Make You Mine (Nixon Brooks Book 1)

by Tess Keeler

  Hearing validation about how badly Nixon was handling our separation gave me confidence; I had made the right decision. “I want to apologize.” I shook my hands out in front of me. “No, I want to win him back.”

  “Win him back, eh?” I saw a twitch in his lips, like he was fighting off a smile. “What about Blake?”

  “Only Nixon can decide what’s good for him. I should have never let Blake convince me otherwise.”

  “Alright,” he caved as he stepped aside and opened the door for me. “He’s a great guy, but this has taken a toll on him.”

  “Are you warning me that this may not go in my favor?” I asked, trying to swallow down the acid coming up in my throat.

  “I’m saying that this is the roughest I’ve ever seen him. Just wanted to prepare you.”

  I didn’t know what he meant, not until I entered the house and found him with a group of guys I didn’t recognize. Well, I did recognize Asher, who was right next to him. I passed a few of his bandmates, but my attention didn’t stray from my ex-boyfriend. His hair had never looked so unruly, all of it going in different directions on top of his head. It looked like it had grown even longer in our time apart. As I closed in on the boys, all a little rowdy, I noticed stubble on his chin, below his bottom lip, and all the way across his upper lip. Facial hair looked good on him, but Mason was right. This Nixon was not the well kept Nixon we all knew. He looked like a normal twenty-year-old.

  “Nixon,” someone said in his direction from behind me. It was pertaining to me, hushed and a little sharp.

  I tried to keep the broken pieces together long enough to approach him. I couldn’t get my hopes up. Nixon hadn’t heard them, and I was glad. I had a little more time to study his face and the dark circles underneath his eyes. I pursed my lips as I reminded myself that it wasn’t just me that did this. It was Blake’s fault, too.

  “Excuse me,” I said as I pushed through the two tall men preventing me from being in front of him. “Sorry about that,” I added.

  I overestimated the distance and ran into Nixon’s cup, spilling a strong scented beer all over my outfit. I reached out and steadied his wrist before meeting his gaze. The electricity between us zapped my fingertips, causing me to yank my hands back. Was it still as strong for him?

  He stared at me like I wasn’t really there, like he was confused or I was lost. “Hey, Nix.”

  His eyes moved down to the stain on my shirt. He was moving slowly, but I couldn’t tell if it was intoxication. “Harper?”

  “Can we talk?” I asked. “Privately.”

  I followed his gaze when he looked behind me, seeing Mason walk up behind everyone. They shared some form of non-verbal communication before he looked back to me, mumbling, “You’re here.” I nodded and he shook something out of his head. “Sure, yeah,” he finally agreed.

  “Your room?” I asked.

  He nodded and answered more quickly, “Yeah.” I started to step off in the direction of the stairs, completely taken off guard by the sudden chug of his drink. He sat it down, and I knew my eyes were wide as I stared at it. Drinking had never been his thing.

  “Are you sure about this?” I heard Asher ask. I flinched but kept walking. I didn’t need to look worse than I already did in front of all of his friends.

  “Yeah, man. I have to know why she’s here.” I respected how quiet he was, like he hadn’t intended all of us to hear.

  I was almost completely up the stairs when I heard him step up on them, keeping a decent distance between us. I waited for him by his door, letting him do the honors of opening it. His room was the worst place to have our conversation—it was laced with beautiful memories of our bodies intertwined sexually and intimately. I audibly swallowed as I followed him inside, closing the door behind us.

  Instead of going to the bed, he went into his closet. I took a seat on his mattress, trying not to think about how hard the last four weeks had been, on both of us. When he returned, he had a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt in his hand. “In case you want to change,” he said, handing it off.

  Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he began to pace in front of me. The more steps he took the more nauseous I felt. My mouth was dry. What had I wanted to say? “I’m sorry for what I did,” I blurted, holding his clothes close to my hip.

  His feet stopped moving, his gaze penetrating, “I can’t really say it’s okay, because it sucked.” He looked sad as he took in a deep breath, releasing it slowly. “You did what you had to do, I guess. I don’t really blame you.”

  “I made the wrong decision, Nixon. I let Blake convince me it was best, but do you think it was?” I asked him, my eyes glued to him.

  “If you aren’t sure, then maybe it was,” he said, still defeated.

  “Only you know if I was bad for your career. Blake and I have no opinion in the matter.” My fingers pulled on my skirt as I tried to deal with the tension in my body. The stress of it all.

  “Do you remember what I said to you while you were in that elevator, Harper?”

  “That you love me,” I said quietly.

  “Were there any conditions on that?” he asked, his voice a little harsh. “Did I say anything about only loving you through the good moments, but not the tough ones?”

  “No,” I breathed, my heart trying to come out of my chest. “I understand if you’re mad.”

  “I’m not mad. I’m hurt.” A heavy exhale escaped him. “I thought about firing Blake,” he said suddenly.

  “He deserves it,” I responded, trying to stay as calm as possible. For him.

  “But the reality is, he’s a great tour manager. He’s been with me from the start, and yes, he messed up. He was completely out of line with whatever it was he said to help you decide to break things off.”

  I remembered that conversation like it was a milestone in my life. I recalled the mean things he said, how he tore me apart. My lip quivered some at the memory of the entire day—the worst day of my life. “He told me I was going to ruin you.”

  “He never knew what was between us. You did. And you let him convince you to walk away even though you know how I feel about you.”

  “Nixon,” I started, feeling the creation of adrenaline push through every vein. I stood up, his anger tugging mine along with his. “I had an image of you on the ground as Blake spat on me. He made me feel like a shit girlfriend for ever letting you compromise your dreams. For just being in your life.”

  “Again, there’s going to be people with opinions and hate coming at us from every direction.” He ran his fingers through his already messy hair, leaving it worse off as his hand fell to his side. “I need to know you’re willing to fight for us, because I can’t go through this again, Harps. I won’t.”

  “I don’t want to live a life without you,” I confessed, trying to prove my point with my volume.

  He was expressionless for a moment, just blinking at me. “This has been the worst month of my life.”

  “Same.” I cradled the silver reminder of him in my hand and cleared my throat. “I never stopped thinking about you or wishing I could reach out to you. It has felt like a lifetime.”

  “You could’ve,” he said softly. “I can’t tell you how many times I almost texted you, but I didn’t want to make it harder.” Tears formed on his waterline, and I clenched my fists to stop myself from hugging him. Could I? “I missed you so much.”

  “I missed you, too,” I admitted. Weight slowly lifted off of my shoulders and chest as the tension eased. “Grace took my phone away from me when I tried to FaceTime you after your Grammy noms. I was so proud of you. I still am.”

  Silence encased us as we shared a moment, just our eyes and hearts talking. Tears rolled down his cheeks as I fought my own. Suddenly, his hands were on my face, and I gasped as he pulled me into him, his lips pressing to my mine. Hard. We shared a kiss so familiar and needed. I tried not to focus on the scratchiness of his face, much different from his normally smooth, soft skin. Not a bad different.
<
br />   I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him like it was my last breath. Without him, it would’ve been.

  1

  Make You Mine

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Nixon

  I had to kiss her. Every cell in my body was screaming at me to. I should’ve kissed her when I saw her downstairs, but I didn’t know if I should. Doubt was a silent killer.

  Her arms were around me, my hands moving over her body to make up for nearly three months of being away from her. As her lips parted, I groaned at her taste. My heart was swelling to double its size as the desire erupted inside both of us.

  Harper’s hands pushed my black sweater from my shoulders, discarding it somewhere on my floor. We were gasping between kisses, my hands pushing the crop top off of her torso as I breathed, “I love you, Harper.” My body felt alive for the first time in so long as my white shirt was pulled from me. I didn’t think I’d ever have the chance to have her in my arms again, and this time, I wasn’t going to let her go.

  My long fingers fumbled at the clasp of her bra, growling until it sprung open. The straps loosened and the material fell enough to expose most of her beautiful skin and my breath staggered. My greedy hands pulled the strap down off of one shoulder, my lips moving to paint the warm, soft surface for a few lingering moments as I slipped it off of her. Her arms were squeezing her breasts together in pleasure until I discarded her bra. I felt her hands release their grip on my back to move between us and tear open my skinny jeans, pushing and tugging to get the tight material off of me. They fell to my feet and I kicked the denim off along with my socks, taking the momentary break in our bodies being pressed together to pull her long skirt from her and help her out of it. Without missing a beat, I picked her up by her thighs and turned her into the nearest wall. My body pushed against hers to keep her held up, my hips curling against the thin lace of her panties. I moaned against her lips, trying to not get distracted by how good it felt to have so little between us.

  I lifted off of her, carrying her with me but losing my footing enough for us to knock off most everything on my dresser. Worth it.

  Another wall caught us, a groan tumbling carelessly from her lips as the desperation in us nearly tripled. Her leg hooked around my waist, her foot smoothing over my calf drove me wild. I moved my hand as far over her leg as I could reach only to smooth back up and rest on her thigh to help her hold it there. Her head tilted back, exposing her neck to me. I took the opportunity to drag my lips over the length, nipping and sucking in specific spots I knew would amplify her arousal.

  I could hear the scratchiness of my stubble brushing against her oh so soft skin. I sighed as I inhaled the light vanilla hanging on, my free hand moving to massage her breast in my palm. The noises I was pulling from her was melodic, and I couldn’t even put into words how she made me feel to do it justice.

  With a swift movement, I lifted her again and turned her so we walked the small amount of distance to the bed. I laid her down with a soft bounce, enjoying the way her body unfolded in front of me. My lips connected with her collarbone, over her sternum and breasts, down her stomach until I was able to pull the last piece of clothing from her beautiful form. Bare and vulnerable— I would never take it for granted. Smoothing my hands over the trail I just made with my lips, I smiled down at her as she gave me the most beautiful, happy smile.

  Pushing my boxers off of me, I laid between her bent legs and enjoyed how it felt to be so intimate with her. Then I kissed her, with everything I had, like I wouldn’t survive without her— I could, but I never wanted to.

  Her hips were lifting off the bed, rolling against me. She was so ready, and I clenched my teeth as my kiss got distracted by how good it felt to be against her.

  Reaching between our bodies, I nuzzled her nose with mine as I prepared myself to complete us.

  “I love you, Nix.” The breathlessness of her voice was so fucking sexy, but the words were the best part. I brought my hand to rest against her face, kissing her again as I eased myself inside of her.

  She gasped against my lips, her lips staying parted as I slowly filled her. The squeezing against me caused a strangled breath to escape as my hips rested against her thighs. Instincts kicked in, and I moved against her, my stomach muscles tightening with each thrust of my hips.

  Her hands were all over me, gripping and smoothing as we made love. I couldn’t get enough of her; it was clear in how lost I was in us.

  With a slight shift, I moved my hands underneath her to pull her up into a sitting position. Her legs were over mine, our bodies not missing a beat. She towered me, our lips brushing as her hips lifted over and over. Tilting forward, I kissed the curves of her breasts as my hands rested against the small of her back to help her movements. Our breathing was short, choppy, and our lovemaking desperate.

  Her hands tangled in my hair, holding onto me as I kissed any place of her gorgeous skin I could reach as she rocked against me.

  I could feel myself getting so close, each wave bigger and more intense. She whimpered against me as I lifted my hips, pushing deeper into her with the angle I had.

  As her breathing quickened, I knew she was almost there and I was determined to see that beauty unfold in front of me. Bringing my lips back to hers, I kissed her until she came, her mouth falling from mine in a perpetual part.

  The release gave me permission for my own, so I let go. Pressure and bliss swept over me, and I buried my face in her neck to smother the volume of the moan that was playing at my lips.

  Our heavy breathing blended together, warming both of our lips equally as her hooded blue eyes stared down at me. My nose was resting against her cheek, my hands securing her with one high on her back and one low.

  There was a small accumulation of perspiration that had built at her hairline, and the tenderness in the way she played with my hair made me sigh against her chin.

  After we had regained enough composure, we readjusted and laid on our sides facing each other. I knew we would have to rejoin the party eventually; I was surprised that we hadn’t had someone check on us yet. But there was pizza and booze down there; they didn’t need me.

  I enjoyed the silence, smiling as I stared into her eyes. The pain from the past few months was being replaced with so much love.

  “I never thought I’d get to be close to you again,” I admitted, my arm draped over her bare hip. My fingers drew patterns over her lower back as we relished all of the emotions from our lovemaking.

  The smile that pulled at her lips was playful, and she chewed her bottom lip after she teased me. “Does this mean you forgive me?”

  I leaned in and kissed her, sighing as I backed up just enough to answer her. “Of course. I am so in love with you, Harper. I never stopped.”

  “I’m crazy about you, too. I was a mess without you.” Her eyelashes fluttered at the emotional overload, and I nodded.

  “I was a mess without you, too. I’m glad you came back to me.” I admitted, moving my right hand to caress her cheek with my fingertips.

  “Me too. I’ll always be yours,” she whispered, moving to place a gentle kiss on my wrist. Her eyes noticed the newest addition of ink— the yellow rose. “When...what is this?”

  “I got it a few days ago. I had a difficult time letting you go, but the truth is, I didn’t want to. I wanted you to be a part of me for the rest of my life.” I returned the soft kiss against her palm now. “I wanted it to be something I looked at and remembered all the beauty we had between us, because you will always be the best decision I ever made, Harper.”

  “Nixon... god, that’s beautiful.” She took a slow, deep breath. “How could you not hate me?”

  “I could never hate you, baby.” I tucked hair behind her ear, smoothing my hand over her shoulder. “You’re my forever.”

  She smiled at me, looking like an angel as she responded, “And you’re mine.”

  I scooted closer to her, my eyes dancing over her features. “Have you ever thoug
ht of the future? Like, living together? And kids?”

  “I don’t do a lot of future thinking, Nix... And yet, I couldn’t stop thinking about settling down in a place with you.” Her voice was soft, vulnerable. “Do you think about it?”

  “I do.” I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the question playing on the tip of my tongue. “Before everything happened, I wanted to talk to you about possibly living with me in Nashville while I record.” I paused, releasing the breath as I got it out. “How would you feel about that?”

  Shock washed over her features, her eyebrows going up as she spoke, “You want me to live with you?”

  “If you think it’s too soon, I get it. I know we just rekindled, but I can’t imagine you not being there with me.”

  “No, I didn’t say that.” She leaned forward, kissing my chin. “If you want me there, I’ll be there.”

  The smile that pulled at my lips was big and happy. I tilted her chin up with my pointer finger and thumb, kissing her until we couldn’t breathe.

  A small knock rattled my door, and I laughed quietly as we broke the kiss. “I’m surprised we got this much alone time.”

  “Just checking on you two.” Mason’s voice came from the other side of the door. “Everything alright?”

  I lifted up just enough to project my voice without volume. “Hey, Mace, we’re good. We’ll be out in a second.”

  A laugh came from our friend. “Your presence is being requested downstairs, and there’s only a little over an hour left before the new year. I’ll be waiting for you two.” A short pause caused me to part my lips to talk, but Mason’s voice interrupted my thought. “Please, make yourselves decent first.”

  I tilted my head, resting my forehead against hers as I laughed at the ridiculousness of our mutual friend.

  Her hand rested in my hair, holding me close as her laugh mirrored mine. “We better get down there before they send a search party.”