The Restarting Point

by Marci Bolden

  But she was going to have to explain. She was going to have to say words she wasn’t sure she could. Putting it off wasn’t going to make the confession any easier. Jade climbed out of the car. She kept her left knee bent so she didn’t put weight on her sprained ankle while she got the crutches from the back seat.

  With her heart in her throat, she took her time crossing the path to Darby’s house. Getting up the stairs on crutches was not the easiest thing to do, but she managed. However, once she was on the porch, she couldn’t bring herself to knock on the door.

  She didn’t have to. The door opened and Darby poked her head out.

  Though several hours had passed since Darby had helped Jade into her car to see her off, Darby still had bright red lipstick pasted to her lips. She smiled brightly and let out a little squeal. “I thought that was you. You’re back. Yay!”

  Though Darby was excited to see her, Jade couldn’t even manage a smile. As she expected, the words stuck in her throat. She couldn’t say what she needed to say. Her mind flashed to piles of boxes, the realization that her husband was leaving her, and Nick’s sad eyes as he tried to justify his decision. She pressed her hands to her face and tried to hide her tears, but she was too late.

  “No,” Darby said, sounding panicked. “No, no, no.” She stepped outside and wrapped comforting arms around Jade, hugging her tight. Any other time, Jade might have pulled away from an unexpected embrace by a virtual stranger. But after the long drive back to Chammont Point doing her best not to break down, the hug was nice. Jade leaned into Darby and accepted the comfort as she sobbed.

  “What happened?” Darby asked as she ran her hand over Jade’s back.

  “I walked in on… My husband was…”

  Gasping dramatically, Darby leaned back, holding Jade at arm’s length. “In bed with someone else?”

  Jade shook her head.

  “Hiding a body?”

  She shook her head again.

  Darby widened her eyes. “Drinking red wine and eating brownies?”

  Jade chuckled. She didn’t want to, hadn’t meant to, but Darby’s last guess was amusing. Jade sniffed as her smile fell. “He was with someone else, but they weren’t in bed. They were packing his things to leave me,” she managed to say between hiccupping breaths. Her tears returned as she looked at Darby. “He didn’t come to the lake with me because he’s leaving me.”

  Darby’s usual peppiness faded as she wiped Jade’s cheek. “Oh, honey. Come in.” She held the door open wide.

  As soon as Jade stepped inside, her problems fled her mind as she absorbed the bright colors and geometric patterns. Her question about the transition happening at her cabin was answered. Darby was definitely in the midst of replacing the country lodge feel with a 1960s vibe.

  A half-dressed mannequin stood in one corner with Darby’s signature style hanging from it.

  “Darby,” Jade said with her snuffly voice, “do you make your clothes?”

  “Most of them. I have a shop online too. You should check it out.” She glanced over Jade’s shorts and fitted T-shirt. “I’m sure you could find something in your…style.”

  Jade didn’t know why she was shocked, but she hadn’t imagined Darby as more than the goofy slumlord who hadn’t taken care of the cabin. Guilt tugged at her for so harshly judging a woman she didn’t even know.

  Nick was right. She had gotten hard.

  She wanted to apologize, but she couldn’t find the words to explain that she felt bad for having such low expectations of someone she didn’t even know.

  Darby sat on a bright blue sofa and patted the cushion beside her. Once Jade eased down, Darby asked, “Are you okay?”

  “I don’t know,” Jade admitted. “I was shocked and then angry. Now I’m numb. I’m just numb.”

  “Can you tell me what happened?”

  “I walked in and there were boxes. His stuff was packed. Then he walked in with this woman, and…they were smiling and laughing.” Jade’s voice cracked as she recalled how happy her husband had looked. “They were so excited to be moving him out. I could see it. I could see how elated he was to be leaving.” Jade wiped her nose. “He’s been planning to leave me for over a year. But then I…I was diagnosed with cancer and he thought he should stay. How did I not know?”

  “You had cancer?” Darby asked sadly.

  Jade nodded as Darby grabbed a box of tissues off the table and held it out for Jade. “He intended to leave me before I was sick. He stayed longer than he had originally planned because he didn’t want me to die alone. I should have seen the signs.”

  Sympathy turned Darby’s usual smile into a deep frown. “We don’t always see the side of people we should. Sometimes we don’t want to because the side they’re hiding is more than we can bear.”

  The way she said that made Jade think there was a story behind the words, but she didn’t have the strength to ask. She’d circle back to the source of Darby’s secret wisdom later. “That’s very insightful.”

  “Well, I’m more than a fashion icon with big hair.”

  “He wants a divorce so he can have the life he wants.” Jade sank back against the sofa and looked down at her naked left ring finger. “I didn’t realize I was holding him back so much.”

  “That son of a bitch,” Darby whispered. The words weren’t rife with the high drama she usually used. Her natural sarcasm was gone. In a flash, she jumped to her feet, startling Jade.

  “I’m going to kill him for doing this to you. I’m going…” Darby grabbed a bright yellow light off the end table. “I’m going to smash him over the head and strangle him with this cord and…throw him into the tub and electrocute him. And… What other ways can I kill him with a lamp?”

  Jade shrugged. “You could probably stab him with it if you took the shade off.”

  “Yeah,” Darby said with savage enthusiasm. “I’m going to stab that asshole right through the heart.” She practiced a jabbing motion several times before putting the lamp down and resuming her seat. “I was trying to make you laugh, but I guess it’s too soon, huh?”

  “A little.”

  “I really will murder him if you want. Nobody would know it was me. I swear. I can be incredibly stealthy when I need to be. Like a majestic homicidal ninja in stilettos.”

  Jade grinned, which was as close to smiling as she could get. “I appreciate the offer. I’ll keep it in mind.”

  Darby brushed her fingertips across Jade’s cheeks in a maternal gesture that didn’t fit her outlandish appearance. “In the meantime, you stay in the cabin as long as you want, okay?”

  “What about your other renters? Whoever is coming after me.”

  Darby shrugged. “I’m not really having much luck renting that place. Seemed like a good idea at the time. I have a lot of those ideas. They sound great until I do them, and then…” She showed Jade two thumbs down. “My big ideas never work out.”

  Rather than suggest Darby invest in finishing the decor or making the cabin a wee bit safer, Jade offered another weak attempt at a smile. “I’m sure things will turn around.”

  “Sure they will,” Darby said. “For both of us.”

  The cloud returned over Jade as she flashed back to the feeling of her stomach dropping to her feet. She remembered the look on Nick’s face as he explained that their marriage was over. The sorrow he had shown hadn’t been for the end of their marriage, but for the way she’d found out. He didn’t seem to have a single doubt about leaving her, and that made her heart shatter even more. “Yeah,” Jade whispered as more tears fell from her eyes. “I’m sure.”

  Three

  The painkillers Jade had taken were kicking in, but she still wasn’t able to relax. She thought back on the day before and all the things Nick had said. He didn’t love her anymore. Simple as that. Bottom line. After over twenty years together, he was leaving her for someone else so he could have the life he wanted instead of whatever hell Jade had thrust upon him.

  The last thought she�
�d had the night before was that Nick was leaving her. The first thought when she’d awoken was that Nick was leaving her. And all her thoughts since then were trying to understand why. She was tempted to call him and once again ask why he was destroying their marriage but forced the need away.

  But what if… Jade closed her eyes as the voice nagged at the back of her mind and forced the fears away.

  “Stop it,” she told herself, refusing to give life to the hope that was trying to lift her spirits. There was no “what if.” He’d been in another relationship for over a year. There was no doubt in his mind that their marriage was done. As if she couldn’t figure that out when she’d found a strange woman in her home, smiling at Nick like he’d hung the goddamn moon.

  A choked sob pushed from Jade’s throat, and her eyes filled with tears again. Darby had shown up bright and early with a box of tissues and a notepad so she could get a list of all the things Jade might need to get through the week. In the hour since she’d been gone, Jade had already piled the coffee table with used tissues. She snagged another as Darby opened the door with her signature flare.

  However, as soon as she looked at Jade, she pulled her pink cat-eye sunglasses off and turned her lips into a frown. “Oh, look at you. You’re a mess.”

  “Thanks,” Jade said and sniffled.

  Darby set the reusable shopping bag on the kitchen counter and grabbed the small white trash can from under the sink. She carried it into the living room and snagged a clean tissue to brush the used ones into the trash. Then she sat on the coffee table and gave Jade a weak smile. “Are you ready for me to dig a shallow grave for him yet?”

  “I’m getting there. I just keep seeing how happy he was until he noticed me standing there.”

  “It was really unfair of him to do this,” Darby said.

  “I have to figure out what to do now.”

  “First thing we do,” Darby cheerfully said as she jumped up, “is toast to your newfound, though somewhat unexpected, freedom.”

  “Oh, it’s too soon for that, Darby.”

  “It’s never too soon.” She reached inside the bag she’d put on the counter and pulled out a bottle of cranberry juice. “I got your juice, but since you didn’t specify what you planned to do with it, I bought vodka and tequila to leave your options open.”

  “I don’t drink, remember?”

  Darby eased the bottle down as some of her enthusiasm faded. “Wait. You weren’t kidding? I mean I assumed this was a mixer, but you’re just going to…drink it straight?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay,” Darby drawled quietly and produced a bundle of leafy greens from the bag. “And this…stuff. What do you do with this?”

  “I eat it.”

  Furrowing her brow, Darby stared at the kale. “But I didn’t buy any salad dressing. Did you forget to tell me to get salad dressing?”

  Jade did a quick mental recall of the list she’d handed Darby when the woman offered to go to the store. “Did you get the olive oil and balsamic vinegar?”

  Darby leaned back. “No.”

  “No, you didn’t, or no—”

  “You just put oil and vinegar on a bunch of leaves and eat it?”

  Jade nodded.

  Darby pressed her hand to her heart. “Do you… Do you count calories?” She whispered the last two words as if they were a dirty secret.

  Jade chuckled. Darby was putting on a show, doing her best to distract Jade from her dark thoughts. The kicker was it was working. Darby’s performance was spot on. “No. My diet is for health reasons.”

  Darby ran her fingers over the kale. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen this in real life. It’s so…green.” She set the bunch aside and once again examined the bottle of juice. “Straight, huh?”

  “With ice. Please.”

  “This feels wrong,” Darby muttered. “Are you sure you don’t want a little vodka or tequila? I’ve got some pineapple juice at home. I can make you a killer bay breeze.”

  “No,” Jade said. “Just cranberry juice.”

  “Okay,” Darby sang and cracked open the bottle.

  “Thank you,” Jade said, but just like every other thought that came to her mind, her appreciation for Darby’s kindness brought tears to Jade’s eyes. “For being so nice to me and letting me come back here. I thought about going to my mom’s, but she’s had a hard time the last year with my illness. I didn’t want to dump this on her until I got my head around it first.”

  “What about your dad?” Darby asked.

  “He lives a few hours away, and I… He’s not really nurturing, so I’d rather not be there right now.”

  Darby crossed the living room and bowed slightly as she held out a glass to Jade. “One cranberry juice. Straight, no liquor.”

  “Besides,” she said, accepting the drink, “I’m beginning to enjoy having a handmaiden.”

  “Oh, God,” Darby said, scrunching her nose. “You won’t make me wear one of those red robes, will you?”

  “Not today,” Jade said. “It’s too warm.”

  “Good. And I won’t be a vessel for your unborn children, either.” Darby ran her hands over her sides and curvy hips. “I’ve got to protect my figure.”

  “My children are both in college. I’m done with that mess.”

  Darby tilted her head and lifted her dark brows. “You don’t look old enough to have kids in college.”

  “Well, we started young. I was only seventeen when Xander was born. I guess that’s why I worked so hard. We hadn’t been able to prepare ahead of time. I wanted to provide for them. I didn’t realize how much I was missing.”

  Sitting on the coffee table, Darby stared so intently, her dark eyes seemed to be peering into Jade’s soul. “That kind of reckoning is usually saved for old men on their death beds.”

  Jade let a wistful smile touch her lips. “I’ve had some time to reflect on my life recently. I spent way too much time focused on my career. But that’s in the past. You know, when Nick suggested this trip, I thought it was so we could reconnect and figure out where to go next. Now I have to figure that out without him. I’ve never had to make a life decision without Nick. I did plenty of that at work, but… Nick was always there to talk through life decisions. It’s jarring.”

  “Well, I hope you work it out soon,” Darby retorted. “I’m not sure how many more glasses of virgin cranberry juice I can pour. It’s freaking me out.” Her smile was sweet, lacking the sarcasm that Jade had already come to expect. She pushed herself up and went back to the kitchen to unpack the rest of Jade’s groceries.

  “So no kids for you?” Jade asked.

  “Nope. Not happening. I’m wild and free and intend to stay that way.”

  “No significant other, then?”

  Darby waved her hand as if to shoo away the idea. “Men are like fads. While they are fun for a while, they come and go. Some of them come around again, but they never stay too long. I wouldn’t want them to. I can’t be tamed.”

  Jade looked into her juice as she sniffled. “I can see that about you. You’re better off. Trust me.”

  “Speaking of men,” Darby said, peering out the window. “Here comes ours.” She stood taller and arched her back. Her breasts nearly popped from the red-and-white polka dot halter dress she wore. She patted her updo as if to smooth down any strays.

  Jade leaned to look outside but couldn’t see who Darby was drooling over. “Our man?”

  “Hmm. He’s going to be shirtless and sweating in no time.”

  Seconds later, a muscular specimen came into Jade’s view. He was heading toward the cabin with a clipboard. “Ah. The contractor.” Jade wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed. For a split second, the idea of a shirtless, sweating man had appealed to her. She could certainly use the distraction. But if she were honest, she probably would have started crying again.

  Putting her hand on Jade’s shoulder, Darby said, “Sit tight. I’m going to go hire us some entertainment.”

&n
bsp; She strutted out the door to greet the handyman, and Jade instantly returned her attention to her phone. She hadn’t been lying when she told Darby Nick had been her go-to person. They’d started dating when she was sixteen and had gotten married before Xander was born. He’d been her best friend—her only friend, really—for most of her life. She didn’t even know where to turn without him there.

  After several seconds of chastising herself for needing to call Nick, Jade turned the phone off and tossed it out of her reach. “Jesus,” she muttered. She wasn’t going to beg. She refused to beg. Not that begging would help anyway. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen him smile like he had in that split second before her presence was known. There was no point in begging.

  Jade wiped her tears when her favorite property mis-manager walked back into the cabin with a man on her heels. Jade’s attention shifted from her own pity party to the way Darby’s light had dimmed. There was no sparkle in her overly enhanced eyes, and her bright red lips didn’t have a hint of a smile. In fact, Darby seemed to also be on the verge of tears.

  Jade had known Darby for all of twenty-four hours, but the change in her demeanor was obvious. Something had happened. Something that had dampened Darby’s annoyingly robust personality. Jade only needed a minute to figure out what had changed.

  Listening to the Hunka Burning Contractor tell Darby that he would have to rip out the kitchen cabinets, wall, and floor caused about a thousand red flags to start flying. By no means was Jade an expert on construction, but she’d been on the receiving end of enough of Nick’s rants about his competition to know there were plenty of shady contractors out there who were willing to take advantage of unsuspecting customers.

  Not only did Darby scream look at me, but she practically had a neon sign over her head asking to be taken advantage of. The doe eyes, blank stares, and pouty lips might have helped her in some areas, but when dealing with men who likely thought she didn’t know better, her self-imposed innocence could do more harm than good.