Ruthless Heart

by Beth Williamson

  Chapter Eleven

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  He’d spent too much valuable time thinking about Eliza and the damn ring. What the hell had he been thinking? It was bad enough he’d given her a birthday present, even if the soap was something he’d bought back in Bellman. When he’d realized it was her birthday, he’d thought she might like something to wash with other than sand. Besides, God knew he never got birthday gifts, and obviously, she didn’t either.

  The look on her face still shimmered in his memory. He could hardly allow himself to accept he’d had the most powerful orgasm of his like by pleasuring her. Never, never expected it but he wanted it again. Hell, it made him hard just thinking about it.

  Then there was the damn ring he’d bought. Twenty dollars was more than he’d intended to spend in a week on food and supplies, much less in one minute on a ring for the wife he didn’t really have.

  Yet he’d gone and done it anyway. Her expression when he’d put the ring on her finger had been enough to make him forget she wasn’t his wife. She’d acted as if they had said their “I do’s” and gotten hitched instead of making the pretend marriage look more real to the people they met along the trail. His intention had been to hide their imaginary marriage, not make it more real.

  “Grady, I don’t believe you’re paying attention.”

  Eliza’s schoolmarm tone yanked him out of his fascination with her lips. Damn. He was acting like a complete lovesick calf around her. If only they didn’t have sex every goddamn night, if only he didn’t keep her so close to his body when they slept, if only, if only…

  None of it mattered worth a spit now. Done was done. He had to focus on who and what he was after, not the distracting Eliza.

  As they finished riding their fourteenth day together, he knew he’d leave her in the next town they found.

  Grady could have left her in the wild, but he wanted to be sure she was at least in civilization before abandoning her. There was a small town about ten miles away. It was the nearest to them, in the direction his quarry was headed, and the perfect place to rid himself of his distraction before he completely lost himself in her arms. He couldn’t fail at this job, even if he’d never before hunted a woman.

  Eliza would be furious, not annoyed as she was right now as she attempted to teach him how to make cornpone in the skillet for supper. Truth was, he wasn’t ever going to make his own, so he didn’t pay much attention to her. Damned if he wasn’t actually humoring the woman.

  Definitely time to part ways.

  “I ain’t a cook, Liz.” He poked at the fire with a stick. “I eat in restaurants or make do with stuff I ain’t gotta cook, except coffee, of course.”

  She tutted and continued her lesson, pushing her spectacles up her nose. The way she explained things made him wonder if she really was a schoolmarm. If she wasn’t, she sure as hell could be. Every detail, boring or not, was covered in how to cook cornpone. She might even have it written down in her journal somewhere.

  “You sure you ain’t a schoolteacher gone loco?” He knew she’d get past annoyed and move into angry with him, which is why he said it. “’Cause, woman, you are just spending too much of your time thinking about it.”

  “Good gracious, Grady, you’re deliberately inciting my temper, and I hate to admit it’s working.” She huffed and puffed at the fire, shooting him dark glances as the cornpone’s delicious aroma wafted past his nose.

  Eliza riled up was a sight to see. He preferred her over the mousy spinster. If he were smart, he’d wire the old man in Tolson that he hadn’t found his quarry and quit looking. If he were smart, he’d hold onto Eliza and find a small corner of nowhere to be with her for good.

  However, Grady would be the first to admit he wasn’t always the smart one and didn’t always do what he should. He’d never given up on a job before, and he wasn’t about to start. His work depended on his reputation, one he’d built up from years of being successful at finding what he set out to hunt.

  He wouldn’t throw all of it away because of Eliza. Or perhaps, he couldn’t because the possibility of giving up the one thing he was good at scared the shit out of him. Hunting and killing were part of who he was, not just what he did. Eliza couldn’t change him any more than she could tame a cougar.

  “I’m not going to share the cornpone with you, by the way. You intentionally misbehaved, so I will do you the same in kind and not feed you the fruits of my labor.” No matter how much he tried to teach her different, she kept talking like a thick textbook on a dusty shelf. Eliza would not change her ways.

  Neither would Grady.

  Decision made, even if he didn’t want to think about what he’d do tomorrow, Grady poured himself a cup of coffee and sat back, watching her fuss around the fire. He should leave her be for the night without complicating his weakness for her body. Yet each time she moved, her unbound hair flashed blue-black in the firelight.

  He was already aroused, much to his consternation. There were two things he could do, either strip her naked and fuck her silly, or walk away until she fell asleep then spend the night thinking about how he wanted to wake her up.

  Grady had already had sex with her too many times, and he shouldn’t have touched her even once. Although it nearly made him weak in the knees, he stood up and stretched his legs.

  “I won’t ask you for any then.” He turned and walked toward the trees behind them, his steps almost dragging.

  “Wait, Grady, where are you going?”

  She sounded confused, something he had to nip in the bud. “Away from you for a while. I ain’t used to being around people much.”

  She sucked in a breath, audible even from fifteen feet away.

  Grady felt the force of it and almost tripped. “Damn it to hell.” He gritted his teeth and kept walking.

  Eliza stared at the spot Grady disappeared into until the cornpone began to smoke. She pulled the pan off the fire and tried to pull her attention back to her supper.

  It didn’t matter that he’d left her alone. Since his horse was still tethered to the tree, he’d be back. Of course, he’d still walked away without an apology and only a cryptic explanation. She wanted to be angry with him, but instead, she was disappointed in herself.

  There was no future for the two of them; she knew that. They were walking a very fine line between reality and fantasy, and sooner or later it would become razor sharp, enough to wound both of them. The ring was as fake as their marriage, even if it felt real on her finger.

  Yet she wanted him to come back, wanted more of his touch, wanted to sleep by his side, and for that, she was disappointed in herself. If only he wasn’t hunting Angeline, she’d be free to pursue a future with Grady, to convince him they were perfect for each other.

  Pipe dreams, that’s all they were. Dreaming could lead to wonderful things, like books and inventions, but in this case, dreams of Grady would bring her nothing but heartache.

  She couldn’t help how she felt though. Eliza knew she was in love with him, and that would never change, no matter what happened. She recognized the deep feelings for what they were, and she had hoped he felt the same way.

  Maybe he did. The thought made her heart thump hard enough to make her chest hurt. Perhaps putting distance between them was his way of denying his feelings. She could only hope it were true, or perhaps she shouldn’t hope for it at all.

  If they loved each other though, Eliza liked to believe anything was possible. Even resolving the impossible situation they were in, on two sides of a situation, made even murkier by the untruths she’d contributed.

  Eliza used to think she was trapped in her life at home, like a bird in a cage. Now that she was free, flying on her own, soaring in the sky, she found her life to be just as constraining. There were rules for everything, even living in sin with a bounty hunter on the trail of her runaway sister.

  If she weren’t experiencing it firsthand, she might even think it was a story from a book. She wished it was, because then, she could
write a happy ending for herself.

  Eliza sighed and forced herself to focus on the meal rather than the missing companion. Truthfully, she was surprised he hadn’t left her behind again. The fact he hadn’t made her believe Grady had feelings for her. It was a circle of confusion that made her head and heart hurt.

  She ate without tasting much, but her belly was full, and after the day’s activities, her body was exhausted. She left the pan with a cloth over it for Grady, despite her warning she wouldn’t share it with him, then cleaned up everything she’d used to cook with.

  With a yearning for his company she had trouble setting aside, Eliza laid down on her bedroll and watched the dancing flames in the fire until her eyes grew heavy. She fell asleep to the sound of the crickets singing her a lullaby.

  Grady stood in the trees, smoking a cheroot and watching her. Damn fool that he was, he couldn’t even be away from her and actually being away from her. He told himself it was because he wanted to be sure she was safe.

  He was a fucking liar.

  When she laid down to sleep, he snuffed out the cheroot and leaned against the nearest tree. Eliza was so innocent, still trusting of the world around her. She hadn’t even checked to be sure it was safe before she slept.

  He waited another thirty minutes before he returned to the fire. To his surprise, she’d left cornpone for him to eat. As he sat down and pulled a piece from the pan, she made a noise in her sleep. It was almost a moan.

  Grady’s blood began pumping through him, and every small hair on his body stood up. He didn’t even want to consider what his reaction meant. His body knew hers from top to bottom—each dip, curve, and sweet spot.

  His dick pulsed, pressing against his trousers. She was asleep for God’s sake. What the hell was wrong with him? He’d just made a vow to leave her alone, to literally leave her behind, and yet, one small peep out of her and he was as hard as an oak.

  Maybe he should have fucked her silly, then walked away, but that would have been selfish and stupid. Although he’d never claimed not to be either of those things, he hadn’t felt right about taking her body when he had decided to leave her.

  Eliza rolled over, her blanket dipping down to reveal one breast. She wore her not-quite-white chemise, the one he wanted to rip to pieces, but she wouldn’t let him. It wasn’t the ratty chemise that caught his attention though.

  It was the hard nipple beneath it.

  If there was one thing he couldn’t resist, it was Eliza’s tits. They were perfectly shaped, with raspberry nipples that drove him nearly insane. The right one was just visible above the edge of the blanket.

  He swallowed hard, instantly and completely so aroused he almost forgot he had cornpone in his mouth. After successfully getting the food down his gullet without choking, he licked his lips. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from that nipple.

  She moaned again, and Grady fisted his hands to keep from touching her. Obviously, he couldn’t keep his hands or his body from wanting her. He had to keep himself in check or risk the plan he’d already decided to follow. Yet there was no way in hell he could sleep with the tent pole in his trousers.

  That left him only one option.

  Grady didn’t want to think about what he was doing, so instead, he focused on relieving the arousal that had slammed into him. He unbuttoned his trousers and slid down to lean against the tree behind him.

  He opened his drawers to pull out his pulsing dick. His hand closed around his hardness and squeezed. He imagined it was Eliza’s hand instead of his own callused one. His gaze never left hers, watching her sleep, perhaps dreaming of him. She moaned again, and he responded, low and deep in his throat.

  Grady stroked the hardened flesh, squeezing the tip, then did it again. His other hand dug into the ground beside him, the loamy earth substituting for the perfectness of her breast. Her lips parted with a breathy sigh, and he sucked in a breath.

  As the fire crackled beside him, Grady quickened his pace, his hand moving faster, squeezing the base then the tip. His balls tightened, and he imagined plunging deep within her body, finding the perfect place where he belonged.

  As the orgasm swept over him, he didn’t close his eyes, but kept focus on Eliza, on the woman who owned him but didn’t know it. Pleasure mixed with sadness accompanied his release, and then it was over.

  His arousal quenched, Grady rose and used the canteen to wash himself. The cool water helped to finish the job his hand had completed. He buttoned up his trousers then took his bedroll from beside Eliza.

  Grady couldn’t look at her any longer. Not that he expected to become horny again, although he might, but because he was pulling away from her, again. He needed to regain control of himself, no matter what.

  As he laid the bedroll where his feet would be near hers, but he couldn’t see her, Grady refused to think about the fact it was the first night in weeks he hadn’t slept beside her.

  Sleep was a very long time coming.

  Eliza slept deeply and heard nothing until Grady’s voice yanked her out of a deep sleep.

  “Liz, for pity’s sake, get your ass up. The sun’s been up for half an hour.” He banged some loud items together, startling her into full wakefulness.

  She rose quickly, readying herself within ten minutes, only to find Grady had already saddled and loaded the horses. He sat on Bullseye with both sets of reins in his hands, the standard scowl marring his features. Eliza noted he had dark circles under his eyes, and his cheeks looked gaunt. There was obviously something bothering him, and she had a sinking feeling it was her presence.

  A bounty hunter was a lonely creature, due to the nature of his business. Eliza knew it was only a matter of time before he fell back fully into his habits as that solitary creature.

  She could only hope it was later rather than sooner, which was selfish of her for more than one reason.

  Using a rock, she mounted Cab, very conscious of the fact he’d not offered assistance. This was another bad sign.

  It took another hour before he spoke again. “We’re heading into a town named Montgomery later; likely, we can get a hotel room for the night.”

  She hated to admit that a bed, any bed, was more appealing than anything she could imagine. The hard ground, the cold nights, were all taking a toll on her body and her mind. It sounded positively indulgent.

  “I’ve not stayed in a hotel before. I must admit to being intrigued to do so.” She grinned at the top of Cab’s head. “Does that mean the horses also stay in guest facilities?”

  “I don’t even know what facilities are, but I’m sure there’ll be a livery for the horses.” He pointed toward some low rolling hills in the distance, dwarfed by the towering mountains further out. “Montgomery is in that valley up yonder. We’ll be there near dinner time.”

  Eliza didn’t want Grady to think her a fool for being excited about the hotel, not to mention a possible dinner in a restaurant she hoped to enjoy. She kept quiet while they rode, amazed to realize that being on top of the horse was now completely comfortable. Although riding for long periods of time made her numb, it no longer caused pain.

  She was thrilled with her horsemanship and rode with her shoulders thrown back and the wind in her hair. Eliza was free from the ghost of who she used to be.

  The town grew larger with each passing minute. When they rode through the outskirts, bruised-looking clouds filled the sky.

  “The sky’s gonna open up any minute. Let’s move a little faster, Liz.” He spurred his horse into action, and Eliza followed close behind.

  The scattering of houses and small buildings gave way to a moderately-sized town. There were wooden sidewalks, groups of people walking to and fro, a mercantile, a saloon called Dog’s Leg, a restaurant, and a hotel. A much different place than Black Rock, for which she was entirely grateful. Montgomery looked inviting and well-kept.

  Eliza nearly bounced on the saddle as they stopped in front of the restaurant, aptly named Ana’s Plate. It had blue gingham curtain
s in the windows and a set of chairs with a checkers set between them on a crate.

  “It looks wonderful.” She dismounted without hesitation and didn’t realize until her feet touched the ground that her anomalous dismount wasn’t so unique after all. She’d done it again.

  “You act like a kid on Christmas. It’s just a place to get some vittles.” Grady was his usual chipper self.

  “Well, I’m going to enjoy Montgomery and all it has to offer.” She took his arm, which a moment after they touched she realized was a big mistake. He was stiffer than the wood beneath her feet.

  “That ain’t a whole hell of a lot.” He didn’t pull away from her, but he didn’t seem to welcome her touch either. Something had happened after Black Rock, after her birthday when he had shown her true pleasure. It was as if he was deliberately putting the distance between them again and she had no idea why. She didn’t like it, nor did she welcome it. Eliza would do her best to stop his nefarious plan, even if it meant throwing herself into his arms.

  Of course, that would be what she wanted to do anyway. She’d had another dream of him last night, one where they had pleasured themselves in full view of each other. The dream had been incredibly erotic and had left her needing his touch even more. Then of course, he’d woken her rudely and had barely said three words to her all day.

  Grady was two people inside one. The trick would be finding the one who was gentle, considerate, and protective. It appeared the grumpy, mean, and taciturn side had control today. Eliza would find a way to reach the lighter side of him, no matter what the cost.

  They stepped into Ana’s Plate, and the scents of many different things washed over her. There were apples, cinnamon, fresh bread, and perhaps gravy or beef stew. She closed her eyes and reveled in the scents, most of which reminded her of home. The kitchen was the place she missed, as well as the satisfaction of making a wonderful meal. There were few things, other than her inventions, that Eliza took pride in, but cooking was one of them.