biscuit back toward the house, my mind racing with the possibility that Buck might be right about Hudson. I didn’t want to believe Hudson would do that. He wasn’t that kind of man. He was sweet and caring and loving. The way he looked at me and touched me – a man with an ulterior motive couldn’t do that. No. No man could fake the emotion Hudson showed her. It just wasn’t possible.

  But… Things, memories, slowly drifted into my mind. Like, how he asked me out of the blue about selling the ranch. His severe lack of enthusiasm when I told him about the oil. His stern warning to stay away from the Jennings. Originally, I’d thought he told me that to keep me safe, but now I wondered if he told me because he was afraid I’d find out the truth about him. The closer I got to the house, the angrier I became.

  What was I supposed to do now? Should I just ignore what Buck said, chalk it up to the ramblings and accusations of a bitter man? Or should I confront Hudson? Part of me believed if I asked Hudson about this, he’d laugh it off and tell me Buck was crazy. But what if he didn’t?

  When I first suspected Phillip of cheating, I ignored it. I discounted my friend when she’d told me she saw Phillip and another woman together. I’d trusted my husband, believed he wouldn’t do that to me. I ignored my instincts, and when I finally did open my eyes and see the truth, it was too late. I vowed to never blindly trust a man so much. I knew what I had to do. I had to confront Hudson and make him answer for Buck’s accusations.

  ***

  “Hey, baby.” Hudson came up behind me and kissed my neck. “I’ve missed you today.”

  I stood still, unresponsive to his affection. I’d spent all day stewing over the things Buck had said to me. One minute I was angry at Buck for saying such awful things about Hudson while another minute I was livid with Hudson for lying to me, using me, making me fall in love with him and then breaking my heart. I was emotionally exhausted and didn’t know if I was strong enough to face him, to say all the things I knew I had to say.

  “What’s wrong?” He turned me to face him, concern etched on his handsome face.

  I took a shaky breath and moved away from him. There was no way I could have a serious talk with him when he was touching me, tempting me to forget everything and fall into his arms. “I had a run in with Buck Jennings today.”

  Hudson raised a brow and crossed his arms over his chest. His face went blank, his eyes dull. “Did he hurt you?”

  “Not physically.”

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  I sighed and went into the living room. He followed. “Heather, talk to me. What did Buck do to you?”

  “He didn’t do anything to me. But he had a lot to say.” I watched him closely, looking for any signs of deception or guilt in his eyes. I didn’t see anything right off, but that didn’t mean he was lying. He could just be a really skilled liar.

  “And what exactly did he have to say that’s making you act so cold toward me?”

  I let out a harsh laugh. Oh, he had a lot of nerve. “He told me you’ve been working with them, that the only reason you’re with me is because you want to convince me to sell the ranch to them, that you knew about the oil here.”

  Shock registered on his face, and then he took a small step back, away from me. To most, it wouldn’t mean much of anything, but to me, it said volumes. I crossed my arms over my chest. “Is it true?” I asked. “Is that the only reason you got involved with me?”

  “What? No.” He shook his head adamantly. “I love you, Heather. You have to know that.”

  I sighed. Deep down, I did know that. I didn’t doubt his love for me, but I did doubt the sincerity of it. “Is it true, Hudson? Has this whole thing between us been nothing but a ruse, a way for you and your cohorts to get your hands on my grandmother’s ranch, the oil? The money?” I bit out. To think he’d been sleeping with me in the hopes of getting money made me sick to my stomach made me feel like a glorified whore.

  Hudson dragged a hand through his hair and stepped toward me. I stepped back, refusing to let him get too close. “Damn it.” He rubbed at the back of his neck and shook his head. “It’s not what you think.”

  Those words destroyed me, and I whimpered, cupping my hand over my mouth. “You used me.”

  “No.” He took my hands into his and continued to shake his head. “When Buck first came here to talk to you, when he asked you to sell and you refused, he came to me. He told me he knew there was oil on this land, and if I helped convince you to sell, he’d split the profits with me. So, yes, the very first time I came here, I had done so with the intent of getting you to sell.”

  I jerked my hands from his, disgusted and heartbroken. Tears burned my eyes, and my throat felt raw, unable to form any words. And even if I could physically speak, I doubt my mind would come up with something intelligible.

  “But then I saw you, and things changed. I got to know you, know Jamie… And I couldn’t go through with it. I told Buck I was out, that if he wanted this land, he’d have to convince you himself.” Hudson licked his lips and swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing hard in his throat. “I fell in love with you, Heather, and I don’t ever want to do anything to hurt you. I should’ve told you, and I’m sorry I didn’t.”

  I closed my eyes, forced every ounce of courage I had to the surface. I loved Hudson with all my heart, more than I ever loved my husband, but what Hudson had done hurt worse than everything Phillip ever did. How could I have been so stupid? I opened my eyes and stared at him through my tears. I prayed this was all a nightmare, that I’d wake up and be in bed next to him, wrapped safely in his arms.

  “Heather… Please, say something. Tell me you understand, that you forgive me.” There was so much pain and longing in his voice, I almost caved and did what he asked.

  “I can’t,” I whispered.

  “Don’t do this,” he said.

  “Don’t do what? Call you on your bullshit?” I shouted. He wasn’t going to blame me, make me feel bad for his actions. “Get out.”

  He raised
his eyebrows, his eyes wide in shock. “What?”

  “Get out,” I said more firmly, planting my feet on the floor and pointing toward the front door. “I have no room in my life for liars and users.”

  “I’m not a liar or a user,” he ground out through gritted teeth. His hands were clenched into fists by his sides. “You know me, Heather. I’ve shared parts of myself with you that I’ve never shared with anyone else. Do you think I’d do that if all I wanted was this damn ranch?”

  I shrugged, refusing to meet his gaze any longer. I really just wanted him to go so I could go upstairs and cry in peace. I wanted to mourn this relationship, say goodbye to the man I’d thought Hudson was so I could pick up the pieces and move on. Just like I’d done after my divorce, I’d grieve then move on. Like my grandmother, I was a survivor.

  “I don’t give a shit about this ranch or the oil or the money,” he said, taking my face into his hands and making me look into his eyes. “I. Love. You, Heather. I love Jamie, and all I want is to be with you, to have a future.”

  I pulled away from him, sniffling. His mention of Jamie steeled my resolve. No matter how I felt about Hudson, I had to think of Jamie, protect him, and not let anyone into his life who could hurt him.

  “Please forgive me, Heather. Please,” he begged.

  “I’m sorry, Hudson. I can’t get past the fact that you lied to me, used me. Even though you backed out, you still lied to me. Now please, get out.”

  He stared at me for several minutes, and I expected him to say something more, to try to change my mind, but with a sad nod, he left the house. I blew out a pent up breath, and then the tears started. They streamed down my face faster than I could wipe them away. I slouched down to the floor, tucked my knees to my chest, and cried.

  I thought being betrayed by Phillip was bad, but kicking Hudson out of my life hurt worse. There was a physical ache in my chest, a growing hole I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to fill. Why did every man I got involved with have to be a jerk? Well, this would teach me to date again. I was done with dating, with love, with men. I was fine being single.

  Taking a deep breath, I wiped my face and stood. It would take a while for me to get over Hudson, but I refused to let him keep me down for too long. “Jamie!” I shouted up the stairs. “Pack a bag. We’re leaving.”

  Jamie came down the stairs, took one look at me and furrowed his brows. “Where are we going?”

  “To the city.” I turned on my heel and walked away, thankful he didn’t ask me what was wrong, and not wanting to have an argument with him. I knew the moment I told him where we were going he was going to assume it was a permanent trip. When we were on the road, I’d tell him the truth, but until then, I just needed to get out of this house and away from everything for a while.

  Chapter Ten

  I put the house key in Richard’s palm and closed his fingers around it, holding his hand in mine. I smiled at him.

  “Are you sure about this, Miss Heather?” he asked, placing his hand over mine.

  “Yes.” I nodded. “You’ve been so wonderful to Jamie and I since we arrived, and Noreen trusted you, so that alone is good enough for me.” My grandmother was a smart woman, and she had impeccable instincts when it came to people. In fact, when I told her Phillip and I were engaged, she’d told me I was making a mistake that the marriage wouldn’t last. At first I thought she was just being mean, saying hurtful things because she knew I would be moving to the city and she wanted me to stay here. If only I had actually listened to her, I would’ve saved myself so much heartache.

  He pulled his hand from mine. “I’ll do you proud.”

  “I know you will.” I grabbed my purse and pulled the strap over my shoulder. “And if you need anything at all, just call me. I’ll be available night or day.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “We won’t be gone for too long…” Although I had no idea how long that would actually be. A week, maybe two. It certainly wouldn’t be much longer than that. The reservations I made were only for two weeks. I’m sure I could always extend them if needed, but I didn’t want to mislead Jamie, make him think this move was permanent.

  “I’m ready!” Jamie said, bounding down the stairs, suitcase in tow. “I just spoke to Devon. He’s going to get my assignments for me.”

  “Great,” I beamed. It warmed me to know he was taking the initiative with school. Not to mention, gathering assignments meant he accepted that we’d be coming back here. “All right, let’s go.” I placed a quick kiss to Richard’s cheek, smiled, and then left.

  I popped the trunk on the car and Jamie put our bags inside while I put my laptop bag in the back seat. Originally, I was going to book a flight, but decided it was best to just drive. It would give Jamie and I time to reconnect, for me to think about this while situation with Hudson – who had called daily for the past four days, apologizing, begging me for a second chance – and it would prevent me from having to explain to my parents what happened. My mother would accuse me of running again, and I didn’t want to have to spend time justifying my decisions to her. It was none of her business. Plus, this little trip would give Jamie time to see his old friends, which I knew he wanted to do.

  As we drove down the road, past Hudson’s property, I saw him standing on his front porch. He straightened and stared at me, and I swore I saw a hint of expectation in his face, like he was hoping I’d pull into his driveway. But I didn’t. I averted my gaze back to the road and ignored him. It wasn’t easy though. It was tempting to turn around, go back, forgive him; pretend none of this ever happened.

  The pain in my heart though, the betrayal, it ran too strong, cut too deep. I couldn’t just forgive him. I couldn’t let him get away with what he’d done to me, to Jamie. I could handle him hurting me. I could not handle him betraying Jamie in that way. “How about some music?” I said, deciding not to let Hudson or my thoughts of him get me down. I cranked up a country station, put on my sunglasses, and looked forward to our mini-vacation.

  ***

  I’d been in the city for just over a week now. Jamie had spent every day with his friends, and I was back to worrying about him every second he wasn’t with me. Now I knew why I would never move back here. All the noise never used to bother me, but now… I couldn’t sleep a wink with all the chaos. Every small noise, every siren would wake me; make me fear that something had happened to Jamie. By the time we left, I was going to need another vacation just to catch up on my sleep.

  “Hey, Mom. I’m going to Vick’s. I’ll be home before dark.” Jamie kissed my cheek and left.

  I sighed. So much for using this trip to reconnect. He spent less time with me now than he had back at the ranch. That might have bothered me quite a bit if it wasn’t for the fact that I’d reconnected with some old friends. In the week I’d been back, I’d been invited to dinner several times, bowling, a movie, and a yoga class. I went to every single one of them. I had to, otherwise I’d sit in this hotel suite alone, missing Hudson, tempted to call him. And I wasn’t ready for that yet, wasn’t sure I could forgive him.

  My cell phone rang, and I grabbed it. Part of me kind of hoped it was Hudson again, but it wasn’t. “Hey, Callie. What’s up?”

  “I’m headed to the mall. I have to buy a cocktail dress for a work thing at the end of the month. Want to tag along?”

  “Yes,” I said a little too eagerly. “I’ll be to your house in ten minutes.”

  Callie laughed. “Great. I’ll even buy lunch.”

  “And I’ll buy the daiquiris.” I laughed and grabbed my purse, leaving the suite. It felt good to laugh again, to have a social life, to interact with friends. Even before I’d moved back to Texas, I hadn’t felt this alive. I’d been so engrossed in work and caring for Jamie I’d avoided life outside of the house and office. When I returned to the ranch, I was going to make it a point to look up some of my old high school friends, start living life again now that I was over my divorce, and slowly getting over Hudson….. I thin
k. I frowned. Despite everything, I missed him something terrible. Maybe a phone call wouldn’t hurt.

  ***

  My cheeks hurt from laughing and smiling so much, but I felt good, lighthearted and positive. I’d be sad to leave in five days, but at least I could return home with a renewed sense of purpose. I’d left the city so abruptly, I hadn’t had time to make peace with the decision, but now I had, and it was time to look forward, not back.

  I dug my key card from my purse and walked into the lobby. Then I stopped cold. My heart leapt into my throat and raced, and I blinked rapidly, unable to believe what was right before my eyes. “Hudson?” He stood there, in the middle of the lobby in dress pants, a button down shirt with a tie, and a large bouquet of red roses.

  “Hi, Heather.” He smiled sheepishly then looked down.

  I couldn’t help but smile. He looked so out of place here, but also so scared and unsure. “What’re you doing here?”

  “Looking for you.” He stepped toward me and held out the flowers. “These are for you.”

  I took them and inhaled their sweet scent. “Thank you.”

  He nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Before you say anything, I just want you to know how sorry I am. I didn’t come here with any expectations, okay? I only want to have a few minutes to talk to you.”

  A piece of me melted at his words. “Would you like to come up to the suite?”

  “Yes,” he said, relief swamping his words and face.

  Silently, I led him up to the suite and tossed my purse on the chair. “Would you like something to drink? I believe I have some water, and the mini-fridge is fully stocked.”

  “No, I’m good. Thanks.” He sat in one of the chairs, legs parted, and elbows on his knees. “Thanks for agreeing to talk to me.”

  I nodded and took the chair across from him. “Well, I was going to call you tonight anyway, and you did travel all this way. It wouldn’t have been right to turn you away.”

  Hudson smiled, and my stomach fluttered. His smile always had that effect on me. Even after a couple of weeks apart, I still felt the same way about him I had the day I’d met him. It was intense and if I hadn’t been sitting, I probably would’ve stumbled backward.