The Beast

by Faye Kellerman

  Decker grabbed her hand. “No way. We’re in this together.”

  “I’m just getting a bottle of water. Why should I die of thirst while you two are having it out?” She broke away. “I promise I’ll be back.”

  “Yeah, right,” Decker muttered. “No wonder I spend so many hours at the office.”

  “I heard that,” she said from the kitchen.

  “You were supposed to hear that,” he yelled back. He looked up and regarded the kid—a picture of dejection. “Yes?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” Decker stood up and began to pace. “For lying to me? Apology accepted. For speaking the truth? No need for apologies. You’re right. I’m not your father or your stepfather or any real relationsh—”

  “Peter—”

  “As a matter of fact, what I should have done in the first place is call up Chris, your real father, and take myself out of the equation.”

  “Please don’t call Chris—”

  “It’s not for revenge, Gabriel, but I have to tell him what happened. So if your ass winds up in jail, he’ll know the backstory. Because I’m sure not going to bail you out.”

  “Don’t call up my dad—”

  Rina had walked in. “He’s not calling up your father.”

  Decker said, “Why not? Knowing Chris, he wouldn’t care a whit. He’d probably congratulate you and laugh at me for giving a solitary rat’s ass.”

  “Peter, please!” Rina said.

  “I’ll do anything, okay?” Panic behind Gabe’s eyeglasses. His voice rose in pitch. “Just please don’t call Chris!”

  “Why? I would think you’d be happy to get me out of your life!”

  “What do you want from me, Peter? You want me to beg?”

  “Peter, enough!” Rina told him.

  Decker pulled back. He pointed to the couch, and the boy fell onto the seat cushion and threw his head back. Then he looked at Decker with pleading eyes. “I’d much rather deal with your anger than with his ridicule, which is exactly what’s gonna happen if you call him up . . . ‘God Gabe, you can’t even fuck your girlfriend without screwing up.’” He looked at Rina. “Sorry about my language.”

  “Have some water.” She gave him a bottle, but he didn’t open it.

  “Do I get one of those, or is it only for poor little adolescent boys?” Decker asked.

  Rina rolled her eyes. “I’ll be right back.”

  Decker was still pacing. “Did you use protection?”

  “Yeah . . . I’m stupid but I’m not suicidal.”

  “You’re not stupid.”

  “Yeah, I am. I totally screwed up. I’m sorry that you got involved. You don’t deserve that. I’m not your problem.”

  “By facts on the ground, you are my problem.”

  “Sorry.” A pause. Gabe said, “She didn’t have to call the police on me.”

  Despite his anger, Decker felt himself smiling. He sat down next to the kid. “That was a little extreme.”

  “I would have gone out for coffee. The motel was her idea. And don’t tell me I should have said no. No guy my age would have said no.”

  “You can’t see her anymore.”

  “I know that.”

  “Tell me the truth, Gabe. How long have you been in contact with her? And don’t tell me you haven’t been in contact with her because I know you have been.”

  “I never said I haven’t been in contact with her.”

  “Yes, you did.” Rina handed Decker a bottle of water. “You told me that you haven’t e-mailed her, texted her, called her, or talked to her on Facebook.”

  “That part is completely true.” Gabe paused. “Snail mail. She has a POB.”

  “You write to each other?” Decker asked.

  Rina smiled. “How quaint.”

  Decker said, “You can’t contact her anymore, Gabe. Even by snail mail. No more contact!”

  “I can’t do that. You just don’t understand—”

  “I don’t understand?” Decker shook his head. “Can you at least be a little more original than that?”

  “No, you really don’t understand.” His eyes were on fire. “You weren’t there!”

  Decker was quiet.

  Gabe was all passion. “That day, I laid it on the line for her . . . but she laid it on the line for me. And that’s a lot more than I can say for my own freakin’ mother, okay.” He balled his hands into fists. “When she left me . . . the way she left me . . . you’ve never been abandoned so don’t say you know how I feel.”

  “I don’t know how you feel . . . exactly.” Decker held up his hand. “And before you jump down my throat, I will explain. I was adopted. When I was an adult . . . after I married Rina . . . by chance I met my biological mother. It was traumatic. It was especially galling to me because she had five other children. In my childish mind, I felt it wasn’t that she didn’t want kids. It was she didn’t want me. I knew at the time it was stupid, my biological mother was a pregnant and panicked teenager. I’m not saying it’s the same thing as you, Gabriel, but I do have an idea of what it feels like to be given up.”

  The boy drummed his fingers against his leg. “So we’ve both experienced betrayal. So then you should know why I have to talk to Yasmine again. I don’t want her to think that I’m breaking up with her.”

  “Gabriel . . .” Decker thought about his words. “Once she’s a legal adult, you’re off the hook. But until then, you’re stuck. It’s only a couple of years until she’s eighteen.”

  “If her mother doesn’t ship her out to Israel or something.” Gabe shook his head. “I don’t know why her mom hates me so much.”

  “She doesn’t hate you—”

  “Yes, she does, and I do know why. I’m the wrong ethnicity and the wrong religion. I can’t change my origin of birth but I told Yasmine I’d convert to Judaism. Actually, I’ve already started to look into converting. I’d probably convert even if there was no Yasmine.”

  Rina sat down next to him. “Really?”

  Decker said, “Boy, you really know how to get on my wife’s good side, Mr. Charming.”

  “Stop it, Peter.” She looked at Gabe. “Why would you want to convert, Gabriel?”

  He thought about the question. “I dunno. I like you guys. I guess I’d do it to feel closer to my make-believe family.”

  “Gabriel, we are not make-believe.” When he didn’t answer, Rina said, “And you know you always have a home here.”

  “Thank you for saying that.” He checked his watch. It was past nine. “I don’t mean to sound pedestrian, but is there anything to eat? I’m starved.”

  “I’ll go set up dinner.” She went back inside the kitchen.

  Gabe looked at Decker. “That was babyish . . . saying that you’re not my father.”

  “It was juvenile, but you’re still a kid. Forget it.” Decker patted his knee. “You’ll feel better once you’re back in school.”

  “I’m not going back,” Gabe said. “At least not for the next couple of months.”

  “Okay,” Decker said. “Can I ask why?”

  “I’m not in a good place right now. I think the trial affected me more than I thought.”

  “You need downtime,” Decker said.

  “Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen. I have to go on tour in six weeks. I just got an e-mail from my agent. He’s booked me in two more cities where I have to play a couple of pieces that I don’t know all that well. I called up Nick. He said he can help me out, so that’s the good news. I’ve e-mailed the school. The only thing I have left to do this semester is a couple of performance finals. I can pick that up anytime. If I’m too much for you guys, I can stay with my aunt. But I’d like to use the piano . . . in the garage . . . that you rented for me . . . when you still liked me.”

  “Stop it already.” Decker smiled. “You’re welcome to stay here anytime you want for as long as you want—with your make-believe family.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Oka
y, Gabe. You’ve played the sympathy card very skillfully. Even I feel bad. If you stop milking it now, you earn the victory.”

  “So I can stay here, as long as I don’t see Yasmine.”

  “Yes. That is the condition. Sympathy or not, I’m not bailing you out of jail.”

  “I need to talk to her about it, Peter. You can understand that, right?” Silence. “Can you talk to her mom for me?”

  “You’ve got to be kidding!”

  “You’re right. I’ll talk to her mother myself.”

  “That’s not going to happen.” Decker tapped his foot. “Give me a couple of days. I need time to think about how to handle Stormin’ Nourmand.”

  Gabe’s smile was genuine. “God, I don’t envy you.”

  Decker threw his arm around the boy. “I’ll do what I can. That’s all I’m saying. In the meantime, no contact with her. Got it?”

  “Yeah, I got it.” Gabe laid his head on the shoulder and didn’t talk. It was nice to be protected by someone big and strong. It was also nice that someone cared.

  Even if it was only make-believe.

  GAINING A SECOND wind over dinner, Gabe ranted about the injustices of the world. He turned to his best ally—Rina. “I’m so damn angry. How would you feel if Peter’s mother tried to have you arrested?”

  Decker said, “My mother is ninety-five. Pick another example.”

  Rina said, “Gabe, I really do get how you feel. But as a mother, I understand how Sohala feels. She doesn’t know how wonderful you are.”

  “Can you tell her?”

  Decker said, “I don’t think either one of us have clout with her right now.”

  The doorbell rang. Rina got up and glanced through the peephole. She took off her apron. “Oh dear. It’s Sohala.”

  “I’m outta here,” Gabe said. “Does she look mad?”

  “I can’t tell. You live here. Just stay put.” Rina opened the door. Sohala was dressed in party attire—a glittery black slinky sweater, black leggings, and boots. Her hair was up, and she had on a full face of makeup. As she gave Rina a kiss on the cheek, she sneaked a glance at Gabe and asked to come in.

  “Of course you can come in,” Rina said.

  Another look at Gabe. He said, “I think I’m going to take a shower.”

  “Please, Gabriel, you stay here.” Sohala’s voice was soft. “May I sit?”

  “Of course,” Rina said.

  Decker said, “Well, if I’m not needed, I think I’ll clear the dishes.”

  Sohala dashed him of his hope of a fast getaway. “You stay here, too, please. Everyone stay. Please.”

  The teen sat on the couch between Decker and Rina. Sohala sat across from them. She gave the boy the full force of eye contact. “I want to tell you something. Gabriel. I am very sorry for my behavior this afternoon. There is a Persian bakery right near the motel. My friend told me about Yasmine’s car in the parking lot. I got very scared. Yasmine doesn’t answer her phone. I think maybe it is a kidnapper.”

  “Ah,” Rina said. “That explains a lot. I’m sure you were shaken up.”

  “Yes, very much.” The woman was happy to have found a sympathetic ear.

  “I understand,” Rina said. “Are you all right now, Sohala?”

  “Not so good, but who cares about me? Certainly not my daughter.”

  “She loves you,” Gabe muttered. “That’s the problem.”

  “I don’t care about her love, I care that she listens to me. She don’t listen to me.”

  Gabe looked at her with soulful green eyes under his specs. “Why do you hate me so much?”

  “Gabriel, I don’t hate you. How could I hate a boy who saves my daughter’s life? I’m sorry I tell the police to arrest you. I think you are a marvelous boy. But I want you to listen to me.” She stared at his nearly bald head. “You really make a movie?”

  “I was in a movie. I didn’t make it.”

  “What kind of a movie?”

  “Some stupid independent film.”

  “So why you bald?”

  “Because I play a psychotic who has a breakdown. In the final scene, they put me in a straitjacket and shave my head. Until a month ago, I had long hair.”

  “You get paid for the movie?”

  The boy was confused. “Yeah, I got paid.”

  “How much?”

  The boy stared at her.

  Sohala said, “Never mind. Doesn’t matter. Gabriel, I know you love my daughter.”

  “I do, Mrs. Nourmand. I really, really do.”

  “If you do, you want what’s best for her. That’s why I ask you this. You have to tell her you don’t see her anymore.”

  “I really don’t have a choice, do I? If I get caught again, you’ll have me arrested.”

  “No, I don’t have you arrested anymore. But you still need to stop seeing Yasmine. You have to tell her that you want to break up.”

  “But I don’t want to break up with her. That would be a total lie.”

  “So you lie.”

  “Why would I break both of our hearts for no reason?”

  Sohala looked at him as if he were an errant child. “You are famous pianist who stars in a movie, no?”

  “No, I am not famous. I’m just a heartsick guy who loves your daughter.”

  Sohala tried again. “Well some piano players are famous.”

  “Most are not.”

  “But it’s what you want to do, yes?”

  Gabe regarded her. “Yes, it’s what I want to do. It’s very satisfying.”

  “People pay money to hear you play so you have to be very good, right?”

  He wondered where she was going. “Right.”

  “And to play for people, you must travel?”

  “Of course.”

  “All over,” she said. “Like to many countries.”

  “I hope so.”

  “You travel how much during the year?”

  “About two months during the school year . . . more in the summer when there are a lot of music festivals.”

  “And after you graduate, you travel more, no? You can travel for very long time.”

  Gabe felt his stomach drop. “Not a long time.” A fib. “A couple of months.”

  “Or maybe more, no?”

  Gabe was quiet. This wasn’t leading to a good place.

  “Gabriel, Yasmine is sixteen. She is a child. Even when she turns eighteen and goes to college . . . even if she goes away to college . . . just what is she supposed to do when you’re away so long? Sit in a room, waiting for you to come back only to go away again? And while you go after your dream, is it fair to ask her to miss out on her life? Is it fair to ask her to be lonely while everyone around her is out having fun?”

  For the first time since this afternoon, he began to squirm. “I can do other things.”

  “Like what?”

  “I can teach, you know.” The words sounded empty even to his ears.

  “And that is what you want? To be a piano teacher.”

  The room was silent.

  “I don’t ask Rina and the lieutenant for their opinions, but they know I’m right.” She leaned forward. “Let her fly, Gabriel. Let her meet friends, let her go to parties, let her live a normal young life.”

  “I never told her she can’t go to parties. I want her to have fun!”

  “She won’t do anything as long as you are around. You need to give her chance to develop. If you truly love her, you see that I am right.”

  Gabe felt his eyes watering up. “This isn’t fair.”

  “And it’s fair for you to have her wait for months until you come back to her?”

  “She can do anything she wants,” Gabe said. “I’ve always told her that.”

  “What she wants is to be with you all the time. To pack your bags and travel with you and be your little house pet. She is a brilliant girl. Give her a chance to truly sing.”

  Gabe didn’t say anything and neither did Sohala. He turned to Rina. “This isn’t fair.”
He looked pleadingly at Decker. “This is so not fair.”

  Neither one of them said anything.

  Gabe said, “And you agree with her right?” His eyes darted between Decker and Rina. “Really. I want to hear what you think.”

  Decker went first, “I know you love her, Gabe. But Sohala is making a good point.”

  “So what do you want me to do?” The boy folded his arms across his chest. “Tell her I don’t love her anymore? I’m not going to do that.”

  “No, I don’t think you do that,” Sohala said. “It wouldn’t be true and it would be hurtful. Still, you must tell her to date other people. If it’s meant to be, you two will go back together.” She swallowed hard. “If she dates other boys and decides she still loves you, I promise I will accept you in my family if you convert.”

  Gabe stared at her. “You expect me to tell her to date other guys? Forget it!”

  Sohala’s eyes watered up. “Sometimes in life, you must do hard things. If she comes back to you after she tries others, I will support whatever she wants. Just give her a chance to grow up. You’ll love her more as a woman instead of a little girl who idolizes you and can’t see in front of her nose.”

  Again Gabe wiped his eyes. “I’ll . . . talk to her, okay. But no guarantees.”

  “Good—”

  “And with one condition.” He looked at Sohala. “You got to get her to take singing lessons again. You can’t stand in her way if she wants to perform.”

  Sohala narrowed her eyes. “I give her singing lessons again, hokay?”

  “That’s not what I said,” Gabe told her. “If she wants to study opera, you have to help her do that.”

  The woman folded her arms across her chest. “That’s not fair.”

  Rina interceded. “You can either both compromise or you can continue to battle.” She stood up. “I’m going to clear the dishes.”

  “I’ll help you,” Decker said.

  Gabe said, “If you agree to let her do whatever she wants, then I’ll agree to what you ask.”

  “Hokay.” Sohala wiped her eyes. “If you tell her good-bye, I agree.”

  First, calm Mom down. Gabe said, “And . . . for the record . . . I see your point. It’s unfair to let her wait around for me.” How the hell was he going to get around this? “I’ll tell her to date other guys as long as you agree to encourage her as a singer. Do we have a deal?”