The Restarting Point

by Marci Bolden

  “Thanks.”

  At the sound of a vehicle door closing, Darby and Jade turned toward the driveway. Taylor, with a bag and a drink carrier in hand, headed toward them. Her steps were slower than usual. She tended to take long, determined steps. But this morning, she moved hesitantly down the gravel walkway toward the sitting area.

  “Maybe I should go,” Darby said and started to stand.

  “Stay,” Jade insisted.

  “I don’t think she—”

  “She has three drinks, Darby,” Jade pointed out. “I bet one is for you.”

  Darby sat back, but her discomfort was obvious. Jade had suspected Darby’s class clown act was to hide her fragile feelings, but she hadn’t realized how deeply those insecurities ran. Seeing her friend shrink like a flower wilting before her eyes made Jade’s heart ache.

  “Hey,” Taylor said, sounding as uneasy as Darby looked, as she approached the sitting area. “You guys couldn’t sleep either, huh?”

  “Not much,” Jade said. She looked at Darby, who had averted her eyes.

  “I brought iced coffee for you, Darby. The kind with whipped cream, sprinkles, and extra chocolate syrup. Just how you like it.” She held the drink holder out like an olive branch.

  Darby hesitantly took one of the cups from the holder. “Thank you.”

  “Green tea for you, Jade,” Taylor said. “I guess you have some already.”

  Jade smiled extra wide, like she tended to do when she was trying to encourage Darby. “You can never have too much tea. Thank you, Taylor.” The tension between the three of them was stifling. Jade hated how much stress they were all clearly feeling. The friendship that had formed between them was something she had come to cherish. The three of them had spent weeks having fun adventures, trying new things, and getting to know each other. It was too soon for that to fall apart.

  “Sit,” Jade told Taylor. “It’s a little chilly, but we can put more wood on the fire.”

  “I’m okay.” Taylor hesitated before sitting in the chair she tended to occupy when they were hanging out next to the lake. She dug into the bag and handed Darby a pastry and Jade a cup of sliced fruit. Then she fidgeted for several moments before she glanced at Jade. “I um… I owe you both an apology. Darby,” she said, “I’m sorry I was a jerk about you selling the cabin to Jade. I didn’t mean to be. I was just…”

  “Looking out for Jade,” Darby said. “I get it.”

  “I know it came across that way, but that wasn’t what I intended. You got screwed when you bought that place, too. I’m mad for both of you.”

  “You think I’m passing my problems off to someone else,” Darby said. “I guess I am. That’s what I do.” She shrugged. “I’ve never been good at sticking things out when the going gets tough.”

  “Darby, I want to buy the cabin,” Jade said. “I know it’s a mess. I’m okay with that. Worst-case scenario, I knock it down and start from scratch. I’m going to have an inspection, like Taylor suggested, and then I’ll decide what to do. But no matter what I’m told, I’m still buying the cabin.”

  “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, Darby,” Taylor said. “I don’t really know how to talk to people.” She shrugged as her cheeks turned red. “I spent too much time around construction crews, I guess. I’ve never really had female friends, and sometimes I… Sometimes I’m too hard. I know that. I didn’t mean to sound so harsh. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” Darby said.

  Taylor shook her head. “No, it’s not. I’m going to try harder to not be so…me. Forgive me?”

  The smile returned to Darby’s face. “Yeah. Of course. We’re friends, right?”

  “Yeah. We’re friends.”

  Jade lifted her tea in a toast. “Yes, we are.”

  “I’m sorry for talking to you that way too, Jade,” Taylor said. “I know you’re smart enough to make this decision. Just because it’s not what I would do doesn’t mean I should talk to you like you don’t know better. I just…” She rolled her eyes back and blinked in an obvious attempt to not cry. “I just really need you guys to give me another chance. I promise I’ll do better.”

  “No,” Darby cooed as she stood. She rushed around the fire pit to Taylor’s side and hugged her. She pulled Taylor’s head to her chest and gave her a squeeze. “No crying. I spent half an hour on my makeup.”

  Taylor sniffled before muttering, “Get your boobs out of my face, Darby.”

  “Oh,” Darby said, leaning back to give Jade a wink, “nobody’s ever said that to me before.”

  Jade laughed, happy to see that they were back to bantering already. “We all have issues we’re working through. Let’s agree to be a little bit more tolerant of each other.”

  “Agreed,” Darby said.

  “Agreed,” Taylor chimed in.

  Jade took a deep breath. “Good, and now that we’re all back to being friends, you guys have got to help me fix this thing with Liam. As much as I’d love to simply avoid him forever, that isn’t possible if I’m going to be in Chammont Point. I have to face this, and I… Ugh. I don’t know what to do.”

  Taylor looked from Jade to Darby and back again. “What thing? What happened?”

  Darby’s smile widened, and she rubbed her palms together. “Oh, you’re going to love this.”

  Fourteen

  Jade parked outside Lakefront Rentals, and a rock settled in her gut. Though Taylor and Darby had made plenty of jokes at Jade’s expense after she gave them a detailed recount of her failed attempt at seducing a seducer, they also helped her formulate a proper apology. The hard part was going to be delivering it. They had offered to go with her and wait in the car in case she needed on-the-spot support. But this was a mess Jade had made on her own, and she had to fix it on her own.

  However, as she stared at the store knowing Liam was inside, she wished she’d accepted the offer.

  “Woman up,” she muttered to herself as she exited her car. She dug deep for mettle to walk to the door, but once there, she felt her courage wither. Her heart began to pound, and her stomach turned upside down. Her knees grew weak, and the lump in her chest grew, making her breath come in shallow bursts.

  Fear. She knew this well. Closing her eyes, she reminded herself what Taylor had said several times: The worst thing that could happen was he could tell her he didn’t accept her apology and she had to find a new place to rent a paddleboard for the rest of the summer. Though she felt bad and hoped she could fix this, she and Liam didn’t have some long history that was going to be erased if he didn’t forgive her.

  She barely knew him. Who cared what he thought of her?

  The reality was, Jade cared. She’d lashed out and felt terrible, and she wanted him to know she wasn’t the type of person who acted the way she had the night before.

  Though she didn’t want to, Jade opened the door and walked into Liam’s store. She saw him at the back, restocking a shelf, and looked back at the door. She could still make her escape unnoticed.

  “Hey, Jade,” Parker called from behind the counter. She smiled and waved with the same greeting she used for everyone.

  Liam stopped moving but didn’t turn around.

  “Hey, Parker,” Jade said and gave her a smile in return, though Jade suspected hers came out more like a grimace.

  Parker glanced between Jade and Liam, clearly picking up that something wasn’t quite right. The last Parker had heard, Jade was furious at Liam and had wished the man’s soul to an eternity of torment. Theoretically, unless Liam ran his mouth, Parker had no idea that the tides had turned and Jade was now in the wrong. Jade didn’t figure Liam to be the type to run his mouth.

  Moving to the back of the store, Jade stopped at Liam’s side. “Hi.”

  “Hey,” he said without looking at her.

  “We need to… Can we talk about last night?”

  He added another bottle of sunscreen to the shelf. “Do you mean the part when you threw yourself at me or the part when you threw me out fo
r refusing your offer?”

  Ouch. His pointed words hit the mark and made her already shaky ego crumble. “I mean when you very nicely turned me down instead of taking advantage of me. I was in a bad place last night, and you saw that. You could have used that against me, but you didn’t. Thank you.”

  He didn’t answer. He continued shelving the bottles until she grabbed one from his hand and waited for him to look at her.

  “Liam, don’t act like an ass,” she said. “That’s my job.”

  He rested his hand on the shelving unit and shook his head. “Do you know how ridiculous it was for you to be mad that I didn’t take advantage of you?”

  “Yes, I do. I was confused,” she said softly. “I don’t like being confused. Uncertainty isn’t something I’m used to. I should be by now, but I’m not. You were pointing out things that I didn’t want to see, and I didn’t respond well. Throwing myself at you, stupid as it sounds now, made me feel like I was taking control of something. I see now that was…wrong. To put it mildly.”

  Liam grabbed a few more bottles of lotion from the box on the floor and shoved them carelessly onto the shelf. He roughly snagged the box and carried it out of the shop with her following behind. After crushing the cardboard, he shoved it into a recycling bin and spun to face her. “You said some pretty shitty things, not just last night but while we were out on the lake. You don’t know me at all, Jade.”

  “Maybe not, but I do know you’re playing games,” she accused.

  He shook his head at her. “I’m not playing games.”

  “Bullshit,” she said pointedly. “You smile and wink and say the most inappropriate things, but then you—”

  “Treat you with respect when you need it most? Goddamn, I’m an asshole,” he snapped.

  She stood taller. He was mad? He’d been throwing mixed signals at her for weeks and he was mad? “Yes,” she stated. “You kind of are.”

  “Because I wouldn’t sleep with you?”

  “Because you’ve been trying to sleep with me for weeks and when I say yes, you say no. You are a fake.”

  “Is this your idea of an apology, lady?”

  “I’m apologizing for my behavior, but that doesn’t mean you get a free pass on yours. The last thing I need in my life is another man pretending to care about me to spare my fucking feelings.”

  “Whoa,” Parker said, skidding to a stop. She hovered by the door, wide-eyed. “I think it’s time for my break.”

  “No,” Liam ordered. “You stay.” He pointed at Jade. “You come with me.”

  He led her to the stacks of canoes and grabbed one. “Get the oars,” he ordered. When she didn’t obey, he blew out his breath. “Please. I’d like to have this conversation in private, and I’m not giving you the chance to paddle away from me when you get called out for your bullshit too.”

  She grabbed the oars and followed him across the street to the lake. They climbed in, and Liam rowed. After several minutes, he stopped and looked around at the vast water and trees in the distance.

  “I’m not the kind of guy who takes advantage of women, Jade. I would have hoped you’d know that. I know I…” His words faded, and he blew out a long breath before starting again. “I tease and I flirt, but I’d never take advantage of you. I’m sorry you thought otherwise.”

  Heat touched her cheeks. “I don’t think that about you.”

  “Apparently you do.”

  “No. I’m… My marriage is ending without warning, and yesterday… Finding out Nick signed the divorce papers was not something I was prepared to deal with. I was thrown for a loop. I knew it was coming. I had just buried my head and ignored it. Like you said I was doing. Finding out he’d taken that step hurt. I was feeling discarded and wanted someone to make me feel worthy for a while. You were there, and when you used common sense—”

  “When I respected you,” he clarified.

  “When you showed me the respect that I deserve,” she agreed, “I overreacted. I’m sorry. I’m very, very sorry, not only for the mean things I said but for the way I treated you when you turned me down.”

  “Apology accepted. Thank you. And for the record, you are worthy. You’re incredibly worthy. I’m sorry he hurt you like he did, but that doesn’t make you disposable. You’re not. If that’s what you think—”

  “You don’t know what I was like before I got sick,” she said quietly. “I was self-centered and narrowly focused. I wasn’t…” She swallowed hard before voicing a truth she hadn’t wanted to face. “I understand why he cheated on me.”

  Liam was quiet for an unbearably long time. “Whatever you’ve been through, whoever you were before, those things made you who you are now. And you’re worthy. You need to hear that.”

  Jade shook her head as the familiar prick of tears bit her eyes. “Please don’t give me a pep talk.”

  “You need one.”

  “No. I don’t know what I need, but a pep talk from a shaggy-haired wannabe surfer isn’t it.” She grinned, hoping he’d realize she was teasing him.

  He smiled too, but his smile wasn’t sincere. “Remember that really bad ice storm we had six years ago? The entire state was covered.”

  “Yeah.” She wondered where he was going with that.

  “My fiancée was killed in a car accident in that storm. A truck came around a curve and hit her head on. He couldn’t stop.”

  Jade’s heart dropped to her stomach. “Oh, Liam. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s been six years, and I… I still push people away by acting like an ass because… I don’t want to love someone that much again, Jade. I don’t want to feel that kind of pain again. That doesn’t mean I take advantage of women when they’re hurting.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have made you feel like that. I wasn’t trying to…” She stopped before telling the lie. “I was trying to get you into bed, but I’m glad you didn’t take me up on it. I would’ve hated myself this morning. And you. I really would have hated you.”

  “The crazy thing is, you’re the first person who I think I might like to let in. But you’re not ready, and I’m not that kind of guy.”

  “I know you’re not.”

  “You didn’t last night.”

  She inhaled as much air as her lungs could hold. “My ego was bruised last night. I shouldn’t be starting over at this point in my life, but here I am. With nothing and no one except this self-pity that seems to be taking over my life. I really want this part to be over,” she said. “I don’t want to go through this.”

  Liam gripped her hand. “You have to, but you aren’t alone. You have Darby and Taylor. You have me and this beautiful lake and this quiet town. Your kids. And you have a second chance. You’re going to be okay.”

  Shaking her head, Jade focused on the horizon so she didn’t have to see the sympathy in his eyes. “You can tell me all day long that I’m not disposable, but my husband had a replacement lined up for over a year. We aren’t even divorced yet, and he’s trying to push her onto our kids. I was disposable. And the worst part is that I can’t blame him. I guess the reason I keep telling myself to pick up and move on is because that’s what he did. I was busy with my career, and he picked up and moved on. As much as it hurts, how can I blame him for that?”

  “That’s easy, Jade.” Liam rested his elbows on his knees. “It’s actually really easy. He had other choices. He had the opportunity to make your relationship better. He chose not to. You absolutely get to blame him for that.”

  “Oh, trust me, I have. I want to hate him, but I can’t. I can’t even hate her. She stood by him while he stood by me when I was sick. They’re both very righteous when you think about it.”

  He scoffed and shook his head. “No, they’re not. You’re giving them way too much credit.”

  “I look back and think about all the time I wasted chasing promotions and accounts but never stopping to enjoy any of the benefits of my hard work. In some twisted way, cancer is the best thing that could have
happened. It opened my eyes. I guess you’re right. I should thank it. I just wish…” She blinked her tears back. “I don’t know what I wish anymore. I’m off-balance. I don’t know how to right the ship.”

  “I know a little about starting over,” he said. “You do it one day at a time. I think you’re doing great. I know I lashed out last night,” he said when she opened her mouth, “but you’re doing great. I’m not sure about buying that cabin, but for the most part, I think you’re on your way.”

  Jade chuckled. “I like that cabin. I’m going to fix it up and make it my own.”

  “No more deer antlers?”

  She laughed and pictured the terrible light hanging over the table. “No more antlers or turquoise cabinets.”

  He winced dramatically. “Oh, now you’re going too far. You’re getting out of hand.”

  “I’m a wild woman,” Jade said with a shrug. “Get used to it.”

  “Chammont Point is a good place to restart. It’s quiet and the people are nice.”

  She studied the sorrow in his eyes. “Is that how you landed here? Starting over?’

  He nodded. “I needed to be someplace that didn’t haunt me.”

  “I know that feeling.”

  “You’ve made friends here,” Liam said.

  “I’ve made amazing friends here.” She put her hand on his. “I want to be able to include you in that. Just so you know.”

  “It won’t be easy,” he warned her. “But you’ll make it. I know you will.”

  For the first time, Jade really believed that. She was about to share that with him when his phone rang.

  “That’s Parker,” he said, pulling the phone from his pocket.

  “Hey, you lecture me about using waterproof cases. Why aren’t you using one?”

  He simply smiled as he put the phone to his ear. “What’s up, Park?”

  Jade watched curiously as he lifted his brows.

  “Okay,” he drawled out. “Hang tight. We’re on our way.”

  As soon as he ended the call, he tossed his phone at Jade and grabbed the oars. “Her water just broke.”