Lights Out Lucy_Roller Derby 101
Page 32
Haley was short and trim with bleached platinum hair with bright purple streaks. She wasn’t wearing a costume, just a Sinners jersey like the rest of us. “Girls, tonight’s about having fun and breaking in the newbies. We’re only playing fifteen-minute jam sessions with a fifteen-minute break in between. After the bout is over, you’ll sign your jersey with the silver paint pens. We’ll auction them off during the afterparty which is held here.” She pointed her finger around at all of us. “No booze till after the bout!”
“Boo!” someone said behind me. I turned to see Medusa. She was wearing a Sinners jersey as well. She lowered her voice so only I could hear. “Think they put us on the same team to keep us from knocking each other out again?”
“Each other?” I asked, securing my helmet strap. “Pretty sure I owe you one.”
She bumped me with her hip. “I’m glad we’re on the same side.”
“Me too. It might keep me alive.”
Grace and Monica were on the Saints’ team.
“Like I said, tonight’s about the newbies, so you’ll all be on the track first. Any volunteers for starting jammer?” Haley asked.
Medusa grabbed my arm and thrust it into the air before I could snatch it away from her.
Haley pointed at me. “You. What’s your name?”
“Lights Out Lucy,” Medusa answered before I could refuse.
She threw the helmet panty with the bright teal star at me. “Lucy, you’re jamming.”
I glared at Medusa. She winked.
“So my other newbies will be starting blockers for her.” She looked down at the sheet in her hand. “That will be 5 Scar Jeneral and Goldie Knocks. Susan, you jump in there with them. And Medusa will be pivot.” Haley tossed the striped helmet panty to Medusa. “Any questions?”
“I can pass the star to the pivot, right?” I asked.
Haley nodded. “Yes.”
“Good.” I slammed the star panty into Medusa’s chest.
She laughed and shoved my hand away. “Oh no. You don’t get off that easily.”
The announcer was Daddy Ho’maker, the same guy from the last season bout. This time, instead of wearing a tuxedo, he wore a Mad Hatter’s costume and top hat. “Happy Halloween, derby fans! Let’s make some noise for our Music City Rollers!”
“Go! Go! Go!” Haley shouted, pointing at the track.
I fell in line behind Medusa as we skated out to the oval. The Saints’ team was in front of us, and they skated to the sidelines. Styx looked over her shoulder. “Pack it up, girls!”
Everyone huddled close to her. I followed along as we crouched in a group.
“Skating tonight for the Music City Sinners, number 1111 Riveter Styx!” Daddy Ho’maker bellowed.
Styx popped up and waved.
“Number 13EE, Susan!”
Everyone cheered.
“Number 5FT3, Lady Fury!”
The room went crazy.
He went through several more skaters. “Number 10, Medusa!”
Everyone was on their feet and screaming. One young girl on the sidelines was actually crying with hysterics. Medusa popped up and waved both arms.
“And introducing your newest Music City Rollers in their very first bout, number 5, 5 Scar Jeneral!” Beth waved. “Number 34DD, Goldie Knocks!” Goldie stood and jiggled her boobs. The crowd went nuts. I’m pretty sure I heard Ethan’s heart explode. “And number L0L, Lights Out Lucy!”
I popped up and waved to the crowd.
We skated off the track and stood on the sidelines as the Saints were introduced. We slapped high fives with them as they skated by. After the playing of the national anthem, Medusa slapped me on the back. “You ready to do this?”
I gulped. “Nope.”
She laughed and pulled me up off the bench. With the star panty stretched tight across my helmet, I skated out to the track. “Just remember. Keep an eye on Coach Hale Damage. If you make lead jammer, she’ll tell you when to call off the jam. Do you remember how to do that?”
Using both hands, I karate-chopped my hips.
“Good.” She struck my helmet. “If you get jammed in, hand me the panty. You can’t throw it at me.”
“OK.”
“Breathe, Lucy.”
I sucked in a deep breath, held it for a count of three, and blew it out slowly.
Monica lined up with the blockers, and Grace skated over behind the jammer line with me. She was wearing a star panty as well. She slapped me a high five. “Yes! I’m so glad we’re doing this together!” she cheered.
“Me too! Are you ready?” I asked.
“So ready!” She gripped my wrist guard. “Guess what?”
“What?”
“My divorce went through today!”
I threw my arms around her. “You’re finally a free woman!”
She hugged me back. “Yes!”
“I’m so happy for you, Grace.”
“Hey, jammers!” It took a second to realize Medusa was screaming at us. “No hugging the enemy!”
Laughing, I popped my mouth guard into place and looked around the crowded room.
I wonder if West is here.
Right in front of the line, Medusa locked arms with Susan and 5 Scar Jeneral. “Get ready, Lucy!” she screamed.
The referee’s whistle blasted. I took off from the starting line. My teammates swung sideways and knocked Grace out of bounds. My wheels smacked the floor as I fought my way around Monica and Judge Dreidel. I pushed through them, and Midnight Maven, dressed like a freaking angel, swooped over and slammed into me. I fell hard on my knees just inside the boundary, but I popped back up and ducked to the side as Medusa cut right and hip checked Maven. I squeezed through the tiny opening. Electra Cal rammed me with her shoulder, but I planted my feet and hit back like Kelly had shown me.
The crowd was screaming and stomping the bleachers. The noise was intoxicating. My skates slammed forward into the clear, and there were two sharp whistle blasts. The referee was pointing at me. Lead jammer! Holy shit, I’m lead jammer!
A powerful blow came from my back right followed by a long whistle. I stumbled but didn’t lose footing. I kept skating forward as Maven passed by me outside the track on her way to the penalty box. Grace was caught behind a wall named Medusa and Susan. I rounded the back turn and came up on the pack again, slamming chest first into the crack between Monica and Electra Cal. I made it through them and pushed forward.
Someone was screaming.
“Lucy!”
That’s me.
Coach Hale Damage was striking her hips.
Shit!
I mimicked her motions and the referee’s whistle blasted four rapid chirps.
Laughing, Medusa skated over and hooked me around the neck with her powerful arm. My mouthpiece popped out onto the floor. The rest of the skaters on the track swarmed me in one giant group hug.
Daddy Ho’maker’s voice boomed. “And the first two points of the night are for the Music City Sinners by a brand-new jammer, Lights Out Lucy!”
*
The Sinners beat the Saints 98 to 72. It was a great bout. I jammed on and off the whole night and actually lived to celebrate it. When the final whistle sounded and we skated off the track, the first person waiting for me was Ethan. “Who would’ve guessed my sister’s a badass?” he asked, lifting my skates off the floor as he hugged me.
When he set me down, I rolled back to look at him. My brother was wearing referee stripes. I pulled at the sleeve. “What’s this?”
“It’s a costume, but I think it’s a good look for me. I’ve gotten three phone numbers since I got here. They’re offering referee training in January. I’m thinking about trying it out.”
“Here?” I asked.
“You still gonna let me crash on your couch?”
I hugged him again. “Anytime you want.”
“I’m going to get a beer. You want one?” he asked.
“Maybe later. First, I need water,” I said.
K
raken smacked my helmet as she skated by. “Good game, Lucy!”
“Good game, indeed,” Styx agreed as I approached the bench. “Did you have fun?”
I smiled so wide it hurt my face. “So much fun.”
She winked and tossed me a paint pen. “Good. Don’t forget to sign your jersey and take it to the auction table.”
Not even caring I was just in my sports bra and meat pants, I stripped off my black shirt at the bench and signed the back with the silver paint. Lights Out Lucy, #L0L
It felt good. Damn good.
“I’ll pay five million dollars for that jersey,” a man said behind me.
I froze, and a smile crept across my face.
When I turned, West was smiling too. He was holding the head of his gorilla costume under his fuzzy black arm. His blond hair was matted on his head, and his face was red and dripping sweat. On his feet were a pair of rented roller skates.
“Nice skating, Lucille.”
“You’re here,” I said, my heart pounding harder than it had on the track.
That earth-shattering smile melted my heart as he slowly rolled toward me. “You didn’t think I’d miss your first bout, did you?”
“You knew I made the team?”
He glanced back toward my teammates. “Let’s just say a mutual friend tipped me off.”
I caught Medusa’s eye, but her gaze quickly darted away.
West shrugged his hairy shoulders and put the gorilla head down on the floor. “Looks like you’re all out of excuses now for why we can’t be together.”
“Looks like I am.”
He turned up his giant padded palms. “Geez, Lucy. Are you going to kiss me or what?”
Hell yeah, I was going to kiss him.
Laughing, I skated right into his arms, taking care to not knock him off-balance. Then we kissed, and it was perfect, despite the pungent stench of sweat between us and his gorilla hair tickling my armpits. Bells chimed, and angels sang—literally. A few of the Saints, still donning their halos and wings, belted the chorus to “Hells Bells” behind us. West laughed against my mouth.
He pulled back and rested his clammy forehead against mine. “So is this the part where we live happily ever after?”
I smiled and reached back for his hand. “We’ll start that business tomorrow.” Waffling his gorilla fingers with mine, I pulled him toward the center of the room. “Tonight, we skate.”
And he wobbled a bit as we rolled onto the track.
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About the Author
Bestselling author Elicia Hyder played women’s flat track roller derby with the Nashville Rollergirls under the skater name “eL’s Bells.” After a black eye, a broken finger, a severely pulled groin, and two knee injuries, Elicia hung up her skates to focus on a safer hobby—writing.
She has fictionalized her experience in her latest novel, Lights Out Lucy: Roller Derby 101. More novels are to come in the Music City Rollers series.
Elicia still lives in Music City with her superhero husband, five (loud) children, and two co-dependent dogs.
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elicia@eliciahyder.com