Playing It My Way: My Autobiography

by Sachin Tendulkar

  On the morning of 10 October, I called Arjun in South Africa and asked him to go to a room where he would be alone as I wanted to tell him something very important. I rang him back after a few minutes and told him that the two Tests against the West Indies in November would be my last. There was complete silence at the other end, so much so that I had to ask if he was still on the line. He said he was but he wasn’t able to say anything else and actually hung up on me. I knew he was crying. There was a lump in my throat. I was suddenly feeling a sense of emptiness and needed a few minutes to regain my composure. He called me back ten minutes later and chatted away about what he was up to in South Africa, but my retirement was not mentioned again. It was his way of coping with the news.

  The decision was made public that afternoon and it was an emotional time for my family. I felt remarkably calm, though, because I was convinced I had made the right call at the right time. Soon after the news broke, Anjali suggested to me that she should go and fetch Sara from school. On the way back, Anjali read Sara the kind messages she had received on her phone, telling her they were indicative of what the world thought about her baba. When Sara got home, she ran up to me and, without saying a word, just hugged me tight. This time I couldn’t help getting emotional too. I was a happy father. My children mean the world to me and it touched me to know that they were proud of what I had achieved. I hoped it also meant that they understood why I had had to go away for such long periods when they were growing up.

  By now a crowd had started to build outside the house and I was overwhelmed at the outpouring of emotion. I received a huge number of text messages and calls and made plenty myself. Despite trying my best to speak to every person who played a key role in my life, I missed out on calling many. I am sure they will all understand how much I value their contribution and that the omission was totally unintentional.

  I continued sending messages late into the night, but that is not to suggest I was having trouble sleeping again. On the contrary, I slept very well and was very much at peace with myself. On the other hand, I was still an active cricketer. I wasn’t prepared to lead a retired cricketer’s life just yet and I was looking forward to resuming practice the next day and doing my best for Mumbai and India in the month I had left.

  Getting ready for the West Indies

  My practice sessions following the announcement were very interesting. The next morning I went to the Mumbai Cricket Association’s Bandra facility to practise and the groundsmen came over to see me. They all thanked me for my contribution to cricket, when it should have been me thanking them for all they had done for me. Some became quite emotional and said they would miss me now that I wouldn’t be turning up to practise any more. I reminded them that I hadn’t retired quite yet, and in any case I would still come and practise after I’d retired – there was no way I was going to leave them in peace!

  The evening before my last session at the MCA, I called the supervisor Ajay Desai and asked him to inform all the groundsmen and helpers that I would like to meet them personally the next morning. It was my way of recognizing everything they had done for me and thanking them for their contribution to my career. I carried tokens of appreciation for them and it was deeply touching to see them all waiting patiently for me. As I thanked them for their help and support, some hugged me and a few had tears in their eyes. It was a very moving moment and I felt humbled. The best part, however, was yet to come. When I’d finished, I was expecting the groundsmen to resume their normal duties. However, to my surprise they announced that on this occasion they weren’t going to leave me. Instead, they all stood there while I went through my routine. Having spent a lifetime with the groundsmen in Mumbai, I must say I was overwhelmed at the gesture.

  It was a similar story with the groundsmen at the Wankhede. I have known these men for years and many watched me grow up as a cricketer. Once again I brought tokens of appreciation for all of them and we took a group photograph to mark the occasion. I will always remember the way they treated me.

  It was during my early-morning training sessions at the Wankhede that I met up with the MCA officials and told them about the ramp I required for my mother. I did not want to leave a single thing to chance and also checked out the box allocated to my family. In fact, it was when I was doing the initial recce that I realized that my mother would find it difficult. She is not in the best of health and it would have been difficult getting her up to the box from the car. That’s when we decided that she should sit in the president’s box instead and for safety I had also booked a room for her at the Garware Pavilion in case she felt tired and wanted to rest.

  Having checked the route the wheelchair would have to take from the car to the ramp and finally to the president’s box, and being fully convinced that it could all be done, I went ahead with the plan of formally inviting her. Being able to do this thing for my mother made the retirement Test match all the more special.

  The last Ranji match

  When I first met my team-mates from the Mumbai Ranji Trophy team after the announcement, a lot of them came up and asked me why I had decided to retire when I could have carried on for a while. It was an encouraging reaction and it felt good to see the faith they continued to have in me.

  The last Ranji Trophy game I played for Mumbai was in Lahli against Haryana, which is a state just north of Delhi, and it turned out to be quite an experience. Before travelling to Lahli, I spoke with Anirudh Chaudhry, who was our manager in England in 2011, and his father Ranbir Singh Mahendra, who was our manager in Australia in 1991–92, at the Haryana Cricket Association. Anirudh had made special arrangements to put some of us up in the Chief Minister’s guest house, which he said was a very relaxing place to stay. He had also arranged for extra security in order to make us feel comfortable.

  We flew to Delhi on our way to Lahli and when we landed we were told by Anirudh that we should have lunch at the ITC Maurya hotel while he made the final arrangements. There was a pleasant surprise awaiting me. As soon as we stepped into the lobby the lights were dimmed and I was accorded a red-carpet welcome by the general manager Anil Chadha, with all the employees standing in line and throwing rose petals at me. It was a deeply touching gesture.

  After lunch we left for Lahli. It took us approximately two and a half hours to drive to the guest house, but all along the route people were waving banners and posters and all sorts of things, making it a very memorable journey. When we finally reached the guest house, I was surprised to see the butler who had been with me in Delhi already stationed there to take care of us! He informed us that four of them had travelled from Delhi at Anirudh’s request and would be looking after us all the way through the match.

  At Lahli I felt like trying some local food and asked the manager to recommend some authentic local cuisine. The manager did not say anything in response and left the room, but then he apologized to Zaheer and informed him that Anirudh had left strict instructions about what should be served to us. He had made it clear that every day breakfast, dinner and snacks would come from the ITC Maurya in Delhi and that nothing else should be served, to avoid any risks. I must say it really was a maharaja-style outing. The Haryana Cricket Association had gone out of their way to spoil us.

  The stadium was forty minutes away from the guest house but the roads were nearly empty and it was never a problem reaching the ground in the morning. It was a beautiful arena and the conditions were tailor-made for fast bowling. The outfield was a little soft to start with because of the dampness and it would be a good test of my fitness ahead of the West Indies series. Soft outfields can put pressure on calves and hamstrings and if I had no trouble on this outfield, I would be fine at Eden Gardens or the Wankhede, the venues for my 199th and 200th Test matches.

  Mumbai’s first Ranji match of the season, which was also my last, turned out to be fascinating. A large crowd had come along and the build-up to the four-day game was unprecedented. Media from India and the re
st of the cricket-playing world had descended on the small town of Lahli and while the police tried their best to keep them at a distance, I knew that my every move was followed and every practice session filmed.

  In the first innings I was out bowled for five to a ball that jumped a little and ricocheted off my elbow onto the stumps. It was a rather disappointing dismissal after all the build-up. At Lahli, most matches are low-scoring and, sure enough, our reply to their first-innings total of 134 was only two runs more. It was a keenly contested match and in our second innings we were set 240 to win, which in a way was more like 280 because of the slow outfield.

  I had a brief chat with my team-mates in the innings break and emphasized to them the need to be aggressive after the opposition had bowled close to fifty overs, which would be approximately around teatime. On a pitch offering assistance to the fast bowlers, that was the best time for batsmen to cash in and score quickly, because that was when the ball would be older and the opposition bowlers tired. Better to take a few chances then than wait for the morning, when the bowlers would start fresh and the new ball would also be due.

  Dhawal Kulkarni, the fast-medium bowler, and I had a really good partnership towards the end of the day’s play and I kept telling him that he needed to hang in there at any cost. There wasn’t much batting left after him and a new batsman would find it difficult on the greenish pitch. Dhawal batted extremely well and showed great courage. He was hit on the helmet a couple of times but never got rattled or gave up. By the end of the day we needed 39 runs to win, with four wickets left.

  It was a 9 a.m. start on the last day and it was important to make the right call with the roller. Having seen the wicket, I told Zaheer, our captain, that the grass was dry at the top but at the bottom it was still wet. It still needed some sun to dry out completely. If we took the heavy roller the wetness would spread to the top and the pitch would turn damp. I suggested that we should not use a roller but just leave the surface as it was, because all that was required was 39 runs, which wouldn’t take more than an hour or so to get.

  Again Dhawal batted well and showed great resilience and we managed to knock off the runs in an hour or so. His contribution of 16 was critical because on that surface we could easily have lost the last four wickets for ten runs. I was pleased to remain unbeaten on 79 in my final Ranji outing. It was a satisfying victory and a good way for Mumbai to start their Ranji Trophy campaign.

  At the end of the game, the Haryana team gave me a guard of honour and my own team-mates chaired me off the ground on their shoulders. While the gesture was touching, it’s always slightly concerning being carried on the shoulders of team-mates. There’s a good chance of being dropped and with two Test matches still to play, it wouldn’t have been a great way to get injured. The Mumbai team had also arranged for a send-off in the room adjoining our dressing room, which was particularly touching. The Mumbai Cricket Association secretary Nitin Dalal was also there and a cake was cut in my honour and all the players said a few words. A number of them turned emotional as they spoke, and some had tears in their eyes. It was all very moving.

  That wasn’t the only surprise at Lahli. Unbeknown to me, Anirudh had invited a few of my closest friends – Sameer Dighe, Faisal Momen and Jagdish Chavan – to watch the game. He had sent them tickets himself and also arranged for their accommodation. On the evening of the first day of the game, the local manager came up to me and said there was someone waiting to take a picture and it wouldn’t take more than a minute. I stepped outside, ready to pose, only to see my friends grinning at me. It was a great feeling to see them in Lahli. They have all been by my side through good and bad and it was a pleasant surprise to have them around me for my last domestic game.

  Winning that Ranji Trophy match meant I had won all my final matches in every format of the game so far. It was a record I was extremely proud of and I hoped I would be able to keep it intact in my final series for India. Lahli had served as good preparation. Now I was looking forward to my penultimate Test match in Kolkata.

  Farewell Eden Gardens

  Having relaxed for a couple of days at home in Mumbai, and having visited the temples in Mumbai and Goa that I always visit to seek the blessings of God, I arrived in Kolkata on the evening of 3 November 2013. As always, Dwarkanath and Kalpa Sanzgiri had sent me ladoos (a type of Indian sweet) on the eve of the series to wish me luck. There was a mini welcome ceremony arranged by the Cricket Association of Bengal at the airport and there were a lot of people inside the terminal to receive me. In fact, the police were finding it very difficult to control the crowd and I had to hurry into the lounge to give them time to calm things down.

  The situation showed no signs of improving in the next half an hour and I realized that the longer I waited, the more difficult it would be for us to leave the airport. I called the police and informed them I had to leave for the hotel as soon as possible. A large number of security personnel accompanied me to the car while the crowd showered me with rose petals. The affection was overwhelming. Kolkata has always been a city that loves its cricket and the people there have always embraced me with warmth. I was delighted that the 199th Test match was being played at Eden Gardens, one of the best cricket grounds in the world when it comes to atmosphere.

  During my first two days in Kolkata, Pintu (Raghunath Basak) gave me a massage for almost two hours each day to help me relax and my friend Samar Paul brought me food from home and we all had dinner in my room with Virat, Rohit, Ajinkya and Pragyan Ojha. I have known Samarda from 1991 and was first introduced to him by Dilip Vengsarkar. Every visit to Kolkata has been made special by the food that Samarda has kindly brought from home. Pintu too has been a constant in Kolkata from 1994, and it has been a routine that he would give me a massage and we would then end up having dinner in my room. Also, Joydeep Mukherjee would always take me to the Kali temple whenever I went to Kolkata, visits I have always looked forward to.

  When I arrived at the ground on the morning of 4 November, I was very surprised by what was there to greet me. A wax statue of me was standing right outside the dressing room and the walls were covered with pictures of me from different stages of my career.

  I tried to follow my normal pre-match routines as far as that was possible. I batted for a while in the nets, but I was fairly cautious while playing football with the rest of the boys, because the last thing I wanted to do was get injured. Afterwards we went back to the hotel and I went to the gym and later relaxed in my room watching movies and listening to music. It was all very normal. I ate dinner with my team-mates and was in a very good frame of mind.

  Since the retirement announcement every news channel had been talking about my career and I tried to cocoon myself from it all as much as possible. I did see some of the coverage, however, and couldn’t help thinking about how many years had gone by since my debut. It was pleasing to be reminded of everything I had been able to achieve in my career, but I still had a job to do and I didn’t want to let myself get distracted. I did not want to retire mentally before I finally called it a day at the end of the second Test in Mumbai.

  The 199th Test

  On 6 November 2013, the West Indies won the toss and decided to bat first. There was a sizeable crowd at Eden Gardens on the first morning. Making a rare exception to her routine of praying at home, Anjali had come to see the match and it was a real surprise for me to see her and Arjun in the stands. When I had spoken to her the night before, I had sensed that something was cooking but didn’t know exactly what. It turned out she had spoken with my friend and co-writer Boria Majumdar and planned the visit as a surprise. I became aware of her presence only when an announcement was made that she was in the stands. I must say it was a delight to see them both when we met up at the end of the day’s play.

  This is what Anjali told me about making that special trip to Kolkata. It was a ritual with us that she would wish me well on the eve of a Test series. Before leaving for Kolkata
, I had said to Anjali that it would be the last time she would have to do so. Anjali told me later that as I left for the airport with Ajit, who always dropped me off whenever I travelled, she could not control her tears. She had to go to meet Arjun’s cricket coaches, who had come from England, at the Waterstones Club, which was close to the airport, and so she was in a car behind me for most of the way, with tears rolling down her cheeks. Even when she reached the club, she just could not control her emotions and burst into tears when she met up with Arjun’s coaches. The poor chaps did not understand why coming to see them had made her cry! That’s when she told them the real reason and then they insisted on accompanying her to Kolkata to watch me play.

  We had bowled the West Indies out for 234 on the first day and I was keen to do well when I went out to bat on the morning of day two. I had played a couple of good shots when I fell to an lbw decision I wasn’t very happy with. These things are part of the game, of course, but it seemed to me that the ball from the off-spinner Shane Shillingford was going over the stumps. It was frustrating, but there was nothing I could do about it. Replays showed the ball was going at least six inches over the stumps.

  Having lost a few quick wickets, we were under pressure when Rohit Sharma and Ashwin started a rebuilding act. Rohit played spectacularly on debut and Ashwin was the perfect foil. Both got hundreds and their partnership of 280 was instrumental in winning us the Test. It had taken the wind out of the West Indies’ sails. Mohammed Shami, another debutant, finished the job in the second innings with an excellent spell of reverse-swing bowling, taking five wickets to add to his four in the first innings. He was getting the ball to move appreciably and has a bright career ahead.