THE GHOST SHIP

by Gerrie Ferris Finger

  “Everyone knew but me.”

  “I …” Spence recalled Ann's harsh accusation. “It was my ego that made me believe that nobody figured it out.”

  “What happened to her?”

  “It's hard …” His voice had sounded like a nut cracking. He rubbed his forehead. “It's hard, Roddy What happened.”

  “You killed her.”

  “It was an accident.” He felt like crying. “I swear on all that's holy. I'd never kill her. I was angry. She got afraid. I've got a temper, yes, but I can keep my fists to myself, you know that. 'Member that time in Nags Head, that jackass came at me just because the Park Service ran him and his OTV off the beach. I didn't punch him out, I could have. I wanted to.”

  “What happened after she became afraid?”

  “She backed up and slipped and – she hit her head on the edge of the boathouse. The blood gushed. She bounced and went off the dock.” His eyes filled with tears. “I didn't find her right away.”

  “Why not? It's only four feet of water there?”

  “It was murky. I don't know. When I found her…” He wept. “She was six feet away and – gone.” He saw the Rod was no longer looking at him.

  “How do you know she was dead?”

  “I know dead people.” He wiped his eyes with an index finger. “She was too long in the water. You saw the gash on her head at the morgue.”

  “Then what?”

  “I had a choice.” He wanted Rod to look at him but probably he never would again. “She was dead. I couldn't bring her back. There was you to consider, and I – I'm fifteen years in the Service. We've got our lives ahead of us.”

  Rod continued to look over the boats at dock. “Promotions for Spence, huh?”

  “At the time I didn't think it was fair that I should mar my record for something I couldn't help. It was an accident. If I could have taken it back, I would have.”

  “Would you?” Rod aimed those hard eyes at him. “Wasn't she going to tell me about your affair? Wasn't she going to leave me for you?”

  “How do you know that?”

  “It's obvious.”

  “You never let on that you knew.”

  “Suspicion wears many faces.”

  “I betrayed you, that's what I'm sorriest for.”

  Rod's attention was back at the dock, looking over the boats. “What did you do after you found her in the water?”

  “I put her in the boat, went a little ways out, locked the throttled on high, and jumped overboard.”

  Rod said, “Then cleaned up the blood.” Spence nodded but Rod wasn't looking at him. “What were your parting words to Carmen?”

  “Parting words?” Spence asked.

  “Didn't you bid her farewell?”

  How does he know this? “I don't remember what I said. Like at a grave, I guess. I thought about you, Roddy, I know you'll never forgive me for what I've done, but I thought about you and I thought that you deserved better than Carmen. You deserve better than me.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I love you like a brother, Rod.”

  “Brothers go their separate ways.”

  “Yeah, they do.” He sucked in the knowledge that he'd lost the most important person and things in his life. “I love this place. It's my home, my life, the only thing I know. It's where my dreams were born and where they would have come true …” He stopped when Rod walked away from him, toward the building. He called out, “Can you ever forgive me?”

  Rod stopped walking. “No.”

  Spence caught up to him. “I don't blame you and it must be me that goes. I talked to Missi…”

  “I don't give a shit about Missi.”

  “Listen to me. I'll put in for a change of duty, if I can even stay in the Service.”

  “It's the government,” Rod said, looking over the inlet. “Unless they convict you of murder, you'll stay in.”

  “They can't convict me for something I didn't do.”

  “I hope you get what's coming to you.”

  His shoulders bunched from the pain in his chest. “Missi's from Atlanta. There's some opportunities there.”

  Rod started for the little station house. “Get on your way.”

  “I'll be in Manteo tomorrow,” Spence called after him. “There'll be an investigation, I suppose.”

  Rod stopped and looked at the sky. “It's your word. No witnesses. Carmen's not alive to tell her side.”

  “It's the truth. You know it's the truth.” Rod's pace was measured back to the station. “Please, Rod, just say you know it's the truth. It's bad enough. It's rotten, but it's the truth.”

  Rod halted and turned to face Spence. “You son-of-a-bitch.”

  --

  It was the truth.

  To the last detail.

  Not that he didn't believe Ann.

  It had been hard to bear, and he blamed her for that. He was numb with loss. First Carmen, then Spence, now Ann.. What in his universe had he done to justify losing everything he loved? Was someone in the vast multiverse taking inventory, adding up his debits and credits, then finding him wanting on the credit side? His chest bubbled with the blood of his heart, and he wept.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  --

  It was time to say goodbye. Where the Hattaras lighthouse had stood, also had stood the Hatteras Lifesaving Station and the keepers' houses. Their superstructures had been moved, but, though the fog and burgeoning dawn, she detected the foundations of each. Wouldn't be long, the sea would claim their mortared remains. Looking out over their eternal home, she whispered the words of Shakespeare:

  Full fathom five thy father lies;

  Of his bones are coral made; Those are pearls that were his eyes;

  Nothing of him that doth fade, But doth suffer a sea-change

  Into something rich and strange.

  She looked to her left. He was there. Lawrence. Nothing of him doth fade.

  But yet …?

  He came to stand beside her. “I hope I am not that much of a disappointment.”

  “Did it show?” she asked, feeling that her smile was rather smeary.

  “Your face is a mirror to your heart and to your soul, and I saw my great-grandson there.”

  “And you, too. We three formed this bizarre triad. Time means nothing, blood and bone mean nothing.”

  “My bones are coral, my eyes are pearl. You and Rod have yet to undergo your sea change.”

  “That day on the beach, by the shipwreck, I didn't know you'd suffered a sea change.”

  “You did, you did not want to believe.”

  “Everything about that time was unbelievable, but in the end I had to believe. And now I'm strange for it, without even the rich part.”

  Lawrence laughed. “Let me confess why I came to you in the first place.”

  “Not to take me on a voyage and ruin my life?”

  “Not at all. I had given up hope of ever finding the answer to the Carroll A. Deering's grounding on the shoal.”

  “Then why did you – we – embark upon the journey?”

  “I don't have the answer. Perhaps the great Neptune took pity on my coral bones.”

  “Hadn't you been wandering the earth searching for the answer?”

  He grinned, and what she'd once perceived as a sensual blossoming of his mouth was now dark and rather macabre. “I'm not a melodramatic man.”

  “You cast yourself as a romantic man.”

  “That may be, but I am practical. In my eternal dreams, I heard my great-grandson's distress. I came into his time and learned what had happened. His heart was broken, and that broke mine. Living in an endless time, I see through the ether of corresponding worlds, and I can go back and forth like a movie reel that can be rewound and replayed. But I cannot change the history of what has already happened. I can gain knowledge, but I can't change events. I can influence the future, however, and my goal was to find happiness for Rod into his future.”

  “How were you g
oing to do that?”

  “I hadn't the vaguest – perhaps just hang around and try to guide his spirit with my own. Try to infuse some peace in the young man until he could find some on his own. Though our times are thinly divided, it's not easy traversing time. I happened to be in your time the day you drove down the road and stopped to look at the sea. In your beauty, I saw heartbreak. That day, you, also, became my quest. I followed you into the bar that night.”

  “Why were you so cold that night, when you're not a cold spirit?”

  “Indeed I am a cold spirit. In your time, like now, I have no blood in my veins.”

  “You look like an ordinary man right now.”

  “'That is the nature of matter, of solid, liquid, gas and plasma, all interchangeable by way of energy.”

  Not in the mood for a scientific discussion, she asked, “How were you going to unite two unhappy souls?”

  He crossed his arms and put his fist under his chin. “Using remembered mortal instinct. When I showed myself to you on the beach by the shipwreck, it was my plan to suggest that you walk up the beach to where my great-grandson would tend his turtles and plovers. I was, in a phrase, playing Cupid.”

  She looked out to the sea, so quiet it could have been listening closely. “Rod and I had had a misunderstanding the night before, and Rod came down the beach to apologize.”

  “I saw him and tried to leave your time for mine, but strangely I brought you with me.” His eyes held, yes, a faded, ghostly twinkle. “It was a lovely experience and I found that my cosmic gods allowed me to finish my investigation, for which I'll be forever thankful.”

  She kept her gaze steady. “I came with you because I wanted to leave my time.”

  “You wanted death?”

  “Not in my conscious mind. I'd been thinking about The Ghost Ship. I'd seen a photograph of it the night before. Then I met a sea captain, a quixotic man who would take me away from my pain.”

  “In my cupid role, I may have been too forward and given you the wrong idea.”

  She shook her head. “No, Lawrence, I remember that day clearly. You struck a romantic figure to this poor sad soul.”

  “As solid matter, I was still an old man.”

  “Shakespeare can explain it better than me. 'That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man, If with his tongue he cannot win a woman.’”

  “Ah, tis my golden voice …”

  Oddly his melodious voice scratched a nerve, but she didn’t cringe. “I wondered about The Ghost Ship …”

  He interrupted, “Let's put it in a cliché: world's collided by way of the shipwreck and your fascination with The Ghost Ship. The thin veil that separated us aided our return to my world. I, of course, jumped at the chance to relive the moments of the crew. I selfishly couldn't pass up the chance to learn what happened to the Deering.” His dark face gleamed. “And we learned. By God, we solved the mystery.”

  “It was a heavy burden on you to sustain that journey, wasn't it?”

  “Indeed. I almost lost my soul.”

  “I saw. Up in the shrouds when you tried to return and had a hell of a time of it.”

  “I’m sorry I distressed you. What you saw in the shrouds was a spirit not of his mortal time.”

  Forgetting the frustration and fear she'd felt in the journey, she thought only of the euphoria of their adventure. “I didn't question. I didn't dare, because it would all end then.”

  “You suffer still.”

  “Yes, I don't want to be here. I don’t belong here any longer. I want you to take me with you.”

  “Where do you think I am going?”

  “Take me on another journey. We can even go on the same one, do the same things, I can't live here any more.”

  “You must.”

  “I've tried, Lawrence. I'm tired of trying. Why can't I be a part of your eternity?”

  “Why do you think that would make you happy?”

  “Because we had a wonderful voyage. There must be others.”

  “Oh there are many others, some I wouldn't want to relive.”

  “Let's travel back to Blackbeard's time. Experience what really happened to him.”

  His laugh was sinister and a strange smile distorted his lips. “You've developed a blood-thirst. The day Blackbeard died, he was too drunk to defend himself, and was beheaded by the English. His head was hung from the bowsprit of the HMS Pearl.” Lawrence appeared to have lost some of his substance. “There is only one way that you can join me for eternity.”

  “What way is that?”

  “You must relinquish your mortal body, and I don't think you want to do that.”

  “Die?”

  “A simple word for the second most epic event in our lives.”

  His face did not shift as he looked into the distance. He was diminishing before her eyes. “Don’t go. Did you suffer when you died?”

  “Yes, I didn't want to die.” He began to hiss like a deflating balloon.

  “Because of your mission?”

  “I loved my life.”

  “But I don't.”

  “Think carefully. You've had great joys, too, haven't you?”

  “Yes, but …”

  “Dying is a rash thing, not to be taken lightly.” His eyes reminded her of headstones.

  She rushed her speech. “Don’t go. Listen. Rod and I are star-crossed. He loves his dead wife. I can't bear to see him hate me like he does. I can't go back to Atlanta. I don't want my job. My life has become meaningless.”

  He reached out a hand. She took it without feeling the bones there. “We’ll let the sea decide.”

  “Huh?”

  When the swells reached her waist, the sea floor captured her feet and the breakers stilled. Held fast against heavy water, she looked at Lawrence. He dropped her hand and rushed ahead, skimming a sea as glassy and unruffled as bathwater. Like the waters, time and wind also settled into silence.

  “Lawrence,” she called. “Don't leave me.”

  A voice – unlike Lawrence’s mournful tones – reached her ears. “Ann!”

  She couldn't see Lawrence. She tried to whirl to the manic voice, but sudden coils of air and current pushed, then pulled, at her body. The natural elements had regained themselves. She called out. “I’m here.”

  “Ann!” Stronger and louder, her name sounded from behind. She struggled, working her hands and arms to face the shore. Above it, the sun suddenly broke through the trembling gray clouds drenching the sky with shards of pink and gold. She saw him, his hair blowing like a horse’s mane, his arms flashing a riotous semaphore.

  Rod.

  “Ann, come back.”

  The rant of wind and sea died suddenly. A sepulchral voice came from the waves. “Your world awaits, Ann.” She looked around to see Lawrence watching her – his soulless face plasmic.

  From the shore Rod called, “Ann. Come back. Don’t go in farther. Ann, please.” He ran into the tide – running headlong toward her – his face filled with fear and passion, his legs wheeling for all they were worth. “I love you, Ann.”

  She looked from Lawrence to Rod. Lawrence's voice sounded from the depths of his coral soul. “Goodbye.”

  Rod halted and glared at the fading ghost of his ancestor. “I see him! Lawrence. Oh my God, Ann.” He reached out for her.

  She took his outreached hand, and he pulled hard. Her legs floated on the chilly Atlantic undulations as he drew her to him. “I saw him, Ann. I saw.” She planted her hands on his chest and her feet on the ocean floor. She looked back but Lawrence had completely vanished. She looked into Rod's wet face. His hands cupped her chin, his thumbs caressing her cheeks. “I – saw – him.” They held each other as the sea swelled in a rhythm as ancient as itself. Finally, he said, “Can you ever forgive me?”

  “I – I …”

  “When I think – why couldn't I believe – why couldn't I trust ... Please, Ann, say you'll forgive me.” Between words he'd kissed her face, her lips, her eyelids.

  A
bubbly giggle sprung from her like sea foam. “After some penance, maybe.”

  Hand-in-hand they made for the shore. “Penance,” he said. “Gladly.”

  They’d reached dry sand. “It'll be harsh,” she said. He squeezed her hands and she put her head on his chest to savor the aroma of him, one of sunlight and salt, of man and sea. She pulled away from him and looked back. Her voice frayed and quivered. “Lawrence knew you were coming.”

  He hugged her, turning her to face him. She clasped her arms around him and closed her eyes. Her world had just righted itself. Lawrence had taken all her agonies away with him. When she opened her eyes, Rod’s were only inches away, wide and full of wonder. She said, “He knew you were coming for me.”

  “He didn't need to get you out into the ocean. It's damned cold. What was he thinking?”

  “He was thinking that I had lost my mind. And I had. With losing you … there was nothing for me. Not even the sea.”

  “Right here, right now, we’re a new beginning, you and me.”

  “What changed your mind?” she asked.

  “Spence came over to Ocracoke last night. We talked. You were right.”

  “I hate what happened.”

  “I've been a horse's ass – about everything.”

  “Just Spence.”

  “Spence is leaving here.”

  “Then I'm staying.”

  He held her like someone was going to try and pry her away. “Those are the happiest words I've heard in a very long time.”

  Their arms wound around each other, and they staggered up the beach, heading into a different time – a rich and wonderful time, into a real sea of change.

  # # #

  --

  Author’s Note

  --

  Thank you for reading The Ghost Ship. I hope you got as much pleasure reading the novel as I did writing it. I live near the sea in the state of Georgia with my husband, Alan, and our standard poodle, Bogey. For those who know golf, he’s named after my game.