The Invisible Thread (The Unbreakable Thread Book 2)

by Lisa Suzanne

  “Yeah,” he says. “I do.” His expression turns hard and angry. “But I also see how none of that shit matters. None of it.”

  I open my mouth to say something snide, but he cuts me off.

  “Those are things immature little boys want, not fathers. Not grown men.” His voice is cold, and I can already see he’s siding with her—not with me, the guy who has been his best friend for more than twenty years.

  “I’m not cut out to be a father, Mark.” My voice is full of fear even to my own ears.

  “None of us are, but you’ll learn.”

  “Because I had such a good role model?”

  He shakes his head. “All that matters is that little life inside her body. You created that. Whether it was out of love or hate, whether it was on purpose or by accident, it doesn’t matter. You need to man the fuck up and provide for that kid and his mother. I know you have the ability to do that, and I’m sure Maci’s scared shitless and feeling very alone right now since the asshole who knocked her up left her cold and alone to get high.” He walks over to my mini-fridge and pulls out a bottle of water. He tosses it at me rather than to me.

  I catch it and drink down two-thirds of it in a couple gulps. “Dude, it wasn’t like that.”

  “It was exactly like that, and you know it.” He glances at the clock hanging above my counter. “We need to get moving. Pull yourself together and act like a professional for a few hours. We’ll deal with the rest later.”

  I mock salute him. “Yes sir.”

  I take a quick shower and pop four Tylenol before I step off my bus to walk to Mark’s. I’m almost to my destination when I hear the door to Maci’s bus open. I glance up and spot her as she walks down the steps, looking every bit the angel she is.

  Our eyes meet across the parking lot, and she glares at me. Despite her earlier warning that she doesn’t want to see me ever again, we’re touring together. She’s going to see me whether she wants to or not.

  It doesn’t matter, though. I can’t seem to control my movements as I step away from Mark’s bus and head in her direction.

  “Hey,” I say softly.

  She ignores me and moves to step past me, but I grab her arm.

  “Let go of me,” she says through gritted teeth.

  “Can we talk?” I ask.

  She shakes her head, refusing to look at me as she rips her arm out of my grip.

  “I’m sorry for how I reacted earlier.”

  Her eyes finally move in my direction. “You’re sorry? Oh, okay. That erases everything you said and makes it all better again.” She draws in a deep breath then shoots me a smile so sugary and fake that my chest aches. “I have somewhere I need to be.” She starts to walk away from me.

  “Wait,” I say, but she just keeps walking like I never said a word at all.

  I stare after her retreating figure, and then there’s a voice close behind me. “She’ll need a little time to cool off, but she won’t walk away forever.”

  I turn to look at Griffin, surprised he’s talking to me—surprised he’s being nice to me. Surprised he’s giving me insider information on Maci.

  “Her wrath gets pretty rough. Trust me, I’ve been on the receiving end.” He huffs out a chuckle. “More than once. But she’s never been this broken over someone, and that tells me you’ve still got a player in this game.” He smiles wryly at me. “Ruined her for the rest of us, though.”

  I wonder for a second if he knows about the baby. He should—he’s the person closest to her on this tour from what I’ve seen. But maybe she didn’t want him to know. If she didn’t, if she told me and not him, that makes my reaction far worse.

  “I don’t know, man,” I say, both of us staring at her retreating figure now. “I’m pretty sure she’s done with me.”

  He shrugs and moves to follow Maci while I’m left standing there by myself.

  * * *

  “God, Ethan,” Reese says, throwing her arms around my neck the second I step onto Mark’s bus...their bus.

  I let her hug me for a moment. She’s like a little sister to me in a lot of ways, even though she feels more like a mother most of the time. I was frigid to her when I first met her. I saw her as the girl fucking up my friend, not saving him. All she was doing in my book was taking away the one constant I’d had in my life since I first met him. But once I opened my eyes to the things she’s done for Mark, I saw that she was good for him, that they’re good for each other. She holds the other end of his red thread in that stupid legend Zoey told me about.

  And not just all that, but Reese sort of serves as my conscience at times. She has this ability to force me to think about my actions in a way that isn’t always comfortable but is probably necessary.

  I glare at Mark over her shoulder. He’s sitting at a table wearing glasses, looking less like a rock star and more like a businessman as he taps away on his laptop. He glances up at me without breaking his typing stride.

  “You told her?” I whine.

  “Told me what?” she asks.

  Mark’s gaze is on his screen. “I didn’t tell her anything, but you just opened the door.”

  “Told me what?” she repeats.

  “Why are you God Ethan-ing and hugging me?”

  “Because of the Maci break-up stuff. I heard your interview this morning. You dodged their questions perfectly.” She tugs on my arm. “Told me what?”

  I blow out a breath. “She’s pregnant.”

  Her jaw drops down and then she turns her gaze on Mark, who pretends to ignore us as he continues his typing. “And you didn’t tell me?” She points her finger in his direction with a nasty glare.

  “Wasn’t my news to tell, babe,” he murmurs. He clicks his mouse a few times then shuts his laptop lid. He pulls off his glasses and sets them on the table before he rubs his eyes. “And I just found out about ten minutes ago.”

  Reese glares at her husband. “Want me to talk to her?” she asks me.

  I shake my head vehemently. “No. No, I do not want you to talk to her. Ever. Stay away. Far away.”

  Reese laughs at the look of utter horror on my face, but she turns serious quickly. “What are you gonna do?”

  I lift a shoulder, and she punches me in the bicep. “Fuck, that hurt,” I say, rubbing the spot of the injury.

  “You’re gonna man up and not act like the immature ass clown you used to be.”

  “Your child can hear you,” I say, nodding toward her swelling stomach.

  She rolls her eyes. “I’m serious, Ethan.”

  “Yes, mother,” I say, rolling my eyes back at her. “But to be honest, I’m still the same immature ass clown.”

  “I know.”

  I laugh, but she’s dead serious.

  “But I’ve seen a change in you.” Her eyes soften. “No more stupid bets with Mark, seemingly fewer stupid decisions, way fewer screw-ups than in the past. And I think it has something to do with Maci.”

  “I’m still making stupid decisions. I’ll always do my best to impress you with just how stupid I can get.”

  “I know you will, but I also think you’ll step up and do the right thing.” Her eyes are full of concern and I believe her words.

  “What’s the right thing?” I ask, suddenly desperate for the right answer here.

  “Only you can answer that, but I think you already know what you need to do.”

  She’s right—I do know. But I’m not sure it’s something I’m equipped to do.

  Mark pipes up. “We need to go. M and G starts in ten.”

  “Think about it, Ethan,” Reese says. “You can still win her back. You’ve got a forever bond with her now.” She glances at her husband and rests her hand over her stomach, and for some reason, the simple look between a husband and a wife expecting a child together presses an unfamiliar weight on my chest.

  I give Reese a quick hug. Mark and I head over to the arena, Vick leads us to our meet and greet, and it’s business as usual. But something’s different. Somethi
ng has changed, and it’s me. As women drape themselves over me and expect the same reaction I’ve always given, I find myself hesitating. I’m unsure. My usual confident swagger sits on a bus or backstage in a green room as it’s held tight in the hands of the woman carrying my child. She somehow bought and paid for every black shard of my heart that I never even knew was for sale.

  I always said I’d never change for anyone, and that’s still true. I’m not changing for just anyone. I’m changing for the two people who own me, heart and soul—one a grown woman who might be lying about who she is, the other a terrifying and tiny creature who is part me, part her, and already fiercely perfect.

  It’s those thoughts that push me to do the very thing I fear most. She deserves the world, but that’s not what I’ve offered her. Instead, I’ve questioned her and hurt her just by being myself. It’s time to step up and be the man my father never was, and it starts right the fuck now.

  As soon as we’re done with our meet and greet, I skip past my own dressing room, run to my bus and grab the gift I had custom made, now in a box and wrapped in black paper with white polka dots. It reminds me of that stolen kiss between two people in a hallway and the innocent girl who tried to bite off more than she could chew from the big bad drummer.

  I head for Maci’s dressing room. Griffin opens the door for me and I look past him at the woman sitting in front of a mirror as she brushes make-up on her beautiful face.

  “Can you give us a minute?” I ask Griffin.

  He glances at Maci for approval. She’s looking at us in the mirror, and she doesn’t say yes, but she doesn’t say no, either. He takes that as an affirmative and steps out into the hallway, closing the door behind him and giving us the privacy I’ve always craved with her but am not sure what to do with right in this very moment.

  “What do you want?” she asks me, her gaze on her own face in the mirror.

  “I just want to talk.”

  “I go on stage in thirty-two minutes. I have shit to do and listening to another load of your crap isn’t on my list.”

  “I know. I promise I won’t take up much of your time.”

  She raises a brow but doesn’t look at me, and I walk slowly across the room until I’m standing right beside her. I set the wrapped box on her dressing table and kneel on the floor. I swing the back of her chair so she’s facing me. I push her knees apart and wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her forward so she’s sitting on the edge of the chair. I rest my cheek against her stomach and hold her waist tightly, just hugging her and breathing her in, my face pressed close to the tiny life inside her for a few beats before I find the words I need.

  “I’m sorry for what I said. I’m sorry for every single time I’ve hurt you. I know this baby is mine,” I say, forcing the word baby out of my mouth when the only time I use the word is to address a woman whose name I’ve forgotten, “and I’m fucking terrified about that. I have no clue what to do or how to handle this, but I want to. I want to be everything you both need, and I’ll do whatever I can to make that happen.”

  She doesn’t touch me, and I find myself longing for her hands in my hair or a pat on the shoulder. “I’m scared, too, you know.”

  I pull back and look up into her blue eyes that really aren’t blue beneath her contacts. This is Maci here with me, not Dani, but it doesn’t matter who she was in the past or even if she ever was someone else. She’s Maci now, and I’m so fucking in love with her that it burns my chest and hurts my stomach and makes me feel dizzy and weak and at the same time strong and masculine. In this moment, I know she owns me. She’s the one holding all the cards and all the power.

  I pull back and take both her hands in mine in some sort of vow. “Then let’s be scared together.”

  She pulls one of her hands away to swipe away a tear.

  “Let me back in, Mace. Let’s figure this out together.”

  More tears fall, faster than her one hand can catch them, and I swipe at a few.

  “You’ll ruin your gorgeous make-up,” I say softly.

  She gives me a wry smile through the tears. “It’s your fault, you know.”

  I chuckle. “I know. Usually is, and probably will continue to be.”

  “At least we can agree on that. Now stop making me cry.” She glances up at the clock. “I have to be on stage in twenty-nine minutes.”

  “I’m sorry.” I stand and help her up out of the chair. I wrap my arms around her waist.

  “You say that a lot.”

  “I’ll try to stop doing things that force me to say it.”

  She sighs and pulls away from me. “This isn’t over, Ethan. I’m still angry at how you treated me. This isn’t forgiveness, but I’ve had a lot of time today to think about what I’m supposed to do here, and I can’t do this alone.” She gestures toward her stomach.

  “You won’t have to go through this alone. I promise.” I lean forward and brush my lips across hers, and my heart warms as I feel like I’ve just walked in the door to home after being away from it for a lifetime.

  She pulls back and narrows her eyes at me. “Stop being an asshole. For us.”

  I nod, somehow decoding her words to mean the three of us, not just the two of us. “For us.” I kiss her again, really kiss her this time as I tighten my hold on her, and I’m so overcome with the emotions flying around my chest that I can’t help myself. I break the kiss, hug her close, and whisper near her ear, “I fucking love you.” The words slip out of me as naturally as breathing, yet I hold my breath as I wait for her answer to the words I’ve never said aloud to a woman before in my life.

  Love.

  Jesus. When did that happen?

  Oh, right. The very second Maci Dane walked into my life.

  She freezes for a beat, and then her lips trail from my neck toward my ear. I wait as patiently as I can for her response, but whatever it is won’t change anything. I’ll still love her even if she doesn’t love me back. I’ll love her even if she never wants anything to do with me ever again. I’ll love her until my last breath. I didn’t figure out what it was until this moment—holding her in my arms, grateful she’s even talking to me about giving me another chance with her.

  I couldn’t understand what Mark went through when he gave up the single life for Reese. I couldn’t piece together why he’d want to give up all the girls, the partying, the sex, and the fun.

  I get it now.

  This girl has brought me straight to my knees, and there’s nothing I can do to find a way to stand up straight again. She’s more than all the girls, better than the partying. She’s the only one I want to have the sex and the fun with now. She’s everything, and I never even saw it coming.

  But in less than nine months, I’m going to have to share her with someone else, ready or not.

  “Are you sure?” she finally asks me.

  I fucking love you. I told her I love her, and her response was to ask me if I’m sure.

  I wonder if this evens the score for the prove it comment earlier about the baby.

  Probably not.

  I pull back to look at her, and I nod slowly. “Yeah. I’m sure.”

  She grins at me, a silly grin that’s part giddiness and part love, but it fades quickly into sobriety. “I feel it, too, Ethan. I do. I’m just not ready to say it.”

  I nod, trying my damnedest not to let the disappointment show on my face because none of it matters. She said she does, too, and that’s what I’ll store in my heart until she’s ready to say the words.

  “What’s in the box?” she finally asks.

  “You’ll have to open it to find out.”

  She smiles.

  “And I just want you to know that polka dots mean something to me.”

  “What do they mean?” she asks.

  I’m about to answer when Griff comes back into the room. “You’re down to twenty minutes,” he says.

  “I’ll let you get to whatever you need to do,” I say. I lean down and press one more soft kiss t
o her lips, wishing we had more time but knowing it’ll come.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  MACI

  I stare at the polka dot box as his words swirl around in my head. I fucking love you.

  He loves me.

  I wasn’t expecting to hear those words out of his mouth. I’d hoped for it, dreamed about it, even went so far as to make it my goal...but I never really thought he’d say them.

  Yet there they are, the very words I came here to hear served up on a platter for me.

  I couldn’t say it back. Not here in a dressing room in Connecticut, not when I feel like a garbage truck ran me down, not when I’m freaking the fuck out over this baby thing and emotions are running high. Most of all, not when I have to go on stage soon. Not when I feel like there are so many secrets and lies surrounding us and not when I feel like we hardly know each other.

  But I do, somehow. I do, too.

  I can’t do it anymore. I realize this as I stare at the polka dots, wondering what the design means to him and why he chose that paper. I can’t go on with this big plan to break him the way he broke me.

  I need to tell him the truth, but I just haven’t figured out when. He’s already accused me of it. He knows, and he’s not stupid. I need to tell him on my own terms. And I will. I just don’t know that the middle of this tour immediately after dropping the pregnancy bomb is the right time to do it.

  “How are you feeling?” Griff’s voice pulls me out of my Ethan haze.

  I look away from the box and up at my manager. I blow out a breath. “Ethan just told me he loves me.”

  Griff’s eyes fleetingly shadow with hurt that’s gone in an instant. “I’m happy for you,” he says.

  We stare at each other for a quiet beat, both sure now that whatever we had is firmly planted in the past. I love Griffin, and he’s my rock, but I don’t love him the way I love Ethan, and I never will. I’ll never love anybody the way I love Ethan.