The Wayfarers

by J. C. Snaith

  CHAPTER II

  LADY CYNTHIA CAREW

  Having come to this odd resolve, it behoved us to lose no time. Butwhither we should go, neither of us knew. North, south, east, or west,one latitude was as good as another. We should be equally served ineach. As for the means at our disposal, we had the sum of twelve-pencehalfpenny sterling. I am sure that much the same thoughts wereuppermost in the minds of us both, for the moment I looked at littleCynthia sitting on the couch with a tight mouth and ratter quizzicaleyes, I broke forth into a shout of laughter, which she returned sopromptly that it became a question as to whom the honour of the firstpeal belonged.

  In the midst of this pleasantry I walked to the door of the room andlocked it again. I had no mind to be taken unawares by the enemy; andprovided I was not, Francois' example had shown that a way of escapewas always open.

  "Now, my dear," says I, "we have no time to lose; let us be putting ourfew affairs in order. Look round this despoiled chamber, and tell meif you observe any article in it that could be turned into money at apawnshop, or is likely otherwise to serve us on our journey. I amsorry to say that every object of _vertu_ that I ever possessed uponwhich we might at a pinch have raised a seven-shilling piece hasalready been called upon to perform that office. There is oneexception even to these, it is true, but that cannot help us now, and Irejoice to think so. For five minutes before your arrival I gave awayto a connoisseur, a dilettante, a lover of the beautiful, Sir GodfreyKneller's picture of my famous grandfather. I think I could never haveheld up my head again had I given up that eminent nobleman to theignoble usages I have suggested. I foresaw this calamity; let me takethe credit therefore of its aversion."

  "You gave it away without receiving a farthing for it!" cries Cynthiaaghast. "Oh, what a folly, Jack! Had we it now we could make thirtyshillings of it at any dealer's."

  "I know, I know!" says I triumphantly, "I grant that; therefore do younot more clearly see how finely I have acted by my grandfather?"

  "Burn me if I do," says Cynthia. "Jack, what a fool thou art! For Isee never a thing of value left in the place; or stay, we might putthat pair of old iron pistols in a case and raise a loaf of bread onthem. I suppose that on the floor is the one with which you tried totake your life, and as the one other's cocked, I suppose that's loadedtoo."

  "Tried to take my life," says I. "Cynthia, what words are these?"

  "A truce to dissimulation, if you please," says Cynthia tartly, "forfeather-headed fellow that you are, yet do no better at it than any ofthe other arts and sciences at which you have tried and failed."

  I turned to the table and began sorting a handful of cards to cover myconfusion. A clever woman is the devil! Cynthia, to add a sting toher speech, picked up the discharged pistol from the carpet,ostentatiously searched for its case, and put it in. She then took upthe other.

  "Is this loaded, or is it not?" she asked.

  "No, it's not loaded," says I. "Pull down the trigger and put it intoo."

  "Then, if it's not loaded, why was it cocked?" The question wasdecidedly disconcerting. I was by no means willing to go into thedetails of that matter, and therefore hesitated to find a reason.

  "You don't know whether it's loaded or not," says Cynthia, sternly.

  "Most certainly I do. Have I not said that it is not loaded?"

  "And have I not said," says the impudent Cynthia, "that you don't knowwhether it's loaded or not?"

  "But, my dear child," says I, "have I not positively said that thething's not loaded?"

  "Oh yes, I admit that," says the provoking creature. "But you mustadmit too, sir, that I have more faith in my own judgment than I havein yours. I say again that you don't know whether that pistol isloaded or whether it is not."

  "I'll lay you two to one in hundreds that I do," says I hotly.

  "Would not a case of iron pistols against the sum of twelvepencehalfpenny be more appropriate in the circumstances?" says Cynthia.

  "I believe you are right there," says I.

  Cynthia then presented the pistol at the wall and a strange thinghappened. The room was filled with a reverberating crash, and when thesmoke that arose had lifted a little it was discovered that a largemirror had been shivered into a thousand pieces.

  "There," says Cynthia triumphantly.

  As for me, I stood aghast for a moment, perfectly at a loss to explainthe pistol's strange behaviour. Then I suddenly broke out into a fitof uncontrollable laughter; the admirable Francois had loaded them both.

  It was then the turn of Cynthia to stand aghast.

  "I hope your misfortunes have not deprived you of your reason," saysshe, more tartly than ever; and added, "I knew all along that youdidn't know whether it was loaded or not."

  "Come, come!" says I, keenly anxious, you may be sure, to change thetopic. "We have already tarried here over-long. I will tell you thewhole story in a more convenient place and season. If we don't go atonce, I am afraid we shall not go at all."

  "True," says Cynthia, seating herself again on the couch with the mostdeliberate and provoking coolness.

  "What new whimsey is this?" says I, utterly nonplussed.

  "I think, my Lord Tiverton," says Cynthia, with remarkable gravity,"that you have overlooked an important particular."

  "Which? What?" says I.

  "Nay, my lord," says she, "I am the last person in the world to remindyou."

  That might be true enough so far as it went, but the pretty roguishchit composed her features and her person into such an affectation ofsolemnity, and there was such a saucy twinkle in her eyes too, that allthe words in the English tongue could not have spoken more plainly thanshe did without uttering any. It is, I suppose, one of the highestgifts of her sex, though to be sure, would it were exercised more!

  "Dammy," says I, "you mean--er--er; you mean that I must ask you tomarry me."

  Instead of replying at once, she bent down and picked up half-a-dozencards from the floor, arranged them in the shape of a fan, and heldthem in front of her eyes.

  "La," says she, "your lordship is too kind. Pray ascribe my blushes tomy country breeding."

  "Pah!" says I, "we have not the time for play-acting now. The momentis very ill-chosen."

  "Oh, I grant you that," says she, "but as you will allow that it wasnone of my choosing, why should I forego the peculiar privileges thatmy sex have ever derived from this position? No, as I'm a woman, Iwill have this thing carried through in the most proper and approvedmanner. Ods lud, sir! what notions have you got! I will be coy if Ichoose, or haughty, or easy, or gracious, or mocking, or disdainful,just as my mood is and as I've a mind to be. Now then, my lord, downon to your noble knees, and pour forth your foolish speeches that aremeant to be so grand, which you must forget in the middle, whereon youwill descend out of a rather turgid poetry into a bald and somewhatblasphemous prose. For I will have your lordship to know that I willbe wooed as a woman, else I will not be wooed at all. Down, down on toyour knees, my lord, and up, up with your apostrophes."

  "What a consummate folly is this," says I, "when at any moment we maybe ta'en."

  But the pretty little fool sat as demure as a mouse, not relaxing a lipor twitching an eyebrow, i' faith as adorable a picture of a person asany I've seen off a painted canvas. There was that tantalizing airabout her which at once invited, yet forbade; that aroused that whichit denied. I vow nothing could have been more taking than the sight oflittle Cynthia sitting there as straight as any arrow that ever Cupidshot, her knees and heels together, and her hands spread out with thepalms turned down, and her dainty toes peeping from underneath herpetticoat. Indeed, so was I worked on by her graces and airs that Iwas like to forget the grim pass in which we were involved. Nay, Igradually began to solicit her in a formal manner; a piece of behaviourthat contributed as much to her whimsical pleasure as it did to myembarrassment. And when in accents of undying regard, I came to askfor her hand in exchange for my heart and fortune, she was so charmedwit
h the natural fervour with which I did it, that she stopped meimperiously, in the middle of much passion, and says: "I would haveyour lordship go over again that splendid passage that you have justuttered, that hath the fine swearing and the great humility in it. Inever heard anything choicer; Mr. Betterton never surpassed it."

  And when I had humoured her as much as she wished and that was notuntil I was thirsty and hot, and she was somewhat weary of keeping thestrict attitude that she thought best suited to receive my addressesin, says she: "I declare, sir, you have pleased me vastly. You are asgood a suitor as any of them all. Mr. Waring never wooed me half sowell. As for Mr. Stokes, and Colonel Regan, and Sir John Dufty, and mylord Viscount Brighouse, you compare very well with them too. You havenot the fine brawny pease-and-bacon appearance of Sir John, it is true,nor is your voice so rich and noble as the Colonel's, begorra, nor isyour nose so well curved as Mr. Stoke's, nor have you a pretty littlelisp like my lord Viscount, but in the sum-total of your attributes youdo very fairly well. And therefore as your lordship's fortune is soconsiderable, and you have already gained the approbation of my father,I think the only course open to me--Oh, Jack, listen! What in the nameof heaven is that?"

  "You may well ask," says I. "One, two, three, four, five probably ormore, according to their boots on the stairs, gentlemen from Bow Streetcome to wait upon us."

  "Oh, what shall we do!" says poor Cynthia, clapping her hands.

  "Keep very calm, child, and carefully heed what I say. They will notmolest you; I am their game. But I doubt gravely whether I shall fallto them at present. My way lies through that window and along thetiles, and whilst they follow, you will simply go downstairs and walkout at the front door. Go as swiftly as you can down to Piccadilly tothe gates of Hyde Park. And if I am not already come there before you,wait till I arrive. It is to be considered, of course, that I may havemore difficulty than I apprehend in slipping these fellows."

  Here the door was roughly taken and the next instant so heavy a blowwas delivered against it as partly drove in one of the panels. I hadjust time to run into the adjoining chamber for a hat and ariding-cloak, to plant a kiss between brave little Cynthia's brows, andabjure her not to be afraid, when the door was driven in, and three orfour ugly wretches came tumbling one upon another pell-mell into theroom.