Queen of the Summer Stars: Book Two of the Guinevere Trilogy

by Persia Woolley

  Arthur rode on a crest of exhilaration with Bedivere always at his side until, stumbling through the throng-packed halls on their way to bed, a note is pressed into Arthur’s hand, “Come quickly,” it pleads, though there is no signature. The new King shrugs and telling Bedivere he’ll rejoin him shortly, disappears in the wake of Morgause’s servant.

  Bedivere notes how long his foster-brother is gone and grows concerned. As the night wanes he goes in search of Arthur, padding through silent halls with only a rushlight to guide him. There are people asleep everywhere—on couches, under tables, sprawled on beds or curled in corners. But none are Arthur, and the one wakeful servant Bedivere finds has no idea where the High King is or who would have sent for him. At last the lieutenant returned to the royal chamber, telling himself there was nothing to fear from the revelers.

  Hung over and groggy, the boy-King made it back in time to prepare for the oath swearing. As Bedivere helps him dress, Arthur marvels at the reception he is receiving…to say nothing of the insatiable appetite of a beautiful, painted woman who has a strawberry birthmark on her cheek. All night long she’d flirted, taunted, teased and roused him to passion over and over again—frequently chuckling about nothing at all. The young Pendragon shakes his head in amazement, wondering aloud to Bedivere how city women could be so different from country girls.

  ***

  Bedivere’s voice had grown hard and cold. He took out his flask of Irish brew and, removing the cap, offered it to me. The strong, dark liquid scalded my throat, and I coughed and sputtered while he took a long drink himself before going on with his story.

  “He had absolutely no idea who she was, Gwen. Young, naïve, unused to thinking that others might mean him harm…his very innocence left him open to her scheming.”

  I thought of my own early blunders as a monarch and how easily they had been turned against me. Then, as now, innocence and lack of knowledge had led me into cunning traps.

  “When did he find out?” I inquired, determined not to be ambushed by ignorance again.

  “At the oath swearing.” Bedivere sighed. “The very day that assured his reign also cast a pall over it. I saw the darkness descend.”

  ***

  Color and pageantry filled the Hall, splendid enough to be sung of by the bards for generations to come. On the dais, Arthur sits in Urien’s chair with the loyal client Kings ranged on the steps below him. Soberly the rebels come forward, kneeling to put their hands between their sovereign’s palms and swear fealty to the Pendragon. Arthur speaks graciously to each, quietly, privately, forging a personal alliance for the future. He is tired and worn with exhaustion but already solidifying his Kingship.

  Only when the royal women approach does he lose his composure. Bedivere hears him catch his breath, sees him go pale as death. Before him stand his sisters: the petite Morgan, dark and feral, and next to her a beautiful woman with a strawberry mark on her cheek. Tawny, smiling Morgause, newly widowed, just bedded.

  Merlin was standing well to the side, lest anyone accuse him of prompting his protégé in what to say or do. Smelling danger, the Mage tenses—probes the air, seeks the source as Morgause carefully makes her face blank.

  “We throw ourselves on your mercy, my children and I,” she murmurs silkily. “And pray you will remember I am your oldest sister, so it is the sons of my loins who stand closest to your throne—until you beget one of your own.”

  The new King’s knuckles whitened as the implication strikes home. The rest of the world would assume she was speaking of Gawain and his brothers, but Arthur and Bedivere both knew the deeper, more terrible implication.

  ***

  “Merlin guessed immediately,” Bedivere concluded. “Before the day was out he’d sent the Queen of Orkney packing back to her islands—but there was no way to erase the small, smug smile she took with her. She guarded the growth of that child with every precaution, even missing Arthur’s King Making at the Black Lake for fear of the travel involved. But she made sure we knew as soon as the infant was delivered alive. Her message was cryptic—promising she would raise the boy to become ‘a sword at his father’s side.’ Exactly what she meant has never been clear.”

  The lieutenant fell into a sad silence while I mulled over the story.

  “Who else knows about Mordred?” I finally asked, bracing myself in case I was the only one ignorant of the truth.

  “Only Arthur and myself, and Merlin, of course…But unless the Magician told Nimue, that is all.” Bedivere smiled bitterly. “In that one night’s work she laid her mark on Arthur for the rest of his days. I think he despaired of ever having a normal life…until he found in you all the openness and honesty his sisters lacked…It was the first thing that attracted him to you.”

  I let the comment pass, remembering instead his reaction to the loss of our child at Stirling. No wonder he didn’t worry about having more, with a son already hidden away up north!

  My shock was turning to anger and I stood up abruptly. “It’s time to go home,” I announced.

  “Yes, I suppose. At least now you understand the shadow that lies over Arthur. It began long before he met you, Gwen.” Bedivere got slowly to his feet. “He has regretted it from the moment he learned of its nature, and rued the existence of the boy since Morgause first gloated over the possibility. Try to remember that, and not be too severe in your judgment.”

  I heard the words but found no solace in them, and we continued on our way in silence.

  We were so absorbed in our own thoughts, a trio of horsemen almost ran us down before we were aware of their approach.

  They loomed out of the shadow of oncoming night on great galloping warhorses and passed too fast for me to note their badges. Perhaps they were the spirits of the Wild Hunt, doomed to ride their nightmarish nags across the dark heavens in search of unprotected souls. The notion sent a chill down my spine, and I made the sign against evil just in case.

  ***

  But the Gods paid no heed, for more devastation lay ahead.

  Chapter XXXVI

  Mordred

  Too shaken to make an appearance at the Hall that evening, I went to my chamber and sent Lynette to find Nimue. The doire entered silently and came to sit down next to me.

  “Did Merlin ever warn you about Mordred?” I asked.

  “Not specifically…only that there was treachery in Morgause, and it could extend to her youngest son. It must be something pretty grim to make you look like this,” she added, sliding her arm around my shoulder.

  Sitting quite still, dry-eyed and empty, I told her the entire tale from Arthur’s victorious entry into York through my discovery of Mordred’s parentage.

  “It is as grotesque as any of those stories about the old Greeks,” she whispered.

  “And ironic beyond belief,” I noted savagely. “To have spent all those years desperately trying to give Arthur a child when in fact he already had one by her…”

  My own bitterness threatened to choke me and I leapt to my feet, beginning to pace around the room like an animal in a trap, fuming helplessly. Nimue sat silent, letting me spew forth the hurt and anger.

  “At least it clears away any doubts I had about leaving,” I concluded. “I’ll go back to Rheged, and decide about the future with Lance from there.”

  “And Arthur?” she asked softly.

  “Arthur can stay inside his nice safe shell of silence. He had no thought about what sort of wretchedness I’ve gone through—why should I care about his feelings now? Let him go talk to his precious dogs if he doesn’t like it.”

  “So you haven’t spoken with him yet—about Mordred or Lance?”

  I shook my head vehemently. “What is there to say? He chose to leave me naked, to let me blunder into that awful truth without any warning…the least he could have done was tell me, Nimue. Surely you can see that, instead of a wife confided in and trusted, I was a wife betrayed right from the start!”

  “Good heavens, Gwen,” the doire exclaimed, “
you’re not going to call something that took place years before you married adulterous, are you?”

  “Of course not,” I snapped. “It isn’t that he slept with Morgause, or even that she is his sister, dreadful as that is. What he did before we met is between him and his Gods—and the other people involved. But he didn’t tell me! I can handle anything, as long as I know what it is…but not to be told, not to be trusted in something as major as this…Nimue, if only I had known, I’d never have been at the mercy of that woman today. I was undermined by my own partner’s silence, and that I can’t forgive.”

  “Of course you can.”

  The doire’s words stopped me in my tracks.

  “It’s your pride that’s hurt, Gwen…your pride.”

  “When pride is the only thing you can count on, you guard it jealously,” I shot back, remembering the thousands of times I’d put aside my own needs to stand with dignity before my people. Like Ragnell, pride was the only armor I had.

  “If you wanted to, you’d swallow this hurt and find a way to piece together the future. You just don’t want to, and the least you should do is admit it.”

  I stared at Nimue in silence, suddenly so exhausted it didn’t matter if she was right or not. Unable to put one coherent thought after another, I crawled into bed and pulled the covers up over my head. All I wanted was to go to sleep and wake up far away, preferably in the safety of Lance’s arms.

  But it was Lynette who woke me to a dull gray sunrise and Bedivere’s asking—begging—that I see Arthur.

  I clutched the covers under my chin and stared at the wall while the lieutenant waited for my answer. Finally, with a sigh, I agreed to the meeting. It had to be faced sometime, so I rose and put on my robe, then sat by the window to wait for my husband.

  The man who stood in the doorway had aged a decade in one night’s time. Gray, haggard, eyes bloodshot and cheeks stubbled, Arthur paused on the threshold as if asking permission to come into the room. Without a word I nodded and he closed the door, then leaned back against it.

  “Bedivere told me what happened,” he ventured. “I…I don’t know what to say…”

  “That seems to have been a problem for some time,” I lashed out, waiting for him to advance into the room.

  But he neither moved nor spoke. Instead he stared at me, face impassive, eyes miserable. As the silence lengthened I got to my feet and began to pace, trying to stir up enough energy for both of us. Someone had to break this impasse, and when I did, the words burst forth in a torrent.

  “Why, Arthur? Why by all that’s holy didn’t you tell me?”

  He watched me mutely, head turning as I made my rounds, hands hanging limp at his sides. I wanted him to move, to stomp across the room, to begin pacing—anything to leave behind this sad, empty husk of the man I had loved. Desperate for both of us, I tried to goad him into action with words.

  “Did you think it would stay a secret forever? Did you think that woman would just let time pass and no one would ever find out? Or maybe it didn’t matter to you that one day I would walk into the truth and have no defenses at all against her? Didn’t you think? Didn’t you care?”

  “It was because I cared so much,” he said softly, a spark of life finding voice somewhere deep in the hollow cavity of him. “I’ve dreaded this moment from the first time we spoke of Morgause, back before you became my wife. At first I hoped it would never come, that you’d never hear of it. Then later, when I started to believe you might understand, I cared too much to risk bringing it to light.”

  As though the words gave him a kind of impetus, he began to move. Slowly, woodenly, he advanced across the room toward the window. I sank down on the bed now that he was at least in motion.

  “I came close to telling you several times, but the words always stuck in my throat. It’s a hideous story, and I wouldn’t blame you if you chose to have done with me entirely. But the very thought of your leaving…Oh, Gwen, I couldn’t face losing you. It is the most terrifying thing in the world, the idea that you might go away, forever.”

  His voice had gotten very quiet, and he stared out across the roofs of Camelot, a vast gulf of misery opening around him. Finally he turned and looked at me.

  “You have both the right and reason to leave, but I love you, and need you…and beg you not to go.”

  They were words that I had ached to hear for years, words I had despaired he would ever apply to me. Yet instead of delight, of hope and fulfillment and all the joy they might have brought, I felt only pain and sorrow. And an overwhelming sadness.

  Without willing it I was on my feet, coming to stand before him, reaching up to take his face in my hands. I tried to smooth away the aching lines that furrowed his forehead while tears coursed down his cheeks and fell on my own. Wrapping my arms around him, I held him close as he bent his head and sobbed.

  I too began to weep, silently, mournfully. I could not promise Arthur that I would stay, but neither could I tell him I was leaving. All my resolve to go to Lancelot was melting away in the presence of my husband’s anguish, and I was back once more in the limbo of heartbreak, despairing at the loss that either choice would mean. So we stood there entwined, sharing separate pains that neither one of us knew what to do about.

  There are times when tears are more healing than either words or actions, and this was one of them. When the first flood had passed, I settled on the window seat and Arthur sat on the floor, his head against my knee as he told me about Mordred. It was the same tale Bedivere had told, and as long as he felt the need to put it into words, I hoped they would help dispel some of the horror of it.

  I ran my hands through his hair, brushing it back from his forehead as he talked, noting it was not as thick as it used to be. Age was taking its toll on all of us.

  By the time Arthur finished, the day had begun to blossom. Down in the village the dairyman whistled as he went out to milk his cows in the pasture, while out by the barn a rooster crowed raucously. My flock of pigeons rose fluttering from their cote, disturbed by a commotion in the stable, and a cluster of exclamations drifted up to us. When Bedivere banged urgently on the door, I had a chilling premonition that something else had happened.

  “It’s Gawain,” the lieutenant blurted out the moment Arthur let him in. “He’s downstairs with Morgause’s head in a satchel.”

  “What?” we chorused, as alike in our response as a pair of twins.

  Bedivere glanced at me. “The riders we passed on the Road yesterday were the Orkney brothers, all in a race to go visit their mother. But it seems she wasn’t expecting them, and they arrived to find her in bed with Lamorak. Rutting bitch had to pick the very warrior whose father had killed her husband,” Bedivere muttered, sinking down on the chair. “Gawain let out a scream of recognition while Agravain drew his sword and, either by accident or design, cut off his mother’s head.”

  Arthur groaned aloud, and I turned to stare unflinchingly out the window. It was a gruesome but fitting end for a woman who so often used others’ passions against themselves.

  “In the pandemonium that followed, Lamorak got clean away, scrambling out of the tent without even stopping for his breeches. When Agravain realized what he had done, his mind snapped. Sitting on the floor, he cradled the head in his arms, crooning and talking and singing to it as if to a baby. I gather Gaheris is now taking him north, hoping that his sanity will return once he’s back in the Orkneys. Gawain spent the night digging a grave and burying his mother’s body, and now asks leave to take her head back to the one place where she was happy—to Edinburgh where she and Lot spent the early days of their marriage. You have no objection, do you?”

  “No, I suppose not,” Arthur said wearily, regret and relief mingled in his voice.

  A pall was spreading over us, filling the room with a thick, gray silence. Agravain would bear the mark of matricide for the rest of his life—cruel, vicious Agravain, whose frustrations had no doubt been honed on the stone of Morgause’s own bitterness. Now even in
death the woman would dominate her son’s life.

  I gasped suddenly. “Mordred! What’s happened to him? Is he all right?”

  The two men looked at me blankly, as though the name had no meaning.

  “I think he’s with Gawain,” Bedivere replied slowly. “I suppose he’ll go back to the Orkneys. Unless”—the lieutenant turned to Arthur—“he stays at Court with you.”

  “Ye Gods, what would I do with him?” the Pendragon cried.

  The question balanced on the air for a long minute. Glimpses of the future floated before me with Arthur and Queenhood on one side, Lance and love on the other. And in the center, Mordred became the fulcrum.

  The price, Igraine had said: the price of a love that left the children motherless…Was it not that which started Gorlois’s daughters’ vendetta against us? Now it threatened to be repeated again, in the next generation.

  Not this time, I vowed silently. Not this time.

  “We’ll take him in.”

  My words were simple and firm, but the two men stared at me as though I had just uttered some dire prediction of doom instead of the world’s most basic law—first you take care of the children.

  “He’s old enough to become a page—that’s why she brought him here. So we’ll take him in, and give him the kind of family he never had in the Orkneys. I’d rather his background not be known to begin with—you can decide later whether to recognize him as your son or not.”

  Arthur shook his head slowly. “Are you sure you’re willing to do this?” he asked.

  The dreams of life with Lance glimmered before me, poignant as the reflection of the new moon on a lake, then dispersed when the ripple of my voice broke the silence.

  “Of course I am. You know I’ve always wanted a son.” My words were light and cheerful, skittering across the aching void of my own pain like a water beetle running over a pond. “And now we have one. I may not have raised him from birth, but a child is a child no matter who its parents are. And the boy is in need of reassurance and acceptance, particularly after what’s happened to his mother.”