Hungry Mountain Man

by Charlize Starr

  I knew that Lesley was long gone by now, and wherever she wanted to go, her cab had already taken her there. I cursed under my breath. Why did I have to sleep in today? I should have known the previous night that there was something seriously wrong. Now she was gone and I had no idea if she was coming back. I felt like a part of me had gone missing.

  Chapter 15 - Lesley

  I was back at home. The sprawling kitchen table at Connor’s ranch was now replaced with a small square table in a cramped kitchen. My parents had been sitting with me all this while, asking me a million questions about where I had been and what kind of work I had to do. When I left for Texas, I had left them a note on the fridge saying that I had a new job opportunity that I wanted to pursue. Now I had returned empty-handed with three weeks of radio silence.

  All the explanation I could give them was that this exciting new job opportunity hadn’t worked out and that I would be resuming my work at the diner and gas station. Eventually, they ran out of patience and questions to ask. Thankfully, my dad hadn’t noticed the way I couldn’t look at him. I was ashamed for him and I was angry with myself. I didn’t want to think about how I had allowed myself to fall for the man who had caused my family’s bankruptcy.

  My dad was the last person I could blame. I’d seen the contract; I’d read the terms and conditions. All my dad wanted to do was provide for the family, to make more money so he could pay off the mortgage on our comfortable home. Connor had taken advantage of his desperation and his ignorance. Connor . . . the man who I thought I was falling in love with.

  Now, as I sat at the table, I replayed every moment I had spent with him over the past three weeks. Every morning when I walked with him to the stables, every dinner table conversation with Alfie and him, every night when we made love out under the trees. I was happy. I felt safe . . . I had foolishly thought that my life was finally headed in the right direction. But I was wrong. It was all pretend. I couldn’t even come up with a legitimate reason why he would begin a relationship with me. Was it guilt? Did he believe that giving me a job and sleeping with me would absolve him of all the evil things he had done to my family?

  I felt like I had wasted three weeks. Three weeks that I could have spent here in town, working two jobs and making money to help my family. I felt foolish for falling for Connor’s charms. I should have trusted his reputation of being a womanizer and a heartbreaker. What had made me think that he had suddenly changed for me? What made me think that I was special in any way?

  I sat at our small kitchen table, staring blankly at the wall. I didn’t even know how long I’d been sitting there . . . Until I heard our doorbell ring. My mom had opened the door and I could hear her voice . . . as well as Connor’s.

  Chapter 16 - Connor

  I hadn’t seen Lesley’s mom in at least eight years – since I moved out of my family home and they stopped being my neighbors. But she had recognized me immediately and greeted me warmly. When I asked to see Lesley, she was a little surprised, but she showed me into their kitchen anyway. I was a little relieved to find that Michael wasn’t around. I wasn’t sure how I would be able to face Lesley’s father after everything that had happened between us.

  Lesley was sitting at the kitchen table, and I realized that their apartment was even smaller than I had imagined it to be. Bankruptcy had reduced them to near-poverty and it was all my fault.

  Lesley’s green eyes glowed with fury when she saw me, but she said nothing. She just looked apologetically at her mom.

  “Can I make you two some coffee? We might have some cookies in the cupboard,” Mrs. Evans said, but Lesley interrupted her.

  “No, mom. he isn’t staying very long. Please, just give us a few minutes,” she said in an assertive tone. I didn’t have to look at Mrs. Evans to know that she was confused by the scene unfolding in front of her.

  As she left the kitchen, I stared at Lesley. Her physical presence had the same effect on me as it always did. I felt my muscles stiffen as I drank in the curves of her delicate shoulders. Her hands were clasped together on the kitchen table, her long brunette hair fell over her shoulders, and even though she had no makeup on, she still looked like the most beautiful woman I had ever set my eyes on.

  “Lesley, you left without an explanation,” I said, keeping my hands thrust deep in the pockets of my pants.

  “How is Alfie doing? How is school?” she asked instead of responding to my statement. We were staring into each other's eyes. Mine were dim while hers seemed to be on fire.

  “He misses you,” I replied and she blinked a few times, as though trying to gulp down the things she actually wanted to say.

  “I’m sure you’ll find another suitable nanny for him soon,” she said and I took a few steps towards the kitchen table. Lesley seemed to flinch and I stopped in my tracks.

  “We don’t want a different nanny. We don’t need a nanny. We need you, Lesley,” I said, holding her gaze. Lesley’s plump, luscious lips were set firmly in a line, and I couldn’t control my cock from throbbing in my pants, warning me. She said nothing, only kept her chin up and glared at me.

  “I know you saw the file . . . I found it in the cabinet, moved,” I finally said after too many moments of uncomfortable silence had passed between us.

  “Alfie threw it on the floor when he was looking for his homework,” Lesley said and I moved closer to her.

  “I know. I’m not blaming you for finding it. I just wanted you to know that I know why you left in such a hurry. And I don’t hold that against you,” I tried explaining, but Lesley had turned her face away from me.

  “Okay, now I know. So you can go,” she said and I clenched my jaws. She clearly didn’t want to talk to me. She clearly didn’t want to have anything to do with me. I pushed forward because I wanted to fight for her.

  “Lesley, I’m sorry that this ever happened,” I said and she jerked her face around to look at me. She had narrowed her eyes at me. I didn’t even know that she was capable of this kind of anger.

  “You led me to believe that you were giving me this job because you wanted to help me out – because you needed help with Alfie. The truth was that you just felt guilty!” she thundered and stood up from the chair abruptly. I followed her movements with my eyes, searching for the words to explain. I thought I’d come prepared with a speech, but now I couldn’t remember what it was.

  “It may have been that in the beginning, Lesley . . . I felt terrible for what had happened and what I’d done, but soon it turned into something else,” I said and she shook her head.

  “Yeah, it turned into a pity party. You thought that you could keep me distracted for long enough to forgive you if the truth ever came out. You thought that you could buy my forgiveness,” she cried and I rushed towards her. Lesley stepped back and I forced myself to keep my hands to myself even though I was itching to reach for her and pull her into my arms. I wanted to banish every bad feeling that she was feeling, especially because I knew that I was the cause for it.

  “I wasn’t pretending, if that is what you’re saying. Everything that happened between us was true and real,” I said and ran a hand through my hair. Lesley’s eyes were still on fire. Nothing I said was making that rage die down. She still hated me.

  “Then why didn’t you tell me the truth?” she asked. I had no other choice but to clamp my mouth shut. No woman had meant this much to me before, and I didn’t know how to fix this.

  “I wanted to . . . Lesley, please believe me when I say that I was going to. I was just afraid of losing you,” I said and she jerked her face away from me again. Her nostrils were flared, her shoulders heaving from the tension and her anger.

  “You were afraid that I would see you for who you really are,” she hissed. When she turned her face and our eyes met again, I finally saw myself through her eyes. She was seeing me as a selfish, arrogant, wealthy jerk . . . As the man who everyone knew me as. I shook my head and took in a deep breath.

  “I used to be that guy. I was
young and careless and believed that I could play with people’s lives without any consequences. I never forgave myself for what I did to your father and your family. It was why I moved out of our home, why I agreed to marry Natalia. I thought that if I settled down with a family, had a kid . . . that I could make up for my sins. And the Universe repaid me for what I’d done. I was stuck with a wife who wanted nothing more than my money. Who didn’t even care about our child. When she finally left, I thought that I had paid my dues. I moved to Texas with Alfie to stay away from the world I knew. I didn’t want to ever come back here because I couldn’t face my old self. But I’m glad that I did. It led me to you,” Lesley watched me as I spoke, but there was no change in her like I’d hoped there would be. She was right in not forgiving me. These were just words, empty promises and proclamations. My actions spoke for me, and now she knew me for the guy who I used to be. There was no coming back from that.

  “You’re right. You shouldn’t have come back here. You should have stayed away in Texas like you planned to. As for me . . . I wish I had never met you again,” she said. I thought I caught her lips trembling. I had to clench my hands. The more I looked at her, the deeper all my regrets became. The life I had been leading before I met Lesley was a lie.

  “I’m in love with you, Lesley . . . I don’t regret the last three weeks. I wish that I’d told you sooner so that you knew the truth, but I wouldn’t change what we had for anything in the world,” I said. Lesley crossed her arms over her breasts. It was like she was closing the door, indicating that this conversation was over and there was no way that I could convince her of anything else.

  “Well, it's easy for you to say that because you have nothing to lose. What have you lost? My family – my parents have lost everything. I’ve lost my chance of going to college, of having a career in law, which had been my passion. It’s despicable that you think a few weeks of living with you can change that,” she hissed. Now her anger was vicious, mingling with her cracked voice. If she had ever loved me, I knew that Lesley didn’t love me anymore.

  I nodded my head and hung my head down in shame and regret.

  “Yes, you’re right. I’ve taken everything from you, which is why I want to give it all back,” I said. When I looked at her, I saw that her brows were crossed and her eyes were narrowed at me. She didn’t know what I was saying, and I was only too happy to explain.

  Chapter 17 - Lesley

  Connor had just told me that he wanted to give everything back, and I had no idea what he could possibly mean by that.

  “I can see you look confused,” he said and I stared at him, trying to not think about how hot he looked. It was one thing to try and hate him when I couldn’t see him, but now that he was here, asking me for my forgiveness . . . It was more than just difficult to keep despising him. I couldn’t. He was just too handsome, too charming . . . and I could remember everything he had done to my body.

  “Lesley, I’ve asked the banks to transfer the funds back into your dad’s account,” he said and I squinted at him in confusion. How was that even possible?

  “What funds? What are you talking about?” I asked and sat down on the chair again with a thump.

  “The funds that he lost, his savings . . . I’ve transferred them back to him,” Connor said and I shook my head.

  “You had his money all along?” I asked. My heart was beginning to beat wildly in my chest. Connor took in a deep breath and then shook his head.

  “No. Not technically, but I gave him bad advice. I behaved recklessly with his money and it made me richer. So, in my eyes, I have the money that truly belongs to him,” Connor explained. I stared at him open-mouthed. His blue eyes looked dim and soft, his dirty blond shoulder length hair slicked back. He had taken some time with his appearance, unlike his usual self on the days at the ranch. He was in a buttoned up plaid shirt and clean dark jeans. His boots weren’t dusty today, either. Somewhere in my soul, I smiled a little at the thought that he had put in an effort to make a good impression on me. That had to mean something right?

  “We don’t need your charity, Connor,” I said instead. I couldn’t forgive him, no matter how much my body protested. The truth was still out there.

  “It’s not charity. I’m giving back what I owe your family. It should be in your dad’s account by the end of the day tomorrow once the bank has cleared my request. Please let him know that I’m very sorry and that I know I should have done it sooner. I just never had the guts to admit it to myself until I met you,” Connor said and stared down at his feet.

  I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t protest anymore. It stung my pride to accept such a huge amount of money from him, but I knew the difference it would make for my family. My dad would have his dignity back, and maybe things could get back to normal around here. Maybe I could even go to college!

  Connor looked up at me after a few moments of silence. I gulped because I was searching for the right words to say. I didn’t know whether to thank him or throw him out of the house.

  “I’m going to leave now, Lesley. I’m sorry to have troubled you. I should have known that bringing you into my life would have caused you nothing but heartache,” he said and my breasts began to heave. There was so much I wanted to say. I just couldn’t find the right words.

  “I will always love you and I will cherish these last three weeks we shared,” he said and pulled out a wrapped square box from the pocket of his jeans. I watched in silence as he placed the box down on the kitchen table and then stepped away from it.

  “I was meaning to give this to you, but you left and I didn’t have the chance. Take care of yourself, Lesley,” Connor said and before I could say anything, he had turned around and walked out of the kitchen.

  I didn’t follow him. I couldn’t. I knew what would happen if I did. I wouldn’t have been able to hold back all the emotions running through my veins.

  I heard the front door open and close and with shaking fingers, I reached for the box on the table. I slid open the ribbon and then hurriedly tore open the wrapping paper. A navy velvet jewelry box lay inside. With my breath caught in my throat, I opened the box slowly.

  I gasped and it nearly fell out of my hand as I stared at what was inside: a blindingly sparkling diamond ring with sapphires running down the band of the ring. I held it up, staring straight into its shimmering facets and then I slipped it onto my left ring finger. It fit perfectly. How had he known my ring size? How did he know which ring I would like?

  I yanked it off my finger, placed it back in the box, and snapped it shut. I didn’t know what this ring could possibly mean and I didn’t want to think about it. This could drive me crazy . . . I didn’t want to trust him anymore. Not after everything that had happened.

  “What did Connor Marshall want with you, honey?” my mom’s voice cut through my thoughts. She was standing at the kitchen door, looking worried as she stared at me. I tried slipping the box discreetly from the table and on to my lap. I forced a smile on my face and looked at her kindly.

  “Everything is going to be all right, mom. Maybe you should call dad and ask him to come home. I have something to say to you both,” I said to her. Our lives were about to change, and I couldn’t wait to tell them.

  Chapter 18 – Connor

  3 Months Later

  ***

  Nothing had changed on the ranch. Chris, Tony and I continued to work away with the horses, and Alfie continued going to school. I dabbled with the idea of hiring a new nanny for him, but he had been in a bad mood ever since Lesley left. I couldn’t get him to eat his vegetables or fruit, wash his hands before dinner, or help him finish his homework in time. He was going to turn eight in a few months and I already knew that I needed to come up with a plan to help him live the life he deserved. It was just that I’d run out of ideas.

  Chris had taken him to school that morning and picked him up as well. I still had a few more hours of work remaining to do and, according to Chris; Alfie had slumped down on the cou
ch in front of the TV and refused to get started on his homework. I knew I needed to discipline him, and I had no idea how Lesley had managed to do it.

  I missed her. I missed her every day. It had been three months since I’d last met her or spoken to her, and even though I thought about her constantly, my only hope was that she was happy. I hoped that she’d finally gone to law school and lived the life she always wanted to live. I was nothing more than a rancher, with a seven-year-old disobedient son and nothing more to give her. She was wise to stay away from me. She was better off without us.

  We led the horses back into the stables and shut down for the day. With Lesley and her delicious dinners gone, Chris and Tony had started to drive down to the local diner for their meals. I was walking back towards the house, trying to come up with something creative to cook for Alfie and myself for a change.

  When I walked into the house, I was initially surprised by the lack of the TV sounds. Alfie usually always had his cartoons on loud around this time, but the house was silent. As I rubbed the soles of my boots on the mat at the door, I got the first whiff of casserole. With my brows crinkled, I charged into the house. I thought I was going crazy. I thought I was imagining things, but the scent lingered and I followed it into the kitchen.

  I saw her right away: Lesley in a beautiful floral dress, the apron tied around her waist. She was bent in front of the oven, sliding a casserole out, with oven mitts on her hands. She and Alfie looked at me together. He was sitting at the kitchen table, his homework spread out around him.

  “Daddy! Lesley’s back!” he squealed and jumped off his chair to come running to me. I couldn’t even lift him up in my arms. I didn’t know what to say to him or to Lesley, who was now placing the casserole on the kitchen table. Her long brunette hair was tied up in a messy bun, some stray strands falling around her face delicately. Her green eyes were sparkling with excitement. Her breasts were as firm and juicy as I remembered them, stretching her dress. I studied her closely, staring at her like she was a ghost in a dream. Then my eyes fell on the ring on her finger. She was wearing my ring.