Forbidden Lyrics

by Jodie Larson

  “That’s so gross and way too much information,” I say through my laugh.

  Myles raises his hand. “Unless someone can beat twenty minutes ago, I get to start.”

  “Ew,” Quinn says, scrunching up her nose. “Does that mean the bathroom will be safe while we’re here?”

  He only gives her a wicked gleam. I wish this house had more than one bathroom.

  Tatum spreads the cards into the middle of the table and we all take our allotted amount. It’s hard not to giggle as I look at my potential answers, ranking them from most likely to be used and those I’ll use as burner cards.

  After an hour, I’ve amassed quite the black card collection, but not as much as Kade. I always knew he had a sick mind, but damn.

  “You’re rigging this somehow,” I say, slurring slightly as I take a drink from my third cocktail. Beer is not one of those things I can drink all night and not get sick from. Too much yeast or something and it’ll send my stomach into all sorts of cramps and then I’ll be burping up a storm. No thanks. I’ll stick to Captain.

  He raises a brow. “How am I rigging it? I’m drawing from the same pile as you.”

  “You are.” I point a shaky finger in his direction. “And so are you.” I swing my hand toward Myles, who only laughs.

  “Says the girl with the second most black cards at the table.”

  “I always knew you were a closet perv,” Quinn says, nudging my side.

  I smile and rearrange my cards. “It’s all about timing and Daniel Radcliff’s luscious asshole.”

  Everyone erupts with laughter as we continue on. I don’t remember a time when I’ve laughed this hard before. Or needed to pee so bad in my life.

  “I gotta hit the bathroom. Be right back.” I take my glass with me because once I’m done emptying my bladder, I’ll need to fill it right back up.

  Feeling much better, I bounce into the kitchen and make a new cocktail for myself. I’m a little wrist heavy as I pour but decide it doesn’t matter. Adding a splash of Diet Coke for color, I secure the lid to my Yeti and turn to find Brecken walking into the kitchen.

  “All better?” he asks, caging me in.

  I snake my arms around his waist and pull him closer. “Much, now that you’re here. I hate sitting so far away from you.”

  Leaning down, he hides into the crook of my neck, pressing his lips to the delicate skin behind my ear. “Me too.”

  I close my eyes for only a second. And when I open them, I wish I hadn’t.

  Cold air greets me as Brecken is pulled away by the collar of his shirt. Myles seethes as he slams him into the wall, getting in one good hit to Brecken’s face.

  “You son of a bitch! I told you to stay away from her.” Myles rears back and swings again, but Brecken blocks it, sending his fist to crash into the wall instead.

  “Myles! Let him go.” I spring into action, grabbing at his arm and tugging him away, but it’s no use. It’s like pushing against a brick wall and expecting it to move.

  “Get the fuck off me,” Brecken grunts. He pushes himself off the wall, sending him and Myles backward into the counter by the sink. I move just in time, otherwise, I’d be on the floor getting trampled by them.

  Another sickening punch lands, but I don’t know who was on the receiving end of it. They’re both swinging furiously at each other, shoving off the counters and walls before falling to the floor.

  “Asshole!”

  “Cocksucker!”

  By this time, everyone has rushed inside to see what’s going on. Kade and Pax grab the two of them by the arms, pulling them apart.

  “You were my friend!” Myles screams while Kade holds him back.

  “You’re a goddamn idiot and a controlling asshole,” Breck screams back while Pax has a hand on his chest.

  “Stop it, both of you.” Tears stream down my face as I look at the destruction I’ve caused.

  Gabe stands in front of the others, keeping them back in case things get started up again. “Someone want to tell me what the fuck is going on here?”

  “This cocksucker,” Myles spews toward Brecken, “promised me he’d never go after my sister. And yet, I found him breaking his promise right here in the goddamn kitchen.”

  “Oh, blow it out your ass, you pretentious prick. She’s an adult and can do whatever the fuck she wants, including dating me.” Brecken lunges forward again, but Pax keeps him in check.

  Quinn walks over to where I’m huddled in the corner, pulling me into her side. “Can’t you see what you’re doing to her?”

  Myles swings his gaze our direction. “Shut the fuck up, Quinn. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Don’t tell me to shut up, dick face. And it’s you who obviously doesn’t know what he’s talking about. They’ve been seeing each other for weeks now.”

  I let out a strangled groan, turning Quinn in my direction. Her face pales as realization hits her.

  I never told Myles like I said I would.

  “You…what?” Myles shakes free from Kade’s grip. “Everyone knew about this besides me?”

  Tatum takes a tentative step forward. “Myles, honey, listen for a second.”

  He points his finger in her face. “Don’t fucking start with me. No one felt the need to talk to me about this?”

  “How could we when we knew you’d blow up and act like an ass?” Brecken wipes away a drop of blood trickling down his lip. “You’ve been doing this her whole life, dictating who she should see, which was nobody because no one was ever good enough.”

  “And I was right. Case in point.”

  Brecken lunges again, but Kade and Pax hold them back. “Knock it off,” Kade says, pushing against Myles’ chest. “I’m sick and tired of constantly pulling you two off each other. Control your shit or you’ll be finding a new job.”

  Myles scoffs. “I’m not the lying sack of shit taking advantage of girls.”

  “She’s not a girl, you ignorant fuck. She’s a woman. An adult capable of making her own decisions.”

  “She’s a kid who doesn’t know what she wants.” I wish he’d stop talking about me as if I wasn’t standing right here.

  “I’m not a kid anymore,” I say, finding my voice.

  He swings his eyes my way. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Yes, I do.” Tears continue streaming down my cheeks.

  I caused this pain once again, putting Brecken into a situation he never asked for. Why didn’t I just tell Myles to avoid this whole situation? Why couldn’t I act like the twenty-six-year-old I am, rather than the scared seventeen-year-old Myles still sees me as?

  “Just listen to me for once and stay away from him.”

  “No.” Brecken’s voice booms through the room, visibly shaking everyone from its force. “You don’t get to tell her what to do.”

  Myles tries to close the distance but doesn’t get far. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t pummel your face into the back of your skull? Come on! Give it to me!”

  “Because I love her!”

  Everyone is stunned silent, including myself.

  He said it. Brecken actually said it.

  This isn’t what I had in mind when I imagined how he’d confess his love to me. We’d be alone, probably naked, not piled into a room with our friends while he and my brother try to kill each other.

  Nothing about this situation is right. And once again, it’s all my fault.

  So, I make the decision for everyone in order to set everything straight.

  With a final look at Brecken through tear-stained eyes, I calmly walk out the door and leave.

  She left. She just fucking left.

  I proclaim my love in front of every single person in the room and she just walks out the door like nothing happened.

  It’s safe to say this party is officially over.

  Kade lets go of Myles, who’s finally stopped spouting fire from his nose. “I can’t believe this. You guys are supposed to be my f
amily and yet you’re keeping secrets from me.”

  I’m glad Kade and Adrienne don’t say anything since they were also kept in the dark. At this point, it’ll be better for Myles to think what he wants. The truth doesn’t matter because he’s already made up his mind.

  “We were trying to avoid this but looks like it backfired.” Tatum tries to soothe her husband, who yanks his arm from her grip.

  “So you all banded together and made the decision for me? That’s great. Just great.” He runs a hand through his hair before dragging it down his face.

  “Will you shut up and brush the sand out of your vagina? This isn’t about you,” Quinn snaps.

  I stand against the wall, not budging because I don’t know what to do. The woman I love walked out the door when push came to shove. Then again, I didn’t leave her many options. She kept telling me this was what she wanted to avoid, and I ignored her fears, deeming them unreasonable because nothing could stop us. True love would conquer all like the fairy tales told us when we were little.

  Fairy tales are full of shit.

  Life is not a story where the hero gets the girl, and everything works out in the end. Tell that to my swelling jaw and bruised cheek. And the hurt, disgusted face of my best friend, who I tried desperately to spare and failed miserably.

  “Look, Myles,” I start. “We didn’t mean for this to happen. I’ve been in love with Lizzie for years. I’m sorry you don’t think I’m worthy of her, but I can’t help the way we feel.”

  “We? She walked out of here and left you standing alone to fend for yourself. I told you, she’s a kid.”

  “She walked out of here because she didn’t feel she had another choice. You constantly make her feel like a child. I wanted to go public from the get-go, but she was the one who begged me for silence to spare your feelings. You were placed in the middle of our relationship because that’s how you always wanted it. Stop looking at her like she’s your kid sister and look at her like the rest of us see her. You’d be surprised what you find.”

  With slow, calculated movements, Myles stands in front of me with no expression on his face. Kade, Gabe, and Pax all stand ready to intervene, but something about the way he’s holding himself says they don’t have to worry.

  “I want you out of this house, out of the band, out of my life.” He takes a deep breath, though it doesn’t calm the storm lying beneath his rage. “You swore to me you’d never pursue her and the first chance you got, you ignored my wishes. You’re not my friend. Not anymore.”

  With that, he turns and walks out the room.

  Tatum lays a hand on my shoulder. “Give him some space. I’ll work on him at home and we’ll see what we can do. Promise.” She kisses my cheek before following her husband.

  The six of us stand in awkward silence.

  “Never a dull moment with him,” Quinn quips.

  I know she’s trying to be funny, but I can’t laugh. Not right now.

  In a matter of moments, I lost everything I held dear to my heart: the woman who owns it and her brother who was my oldest friend.

  Adrienne steps forward, clutching her chest. “If you need somewhere to stay, you’re more than welcome at our house.”

  I shake my head. “I can’t do that to you. I’ve done enough damage. Best if I just leave well enough alone until we can work things out.”

  “You don’t have to leave tonight,” Pax says. “He’ll never know.”

  I pat his shoulder. “I’ve done him wrong by not following his wishes or at least talking to him first. I don’t want to make things worse.”

  “Where will you go?” Gabe asks, pulling Quinn into his side.

  “Not sure. Maybe a hotel for tonight since it’s too late to bug my mom and dad.” I shrug. “I’ll figure it out. I’m sorry I dragged all of you into this mess.”

  Adrienne wraps me into her arms, but I can’t bring myself to return the gesture. “Don’t give up. Fight for what you want because if you don’t, then it was never worth fighting for in the first place.”

  Always the voice of reason.

  I disappear into my room and pack a small bag, bringing only what I need for the night. Before I walk out, I look back at the bed and remember how happy Lizzie and I were just hours before, wrapped up in each other’s arms.

  Adrienne is right. I need to fight. But I need to do it without causing more collateral damage.

  I need to employ the big guns.

  Not tonight.

  Tonight, I need to let things settle.

  Tomorrow is a different story.

  Part of me was hoping Myles wouldn’t show at the studio this morning. No such luck. Pax sent me a text as I was getting ready to leave the hotel, warning me that he was still on the warpath. Obviously, Tatum wasn’t able to calm him down last night. Guilt creeps in again because I put a rift between them as well.

  I was also hoping Pax’s message wouldn’t be the only one waiting for me on my phone. But that one, singular, red digit was staring me in the face when I unlocked my phone. No missed calls or voicemails.

  Things could have played out so differently between us. Lizzie was finally ready to accept there’s more between us than friendship and I was tired of dancing around my feelings toward the only woman who ever made my heart feel complete. I had it all planned out. I’d order her favorite Chinese food, we’d get comfy on the couch and watch stupid ‘90s movies all night long. Then, as I would carry her to bed, I’d stop in the hallway, look deeply into her eyes and say how much I love her. Over and over and over. Then repeat it the entire night as she screamed my name. Nothing fancy. We’re simple people enjoying simple luxuries like staying inside and making due with the situation.

  Blurting it out in my defense was never the plan, nor does any woman want to hear it that way.

  I’m a fucking idiot. All I had to do was keep my lips off hers for a few hours at the most. And yet it was the hardest thing I’d ever done. The way she stood in the kitchen and grabbed me, pulled me to her like every other time we’re in the same room together. It’s a force I can’t deny and I’m not sure why I tried all these years.

  Not even a shower could take her from my thoughts. It only made it worse, especially since all I could do was imagine her naked body and her sensual lips all over mine. I came in my hand in record time to that fantasy.

  There’s only so long I can be holed up in this hotel room. Part of me wants to stay here for the next few weeks to make things easier. My other option is to go to my parents’ house, which is a few blocks away from Lizzie. Definitely not a good idea.

  She knows my feelings, knows how I feel about keeping things secret. I can’t chase her anymore if she’s not willing to get caught. The ball is in her court. I can only pray to get another chance before I leave here, possibly for good.

  My cell phone rings as I stumble over the coffee table and practically fall on my face trying to get into the other room to fetch it. I deflate slightly when I see Tatum’s name flash across the screen.

  “Hey.”

  “Geez, don’t sound too excited to talk to me.” I love the woman to death, but I can’t find the humor in this situation right now.

  “Considering you’re the only person in your house willing to talk to me, I guess I should count my blessings.”

  She sighs over the phone. “I’m sorry, I really am. He’s just a stubborn, pigheaded ass.”

  “You said it, not me.”

  We stay silent for a minute. “I have an idea that will help.”

  Rubbing a hand down my face, I groan and sit back on the bed, letting my weight drag me down. “I’m done with secret set-ups and schemes. Obviously our last genius plan didn’t work. He won’t even talk to me.”

  “This isn’t a plan.” Now she has my attention. “Look, the reception is still on. I refuse to let him cancel it.”

  “So?”

  “So,” she says, a slight annoyance lacing her voice. “You and Lizzie are still supposed to give a speech.”
<
br />   “Yeah, you should probably find someone else,” I say.

  “Nope.” How can she be this confident that things will go well? “I know exactly how to solve this problem.”

  “How?”

  “The same way I did when we were kids.”

  She wouldn’t.

  “You’re telling his mom?”

  I can practically hear her grin through the phone. “You bet. He’s being an unreasonable ass. Someone needs to set him straight. If he won’t listen to me, he sure as shit will listen to his mom. And if that fails, I know his dad will set him straight.”

  This reminds me of the time we broke old man Carney’s window. It was a freak accident, but after Susan stormed down—thanks to Lizzie who tattled on us—we were all apologizing and mowing his yard for free the entire summer to pay for the damage. Susan Donovan is a force to be reckoned with. If you value your life, you agree to anything she says.

  “I feel like I’m ten years old all over again.”

  Tatum laughs. “Well, he’s acting like a ten-year-old, so it’s fitting.” She pauses, giving me a chance to crack a smile. Doesn’t happen, but I appreciate the effort. “You two have been best friends for as long as anyone can remember. He won’t throw that away.”

  How can she be so sure? “Let’s say he does forgive me. He won’t forget. It’ll come up whenever he wants, just to throw it in my face.”

  “That’s when his wife takes over.”

  “Okay, solves his issue. Kinda. What about Lizzie? She walked out and I haven’t heard from her since.”

  “Let me take care of Lizzie. It’s about time for a sister chat.” That could be good. “And I’m bringing Quinn.”

  Scratch that. This can go severely wrong in a matter of seconds.

  “I should just fly back to California and record my parts there. They can piece them together in editing.”

  “Brecken Kenneth Lavery, so help me God, if you even think about booking a flight, I will hunt you down and beat your ass until you’re on the verge of dying then keep you there so you can’t haunt me.”

  Holy shit. Remind me to never piss her off.

  “Okay,” I say in defense. “I’ll stay until we’re all ready to leave. Back off, woman.”