Gorilla Dating

by Kristen Ethridge

  “It won’t be too bad, Kate. I wouldn’t worry about it. She’ll probably forget by Monday, anyway.”

  I know Jack is trying to be sweet and reassuring. But I also know Laura Lynn. The old adage says that an elephant never forgets. Not true.

  The one animal in the world with the longest-lasting memory is the primate known as the Queen Chimp.

  I am eager to put some distance—both space and time—between Laura Lynn and myself, so we stay on the balcony for a bit longer, enjoying a companionable silence.

  After we find our way back inside, the rest of the ball is a blur. There’s a five-course meal and more dancing. At the end of the evening, they announce the winners of the silent auction. Jack’s name is called as the winner of a weekend for two at a fabulous spa out on the lake.

  “For you, Bear,” he says when he returns from the emcee’s table, dropping an envelope with the gift certificate in front of me.

  “But how?” Jack hadn’t left my side all evening, and we hadn’t participated in any of the auctions when we walked past the tables earlier.

  “When you went to the restroom to freshen up an hour ago. I thought you might like a weekend of pampering after all the stress of the zoo project is over at work.”

  “I’m touched. Thank you.” I lean over and give him a peck on the cheek.

  “A fancy spa weekend and that’s it?” He grins mischievously.

  “Well, you don’t exactly want me to mug down with you in front of all these people do you?” I’m blushing a little at the thought. How embarrassing would that be?

  It sure would be fun, though…

  “I can’t believe you just said that, Kate. Kids and their slang these days.” Jack chuckles. “No, I don’t want you to ‘mug down’ with me. I want my girlfriend to take a friend like Mimi and go have a wonderful, relaxing, indulgent weekend.”

  Everything about this night has been wonderful. Except for running into Laura Lynn. She’s sitting at a table far in the back, but thankfully we haven’t crossed paths again with her since the balcony.

  When it’s all over, I feel a bit like Cinderella, waiting for the carriage to turn into a pumpkin. Actually, I feel a lot like Cinderella. I got a blister on my left foot and removed my shoe once we left the ballroom. I’m hobbling on one silver metallic—alas, not glass—slipper out to the parking lot.

  “Do you need me to carry you?” The very idea sounds appealing, but I have to decline.

  “No, it would probably just be easier if I took the other shoe off too.”

  “Okay, well, you stay here and do that, and I’ll go get the car.”

  I wait near the front door for Jack to come back. He pulls up to the curb a few minutes later, a silver streak among the more sedate Lexus and BMW sedans.

  “Your chariot, m’lady.”

  We ride back to my apartment with Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” on the radio and the wind in our hair. I know I will never be able to hear Peter Gabriel singing about seeing the doorway to a thousand churches in his beloved’s eyes without thinking of Jack’s sapphire blue ones and this magical evening, the night he said he had fallen in love with me.

  * * *

  I feel let down when we pull into the parking lot at my apartment complex. Our night out is over, even though I want to hang onto it like a stubborn child. I don’t want to let the moment go.

  “Thank you for taking me tonight, Jack,” I say as we stand on the landing outside my front door. I haven’t unlocked the door yet because it’s late and I don’t want our lingering goodbyes to wake up Mimi.

  “There’s no one I would have rather gone with. You looked stunning tonight and you were wonderful company, as always.” Jack reaches out and takes my hand, tracing the outlines softly with his thumb. “I know you’re worried about what Laura Lynn might say on Monday, especially after what she did this week. Don’t waste the energy on it, Kate. Please. Everything will be fine.”

  Even though Jack’s optimism sounds reassuring, I remember Al’s words to me on Tuesday. He made it clear—in his own way—that Jack and I had to keep our new relationship quiet because he couldn’t condone it if word got out. I don’t want to put Al in a bad position, but I have a feeling that being seen by Laura Lynn tonight will do just that.

  “I’ll try not to worry, and I’ll keep you posted on Monday.” I stand on tiptoes, trying to initiate our parting kiss. He tilts his head slightly and meets me halfway. All at once, it’s sweet like sugar, but substantive. The best way to describe it is to say that sharing moments like this with Jack are more complex than anything I’ve ever known.

  “Good night, Kate. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I promise we’ll have lunch together this week, too. I’ll make time in my schedule.” He brushes stray hair away from the curve of my cheekbone with a deliberate sweep of his fingers that came to cradle my chin. “I meant what I said on the balcony, Kate. Remember that.”

  He lightly kisses my cheek, then turns to leave. The angel on my shoulder whispers excitedly to my heart and my mind that tonight is the moment I’ve been waiting for all my life.

  But the voice in my other ear laughs and says that maybe it’s all too good to be true.

  15

  “Gorillas feel deeply and remember for years. Groups are not territorial and generally avoid each other, but when they do meet, sometimes threats and fighting occur, with the Silverback remaining to challenge the attacker while the rest of the group flees.”

  --“About Gorillas,” The Gorilla Foundation, www.koko.org

  * * *

  As much as I promised Jack on Saturday night that I wouldn’t worry about Laura Lynn, I decided to put on an extra layer of antiperspirant this Monday morning while I am dressing. It’s easy to say I’m not going to stress about something, but far harder to control the involuntary reactions that my body has every time I think about walking into the office today. Whoever said “don’t sweat the small stuff” seriously has not looked at my bill for little white sticks of deodorant.

  When I arrive at work, it appears that all is quiet. I check my e-mail and decide to read my daily motivational message first.

  To: Kate_Cormick@browncomm.com

  From:yourdailydevotional@lakeshorechurchatwork.com

  Subject:Monday Morning e-Devotional

  * * *

  “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.”

  Matthew 6:26-28 (NIV)

  Hmmm. Well, I guess that pretty much sums up the attitude that I need to have today. Clearly, I shouldn’t worry about my job, because somehow God will still support my clothing habit.

  Okay, that’s not what it means…but I am glad that this particular verse popped up in my inbox this morning. It has a great deal of meaning to me, all things considered.

  I turn on my favorite streaming radio station and plug in my headphones. I am making the active choice to focus on my work and to think about what a great weekend I had with Jack. As the familiar opening drumbeats to one of my favorite songs begin to cascade through to my ears, I feel my mood lighten noticeably.

  The song sings about forever and faithfulness. A good thing to remember this morning while I’m unsuccessfully trying not to worry about things far beyond my control.

  There’s lots of work to do for this Friday’s zoo opening. I have details to check and re-check and about twenty media calls to make. This week is going to be crazy enough. I certainly don’t need to make anything worse by worrying myself to total distraction.

  The morning actually passes quickly, as I check off items from my task list at a rapid pace. With everything going on for the next five days, I have a task list for each day already mapped out, detailing everything I need to accomplish between now and Friday’s gala.

  At lun
chtime, I’m on such a roll that I decide to go pick up takeout to bring back to my desk. I walk down the street to my favorite taco shop. Since it’s Monday, the daily special is three crispy tacos, rice, beans, and a drink. I eat here a lot. I have all the daily specials memorized and am on a first-name basis with the owner. Ten minutes after ordering, I am back at my desk, once again listening to the radio over the Internet and getting back to work.

  I am also trying valiantly not to drip taco grease on any important documents currently on my desk.

  As I crunch down the last bite of my third taco, my phone rings.

  “Hello, this is Kate.”

  “Katie, it’s Al. Can you come to my office for a minute?”

  “Sure, I’ll be right there.” I hang up the phone and try to mentally dissect the purpose of this impromptu meeting. My first thought centers around Laura Lynn and Saturday night, but Al didn’t sound very serious, so that makes me think it’s going to be another topic of conversation entirely.

  When I reach Al’s office, the door is closed. I knock twice.

  “Come in.” I can hear Al clearly through the wall and the closed door. I open the door, walk inside, and close it back behind me.

  “Katie, have a seat.” Al gestures at one of the guest chairs in front of his desk. It’s the same chair I sat in last Tuesday, when I couldn’t bear to look Al in the eye and instead stared at his rug. Hopefully, I will have more success with eye contact this afternoon.

  “What do you need, Al?”

  “Well, Katie, I’ve been putting this little meeting off as long as I can today, but I just had another person in here discussing the situation.”

  I’m afraid I know where this is going. My ears start to warm. It won’t take much before I reach a full-fledged blushing stage.

  “When I came in this morning, Laura Lynn was waiting near my door. She said that she ran into you on Saturday night. She went on to say that you were acting in a manner she felt was inappropriate out on the balcony of the Driskill.”

  Wow. She was waiting for Al. That’s worse than I ever thought it would be. Thankfully, so far, the antiperspirant stick is holding strong. “Al, that’s not entirely accurate.”

  “Let me finish, Katie.” He clears his throat. “Apparently, Laura Lynn has also talked to Cindy, who was just in my office not ten minutes ago. I’m pretty sure she’s told all the kids over in that area of hers, too.” Al waved a hand in the direction of “the pen.”

  “Al, can I please explain?” I feel that I must defend myself. It was one kiss. Sure, it was the best kiss of my life, but it was just one kiss. It wasn’t great because of anything overly physical, so I know Laura Lynn didn’t see anything inappropriate.

  It was great because of the emotion behind it. It was great because we both knew where we stood with each other. It was great because it was the first kiss after realizing there was something greater between us than just being together on a starry Texas night.

  “Katie, I trust you. You know I do. You’ve never been a girl who acts in an inappropriate manner and I shouldn’t think you’d start doing so now. But that’s not really the issue.” Al plants his elbow on the desk and rests his chin in his palm. “Remember what I told you last week when I asked you to keep this quiet?”

  “Yes, Al, I do.” Visions of pink slips begin to pirouette in my head.

  “This is a difficult situation. You’ve done good work in your time here, and I think this is truly a misunderstanding of circumstances. So, with that in mind, I’m not going to be too harsh. However, there are a bunch of young employees out there who do need to understand that this is not standard operating procedure and I’m going to have to change our HR rules. I can’t have an office full of co-eds trying to go out on Saturday nights with our clients.”

  My chin tugs downward. I truly do just want to look at the rug again.

  “So, Katie, I’ve thought about it. Effective immediately, you’re going to fill in temporarily on Tom Bostian’s team until a new permanent position can be found for you. You’ve done good work on this zoo opening, so I think the Travel and Entertainment team will give you the chance to use those strengths you’ve demonstrated over the last month. It puts us in a bad position so close to the opening of the zoo, but it has to be done. I need you to bring Logan up to speed on what you’re in the middle of and hand it off to him. Then, set up a meeting with Tom to see what he needs you to pick up.” I can feel Al looking at me, staring pointedly into the crown of my head. “I’m sorry, Katie, but this means you won’t be working on the zoo opening anymore. We’ll decide later what to do with your position, going forward.”

  I nod my head without saying a word.

  I raise my head and stand up from the chair, ready to accept the consequences of my actions.

  “I’m sorry I disappointed you, Al.”

  I leave the room before any further words are said.

  I am pretty certain that I am being childish, but instead of going over to “the pen” to hand off my folder to Logan in person, I compose a detailed e-mail. None of this has anything to do with Logan, but still, I’m too embarrassed to walk in the middle of all those co-workers that Laura Lynn has already gossiped with.

  A large part of me wants to dole out a good mental whipping to myself. I wanted to attend that ball and I wanted to attend it with Jack. And so I did, regardless of what I knew could happen. Instead, I should have exercised better judgment and not shown up at that public of a function with him until after the zoo opened. Only seven days of restraint and this all could have been avoided.

  I said nothing was more important than establishing my career here.

  I lied to myself. I made myself think I could have whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I was no better than a chimp with a fancy new tech toy.

  And the only person to blame is me.

  After I hand off everything to Logan, I tear up my task lists for the week. I collect the five sheets together and make one rip horizontally, then vertically. I take the individual pieces and continue ripping until there’s a snowdrift piled in the corner of my desk. Later, I meet with Tom for about five minutes. He tells me I can go home a little early today, as he needs some time to gather up projects for me.

  I’ve been wishing for the day to be over since I finished my conversation with Al, so I take Tom up on his offer, leave the office and go home.

  From the minute I walk in the door, both Mimi and Dijon can sense something is not quite right.

  “Something happened today, didn’t it? Something bad.” Mimi puts a self-help television talk show on mute. “Is it Jack?”

  I fall on the couch and slump back into a position that can barely be described as sitting. Dijon hops up on my lap and curls up into a ball, trying to offer poodle comfort.

  “More or less, but it’s not what you think. Remember how I told you we saw Laura Lynn on Saturday night?”

  Mimi nods affirmatively. “Did she tell on you, Kate?”

  The use of the elementary-school phrase “tell on you” seems so apropos right now. In truth, that’s what happened. Laura Lynn tattled.

  “Pretty much. She was waiting outside of Al’s office when he got in this morning, to tell him all about it. She said we were ‘inappropriate.’ It was one kiss on the balcony, Mimi. Then she told Cindy and others in the office and people started to gossip, so Al reassigned me. I’m on Tom Bostian’s team now. I’m off the zoo team.”

  Mimi leans over and gives me one of her famous hugs. “Kate, I’m sorry. You’ll still be able to go to the zoo opening, right?”

  “No, I’m not needed anymore. I had to give all my files to Logan. I’ll be here Friday night, catching up on everything that’s stored in my DVR.”

  “Does Jack know?”

  “I haven’t talked to him. I’m sure Cindy called him, though.” All of a sudden, one thing—and one thing only—sounds good to me. “I think I’m going to go take a short nap before dinner, Mimi.”

  “I think that’s a
good thing.” She picks up Dijon as I stand up, then hands him up to me. “Take your snuggle-poodle with you. I think you need a friend right now.”

  I head back to my room and lay down on my bed, then begin to drown in the depth of my thoughts. On the one hand, I know Jack and I have something special. I do love him. I know that. He makes my world seem brighter whenever he’s around.

  But inevitably, I come back to what I was thinking earlier. I made my recent job change with the intent to be successful and have long-term opportunities for career advancement. Now, here I am, barely at the start of my career at Brown & Company, and I have been reassigned to another team. And thanks to Laura Lynn and the office gossip train, everyone will now know why. It could take months—or worse, years—to shake this off me.

  Or I may never shake it off. And then what? This whole gamble to change my career path and change my life will be for nothing.

  And I have no one to blame but myself.

  I have been alternately resting and reading when the phone rings. I check the caller ID. It’s Jack. I want to hear his voice, but I’m scared to talk to him. I’m scared of what I might say.

  “Hello?” I bite the bullet and answer the phone.

  “Kate? I got a call from Al Brown as I was walking out the door to a meeting this afternoon. What happened?”

  The concern in his tone of voice makes me start to lose it. “It was Laura Lynn.” I begin to snuffle and the words come out haltingly. “She waited outside of Al’s office until he came in this morning. It was like an ambush or something. She told him, then she told all the other Chimps. By lunchtime, it was all over the office and Al had to do something about it.”

  “I see. So, they’ve taken you off everything zoo-related?”

  “Yes. I’m working with the team that handles our travel and entertainment clients. Al did say that he put me there since I’d done such a good job with what I’d put together for the opening so far. But he clearly told me that my permanent fate won’t be decided until later.”