by Liv Brywood
“Have you burped him?” she asked.
“Burped? No.”
“You have to burp him before you feed him. After too. Otherwise air gets trapped.”
“That was further down the list.” He added several logs to the smoldering embers in the fireplace.
“You have a list?” She turned the baby over her shoulder. “Can you grab a rag?”
“The baby book has a list.” He grabbed a kitchen towel and handed it to her.
“Which book?”
He held it up to show her the title. “Rusty said it’s the best baby book.”
“That man has everything in his store.”
“Everything but a baby screaming decoder,” he grumbled.
“If someone came up with an app that would tell you why the baby was crying, they’d be a billionaire overnight. Right after my sister had Peony, she said she would have given up a limb to figure out how to get her daughter to stop crying.”
“Tempting.”
“Let’s see if this helps.” She tossed one end of the towel over her shoulder before laying Tucker across it. She gently patted his back.
“I was reading the teething section when you showed up.”
“It’s possible, but since you haven’t burped him, gas is the most likely culprit.”
Seconds later, Tucker belched. He immediately stopped crying and grabbed a fistful of her hair. He cooed and tangled his fingers through her ponytail.
“That’s better.” She gently untangled his fingers and let him wrap his hand around her thumb. “See, you just needed a little burpy-burp, didn’t you? Yes, you did.”
As Emily made baby sounds and talked to Tucker, Kade slumped into an overstuffed chair near the fireplace.
“Thank you for figuring it out.”
She laid Tucker down on the couch and sat beside him. “I’m concerned about his welfare.”
“What?” His head snapped up. “Why?”
“The dirty diaper on the porch, the screaming.”
“Babies cry and poop. That seems to be ninety-percent of what they do. You can’t blame me for not knowing exactly what to do. I haven’t even had him for twenty-four hours. Did you expect me to become an expert overnight?”
“Calm down.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “No, I don’t expect you to know everything right away, but it’s not a good sign when I get here and it’s freezing in the home, there’s trash on the floor, and the baby’s screaming bloody murder.”
“I would have figured it out eventually.”
“Before or after he passed out from exhaustion?”
“You want me to fail, don’t you?” His bear paced across his ribcage. The beast was agitated, but not enough to threaten a shift, not yet at least.
“I don’t want you to fail.”
“I think you do. I think you and everyone else in this town expects me to fail. Well it’s not going to happen. Come check on me all you want, but I’m not going to fuck this up. I may have fucked up the rest of my life, but I’m not going to fuck up my son’s.”
He clamped his mouth shut, stunned by his outburst. He hadn’t wanted to scream the truth, but he did it anyway. Controlling his temper wasn’t one of his strong suits.
“Your temper is another issue.”
“I didn’t mean to yell.”
“I’m worried about you,” she said softly.
The concern in her eyes made his snappy response die on his lips. He swallowed the lump in his throat. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone cared about how he was doing. His family never called to check up on him; he didn’t have many friends outside of work. He was basically alone. Maybe that’s why the softness in her tone stopped him from barking a response.
“I know I can do this,” he said. “But… I’m worried too. I don’t know anything about babies. I’ve got a book, and the internet, and if things really got bad, I’m sure I could take him over to my mom’s place. But, I need to do this alone.”
“Why?”
“To prove that I can.”
“Come here.” She patted the couch beside her.
He climbed out of the chair and took a seat, careful to sit as far away from her as possible so he wouldn’t crowd her. She moved closer. When she took his hand in hers, his belly somersaulted.
“What happened to you, Kade?” she asked. “You were never like this before.”
“Like what?”
“Angry. Combative. Pissed off at the world. The Kade I knew was a sweet, caring boy… at least in the beginning…”
“That was a long time ago. People change.”
“I know. I’ve seen it, for better and for worse. Which way will you go now that you have a baby to think about?”
Her cornflower blue eyes glistened as flames danced in the fireplace. Her dewy red lips, plump and entirely too kissable, beckoned. Without thinking, he cupped her face in his hands and lowered his mouth to hers. What began as a tentative kiss transformed into something darker, hotter, and totally inappropriate. He should have stopped, but he had to taste her.
* * *
Fire burned through Emily’s flesh as Kade slipped his tongue between her lips. She should have stopped him. Kissing him was completely unprofessional, but she couldn’t resist him. She’d been wanting to touch him from the moment she’d walked into the cabin. Although she’d never admit it, she couldn’t stop thinking about him and the magical nights they’d shared together. Had it really been ten years? It seemed like yesterday, because she still remembered every inch of his body.
Instead of pushing him away, she leaned in. Her tongue glided across his in a heated kiss that fused them together. His arms encircled her body. As he pulled her into his lap, she moaned.
Ten years ago, she’d fallen under his spell and it had ended in total disaster. Why tempt fate again? If she let Kade Hunter back into her life, she wasn’t sure she’d have the strength to push him away again. He was a mess. A bar-brawling, heavy-drinking, barely employed disaster—but she couldn’t stop thinking about him.
Even moving to Billings hadn’t been enough to get him out of her mind. She’d kept tabs on him over the years, but he’d never changed. He was still totally irresponsible and not husband material. Not that she was looking for a husband. She was married to her job and had no intention of finding a mate any time soon. And even if she had been looking for a mate, she never would have chosen someone like Kade. What would the other deputies think? It would completely ruin the professional reputation she’d worked so hard to achieve.
Kade’s hands slipped under her sweater. The shock of his cool fingers against her heated flesh sent goosebumps skittering across her belly. Her nipples tightened as his roaming hands skimmed up to cup her breasts through her bra. With only a thin barrier of fabric to keep them apart, she felt every inch of his rough hands on her.
She was drowning in him. A heady musk, the scent of wild masculinity, rose up to intoxicate her. Her bear woke and pranced across her chest before stopping to inhale his scent. The beast’s approval came in the form of a low growl. The sound got lost in their increasingly frantic kiss.
Breathless and overwhelmed by the pinch of his thumbs against her nipples, she arched into him. Escape was impossible. She couldn’t put together a coherent thought as pure, animalistic instinct took over.
Desire pooled low in her belly. He captured her bottom lip and sucked on it before retreating with a slight tug, only to return and crush his lips against hers.
She snaked her fingers into his lush hair. She should have pushed him away, but she couldn’t. No matter what Kade had done to her in the past, she’d never been able to walk away, not until the day that had changed everything.
Tucker’s sudden cry broke the spell. She jumped to her feet and took a step back.
Kade turned his dreamy gaze away from her and toward his son. All business now, he checked the baby’s diaper.
“It’s poop this time.” He flashed a lopsided grin. “You might not want to
stick around for this.”
He was giving her an easy way out. Any sane person would take it. But she couldn’t stop the niggling feeling that she should stick around for a few more minutes.
“Or you could stay and help me,” he said.
“Where are the diapers?”
This was totally insane. Stupid. Reckless. She was getting sucked into his world the way she had before, and she needed to stop it. Right now. Well… after she helped with the baby.
“Here.” She handed him a diaper. “Where are the wipes?”
“On the counter.”
She walked into the kitchen. She was tempted to stop and splash cold water over her face before returning.
“Get it together,” she whispered.
“What?”
“Nothing. I found them.”
She returned to the living room and handed him the wipes. He quickly changed Tucker’s diaper as if he’d been changing them his entire life.
“There. Now he’s happy again.”
“I should get going,” she said as she headed toward the door.
“Already?”
“I’ve seen enough.”
“Are you going to report me to the judge?”
When he grabbed her hand to keep her from leaving, an electric spark sizzled straight to her sex. She shivered and looked away.
“Not yet,” she said. “I have until Monday. I’ll come back in a few days to check on Tucker.”
“Don’t leave yet. Can I make you some coffee?”
“Kade, we can’t make this personal.”
“Can’t we?” he whispered.
As she lifted her eyes to meet his gaze, her bear clawed at her chest. The beast wanted him. She’d wanted him ten years ago, and she still wanted him. But he’d turned his back on her the day she needed him the most. Why was he trying to rekindle their relationship now? Was he only interested in being with her to ensure a good report to the judge?
“You haven’t spoken to me in ten years and now you want… what? What do you want?”
“Honestly?”
“Yes.”
“Right now, I need a friend.”
Disappointment coursed through her. Friendship. Of course he only wanted the bare minimum from her. Never love. She silently cursed her traitorous heart for wanting more.
No matter what he said or did to try to prove otherwise, she had to remember how irresponsible he was because Tucker’s life depended on it. If she didn’t make sure the home was safe, she’d be personally responsible for anything that happened to him.
“I can stay for a few minutes, but not as your friend. I’m a law enforcement officer and I have to be able to do my job impartially.”
“Impartially?” His smile revealed the dimple on his cheek. “That was quite the impartial kiss you gave me.”
“You kissed me first.”
“And you didn’t stop me. Decaf or regular?”
“What?”
“Coffee?”
“Decaf.” She shook her head. He always had a way of throwing her completely off balance.
“Cream? Sugar?”
“Both.”
She needed all the help she could get at this point. She wasn’t even sure why she’d agreed to stay. Tucker slept soundly on the couch and Kade seemed to have the situation mostly under control. So why stay? Why couldn’t she walk away from him?
5
Emily sipped the creamy, sweet coffee. She considered guzzling it and finding an excuse to leave, but she’d never been able to say no to Kade. As irresponsible as he was, he’d always been there for her, at least until the day of her father’s funeral.
She shook her head slightly and set the coffee down. The one day she’d truly needed him, he’d been too drunk to drive. It had been the final straw in their already rocky relationship. She couldn’t bear to look at him for months after the funeral and had refused his calls. Eventually, he’d stopped trying to ask for her forgiveness.
“Tell me about becoming a sheriff’s deputy.” He slid into the seat directly across from hers at the kitchen table.
“Not much to tell. I entered the academy and graduated top in my class.”
“You always were the smartest person in the room.”
“Are you trying to butter me up?”
“No.” He frowned. “Is that what you think I’m doing?”
“I don’t know what you’re doing.”
“I’m trying to get to know you again.”
“Why?”
“I figure you’re going to be around a lot, so we might as well be friends again. Or are you totally against that too?” He gave her a lopsided smile.
“I’m not against it.”
“Good. I want us to be friends. I miss having you around.”
When he placed his hand over hers, she slid hers away and set it in her lap, safely out of reach.
“Kade, I’m here as a deputy. The judge put me in charge of this case, so I have a duty to remain neutral.”
“I see.” He sat back against the chair.
“Tell me about Genevieve. How is it that you had no idea you were a father?”
“Why do you want to know about her?”
“Just curious.” She dropped her gaze to the coffee to avoid seeing his reaction. Had he been in love with Genevieve? Had he moved on with her instead of waiting for Emily? And could she really blame him? She’d fled to another city to avoid him.
“We met at Stomping Bear.”
“The roadhouse up on Highway 191?”
“Yeah. She was a waitress. I liked to close the bar. We got to talking and… well… we had a three-month-long fling. It was casual. Nothing serious.”
“Did you have a lot of casual relationships?”
“Did you?” he countered in a gruff tone.
“No. Not that it’s any of your business, but no. I was too busy doing my job.”
“Why law enforcement?”
She turned the coffee cup in her hand. How much did she want to tell him? Was it worth opening her heart even a little to tell him the truth?
“Because of my dad.”
“You wanted to catch drunk drivers.”
“Yeah. I wanted to catch whoever hit my dad head-on that night. We never found the guy. The car was stolen, and the driver ran off into the woods. He didn’t even bother calling 911. Can you believe that?” Tears formed in her eyes. “Not even an ounce of human decency.”
“It wouldn’t have made a difference. The police report said he’d been killed instantly.”
“I know, but it doesn’t make it any easier.”
“Your father would be so proud of you now.”
“You think?” She rapidly blinked away tears.
“I do.” Kade reached across the table and gently grabbed her hand. “I’m proud of you too. I always knew you were going to become someone important. I just never thought you’d become a cop.”
She smiled and squeezed his hand.
“Can you promise me something, Kade?”
“Anything.”
“Please don’t mess up for the next 90 days. I don’t want to have to report you to the judge.”
The light in his eyes faded. Her heart thumped as he pulled away.
“I won’t mess up.”
“I read your file. You’d been in trouble with the law almost every month for the last ten years. What happened to you? When we met in high school, you were so sweet and caring.”
“You’re assuming I’m not like that anymore based on some paperwork?”
“I’ve seen the reports. Why are you always getting into fights? Is it your bear? Is he so hard to control that you can’t resist the pull of darkness?”
“I can handle my bear.” He pushed back from the table and stood. “I think you should go. I have stuff I need to do.”
“Fine. I’ll be back in a few days.”
“Try calling first.”
“You know I can’t do that. It needs to be a surprise visit.”
/> “Fine. Whatever.”
“Kade, why are you so angry?”
“Because you’re just like everyone else. You only see one side of me. You don’t see… you know what, never mind.” He stalked toward the door and held it open. “Do whatever you think you need to do.”
“Fine.”
She stood and carried the mug to the sink before grabbing her purse from the end table. As she brushed past him, her bear inhaled his scent. The beast clawed at her chest in an attempt to escape. The urge to mate with him punched low in her belly. She hurried down the porch steps and across the snow to her car before she could do something stupid, like turn around and throw herself into his arms.
After slamming the door, she gripped the steering wheel for a second while she fought to keep her bear under control. It wasn’t easy for a bear shifter to keep their animal contained. She completely understood his struggle, but it was also a shifter’s responsibility to restrain their bear. If she could do it, so could he. Using it as an excuse to behave like an irresponsible teenager wasn’t going to fly with her. She didn’t buy it, and she wasn’t about to let Kade use it as a defense for his immature behavior. The sooner she could get away, the better.
She turned the key in the ignition. The car coughed and sputtered. A black plume of smoke puffed out of the tailpipe to cloud the rearview mirror.
“No. No. No.” She hit the steering wheel with both hands. “Not right now.”
Her bear fed off her agitation. Fur sprouted on her hands. She turned off the car and took several deep breaths to calm her bear. The beast paced around in her chest, stopping only long enough to drag a claw along her ribcage.
She’d never fought so hard to control the beast. The tension between her and Kade coupled with her stupid car problems was more than enough to instigate a full-blown shift. But she refused to give into the shadowy pull of her base instincts. Nothing good could ever come from giving into a vice, and Kade was the worst vice of all.
After waiting thirty seconds, she turned the key. This time the car clicked several times before dying with a shiver.
