by S. Moose
Table of Contents
Playlist
Other books by S. Moose
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Copyright
Even Rhythm
Book 2 in the Offbeat series
Copyright © 2015 by S. Moose
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used factiously, and any resemblance to any actual person, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owner.
All rights reserved.
Photography and cover design by Allan Spiers @ Allen Spiers Photography
http://www.allanspiers.com
https://www.facebook.com/AllanSpiersPhotography
Interior Formatting by Cassy Roop @ Pink Ink Designs
Model: Gunnar DeWitt
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Gunnar-DeWitt/691299197635070
Editing by Kellie Montgomery
Proofreading by Jessica Glover
Blurb assistance: Carol Eastman
Wide Awake by Katy Perry
Love Myself by Hailee Steinfeld
Cry by Jason Walker
Bumper Cars by Alex & Sierra
Make It Without You by Andrew Belle
She Is Love by Parachute
What Are Words by Chris Medina
Barefoot and Bruised by Jamestown Story
Writing’s On The Wall by Sam Smith
Heartbeat by Carrie Underwood
Strip It Down by Luke Bryan
This Time Around by Jr Aquino
A Piece For You by Meaghan smith
After Afterall by William Fitzsimmons
Little Do You Know by Alex & Sierra
Lift Me Up by Kate Viegele
Hold Each Other by A Great Big World
Love You Forever by Ryan Huston
Other books by S. Moose
Never Letting Go series
Reaching Out For You
Holding Onto You
Next to Forever
Infinity Series
Vision of Love
Vision of Destiny
Vision of Hope
Interrupted Series
Interrupted Vol 1
Interrupted Vol 2
Interrupted Vol 3
The Offbeat Series
Offbeat
Standalones
Teach Me Love
Beautiful Lessons with Rebecca Brooke
Take Me Away
Dedication
To everyone who has been given a second chance.
Always believe and fight for what you want.
Ryan
TAKING MY FINAL breath, I hear Bayleigh crying and begging me to come back. I can’t open my eyes or feel her touch. I want so badly to feel her again. I’d give anything for one more kiss. My time with her was too short. The only thing I want is for her to be strong and live a long life. She deserves all of that.
Leaving this Earth isn’t my choice. It’s my time and I have to move on. At least the good thing about dying is being able to watch over my family and friends. I get to watch them live their lives and be happy while I wait in heaven for them.
Looking around I see my dead body and everyone around me crying. I feel okay to be honest. I know it sounds morbid, but I feel at peace. I’m not alone anymore.
For two years I went through life unsure of what I wanted or needed. Coming home to Bayleigh, and to my family, was the best decision I made. I’m not leaving with unanswered questions or feeling unsettled.
Turning away, I walk down a dark road. I look around and everything’s blank. There’s no light or indication of where to go.
“Where the hell’s that light?” I mutter as I keep wandering around. It’s weird. There’s a feeling I can’t describe. I walk and walk, with no end in sight.
“Hello? Light? Where the fuck are you?” Shit, I think. Am I going to hell?
Running down the road, I see an empty building and rush inside. Pushing open the door, I’m in a rose garden. The sun is shining and there’s a bench underneath a tree. Maybe this is heaven.
Walking to the bench, I sit down and place my hands on my knees. I get to see my dad. Maybe he’s waiting for me somewhere or I’m supposed to wait here for him.
I’m not sure how much time passes. The sun is still out and people are walking around with smiles on their faces, and strolling on with their day.
“Sir?” I look over and see an adorable girl with bright blue eyes and long blonde hair. She looks familiar. “Sir?” she asks again and this time I see tears forming in her eyes.
“Hi sweetheart.” I smile and get up from the bench, kneeling down on one knee and placing my hand on her shoulder. “What’s your name?” She shrugs and wipes her eyes. “Are you lost?”
“I think so,” she whispers. Her eyes are still on me. “I don’t know where my mommy and daddy are. No one’s helping me.”
“Where did you last see them?”
“I’m . . . I’m not sure. Can you help me please?”
I look around again to see if I can get anyone’s attention and help us. Only, no one is looking in our direction. We’re standing here, in a crowd, but no one is stopping to say hello or offering help.
“How long have you been lost?”
“I’m not sure. What’s your name?”
“Ryan,” I tell her. “It’s Ryan.”
“Okay, Ryan.” She holds out her hand and I take it. “Let’s go find my mommy and daddy.”
“Sounds good, sweetheart.”
Bayleigh
RIGHT BEFORE MY eyes, I’m looking at what I can’t deny.
“Are you sure these are right?” Mandy asks, looking at each test resting on the counter. “There are such things as false positives right?”
“So all twenty are wrong?” I shout, throwing my arms in the air. “How can this happen?”
“Well,” Mandy starts to say, “When two people have sex without protection, and it’s hot
and heavy with moaning, lots of moaning, then a baby happens.”
I see the smirk on her face and all I want to do is smack it off. “This isn’t funny, Mandy. I am pregnant with my ex’s baby, who by the way, hasn’t talked to me in over two months, so what the fuck do you suggest I do?”
“Language, Murphy! I don’t want my future niece or nephew to be around that potty mouth of yours.” She touches my stomach and I swat her hand away.
“You aren’t helping,” I seethe. “What do I do?”
I swallow the lump in my throat I’ve been fighting since seeing the twenty positive results. I force myself to say something, anything, and nothing comes out. I’m not sure what to think or what to say. I’m twenty-three years old, finally on my own, and I’m pregnant with my ex boyfriend’s There’s no reason for him to come back to Rochester either. We went baby. This isn’t the life I want. How can I raise a baby on my own?
My mind swirls thinking about doing this alone; even though I won’t be alone, I will be alone. Meaning I’ll have my friends and I’m sure my parents will be back, but who’ll be with me through the night and when baby decides to kick or what will happen when baby is born and it’s just the two of us? Being alone is a choice and since Tyler and I aren’t on speaking terms, he’ll most likely be upset about the pregnancy. I’m choosing this road to avoid confrontation and stress.
I groan.
Getting your period every month is healthy-that’s what we’re taught. If you miss a month then maybe you’re stressed and you need to be calmer. My periods and I are never on the same page. I didn’t think anything of it until I realized how late I’ve been. My period is always irregular. When I miss my period, I shrug it off like it’s no big deal. Only this time, I felt weird and tired all the time. I stopped taking my birth control after me and Tyler broke up the first time. I didn’t think I needed it since I wasn’t planning on having sex.
Then it happened. We had sex.
Without a condom.
And I wasn’t taking my pills.
It all makes sense. Standing in silence with my best friend, I lower myself to the bathroom floor, bringing my knees to my chest, and letting out a defeated sigh.
“I’m pregnant.”
“You are sweetie.” She joins me on the floor. “What are you going to do?”
Tears sting my eyes. I have no idea what I’m going to do. Tyler and I haven’t talked since he left for California again. I didn’t want to bring down his future. He’s going to be so mad when he finds out and it’s going to cause even more pain between us.
There’s the possibility he’s going to think the baby is Ryan’s and I don’t want that argument or even hear him accuse me of that. I’m not sure what the right thing to do is. It’s not like I can call him out of the blue and tell him. There’s no reason for him to come back to Rochester either. We went our separate ways and living our own lives. Things happened between us that neither can let go. If I tell him I’m pregnant he might use that against me to keep him. Sometimes when men find out their ex is pregnant, they automatically think it was planned from the start to keep them around. I never planned for this to happen. The night we had sex I didn’t think about it.
Now that I’m pregnant I have to be smarter. I have to do what’s right for our baby. Maybe I can be strong enough to have the baby on my own. I have my friends and my parents shouldn’t be gone too much longer.
Then I think about how Ryan and Tyler didn’t have their dad and how devastating it was. I can’t do that to our baby. He needs to be present and involved. Maybe we’ll be a family or maybe we’ll be best friends and raise our baby together.
Together.
We’ll be together. Baby, Bayleigh, and Tyler.
Clenching the last pregnancy test in my hand, tears sting my eyes again. I’m breathing hard and a piece of me feels like it’s missing.
“What am I going to do?” I whisper, looking at Mandy.
“I think you know what you have to do, sweetie. It’s going to be hard.” I nod my head, agreeing with her. “But why do I have a feeling you’re not going to listen to me?”
“Because if he ever comes back, I don’t want him to be with me because I’m pregnant. I’ll tell him in a few months. I can’t tell him now.”
I’m okay with this decision. I have to let the life-altering news sink in and figure out what I need to do. Touching my stomach, feeling the life we created, puts a smile on my face. The strength and fight I have inside me needs to remain unwavering. I can’t fall because it’s not just me. I have my baby to love and care for. If I don’t take care of myself, then I could possibly destroy my child’s life before him or her has even had a chance to live.
“I’m going to be strong for you, baby. I promise.”
Tyler
THE CALIFORNIA WAVES crash along the shore, pulling away and retreating only to come right back. My feelings are like the waves, and right now, I’m drowning. Since the start of everything: the rape, the breakup, trying to win Bayleigh back, helping her overcome her fears, losing my brother, and losing Bayleigh again, I don’t remember a time I haven’t been broken. I should be used to feeling this way. If only I could find my even rhythm and have things be the way it should. Only I don’t know what that is anymore. I used to think my life would be with Bayleigh and, by now, we’d have our forever. That’s not how the world and life works.
Sitting out here, with a glass of whiskey in my hand, leaning forward and resting my forearms on my thighs, I think about her. I think about our last encounter and the tone of her voice when she told me goodbye. My heart physically aches knowing she’s three thousand miles away. My heart misses her and I replay her words in my head. I’m fighting to hear something to convince myself to go back. I rub my forehead and curse under my breath.
I don’t know if going back to Rochester is the right thing to do. There’s nothing left for me at home. Ryan’s gone and my mom’s in Colorado. We’re dealing with Ryan’s death, and I couldn’t bring myself to stay and be there for her. It was an easy decision for her to make, moving to Colorado, and leaving the house to me. She spent time with me in California for a few weeks before we took the drive to my aunt and uncle’s. Their house is big enough and my mom feels good being around family. I miss her and it sucks knowing my mom is far away. I get her leaving. Losing a child is something time and love can never heal. What brings her peace is knowing Ryan’s with our dad and I’m here with her. Part of me wants to move to Colorado and start over out there with her. We can start over and leave the bad memories behind. Only if I do that, I’ll truly be away from Bayleigh. There are so many unanswered questions and being away for as long as I have doesn’t make it easier. My chest tightens and sobs rack me. I feel like my life stopped that night with her, and I’m only living because I’m breathing, if you can call this living.
The hotel room is empty and bare. Serena and Chad are worried about me. They want me to go out to dinner with them tonight and celebrate my last day. Giving what’s going on, Brian’s giving me some time off from work before I have to be back in the Rochester office. I got the promotion, and instead of celebrating, I’m keeping to myself. I’ve been too upset and angry since coming back from New York two months ago. Burying myself in work, trying to forget about her, and I’m constantly fighting the demons of guilt for not spending enough time with my brother.
The anger and hate I had consumed me. I spent two years refusing to talk to him and never made an effort to find out where he was or how he was doing. Maybe if I reached out to him and checked on him, we could have found the tumor faster. He went to the appointments and hospitals by himself. There was no one with him to comfort him and tell him everything would be okay. When he came back to town, I punched him and wanted him to leave. I blamed him for ruining my chances with Bayleigh. I blamed him for all the wrong in my life. The days I spent hating him, wishing he wasn’t here, and then he was gone. Now I’ll never get a chance to see him. Losing someone you love is one of the ha
rdest things to get over. Mix in regret and you have a recipe for disaster.
A loud knock gets my attention. I ignore it and look straight ahead. The knocking continues and gets louder. Turning my head, I get up and walk through the hotel room. Whoever is at the door better have a good reason to be here. I don’t want company or need anyone to talk to me.
I reach the doorknob and jerk the door open to find a sassy, tall, blonde before me.
“Mandy. What do you want?”
She pushes herself in and sits on the couch. “Hi Tyler. We need to talk.”
“I’m good,” I tell her, and walk to the bar. Pouring myself another glass of whiskey, I grip the counter and take a few deep breaths. The pain of seeing Mandy brings back images of Bayleigh. Seeing her reminds me of what’s gone. That night, her voice, and the way she let me go. The mark of our breakup and will forever haunt me.
“Tyler.”
I’ve known Mandy since high school. She’s Bayleigh’s best friend. Her sidekick and the one person she trusts more than anyone in this world. We have a special bond because of our love for Bayleigh. She’s a great person and I consider her one of my good friends. Only right now I don’t see her in that way.
She’s standing next to me with a sad expression on her face. “What? What do you want me to say?”
“Are you coming back?” she asks in a panicked tone and I have to turn away.
I shrug and drink my whiskey. “I’m heading to Colorado to see my mom for a little, and then I don’t know. Why? Why do I need to be back, Mandy?”
Mandy clears her throat and walks back to the couch. “You need to come back, Tyler.”
“For what? Huh? She pushed me away, then falls in love with Ryan and now she doesn’t want anything to do with me because for some unknown fucking reason she blames herself.” There’s no reason to pretend I’m okay or sugarcoat the truth. “I’m tired. I’m tired of her not realizing what she means to me and what I mean to her. I don’t know how much more I can take. There’s only so much my heart can take.” Even though I want to know how she’s doing, I can’t bring myself to go back there.
