Pleasure Cruise

by Michelle M. Pillow

  Clare opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted.

  “May I help you?” Both women turned down to the little troll. He glared up at them. “You can’t just stand here, you must buy.”

  “Sure.” Clare tried to keep a straight face.

  Kira grabbed a lace-up leather thong with a matching string bra off the rack and thrust it at Clare. “Trust me. This is just the one to make him wild.” She fingered another article of clothing and her eyes lit up. “Oh, pleather! I think pleather should be a prerequisite for women’s wardrobes everywhere. I mean, you can wear it, sweat and it doesn’t smell or cling to you like leather and, as if that wasn’t enough, you can sort of wash it. I’m forgetting the most important selling point of it. It’s economical. I should really buy more pleather!”

  “Somehow I don’t think that will be a difficult goal for you to live up to.”

  “Hey, no need to be snippy. Maybe if you wore more pleather, your panties wouldn’t be in a bunch all the time. Oh, wait…I forgot that you’re not wearing any.”

  Clare paled considerably.

  “Hum.” The troll leaned forward to smell Clare, causing her to flinch. “Lycan, huh?”

  “Ah…?” Clare looked at Kira, feeling helpless.

  The troll sniffed Kira, “Ah, vampire.” Reaching forward to the rack, the troll picked out several outfits and handed them to the women. “You’ll take these.”

  Kira smirked and made a face at Clare. “I guess we’ll take these! Most are duplicates for me, but a hell of a new look for you! Do you think I should get them a size bigger? How long is it before you show? With a big ol’ pregnant belly, I mean?”

  “Not the ‘I’m pregnant’ bit again. I was with you when you got your last shots. Nice try. Come up with a better joke and I’ll promise to laugh. You pregnant by a vampire isn’t funny at all. You don’t know the first thing about babies. I’d have to tell you which end was up.”

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence and for just volunteering to be my new nanny. I’ll have you know that I can read and will buy every baby book out there.”

  “Oh, the kid is screwed already. Don’t worry, baby, Auntie Clare will help out.”

  Kira rolled her eyes and headed toward a wall of T-shirts. “These look more your speed, Auntie Clare.”

  “Ha, ha.”

  “You’re out of luck. They don’t seem to have any T-shirts with the phrase ‘I went on vacation and finally got laid.’ I could see if troll boy could hook us up with one.”

  “Um, I think the troll thing is a girl. But while you’re at it, see if they have a coffee mug that reads ‘all I got out of my vacation was a dead husband and knocked up’.”

  “Don’t make me strangle you with an extra-large T-shirt. I’d hate to actually have to the buy one of those hideous things—but I will.”

  Clare frowned. “I kind of like them.”

  “You so would.”

  After picking up some jeans and ridiculous vacation T-shirts from the store’s limited non-lingerie section, Clare and Kira checked out. As Kira paid, Clare grabbed a brochure about the cruise ship and began flipping through it. She was suddenly happy to have been shanghaied into coming along. The thought of almost missing out on Dominik pulled at her gut. The need to hug Kira for forcing her into compliance was great and she couldn’t help but drape an arm around her best friend quickly, giving a tight squeeze, before concentrating on the brochure again.

  Walking down the hall that led back to their room, Clare mumbled, “It says here they teach ballroom dancing from beginning to advanced. Cha-cha, tango, waltz…”

  “That could be fun,” Kira said. “Though I don’t know how much time I want to spend…ah, joining the group activities. I think I want to relax with my new husband. This is a great honeymoon, don’t you think? I wonder what he’ll want to do tonight?”

  “My guess is that he’ll want to spend time doing husband and wife activities? Isn’t bingo one of those things?” Clare teased.

  “Nope. Horizontal hula.”

  “Right,” Clare drawled. “I still can’t believe you married a vampire. No one back home will believe it either.”

  “Do you think…” Kira began. Her eyes turned sad and Clare knew exactly what Kira was thinking about—the death of her parents. She would not let Kira feel guilty for finding happiness with the most unlikely of men.

  “No,” Clare’s voice was firm. “Those vampires who killed your parents were not Braden. They were renegades and they were staked long ago. I’ve seen the look on your face all morning. Your parents would be pleased that you finally found happiness and love. Don’t you ever doubt it.”

  Kira nodded but said nothing. She wiped her cheeks and took a deep breath before smiling. She looked around and then toward Clare. “Hey, does this hallway look different to you?”

  Clare glanced up from the brochure and adjusted the bags on her arm. “I’m sure this is the way we came. See, there’s 2b.”

  “Yeah, but I could have sworn the carpet was red, not blue,” Kira said.

  “Oh, well, here,” Clare answered, reading her brochure. “It says here that the ship is mystical and changes at random. It must mean the decorations. Cool. I’ve got my fingers crossed that those ugly cherubs are gone from my room now.”

  “I like the cherubs.”

  “You would.”

  “Are you sure we’re not lost?”

  “No, it says here that the boat is mystical. I’m sure that’s what it means.”

  Kira nodded, remembering Braden saying something about the ship changing to give them privacy even when outside.

  “I wish I had this for my apartment,” Clare said. “Only instead of changing color, I’d want it to change from dirty to clean.”

  “What? And confuse the roaches?” Kira teased.

  “Ew! I don’t have roaches.”

  “Might as well, your tiny apartment is sad enough. It sits above the world’s most disgusting pancake house. I swear, each time I use your bathroom I smell waffles. You really should move out. You deserve better and can well afford it.”

  “It’s rent-controlled,” Clare said, as if that explained everything. She turned back to the brochure. “Hey, we can swim with sharks and giant rays.”

  “Lovely idea, Clare. Sign me up for a lobotomy while you’re at it. I still have a few too many brain cells.”

  “You’d never know it. You don’t use them,” Clare quipped, reading further. “It says you’re lowered into the water in a large cage.”

  “Great, I can hear it now. Here, fishy, fishy, fishy, come get your dinner—a cage full of stupid humans.” Kira snorted with laughter. Pushing the door to her suite open, she stepped in. The room was the same only the main color was blue, not red.

  “Ha, ha, ha, you are too funny,” Clare stated dryly before giggling.

  “That’s odd,” Kira said, sounding a bit perplexed. “Braden’s gone.”

  Clare followed her inside the room, still reading. Absently, she said, “Maybe he went for a swim. It says here they have five pools and, eww, one of them is filled with slime. I’m sure that it has some sort of exfoliating quality but I think I’ll pass. Are you listening to me? Stop worrying about him. He’s most likely out for a walk or something.”

  “He’s a vampire and it’s broad daylight.” Kira crossed over to the bathroom door and looked in. All her things were missing from the counter. She frowned. Walking to the dresser, she pulled it open. Her clothes were gone.

  “Maybe he wants a bit of crispiness to his pallor,” Clare teased.

  “Hey,” Kira said, obviously not listening. “What happened to my clothes?”

  Clare laughed, crossing over to the door adjoining their rooms. “Serves you right. Not so funny when they do it to you, huh?”

  “Clare,” Kira said, worried. She reached into the dresser.

  “Maybe Braden’s with Dominik,” she offered.

  “No, Clare, look.” Clare turned just as she pushed open the d
oor. Kira stood at the dresser, holding a black lace negligee that had room for four arms and three breasts. “This isn’t mine.”

  Clare heard a grunt and a snort. Turning, she looked into her room. A thick mass of grayish-purple lay there, gyrating. Tiny animal noises emanated from the enormous beast. It took Clare a minute to realize that it wasn’t just one creature lying on the bed, it was two! And they were having sex, or something that could pass as sex!

  A purple tentacle shot out across the cabin and tried to go up and under Clare’s skirt. She screamed as she watched the repulsive creature pump the full length of itself into the grey blob below it. It was an Octopynanton Demon, she was sure of it. Her stomach lurched when she thought back to high school demonology class where she’d learned about Octopynantons and their mating rituals. They had a habit of stealing human females and turning them into like creatures with their semen secretions. By the looks of the grey blob under it, it wasn’t a pretty way to go.

  Another tentacle leapt forth to probe beneath her miniskirt. It hit closer to home than Clare would have liked. She jerked back, kicking out at it. She hastened through the door and slammed it shut. “Run!”

  She and Kira automatically ran for the door leading to the hall. Opening it, they came face-to-face with the three-breasted, unearthly creature who undoubtedly owned the bizarre negligee they’d found. Kira screamed, prompting Clare to do the same. The creature leered at them and smacked her lips. It reached a clawed hand out and caught Kira by the arm. Clare dove forward and thrust her body into the creature’s center. It toppled backward and Kira was freed.

  The side door burst open and the Octopynantons from the other room poured through. A band of eyeballs circled the large purplish male’s head. Each one moved independent of the others and all seemed to be ogling them in one form or another. Given no choice, Clare ran to the bathroom, followed closely by Kira.

  Kira slammed the door shut and flipped the lock. “Help me,” Kira ordered. Together they moved a large towel cabinet before the door. “What in the hell were they?”

  “I’m not sure! I think two were Octopynanton Demons, but the rest are anyone’s guess! I’m not going back out to ask them, so let’s just go with nasty and unfriendly.” Clare heaved for breath, frightened.

  “Well, look in your damned brochure!” Kira yelled. “What are they doing in my room?”

  “I’m looking!” Clare growled. She searched through her bag for the brochure. “It’s not like I’m the one who booked this hell cruise in the first place!”

  “I didn’t hear you complaining when we were shopping for sexy garments to please your new fuck buddy!”

  “Dominik is not my new fuck buddy! I can’t believe that I let you talk me into this. I can’t believe that I’m having this conversation with you when creepy funky things are trying to eat us! Didn’t you read the fine print before you signed us up for this?”

  “Hey, I told you back in the store what was going on here!” Kira yelled. Clare only heard about half of what she said. “The mess-up isn’t my fault! This cruise is a matchmaking…whatever…set up by the elders so that supernatural creatures wouldn’t have to spend eternity alone. So you were meant to be with Dominik.”

  “Right!” Clare yelled. “The supernatural elders wanted me to get it on with a lycan because he was horny. You fucked up and you just don’t want to admit it!”

  “That’s not what I said—” Kira began. Something large smacked against the door, followed closely by the distinct sound of oozing. “Hey, could you just yell at me later, Clare? We can’t all be perfect with the paperwork like you. Right now, let’s just figure out how to get out of here.”

  “The window!” Clare said, running for it. They pushed it open. “Look, there’s a deck down below. I think I can lower myself down.”

  Clare climbed through with Kira’s help, intent on reaching the deck. Just as she had her miniskirted ass dangling over the edge, she heard a masculine moan. “Oh, my gawd! Kira! What is it? Quick, look!”

  Kira leaned over her back. “It’s that creepy porter. I think he wants to catch you. And his mouth is open!”

  “Ah, oh my gawd, pull me up! Pull me up! Pull me up now!” Clare demanded, kicking and screaming in horror.

  “Why is he smiling like that?” Kira tried to yank her friend back into the bathroom.

  Clare gasped. “Because I don’t have on underwear, remember?”

  The porter looked disappointed as Clare was dragged back inside. Kira looked as if she wanted to laugh, but Clare was thankful she had the good sense not to. Their situation was too dire.

  “That won’t work.” Clare tried to catch her breath. “Any other suggestions?”

  “What does the brochure say?” Kira looked wary as she eyed the bathroom door. “What do you think they’ll do to us if they get in?”

  “I told you, I don’t even know what they are.” Clare flipped frantically through the brochure and stopped. “Didn’t you listen to anything at orientation?”

  “No, I was…distracted,” Kira had the good grace to blush. She came to sit by Clare, reading over her shoulder. “You?”

  “No, I was being fought over by two lycans.”

  “Good thing the right lycan won.”

  “Yeah,” Clare grinned, looking completely girly. “I really like him. He’s…sweet, but not sweet. Do you know what I mean?”

  “I understand completely.” Kira looked around and laughed. “Hey, look at the tub. At least they’re not cherubs.”

  Clare glance over, laughing slightly to see horrific snakelike creatures wrapping around the faucet. “Mmm, that’s much more romantic. Although I do prefer serpents to little flying babies.”

  “Yeah, Dominik’s serpent,” Kira teased. Suddenly, the doorknob rattled and a loud knocking sounded. Kira jumped and began digging through her purse, looking for a weapon. Pulling out her Super-Stimulator 9000, she wielded it like a sword.

  Clare looked at her friend and fought hard to hold in her laughter. Now wasn’t the time for it. No, now they needed to make a break for it. Clare nodded and took a step toward the door. She shoved the towel cabinet out of the way and flipped the lock. Kira moved in close by her side. The knob twisted and the door burst open.

  In a flash, Kira struck, coming in direct contact with her target. Clare screamed and kicked, attempting to hit anything.

  “Ouch! Stop that!” Dominik yelled.

  Clare stopped in mid-kick and lost her balance. Dominik’s strong arms wrapped around her and kept her from cracking her head on the marble tub. She looked up into his eyes and relief washed over her. Clutching to his neck, she sprinkled grateful kisses along his cheek.

  “Mmm, this is much better than being flogged by a vibrator. Although the thought of flogging you with it is piquing my interest.” He laughed lightly. Clare pulled back, knowing her cheeks had to be bright red. His grin widened, confirming it.

  “Kira?” Braden asked, panicked, as he barged through the door, gathering Kira into his arms. He held her close before inspecting her for injury. “I woke and you weren’t there. I felt your fear. Please don’t ever wander off on the boat again without telling me where you’re going. I would not survive if anything happened to you.”

  Clare glanced at her friend and couldn’t help but smile when she saw the look of love on her face. Feeling faint, she let Dominik lift her into his arms. Without a backward glance, he carried her from the bathroom.

  Chapter Seven

  Kira wrapped her arms tighter around Braden as he carried her into their cabin. Her shopping bags hit along his back in even thumps. He’d barely spoken a word since he’d found her huddled in the bathroom with Clare. He had lectured her about the folly of scaring him, then snatched her up and stormed off with her. The strange creatures were nowhere to be seen. Kira grinned, hugging tighter to her big, strong man.

  It felt good to be in his protective arms, knowing that she was desired. He lifted her higher and put her face closer to his. His b
lue eyes swirled with a dangerous fire that left her shivering. Weakly, she gasped, “Braden?”

  “Never wander off like that again.” His tone was stern.

  “You already said that.”

  “Well, it is good to know that you were listening to me. Do I have your word that you’ll not do that again—ever?”

  “I didn’t…I mean we didn’t. We came straight back to our room only it wasn’t our room anymore.” Kira hugged herself tight against him, trembling against his hold. Braden lowered her to the cabin floor.

  “Didn’t you hear the horn?” Braden frowned. His eyes still glittered with his emotions and she realized he was scared.

  “What horn?”

  “Signifying the boat change,” Braden sighed in exasperation.

  “Is that what that was?” Kira ran her hands over his body, letting them glide aimlessly. “I didn’t know. I just thought it was some time to change the deck hands sort of thing.”

  “Didn’t you listen at orientation?” A small smile came to his pale features.

  “No,” she admitted. “I was thinking of other things.”

  A manly brow lifted ever so slightly. “Like what?”

  “Like what I wanted to do to you.” She slowly stripped off her clothes. Her dress slid from her shoulders, baring the leather corset she’d kept on when shopping with Clare. Her breasts were bare, jutting above the black leather in wicked invitation. As the dress slid over her hips, Braden’s eyes lit with a different emotion—pure, primitive lust. “And what I want you to do to me.”

  Kira slowly backed up before turning to crawl on top of the bed. Staying on all fours, she wiggled her ass in invitation, parting her legs. She whipped her hair over her shoulder to look at him, watch him.

  Braden slowly stripped off his clothing, first the black silk, then his tight leather pants. His cock rose proudly from his hips, pulsing and strong. She loved his cock, wanted it in her. He pumped his fingers over it in long, hard strokes. Kira wiggled her ass again and she moaned at the erotic sight of him touching himself.