Rattle His Cage: The Baxter Boys #4 (The Baxter Boys ~ Rattled)

by Charles, Jane

  My phone rings and I grab it from my pocket. “Hello.”

  “Dylan?”

  “Yeah.”

  “It’s Noah.”

  My heart stops before it starts pounding. He sounds old. Well, not old, but the last time I heard his voice he was only nine. A kid. “I’m really glad you called.” A lump forms in my throat, and I’m not sure I can say anything else.

  “Yeah, me too.”

  Dylan’s Adam’s apple bobs up and down, then he clears his throat. “So, Army huh? That’s awesome.” He wanders away from the rest of us, phone to his ear, and goes into the shop and sits on the couch in the reception area. Alex, Kelsey, and Joy watch him, like I was. They have the same soft smiles on their faces, happy for Dylan.

  “Who is Dylan talking too?” Zach asks as he brings in a box.

  “Noah.” I can’t stop watching him, and my grin is growing as his does. Then he laughs and my eyes flood with tears. He’s going to be okay. I know it in my gut. Once he has Nina, he’ll only be missing one-fourth of his family. It may not be 100% but it’s a lot more than he had a few days ago.

  “That’s fucking awesome.” Zach grins as he puts the last box on the stack. “Looks like it’s up to us to get the place cleaned then. Let’s get it done.”

  I don’t really mind cleaning, but my mind is on Dylan as we sweep out the cobwebs from corners, wash windows, scrub the bathroom and kitchen, and vacuum the apartment. With all of us working on the place, except Mia and Dylan, we’re done in little over an hour. It isn’t like we had to do much since it is an empty apartment.

  He’s been downstairs the entire time, but I don’t go check on him. He’s talking to his brother for the first time in years, and I’m sure they have a hell of a lot to say to each other.

  My phone dings and I glance at it, expecting it to be Dylan.

  Mia: your mom and a major is here.

  My heart stills.

  Me: downstairs

  Mia: yep

  I’m not sure if she’s pissed or not. We haven’t really discussed rules of having people over. Invited versus uninvited and that stuff. My mother and the Major are unexpected and uninvited.

  Me: be down in a sec

  “What’s up?” Kelsey asks.

  “Mom and the Major are here.”

  “Really?” She’s met them before but nobody else has.

  “Guess I better go down.” Unexpected visits from those two are never a good thing.

  I take a deep breath when I get to the bottom of the stairs and right before I go into my new apartment. Everyone from upstairs has followed me. I guess it’s time for them to meet the family. Normally I wouldn’t mind, but a surprise visit has me on edge because I’m pretty sure that I already know why they are here, and it pisses me off.

  “Hey Mom, Major.” Mia is sitting in her leather chair, a blanket wrapped around her. Mom and the major are on the couch. At least Mia doesn’t seem upset by the unannounced and surprise visit.

  They get up and come hug me and then look behind me as everyone fills the room. I quickly make the introductions. Maybe the visit isn’t what I think. Maybe they are just being all protective and coming to meet who I’m living with now. I really hope that’s all it is.

  “Hey, what’s going on?” Dylan asks as he comes into the apartment. He’s got the biggest grin on his face and walking with a relaxed ease I haven’t seen him do before.

  “Dylan, this is my mom and Major.”

  His grin gets bigger as he strides to the Major, hand outstretched. “I can never thank you enough for putting me in touch with my brother.”

  “Pleasure to do so, son.” Major shakes his hand. “So Private White contacted you?”

  “We just got off the phone.” Dylan shakes his head. “First time I’ve heard his voice in twelve years. It was a really good sound.”

  I am so happy for Dylan, but the unease of seeing Mom and the Major overshadow that. “So, Mom, Major, what brings you to New York?”

  My mom looks pointedly at me. “Tomorrow.”

  Damn! I knew it, but they’ve never blindsided me like this before.

  “Stopping in for a visit on your way to Trenton.” That had better be all—a visit.

  “We hoped you’d join us. Don’t you think it’s time?”

  Everybody’s watching us, a mixture of confusion and interest in their expressions. Of course, Mom is being cryptic, but I doubt that’s her intention.

  “No.”

  “You haven’t been back since the funeral.”

  “And I don’t need to.”

  “It’s his birthday,” she reminds me.

  As if I could forget. That date is tattooed on my body. “He’s not exactly having a party.”

  “It’s the right thing to do. Honor your father.”

  She’s been after me to visit Dad’s grave since we buried him. Something about healing and all of that. Seeing his grave and his name on a stone isn’t going to change anything, and it sure as hell isn’t going to make me feel better about what happened to him. “I don’t need to visit Daddy’s grave to remember, honor, or mourn him.”

  A few of the girls gasp. I guess they didn’t get what we were talking about exactly. Well, until now.

  She reaches out and takes my hand. “It isn’t healthy, Mary, to avoid.”

  “I’m not avoiding anything, Mom. It is what it is.”

  She blows out a sigh. “I don’t want to fight about this.”

  Good, because I don’t want to either, especially with so many people around. “We can get dinner if you want.”

  She shakes her head. “Bill and I are going to drive to Trenton and get a room. We were just hoping you’d join us this time.”

  “I’m all up for a family vacation, but I’m never stepping foot in Trenton again.”

  “Okay. We’ll call you on our way back through. We’ll get lunch, okay.”

  “Sounds great.” Thank God she’s letting it go.

  She looks around. “Maybe your friends could join us.”

  Really? What’s her game plan? Whenever she and the Major have visited before, they never asked anyone to join us for a meal, ever.

  She smiles. “I want to get to know your friends. You’ve never really had any, other than Kelsey and Bethany, and now you have new roommates, all these people around.”

  Tears mist her eyes. Really? Does she really see me as such a loser?

  “Sure!” My voice is tight because my chest and neck are too. “Lunch for everyone. Sounds great.”

  “We’ll call when we are on our way back.” Then she leans in and kisses my cheek before her and the Major leave. Once they are gone, everyone is looking at me.

  “I need to finish unpacking my shit.” There are too many questions in their eyes. Questions I don’t want to answer, and I hate to see the sympathy there, as if I’m someone to be pitied.

  I’m not.

  40

  “Well, that was a bit tense,” Sean says after Mary’s door closes.

  “It usually is.” Kelsey goes in to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water.

  “She doesn’t want to visit her dad’s grave?” Alyssa asks. “What’s up with that?”

  I get it. Mary doesn’t need those memories. They won’t do her or anyone else any good. And, she is honoring him in a very permanent way. Not that my friends know that. “I’m sure she has her reasons,” I finally say.

  “Like what?” Joy asks in confusions.

  “Reasons that are none of our business.”

  They study me. “You know?” Mia says slowly.

  I’m not giving anything away.

  “Maybe we can help,” Kelsey says with concern. “Her dad was killed in the line of duty.”

  I just nod. That part is true.

  “There’s more to it, isn’t there?” Christian studies me.

  “You know, for as much as everyone in this room wants to keep their secrets, you’re really nosey to find out something about someone else.” That should
shut them down. “And while we’re talking, forget about that damn bet.” I suddenly really want to protect her. It’s the first time I’ve seen Mary shaken. Even with her roommates she had a positive vibe and took things in stride. That’s so not the case with her family. “When and if we have sex is none of your business. My relationship with Mary is between her and I and nobody else. I get that it was a joke in the beginning, but enough is enough.”

  Ryan puts his hands up and backs up. “Okay man. Got it.”

  “Okay, no talking about Mary’s dad. No bets about sex, but can we discuss what her mom said about friends?” Kate asks. “That’s kind of messed up. How can someone like Mary not have a ton of friends? She has ‘most popular girl’ written all over her but not in a bad way.”

  That statement bugged me too, but when I followed her home that night, she was sitting outside on the stoop by herself. She evaded the question about friends. Didn’t she have anybody she could count on?

  “Now that I think about it, she’s mentioned people she knows, has gone out a few times, but she was pretty much a loner like me.” Then Kelsey tilts her head and holds up a finger. “No, not exactly. She’s a caregiver. She befriended me almost as soon as I moved in, but wasn’t pushy. When everything went to shit after the tattoo segment aired, she was right there for me. When I lost the apartment, my student teaching job, Mary came into my room, crawled in bed with me and was there.”

  “Your bed?” Zach asks. “Tell us more.”

  “It’s a girl thing, fuckhead.” Mia throws a pillow at him.

  “She helped me understand the diagnosis of my daughter. She checked on me when Alex was brooding here.”

  “I wasn’t brooding!”

  “She checked on me after I got out of the hospital and helped take care of my injuries,” Mia says. “She barely knew me.”

  “Mary listened to me go on about my family and then went to child services with me,” I say. “She found my brother.”

  “She’s a good person,” Christian says. “And makes damn good soup.”

  “So, where the hell are her friends?” Joy asks. “Does she have anyone for herself?”

  We all glance at each other, like it’s hard to accept that she might me alone.

  “Doesn’t matter,” Sean finally says. “She has us, whether she realizes it or not.”

  “I can’t believe Mom and Major came here to guilt me into going to Dad’s grave.” Fuming, I grab a couple of towels and a washrag and head into the bathroom. A shower will cleanse everything. It will release my tension, and get the filth off me from moving boxes and cleaning the apartment. Not that I minded doing any of that. I really enjoy being around Dylan and Alex’s friends. They are good people.

  The hot water sluices over my skin and I grab the shampoo, squishing some into the palm of my hand before adding to my hair and then scrubbing like I’m trying to wash away every piece of dirt, dust, or sweat that may be clinging to the tiniest root.

  “Friends. You’ve never really had many.” It’s a painful reminder, but she also didn’t need to announce it to a room full of people whom I had started to consider friends. I’m not close to them like Kelsey, and they all have a bond I’ve never experienced with anyone—ever. Now they are going to see me as a loser.

  I glance up at the ceiling and rinse my hair.

  I am tired.

  I am tired of being alone, but I’m not going to go off and have a pity party.

  I have it good. I do have a family, my health, an education, and soon, hopefully, the career I’ve always wanted. It’s not like I really need anybody or anything. Not like Dylan, who can’t find his siblings, or Mia, who is still recovering from her injuries, or Kelsey, who has managed to get back up, but had some really shitty things happen to her. Me not having a close friend or BFF is a really minor problem in the grand scheme of things compared to what other people are dealing with, and if I can help them, all the better.

  After washing, rinsing, and then turning off the shower, I grab a towel and wrap it around my body before getting another for my hair. “It’s time to put on my big girl panties and just deal. Pity party over.” I do have a wonderful life, and I’ve got to stop letting Mom get to me. It’s the same shit every time we talk. We haven’t even lived in the same town for the past three and a half years. What does she even know about me anyway? Her words should mean nothing.

  Correction. Her words mean nothing. Let her think I’m a loser who finally found friends to take pity on me. I know better.

  “Personally, I prefer no panties.”

  I jump at Dylan’s voice. “How long have you been standing there?” He’s leaning against the doorjamb leading from my bedroom into the bathroom.

  “Came to see if you needed help unpacking.” He steps into the room. “I was thinking about joining you in the shower, to scrub your back, of course, when you turned the water off.”

  Just seeing him standing there, grinning at me, washes away the rest of the tension that didn’t already go down the drain. I do have it good, and if things continue to work out with Dylan, I’ll be on top of the world.

  “What’s this about a pity party?”

  I wish he hadn’t heard that. Dylan is going to think I don’t appreciate what I do have, especially when he’s missing so much.

  “Nothing. I just let Mom get to me, that’s all.” It’s the truth. I may have been all about not letting Tiffany and gang push my buttons, but all Mom has to do is open her mouth and I’m on edge. I know she only wants what’s best for me, but her best for me is what is best for her, not me. I’ve tried to point out to her that it’s no different than when her dad tried to tell her college wasn’t necessary but she did what was best for her. She doesn’t get it.

  “Humor me. Something’s really bugged you.”

  I towel off my hair and then run a comb through it until the tangles are gone, really not wanting to have this conversation. “It’s nothing. Really.”

  He frowns at me as if he doesn’t believe me. I glance away from his reflection in the mirror and add leave-in conditioner to my hair and comb it through.

  “Everybody is talking about heading out to the Poison Apple tonight. Zach offered to do Mia’s makeup, if she feels up to it, and Christian’s band is playing. Want to go?”

  And be reminded once again of what a tight group they are and I’m basically an outsider and the only reason I’m included is because of Kelsey and Dylan. “I think I’d rather stay in.” I grab my blow dryer.

  “I’ll tell them.”

  Dylan disappears and I turn on my blow dryer. Dylan should go out and celebrate. He connected with Noah today and doesn’t need to be around me. And once they are gone, maybe I will just let my pity party continue. Tomorrow’s a new day, and I need to prepare and brace myself for lunch with Mom, Major and my new friends.

  When I flip my hair back, I catch Dylan’s reflection in the mirror. He’s back leaning in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, studying me. He’s probably waiting for Mia to get ready, though I’d assume everybody wants to clean up too.

  “Chinese, Mexican, French, Greek, Italian, Diner food?”

  “What?”

  “Dinner. You’ve got to eat.” He’s holding menus. “I grabbed these from downstairs. Neighborhood restaurants.”

  “Not really hungry.” I have bread and peanut butter. That’s good enough if I get hungry.

  He chuckles. “Now I know something’s wrong. You never turn down food and eat as much as a linebacker.”

  I just roll my eyes, even if he is right, and put my blow dryer away.

  “Go! Have fun with your friends. Celebrate.” I kiss him as I walk past him into my bedroom.

  41

  “So, what is good around here?” I hand the menus to Alex. He knows the area. Only him, Kelsey, and Mia are in the living room. The rest of the guys left, probably to get ready to go out. Joy, Zoe, and Kate are gone too, probably for the same reason.

  “Not going out?”

/>   “No. I’ll stay back here with Mary and Mia.”

  “The girls decided not to go either. They want to start packing up their places. Sean loaded the empty boxes left over from these guys and took them home.”

  “Get me something. Anything,” Alyssa calls. “I want to eat before I head to work.”

  She’ll be the only female of our group that will be at the Poison Apple, but only because she’ll be bartending.

  “Do you mind just getting food and bringing it back?” I ask Alex.

  “Mary okay?” Kelsey asks.

  “Not sure. She says she isn’t hungry.”

  Kelsey’s jaw drops. “Is she sick? I don’t think I’ve known Mary not to be hungry.”

  That’s my concern too and I haven’t known her nearly as long as Kelsey has.

  “Burgers, fries, and milkshakes for everyone.” Alex stands and grabs his coat.

  “Thanks.”

  After he and Kelsey leave, I go back into Mary’s room. She’s wearing pink pajama bottoms with kittens all over them, a t-shirt, and she’s sitting on the floor in front of her book case unloading another box.

  “Alex headed out to get hamburgers, fries, and milkshakes.”

  “Is everybody still here?”

  I shake my head. “Just Kelsey and Alex. Alyssa’s getting ready for work, and Mia’s still curled in the chair.”

  “It’s probably a good idea to eat before drinking.” She gets up off the floor.

  “What if I’d rather be here?”

  She rolls her eyes. “You talked to your brother today. Go out, enjoy.”

  Why does she want me to leave so badly? I’m beginning to think I did something. “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing.”

  I grab her hand and pull her over to the bed and make her sit before I settle beside her.

  “Something’s going on. You basically had a personality change when your mother and the Major where here.

  Mary drops her head so she’s looking at her lap. “It’s silly.”

  “Nothing is silly if it upsets you.”