by Heath Pfaff
Malice gave a squeeze in return, then got up from my bed and left the room. I sat in the darkness thinking for a long time. The damage to my face and the incident between Wisp and me were of little real concern. Instead, I worried about Silent, fretted over Kye, and considered Malice's words. Kye seemed to believe in the cause she was giving her life to. That made me want to believe in it as well, but every time I thought of the fate that awaited her, I began to hate the world that would allow such a thing. It was easy to hate a world that had so scarred Malice and would soon take my Kyeia from me forever. For her, though, for the purple-eyed girl I loved, I would try not to hate those who tore us apart. For her I would fight to make the world a better place, and for Malice as well, so that she could have faith in her own purpose again.
I awoke the next morning before dawn, got up and went to the bathing room to clean myself up. I could do little more than dab at the painful wounds on my face, but I did my best to clean the dried blood from around the tender stitches. I dressed myself in a fresh set of clothes and returned to my room to apply salve to my injuries. Once I was cleaned, dressed, and salved I moved to the exit of my small building - I had begun to think of it as mine since I shared it with no one else - and proceeded outside. There was a new guard on duty already, and he turned to me as I exited into the darkness of early morning.
"Malice says you are off your training schedule for the next two days, until your injuries have time to begin knitting themselves back together." His voice was a guttural rumble, similar to that of Ethaniel and Tempest, and his mouth was lined with the razor teeth I had seen on a few others as well. I had grown accustomed the effect of what the Knights called "The Voice," over the four months I'd been at Fell Rock, but it still sent a chill down my spine whenever I heard it. I didn't know this particular Knight. I could see nothing of the rest of his body, hidden as it was beneath his shifting cloak, though I noted that he had close cropped, pale hair, and there were two holes cut in his hood to allow the protruding of a pair of wolf-like ears, black and gray furred.
"Thank you, sir. Might I ask your name?" I asked, as politely as possible. The words did not come out as clearly as I might have liked, but my lips were swollen and sore, and talking pulled at the stitches in a most uncomfortable way.
"I am Lithe." He said, in the same rumbling voice.
"I am Lowin." I replied, and added. "Though, I suppose you already know that. I intend to go to the practice field, whether I have set training today or not, will that be a problem?" I asked him, not wanting to argue the point if he said it was not all right, but also not wanting to sit alone in my room all day long. That gave me too much time to worry, and I didn't think I could stay sane if I had too much time to do that.
"I do not see a problem with that. No one said that you were not allowed to train if you so wished, only that you would not be required to do so." He nodded then smiled a toothy grin, one that held no particular malice or ill intent. I liked him better than Wisp already.
"Alright," I said, "Let us be off." He followed me dutifully to the practice field, a quiet but ever present guard. I wondered, briefly, if Wisp might try and track me down alone some time, to finish what she had started. I also wondered if that really bothered me. I knew it should, but I had hard time being frightened at the prospect. I made my way to the balance course, intent upon besting my performance on it from the day before, but not sure that I was up to the challenge. Most of my body felt fine, but I was learning that there were many different, unconscious motions that caused the cuts across my face to pull and twist. I stepped onto the first pole in the balance training area and prepared myself to move. I found my first steps to be remarkably easy and I let myself pick up speed as I went, each step going a little faster than the last. By the time I reached the midpoint I was moving as quickly as I ever had before, each foot seeming to find a place to rest of its own volition. I realized, then, that I had finally felt out my center of balance. The exercise of the day before must have awoken my body's natural ability to identify that invisible focus point and now I was unconsciously balancing with that in mind. I flew through the remainder of the course with relative ease, although landing the last jump still caused me some trouble. I didn't have to use my hand to assist me, however, and I considered that a vast improvement. Over all, I felt that I had bested my old time by a considerable margin.
I looked back over my shoulder, and in the early light of rising dawn I could see Lithe removing his cloak, two hand and a half swords, as well as their scabbards and belt. I wondered what he was doing. I only had to consider it for a moment, for after he had stowed his weapons and cloak in a pile he approached the balance poles. Without his cloak on I could see that his features were similar to that of many of the Knights I had met. He had the familiar fur clad arms and legs, though I noted he had small sails upon his back as well. They were not larger wings as those Ethaniel had sported, but small, muscular protuberances of flesh that looked more decorative than functional.
Lithe sprung nimbly to the first pole of the course, his clawed feet giving him perfect purchase on it. A moment later he started on a tumbling course through the poles, flipping and spinning amidst them with more grace than I had ever witnessed at even the most spectacular of traveling shows in my home city. Sometimes he would land on a hand, sometimes on a foot, but no matter how he landed he was ready to propel himself on to the next curved hold with little effort. Halfway through the course, he used his massive strength to throw himself far into the air. His sails opened up, leathery and slightly larger than they'd seemed when they had been folded on his back. He didn't flap them, or try to propel himself with them, but instead he glided down and landed on another of the polls before tucking them back behind him and continuing his mad course of somersaults and flips across the balance obstacles. They worked to slow him, but not much else. He landed on the final pole of the course after a half twist down from a single arm handstand off the position before it. Lithe stepped to the ground nonchalantly.
"I was always good at this." He explained with a sly grin that was infectious, or at least would have been had my face not hurt so badly when I tried to grin back. Lithe returned to the beginning of the obstacle and collected his things. I returned to the beginning of the obstacle as well, and prepared to tackle it again. There was no chance that I could come anywhere near to matching Lithe's performance, but I wanted to repeat the exercise until I could stick the final landing at the end without nearly falling. Without Malice to guide my practice, I decided I would work on the points I knew were my weakest.
I had been hard at work for nearly five hours before Malice happened by. I could immediately tell by the look her face that she was not happy that I had chosen to spend the day on the practice field despite having been given the day off. I had not seen such an angry expression on her face since before our night of shared grief. I subconsciously took a step backward, only noticing it after my foot had already moved.
"Are you attempting to make your wounds worse?" Malice snapped, the ire obvious in her voice, though I noted, with a certain amount of relief, that there was also a hint of concern straining her tones. "If you don't rest, the scarring will be worse, and you risk infecting the cuts that Merrywin has worked so hard to clean and stitch. You are irresponsible. And you," She turned her wrath on Lithe. "You should know better, Lithe. I chose you for this detail because you are level headed and reasonable. At least I thought you were, but it seems you can't even take care of one half-crippled trainee."
Lithe smiled his toothy smile. "You didn't forbid the boy's exercise, and he seemed intent upon his course." He rumbled, and seeing that his explanation had not appeased my instructor he added, "Besides, I remember when you came out to train after you were run through by the Fell Beast, still bleeding from the terrible wound that should have ended your life, you dragged yourself to this very obstacle," He indicated the balance poles, looking at it with eyes that saw through the ages. "If I recall correctly, you proceeded
to force yourself across it time and time again before I finally found you where you'd collapsed in the center of it, and had to carry you back to your bed." Lithe gazed at me with his sharp, all-seeing black eyes. "This one quite reminds me of you, Malice. There is a fire in him that burns bright and hot. He has your determination and, I think, a bit of your anger - though he hides it well."
Malice's face may have softened to some minor degree, but she still looked fearsome to me. "I was fine. The wounds were not nearly as bad as everyone believed. I already had my ability to heal, and though the wound hadn't closed up, I was in no real danger. It was my balance that cost me the injury in the first place. I owed it to myself to better my skills."
Lithe raised an eyebrow. "There are many who would say that any wound on a Knight of Ethan that is still bleeding after a full day of healing is one which deserves special care. I would be inclined to agree."
Malice sighed, obviously exasperated with her fellow Knight. I was smiling inwardly. Malice was a complex person. She was soft and tender, encased a shell of hardness and emotional severity that was difficult to chip away. I almost hoped that she and Lithe would continue to argue, as it offered some insight into Malice's past that I was lacking. Malice ended the argument, though with a forceful declaration. "Fine." She snapped. "I'll not chastise you, Lowin, for doing some training, but you will do no more today and may only do more tomorrow if Merrywin gives you the clear after she checks on you this evening. Do you understand me?" She was looking at me with her jet black eyes, and they left no room for negotiation. I nodded quickly, not interested in raising her ire any more than I had already. Whatever else she might be, Malice was a friend and I had few enough of those without angering the ones I had. After a moment she added, "Are we clear, Lithe?"
Lithe smiled his answer, and Malice frowned in a way which made her very attractive face much less so. When she smiled, it was pure beauty but when she scowled it was something else entirely. She snapped around and walked away and I jumped down from the practice poles and began the short walk back to my room. I was not eager to return to the empty, quiet space of my building. There was little for me to do there but think of all the things I didn't wish to ponder. Much against my better judgment, my mind was already beginning to wander once again back to so many of things troubling me. Silent was still lost. I wanted to ask Malice about that, to see if there were any updates on his situation. However, I wasn't supposed to know he was missing so I couldn't very well ask Lithe or one of the others. I would need to go see Malice at some point and talk to her alone.
Kye's time was growing shorter and I didn't know how short it was. I wasn't sure if I wanted to know exactly how little time remained, but at the same time I was terrified not to know. I wondered what Kyeia spent her days doing, if she worried as much as I did about everything that was happening. I never thought to ask her when we were together because there always seemed to be something else to do or talk about. I suspected that we both were simply doing our best to avoid talking about that which troubled us the most. Did it do us any good to dwell on the negative reality of the situation? I didn't believe so.
My lunch was waiting for me in my room when I arrived but I left it for the time being so that I might get a bath and scrub away the grime of training. The water was warm and relaxing and I used it to make sure my wounds were as clean as I could get them, though putting water on the fresh cuts made them burn with a renewed ferocity. I found a certain solace in the pain and I lost myself in it for a short time. It is a strange thing, pain, that it can so remove you from the present and envelope you in its world. I felt it probably didn't reflect well on me that I'd rather be lost in physical pain than dwell on the rest of my life. That was the way of cowards, I realized. It was easy to look for ways to avoid problems, but what I really needed to do was find a way to face those problems. I might not be able to defeat them but I must at least be willing to accept them. Recognizing that truth was easy, achieving the realization of the recognition was another matter entirely. I knew that if I couldn't find a way to move forward, past the anguish that was consuming my heart, I might never be the man that Kye and the others wanted me to be. I owed them far too much to defeat myself before I had even started.
"I will be stronger, Kye," I said to the empty bathing room, and to myself. "I have to be better. I will be better." The echo of my voice did little to strengthen my resolve.
Three days went by and though Kye did manage to come back to visit me again, she came under the watchful gaze of another of her people. The visit was brief, and when it was over I was left feeling little better than I had before she'd come. My wounds, though, were healing well. The stitches were out already and the knitting of my flesh was complete, though the scars that ran their course across my countenance were bright red and ugly. I knew that in time they would fade to pink, and then to white and I would have some semblance of normality to my appearance. What alarmed me the most was the speed with which my body had closed the vicious cuts. Even with the salve Merrywin had provided, I should have taken much longer to recover from the damage inflicted upon me by Wisp's claws. I was changing, and I knew that it was a result of my connection to Kyeia. Part of my improvement through training was for the same reason, I was aware. Despite my hard work, I should not have come so far, so quickly, on my own. I was getting stronger, faster, and becoming more tuned to my bodies most subtle workings. Years of training may have done the same thing without help but in a little over four months I had improved beyond reason. I was still no match for any of the full Knights of Ethan, but most normal people would have been hard pressed to outrun me, outfight me, or outmaneuver me. It was difficult to be proud of the power I'd obtained, knowing that it was not all from my hard work, more difficult still knowing the ultimate price to be paid.
Looking out my small window, I realized that it was still dark outside. I guessed there to be four or more hours until dawn would begin creeping over the horizon but I was finished sleeping, I wasn't tired, and my mind was racing. I pushed myself up in bed, grabbed my clothes, and threw them on hastily, deciding that I would use my wakefulness to go speak to Malice. I didn't know if she would be awake or not, but I needed to talk to her, and I had the time to do so. I stepped out through the door to my building and walked past Lithe. He fell in behind me, and I realized that he would likely follow me all the way into Malice's office if I let him. I was too troubled to come up with a good excuse, so I decided I would just try the truth.
"I'm going to see Malice, Lithe. I have a personal matter I must discuss with her." I said by way of explanation.
He shrugged, "I will walk you to her residence and then wait outside. It is my duty, after all."
I nodded, realizing that was the biggest concession I would get from the stolid knight. "Thank you," I told him, and continued on my way across the Fell Rock compound. True to his word, Lithe waited at the door as I entered the building housing Malice's private quarters. I walked directly to the door I knew led to her bedroom as I didn't think she would be working in her office so late at night. Before I even knocked on the door, it swung open and I found myself face to face with an angry looking Malice, though her features softened when she saw it was me. Her hair was down, though her Lucidil Cloak was about her shoulders. She stepped through the door frame, looking both ways, but seeing that it was just me she relaxed even further.
"I heard you coming. Your steps are too heavy. What can I do for you, Lowin?" She said, stepping back from her door and gesturing for me to come in.
I stepped into her bedroom, ignoring her criticism of my movement, taking note that her bed was still made and that there was a candle burning at the desk, an opened book lying upon it. "I wanted to talk with you." I began. "It's difficult to do so during the day, and I couldn't sleep tonight. I hope I'm not bothering you." The last was an apology, which I figured was owed any time one intruded on someone else in what was, technically, the middle of the night.
"No," She replied. "The
Knights of Ethan do not have much need of sleep. More than two or three hours of rest in a night is nearly too much sleep. I fill my waking hours with reading and honing my skills." I heard a shuffle of material and looked around to see her removing her cloak and sword belt. Other than those two items, she was wearing only her long shirt, laced up the front, just as it had been that night a few weeks before. Despite my physical excitement, a natural response I had little control over, tonight I did not desire such an intimacy and I think Malice sensed that. She sat down on her bed and pulled her blankets about her. I was amazed at how youthful and innocent she looked wrapped in the blankets from her bed. I put the thought aside.
"Has there been any word on Silent?" I asked, for that was the easiest of the many questions that plagued my mind. Many of the others I feared to ask, particularly the one that had been the driving force behind me coming to see my mentor.
Malice shook her head. "He is still missing, and despite a rigorous combing of the area, we still haven't found any signs of his passing. Our best trackers have looked, and it's as though he simply vanished into the night. We even went through his private quarters, hoping to find some clue to his whereabouts, but everything in his room was as it should be. If he left intentionally, he didn't take any of the supplies one would assume a warrior would take for the road. All of his weapons and all of his extra clothing are in their proper places."
