From This Day Forward

by Victoria Thompson

  The room was almost dark now, so she could hardly see his face when he reached down and tipped her chin up sc he could look at her.

  “Are you all right? Did I frighten you?”

  “No,” she said, almost truthfully. He hadn’t frightened her very much. “I’m fine.”

  “Only fine?” he asked, his smile showing white in the shadows. “Didn’t you enjoy it just a little?”

  She certainly had and more than a little. She didn’t think it would be ladylike to say how much, though. “Yes, I did,” she admitted shyly, glad for the darkness that would hide her blush. “I didn’t expect... well, I didn’t expect anything at all.”

  He settled her more comfortably in the crook of his arm and brushed the hair back from her face. “That was only the beginning, Lori. It will get even better from now on.”

  Lori couldn’t imagine how it could get better, but she had no intention of asking him to explain. Quite suddenly, she realized that she was lying in bed with Adam Ross and that he had just possessed her body the way he had always possessed her heart. And she was nearly naked and he was virtually so. His robe was completely open, and if she just looked down, she would see... Except she wasn’t going to look down. It was all she could do to come to terms with his bare chest right there under her hand. For a second, she couldn’t seem to get her breath, and then he was talking again, just as if they were sitting in the parlor and everything was completely proper.

  “I’ll have Sudie move my things in here in the morning,” he was saying, and for a moment she wondered in alarm where she would be sleeping. And then she realized he meant that he would be sleeping here with her, just as if they were a real married couple. Which they were now.

  She would be sharing her bed with Adam Ross, just the way she would be sharing the rest of her life with him. She was his wife, really and truly. The one thing in the world she had always wanted.

  No sooner had the thought formed in her head then she remembered Bessie’s warning: Be careful what you wish for. But even memories of Bessie couldn’t mar the perfection of this moment when she knew that all her dreams were coming true. Nothing would ever hurt her again because she had Adam to keep her safe. Holding that knowledge very close to her heart, she snuggled up to her husband and surrendered to the oblivion of sleep.

  ***

  Adam woke her the next morning with kisses.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Ross,” he told her when at last she realized she wasn’t dreaming and opened her eyes.

  “Good morning,” she replied, her voice still rusty from sleep.

  Adam was smiling, and he looked so handsome, even with his cheeks covered with morning stubble and his hair tousled, Lori couldn’t seem to stop looking at him.

  “Do you know what day it is?” he asked her.

  Her brain wasn’t quite functioning yet, so she needed a few seconds to remember. “Sunday?”

  “The preacher is here this week, and I thought you might like to go to church.” Most of the area ministers had long since joined the Confederate Army, too, so those who remained were spread pretty thin and had to ride a large circuit, making regular services few and far between. “We do have something to be thankful for this morning, don’t we?”

  Oh, yes, she thought, gazing up at his beautiful face. “And I haven’t had a chance to show off my new bride yet, either,” he added.

  Plainly, he was looking forward to the prospect, although Lori wasn’t quite so enthusiastic. There would be questions. People would want to know why Adam Ross had so unexpectedly married a girl he’d never looked at twice. But at least she didn’t have to worry that anyone would ask those questions aloud of her and Adam. And later, when people found out she was pregnant and counted on their fingers, they would know, or at least they would think that they did. “Well, then, I guess we’d better get up and get ready hadn’t we?” she said, trying to match his cheerful mood. She was Adam Ross’s wife now. If she was still afraid, down deep inside, she wouldn’t let anyone know, not even him.

  His smile told her he was pleased with her answer, but he said, “In just a minute. First I have to do this.” And he leaned over and kissed her long and hard, the way a man kissed his wife in the privacy of his bedroom.

  Lori’s body responded instinctively, and almost of their own accord, her arms slipped around his neck to hold him close for as long as the kiss lasted. Vaguely, she realized that the shoulders she caressed were warm and completely bare, and when he finally, breathlessly, pulled away, she saw that his robe was gone and he was naked. Dear heavens, had he been that way all night?

  “Maybe we shouldn’t go to church after all,” he mused, still staring down at her face and now with such longing that her heart lurched in her chest. “Maybe we should just stay right here for the rest of the day so I can show you what I meant when I said it can only get better between us, Lori.”

  She gaped at him, shocked speechless at such a suggestion. Surely, he couldn’t mean it!

  And then he chuckled, telling her he didn't mean it at all. “The look on your face!” he marveled and bent down to drop a last kiss on the end of her nose. “Now we’d better get moving or we’ll be late, and I think we’ve given everyone enough cause for gossip already, haven’t we?”

  Before she could even register what he’d said, he turned away and threw off the covers and climbed out of the bed, and she saw that he was naked. Completely. She caught a glimpse of his broad back and tightly rounded buttocks in the second before she slammed her eyes shut.

  She heard him moving around and wondered frantically what she should do. She had no desire to see any more of him, but she couldn’t just lie here with her eyes shut all morning, either.

  She didn’t have to wonder long.

  “Oh, no, you don’t. You’re not going back to sleep,” he scolded, and before she could protest, he flung the covers off of her.

  With a yelp of outrage, she bolted up, scrambling to pull her nightdress down to cover herself and realizing in the process that the front was still unbuttoned and providing no concealment at all! Frantically grabbing it shut around her she threw him a furious glare before she remembered she shouldn’t be looking at him at all.

  Fortunately, she saw that he had found his robe and now was belting it around him.

  “You’d better get yourself out of that bed before I change my mind and climb back in it with you,” he warned with wicked grin, and Lori needed no further encouragement.

  She scrambled out of the bed, nearly falling when she missed the step stool and blushing furiously in embarrassment. Righting herself quickly, she glanced over to see he’d noticed her clumsiness and found to her mortification that he was watching her every move with great interest.

  Then she remembered her unbuttoned bodice and snatched it closed again.

  “I’d better go get dressed while I still can,” he said, still grinning, and when he was gone, Lori grabbed the bedpost and sagged against it, trying desperately to get control of her rioting emotions.

  Dear heavens, she was Adam’s wife now, really and truly. She’d given herself to him and somehow she’d pleased him and miraculously, he had pleased her, too, more than she ever dreamed possible. Everything, she saw in the light of day, was going to be all right.

  The door opened and Sudie came in. Her expression was worried until she saw Lori standing by the end of the bed still holding the front of her nightdress closed with one hand. Lori gave her the biggest smile her face could hold, and Sudie released her breath in a long sigh.

  “Praise be,” she said. “Now let’s get you ready for church.”

  ***

  Being “late” for church did not involve missing the beginning of the service, but rather missing the visiting that went on in the hour before the service. If you weren’t there, as they said, people would be talking about you, so most folks tried to be there.

  Since church services had become so irregular in the past few years, such gatherings had taken on even greater im
portance because it occurred so seldom.

  Lori found her apprehension growing as their buggy approached the church. She and Adam would surely be the main topic of conversation on this, the first worship service since their unexpected wedding. Indeed, she could see every head turning in their direction, and she imagined all conversation would have stopped.

  Clenching her gloved hands tightly together in her lap, she prayed for strength as Adam drew the buggy to a stop at the end of the long row of wagons already parked near the church.

  When he had set the brake, Adam glanced at her and shook his head. “Smile, Mrs. Ross, or people will think I’ve been abusing you!”

  That made her smile in spite of herself. Adam could never abuse anyone. The mere thought was ridiculous.

  He climbed down carefully from the buggy, ever mindful aof his leg, and then reached up to help her down as well. Lori was wearing her wedding dress, and she would need every ounce of confidence that came from knowing she looked her best.

  As she straightened her skirts, she imagined she heard the whispered reaction to her dress making its way through the crowd. The women—especially the young women—would be envious. What with the privations the war had caused, she wouldn’t remember the last time someone had worn a new dress to church.

  “Don’t forget to smile,” Adam whispered as he offered her his arm, and she had no trouble smiling for him. He was she was certain, the most wonderful husband anyone had ever had.

  Adam set the pace, wielding his cane with a flourish, so they walked slowly, giving everyone a chance to observe them. Lori wondered who would be the first to speak to them and was relieved to see it would be Reverend Hartsfield who hurried out of the crowd to greet them.

  “Good morning, Adam,” he said, shaking Adam’s hand then turned to Lori. “You’re looking very well this morning Mrs. Ross.”

  “Thank you,” she said, hating the flush she knew was rising in her cheeks. Why had he made a reference to her health? Was that what everyone had been talking about this morning, her delicate condition?

  He turned to the crowd, all of whom were staring at then now, and said, “Here they are, the newlyweds!”

  There was some forced laughter, and then Lori saw Bessie making her way through the crowd toward them. She was wearing her “good” dress, the one that was so old the black had faded to green in spots, and a bonnet that had long since lost its shape, but she looked beautiful to Lori, who knew that she, at least, would be kind to them.

  “My, my, don’t you look fine,” Bessie exclaimed, taking Lori’s hands in hers. She glanced up at Adam. “You must be takin’ good care of her, Mr. Ross.”

  “I’ve certainly been trying to,” Adam admitted.

  “Come on and show everybody your ring,” Bessie told Lori, and brooking no refusal, she drew Lori with her as they headed for a group of ladies standing near the church steps.

  Lori glanced back longingly at Adam, but he was smiling his approval. He would expect her to mingle with the other women, not cling to his arm for protection. She managed to smile back, then turned her attention to where Bessie was leading her.

  The crowd in the church yard was almost entirely female, and the males, except for Adam, were either elderly or very young, virtually the only kind of men left in Texas. People stood in clusters, divided by ancient and unspoken rules according to social rank. When Lori recognized the women in the group toward which Bessie was leading her, she almost stopped dead in her tracks.

  Bessie wasn’t taking her to the women with whom they usually conversed on Sunday morning, the other poor widows whose husbands had owned tiny farms and had left them penniless when they went off to war. Oh, no, she was taking her to the group of planters’ wives and daughters. Some of these women were widows, too, and many of them might be a lot poorer than they’d been before the war, but they were still the most important people in the county—people who, until today, had never had more than a nod for Lori McClintock.

  But now, of course, she was Lori Ross.

  “Lori,” one of the women said, “what a surprise! We had no idea that Adam Ross was courting you.” Her mouth was smiling, but her eyes were cold.

  Lori glanced around the circle of familiar faces, faces she had seen at every church service she had ever attended, and saw no trace of friendliness in any of them. She lifted her chin in defiance, determined not to betray the slightest hint of shame. If nothing else, she owed it to Adam not to flinch before them. “Didn’t you?” she replied with an insincere smile of her own.

  “What a clever girl you are,” Sally Smythe cooed through gritted teeth. “To steal the last bachelor in the county out from under our noses!” Sally, Lori knew, was two years older than she, and under ordinary circumstances would have been considered, at age twenty-two, a hopeless old maid. With all the men off fighting the war, however, most young women remained unmarried, and considering how few of those men would be returning home, they might well die that way, too. No wonder Sally was angry.

  “I don’t think I stole him,” Lori insisted.

  “No, indeed,” Bessie confirmed. “Why, he come to the house begging me for her hand. Wasn’t any of Lori’s doin’ at all.”

  Lori wanted to tell Bessie to shut her mouth and keep it shut, she was only making things worse, but of course she couldn’t say a word.

  “We’re all a little disappointed that we weren’t invited to the wedding,” Mrs. Price said with feigned regret. She was a tall, slender woman whose face was creased with lines that showed she seldom smiled. “Nobody has parties anymore and I’m sure we would have been happy for an excuse to get together.”

  “Adam wanted a private ceremony,” Lori said. “But we’ve been talking about having a party real soon.” That wasn’t really a lie. Adam had mentioned the idea once or twice, she was sure.

  “That would be lovely,” the first woman said. She was Mrs. Simmons, a plump woman with five unmarried daughters, and her sour expression told Lori that celebrating another woman’s wedding wouldn’t be lovely at all.

  “That’s a new dress, isn’t it?” one of the younger women said with thinly disguised bitterness.

  Lori looked down self-consciously, as if she had to remind herself of what she was wearing. “Oh, yes,” she confirmed.

  “Mr. Ross had it made up special for her,” Bessie was only too happy to report. “Nothing would do him but she had to have new clothes for the wedding.”

  Lori managed not to wince.

  “I wonder where he got the cloth,” Mrs. Simmons said not bothering to hide the envy in her voice. “I haven’t seen anything so fine in Texas in years.”

  “That girl of his probably had it squirreled away,” Mrs. Price said with a sniff. “What’s her name? The one who practically runs his place?” she asked Lori.

  “Sudie,” Lori said, although she would have liked to pretend she didn’t know what they were talking about. For some reason she felt disloyal mentioning Sudie’s name to these women.

  “That’s right,” Mrs. Price agreed. “I’ve told Mr. Price a dozen times, if we had a girl like that, I’d never have to turn my hand!” Mr. Price, of course, was off fighting with Hood’s Texas Brigade and had been for four years.

  “Must be nice for you now, Lori,” Sally said with an evil grin. “With Adam’s slaves, you don’t have to do your own work anymore. Wonder what your father would’ve said to that. He was an abolitionist, wasn’t he?”

  “My father died fighting for the Confederacy, as you know perfectly well,” Lori replied, truly angry now. These people might be Adam’s friends, but he wouldn’t expect her to stand here and be insulted. She had half a mind to—

  “Of course he did, dear,” Sally’s mother interjected quickly, giving her daughter a warning look. “Where’s your breeding, Sally? If you aren’t careful, Lori won’t ever invite you to Elmhurst again!”

  Plainly, Sally hadn’t considered this possibility, and her eyes grew large with alarm as she did.

  �
��You haven’t shown us your ring,” another of the younger women said in an obvious attempt to placate Lori.

  “Oh, yes, do let us see,” Mrs. Smythe agreed quickly. Slowly, deliberately, Lori pulled off the glove she had bought with Adam’s money and held out her hand for them to see. Only when she looked down herself did she realize how changed she was in just a month. The hand that had been red and rough and callused was now smooth and white, a lady’s hand. Her clothes were different, too, marking her as one of the elite. No one who saw her this morning would mistake her for white trash.

  She only wished the knowledge gave her more comfort.

  Suddenly, all the women seemed determined to make Lori feel welcome in their company and include her in their conversation. Their talk swirled around her, although she replied to their remarks with only a word or two. Mrs. Smythe’s warning about being excluded from Elmhurst must have frightened all of them into choosing to overlook how much they might resent the fact that somebody like Lori had captured one of their own.

  Finally, Bessie poked her in the ribs with her elbow and leaned over to whisper, “Be civil!”

  Lori glared at her, but she also knew Bessie was right. She had nothing to gain by being rude back to these women. In fact, she should be enjoying the novelty of having them try to make friends with her, especially knowing how much it must gall them to do so.

  For a few moments she did just that, managing to reply politely to inquiries and even asking a question or two of her own to move things along.

  Then, suddenly, Sally asked, “Have you heard anything from Eric?”

  Stunned, Lori gaped at her, unable to believe even she could be so cruel. But to her surprise, she saw not a trace of smugness on Sally’s face.

  “Has he written Adam any letters?” she pressed eagerly. “Do you know when he’s coming home?”

  Lori’s head was spinning, and she needed another minute to realize that Sally was merely interested in hearing about Eric. She had no idea what he had done to Lori, or how Lori felt about him.