Christmas Caramel Murder

by Joanne Fluke

  “It’s a madhouse out there,” Lisa said. “I’m just lucky I got here when I did.” She noticed Bonnie on the stool next to Hannah and gave a little wave. “Hi, Bonnie.”

  “Hi, Lisa. What’s wrong out there? Are people driving badly?” Bonnie asked, moving over one stool so that Lisa could sit next to Hannah.

  Lisa shook her head. “No, it’s not that. The drive out was fine, but everyone must have decided to come out here for a hamburger at the same time tonight. There were four cars behind me when I pulled into the parking lot, and I got the last empty spot.”

  Lisa slid onto the stool and ordered a hot lemonade. It had just arrived when the waitress tapped Hannah on the shoulder to say that their table was ready.

  “Do you want to sit with us, Bonnie?” Hannah asked.

  “Thanks for the offer, but Trudi should be here any minute now. I’ll just stay here and wait for her. I don’t want to go in the dining room quite yet. Tory is still holding court with the actors.”

  Lisa waited until they got to the doorway to the dining room, and then she leaned close to Hannah. “Is Herb here?”

  “No.”

  “Good! At least I think it’s good. How about Phyllis?”

  “No.” Hannah saw the expression on Lisa’s face and hurried to reassure her. “But just because neither one of them is here doesn’t mean that they’re together.”

  “True. And I’m too hungry to worry about it right now.” Lisa took a seat at the table the waitress had indicated and picked up the menu. “I don’t really need this. I know exactly what I want. I’ve been thinking about it for almost an hour now.”

  Their waitress had carried in their drinks from the bar and she set them on cocktail napkins. “How do you like our new napkins?”

  Hannah lifted her drink and saw that the napkin had a picture of a bear on it. “Is that Albert?” she asked, referring to the stuffed grizzly bear that guarded the entrance to the dining room.

  “Yes, it’s Albert. The boss hired a photographer to take the picture and had the napkins printed. Everybody loves Albert.” The waitress pulled an order book from her apron pocket and turned to Lisa. “I can take your order right now, if you want.”

  “I want.” Lisa gave a little laugh. “I’ll have a double cheeseburger with a side order of onion rings and three pickles.”

  “Mustard or ketchup for your burger?”

  “Both, please. And a bowl of bleu cheese dressing.”

  “You want a small green salad, too?” the waitress asked Lisa.

  “No. I just like to dip my onion rings in the dressing.” Lisa grinned at Hannah. “I got it from her. That’s what Hannah does with her French fries.”

  “It sounds good. I’ll have to try it sometime.” The waitress turned to Hannah. “And what can I get for you?”

  “Exactly the same thing, but I want French fries instead of onion rings. And just put a little extra dressing in that bowl for me.”

  The waitress laughed. “You can have your own bowl of dressing. It’s not like I wash the dishes around here.”

  Hannah waited until their waitress had left, and then she leaned forward. “Well? Did you do it?”

  “Do what?”

  “You know what I mean.”

  Lisa nodded. “Yes. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help it.”

  “I figured you would. And we are talking about the same thing, aren’t we?”

  Lisa laughed. “I think so. You wanted to know if I drove past her apartment . . . right?”

  “Right. Did you learn anything?”

  “Only that her apartment was dark and her car was gone.”

  “How about Herb’s office?”

  “The lights were off, his cruiser was in the lot, and Herb’s car wasn’t there.” Lisa reached for the small bowl of pickled vegetables that was sitting on their table. “I love these pickles.”

  “Me, too.”

  Hannah thought about the custom that the Corner Tavern had followed since their opening day. After the busboy cleared a table and reset it for the next diners, he dished up a small bowl of pickled vegetables and put it in the center of the table. It was a fresh bowl every time and, in the beginning, the original owner’s wife, Nona’s predecessor, had pickled all the vegetables herself.

  “I love this pickled cauliflower,” Lisa said, crunching down on the vegetarian treat.

  “And I love these.” Hannah reached for a green string bean and bit off half. “Did you know that my great-grandmother used to call pickled vegetables digestives?”

  “No. Are digestives something that helps you digest food?”

  “Supposedly. Of course in the United Kingdom, they have digestive biscuits to take care of that. The first digestives were a sweet meal biscuit. They were meant to get the digestive juices flowing and make it easier for the body to process the rest of the meal.”

  “Believe me, my digestive juices are flowing!” Lisa smacked her lips. “These are really good. Can I have the last piece of cauliflower?”

  “Knock yourself out. I’m enjoying the green beans and the button mushrooms.”

  For a few more moments the conversation consisted solely of crunching and chewing. Then Lisa looked down at the empty bowl. “Good heavens! We even ate the pickled carrots. And I don’t like the pickled carrots!”

  Their waitress overheard Lisa’s comment and came over to take the empty bowl. “You two must really be hungry. I’ve been working here for over ten years and I’ve never seen an empty relish bowl. Nobody ever eats the carrots.”

  “Then why are they there?” Lisa asked her.

  “Search me!”

  “They’re probably for color,” Hannah offered an explanation. “Without them, the bowl would consist of green, white, and tan. That’s not as eye-catching as a mixture with orange in it.”

  “You’ve got a point there,” the waitress complimented Hannah. “Too bad they don’t pickle those little red cherry tomatoes. They’d be really pretty.”

  Hannah thought about that for a moment. “You’re right. And I wonder if you could pickle them. I think I’ll give it a try.”

  “They’d be good in salads, too,” the waitress said.

  “And you could use them to decorate a bowl of coleslaw, or potato salad,” Lisa suggested.

  The waitress reached into her pocket and pulled out an electronic device. “Your food’s up,” she told them once she’d glanced at the display. “I’ll go get it, and then you can eat something besides pickles.”

  * * *

  “I’m positively stuffed!” Lisa remarked, as they got into their parkas and put on gloves and hats.

  “Me, too. Maybe we shouldn’t have had that Chocolate Coffee Cake for dessert.”

  “Or maybe we shouldn’t have split that second order of French fries,” Lisa added.

  For once, the wind wasn’t blowing as they went out the door, and the night was clear and icy cold. Both Hannah and Lisa shivered as they walked into the parking lot.

  “Where did you park, Hannah?”

  “I’m way in the back of the lot by the ditch.”

  “I’m back there, too. Let’s walk over on the side, where there’s fresh snow. It’s not as slippery there.”

  The walking was easier once they’d moved to the side of the lot and they could avoid the deep ruts that the cars had made driving in and out. Hannah and Lisa had arrived at the back row when Hannah spotted something at the edge of the ditch.

  “Wait up a second, Lisa,” Hannah said. “Someone dropped something red in the snow and I want to see what it is.”

  “I see it. It looks like cloth.”

  “It’s probably nothing but a mitten or a scarf, but whoever lost it might want it back.”

  “I can go with you.”

  “Better not. It’s outside the plowed area and the snow’s deep out there. It could go right over your ankle boots.”

  Hannah waded into the area that hadn’t been plowed, heading straight toward the red object. As she
got closer, she could see that Lisa had been right. It was something made of red cloth.

  “It’s a Santa hat!” Hannah called out to Lisa. “And there’s something else here, too. Hold on and I’ll see what it is.”

  As she waded even farther into the ditch, Hannah began to feel increasingly anxious. The anxious, uneasy feeling had nothing to do with the cold or the snow. There was something wrong, very wrong.

  Hannah’s first instinct was to turn around and retrace her steps up the side of the ditch and into the bright lights and safe haven of the parking lot. But she couldn’t seem to turn around without knowing what had given her that anxious, uneasy feeling, and her need to know pulled her even deeper into the ditch.

  The moon cast a cold, blue light over the surface of the snow. There were icicles with their sharp, lethal points hanging from the stark black branches of the trees. Hannah shuddered. She’d always felt menaced whenever she had to pass under icicles, but the trees with their glittering daggers dotted the sides of the ditch. There was no other path she could take to get to the second object she’d seen.

  As she neared the bottom of the ditch, her heart was racing and Hannah was breathing in painful gasps. This wasn’t from the exertion of wading through deep snow. It was fear of something she had yet to discover.

  Her boot hit something beneath the snow, and Hannah barely managed to maintain her balance. She reached down to uncover the object that had tripped her, and her gloved fingers drew it out of the snow. She stood there staring for a moment, puzzled by the sight of one of the reusable lunch bags that Lisa had given to Herb for Christmas. Each lunch bag was a different color, and they all had Herb’s name embroidered on the side in bold black letters.

  There was something inside the bag, and Hannah made sure the contents didn’t fall out as she flipped it over so that she could see the other side. A chill ran through her. The lunch bag was definitely Herb’s. She could read his name quite clearly in the cold, blue moonlight. But why was Herb’s lunch bag buried in the snow near the bottom of the ditch?

  A possible explanation occurred to Hannah. Herb could have disliked the lunch that Lisa had packed for him and, quite literally, ditched it before he’d gone inside to eat lunch. This was possible, but very unlikely. Herb told everyone who would listen about the wonderful lunches his wife made for him and how much he enjoyed them. And even if he hadn’t felt like eating this particular day’s lunch and had thrown it out, Herb would have kept the lunch bag to take home to Lisa.

  Her curiosity aroused, Hannah opened the lunch bag and peeked inside. There was no sandwich, or fruit, or cookies. The only thing left in the bag was homemade candy wrapped in waxed paper. Lisa’s caramels. And Herb had told Lisa that he loved them. Why had he eaten part of his lunch and then thrown away his personalized lunch bag containing Lisa’s caramels?

  Hannah’s mind was working on this new puzzle when she spotted something else only a few feet away. As she stared at the bulky, snow-covered mound, the anxious, uneasy feeling in her stomach began to intensify. She thrust the lunch bag in the pocket of her parka. She’d dispose of it later. There was no way she was going to let Lisa see what had happened to her caramels. Lisa would be devastated by the fact that Herb had lied to her by saying he liked her caramels and then throwing them away.

  As Hannah stepped toward the mound in the snow, she had a very unwelcome thought. It was human-sized. “No!” she gasped as an awful suspicion took root in her mind. “It can’t be!” she exclaimed, aloud.

  “Hannah? Are you all right?” Lisa’s voice floated down to her from above.

  “I’m okay. I’m just . . .” Hannah thought fast. There was no way she was going to alarm Lisa before she found out what was in that mound of snow. “I’m just winded and I have to catch my breath. The snow is really deep down here.”

  Hannah was amazed at how strong and steady her voice was. Perhaps she should join the Lake Eden Players. It seemed as if she could act, since she felt just the opposite of strong and steady. “I’m just going to check out one more thing while I’m down here, and then I’ll climb back up.”

  As she approached the hump of snow, Hannah realized that the anxious feeling in her stomach was what Mike had called her slaydar, her uncanny penchant for finding murder victims. Please let it be wrong this time, Hannah’s mind begged, but that sick, sinking feeling grew with each step she took toward the snow-covered mound.

  “Please not Herb!” she whispered as she brushed off a layer of snow with her gloves. She swept another layer to the side, and then another, until she had uncovered a cold, dead body that made her give an audible gasp of shock.

  “What did you find, Hannah?” Lisa called out from the top of the ditch.

  Hannah swallowed hard, and somehow she managed to form the words she needed to say. “Call Mike!”

  “Mike? You mean . . . oh, no!”

  “Yes!” Hannah answered, and then she swallowed again. “Tell him to get out here right away!”

  “I will. Right now. Are you all right?”

  “Yes. Hurry, Lisa. Tell him I’ll stay where I am until he gets here.”

  Hannah listened as Lisa made the call. Her words were succinct and she sounded in control. Hannah was very grateful that Lisa had pulled herself together. The ditch was deep, and even though she had her cell phone with her, she might not have been able to get reception down there.

  “He said to hang on, he’ll be right there. Who . . .” Lisa stopped in mid-question and gave a little sob. “Who is it, Hannah?”

  “Phyllis. Phyllis Bates.”

  “Is she . . . uh . . . is she . . . dead?”

  Hannah glanced down at the cold, motionless body that had been very alive in a sexy Mrs. Santa costume not even two hours ago. Her eyes swept up to the damage that had been done to Phyllis’s head, and she swallowed hard again. “Yes, Lisa. Phyllis is dead.”

  Chapter Four

  When Hannah unlocked the door to her condo, she stepped back three paces and braced herself. Then she leaned forward, pushed open the door, and waited for the feline missile that was about to launch itself in her direction. She waited . . . and waited . . . and then the orange-and-white missile hurtled into her arms.

  “Moishe! Where were you?” Hannah asked, carrying her cat in to place him in his favorite spot on the top of the couch.

  “Sorry,” her sister Michelle said, rushing out of the guest bedroom. “I was just showing Moishe his new cat toy, and we didn’t hear you unlock the door.”

  “Michelle!” Hannah greeted her youngest sister with a big hug. “How did you get here?”

  Michelle laughed. “If you’d checked your text messages, you’d know. Mother picked me up at the bus station and dropped me off here two hours ago. I hope you don’t mind that I used the key you gave me and came inside.”

  “Why should I mind? That’s why I gave you that key in the first place.” Hannah knew she probably looked a little crazy, but she couldn’t seem to stop smiling. Seeing Michelle making herself at home in the condo was like basking in the sunshine. “I’m so glad you’re here!”

  “Uh-oh, this sounds like trouble!” Michelle said, hurrying to the kitchen to take the glass of white wine she’d poured in preparation for Hannah’s return from the top shelf in the refrigerator. “Sit down, kick off your boots, and tell me all about it.”

  Hannah peeled off her parka, kicked off her boots on the rug by the door, and took a seat on her old couch. “Just for starters, Phyllis Bates is dead.”

  “Mayor Bascomb’s new squeeze?”

  Hannah nodded. “That’s right. I found her in the ditch behind the Corner Tavern parking lot.”

  “Murdered?”

  “Oh, yes. As far as I know, people don’t usually bash in their own heads as a preferred method of suicide.”

  It was clear that Michelle was attempting to control herself, but it didn’t work. She laughed. “That’s what I love about you, Hannah. You don’t mince words.”

  “Well . .
. perhaps that was a bit insensitive, but it’s true.”

  “Yes, it’s insensitive, but it was funny. And you found her?”

  “Who else?” Hannah removed the plastic wrap from the top of the wineglass and took a sip. “I have slaydar, remember?”

  “How could I forget? Mike says that all the time. Is he coming over tonight to take your statement?”

  “That’s what he said. Do I have any food in the house?”

  “You do now. I brought some groceries with me on the bus, and I can make supper. The only thing I forgot was the Thousand Island dressing, but I guess I could get along without it.”

  “You don’t have to get along without it.”

  Michelle smiled. “Great! Do you have some in the refrigerator?”

  “No, but I have everything you need to make it. All it is is mayonnaise mixed with ketchup and sweet pickle relish.”

  “How much?”

  “Just mix it to taste. It’ll be exactly the same as the bottled dressing. What are you planning to make?”

  “Grilled Ham and Double Cheese Sandwiches.”

  “That sounds like a really good sandwich!”

  “It is. I made them for my housemates last night, and they said they loved them.”

  Hannah smiled. “I’m sure they did. You’re a good cook, Michelle.”

  “Thanks. I’ll make two for Mike and one for me. Do you want me to make one for you?”

  “I’d love to try one, but I already ate a double cheeseburger, an order and a half of fries with bleu cheese dressing, and a slice of Chocolate Coffee Cake.”

  “Will you at least taste a corner of mine?”

  “Of course I will. What kind of bread do you use?”

  “Rye. There’s a bakery near us, and they make really good breads.”

  “It sounds wonderful, and I almost wish I hadn’t eaten. But I was really hungry.”

  “It only takes a few minutes to make them, so I won’t start until Mike gets here. I’m experimenting with quick meals. One of my roommates is getting married right after graduation, and I want to give her a whole folder of easy, quick suppers. Her boyfriend’s a teacher, and that’s what she’ll be when she graduates.”