Return of the Warrior

by Kinley MacGregor

  Christian admired his courage. Few men who knew he wasn’t the monk he appeared had ever stood toe to toe with him.

  Lutian shook his head. “For years now, I have envied you. God’s blood, I even wanted to be you. But you know what? For the first time since the day I met Adara, I am glad that I am only pretending to be a fool. You, on the other hand, are truly an idiot.”

  Never one to tolerate an insult, Christian grabbed him. “Caution your tongue, Lutian. Addled or not, I will beat you for your insults.”

  His anger had little effect on the man. “Then beat me if you will. I assure you any physical blows will be far less painful than the ones you have dealt your wife this night.”

  Stunned by the revelation, he released him. “What do you know of her?”

  “Everything. There is no thought in her heart or head that I haven’t been privy to. I have been her only friend all these years. I was there when her father beat her for her refusal to divorce you and marry another when she was ten-and-eight. I was there when they executed her brother and then locked her away to rot because her father was afraid she would turn on him as well. And I was there moments ago when you broke her heart and killed the only dream she has ever allowed herself to have. I have had it with you, my lord, and I wish you to suffer.”

  Christian ignored the fool as the words soaked in. Adara had been beaten? Locked away?

  Was that possible?

  “What say you?”

  “You heard me. I have spent wasted hours of my life listening to her sing your praises as if you were some noble and kind prince who would come and be the man she deserves. You wore blue trimmed with gold the day you came to her palace for your marriage and you rode a dappled gray stallion named Hercules.

  “Your father was taller than a giant, and possessed a thundering voice and wore a black and gold surcoat. He had well-trimmed golden hair and laughing blue eyes that brightened every time he looked at your mother. She was as beautiful as an angel. Her black hair was coiled around her head with no veil and she wore a gown of scarlet with a golden mantle that was trimmed in topaz and diamonds.”

  Christian was stunned. Lutian described it as if he’d been there. Indeed, he knew details about Christian’s parents that even Christian had forgotten.

  “Whenever your parents would sit, your father oft kept his hand resting on your mother’s shoulder so that he could toy with her earring and lobe. He was prone to lean close and whisper in her ear things that would make her blush and laugh. You thought nothing of running up to your parents, who would pull you into their arms and hold you close. Your mother always tickled you before she released you to go play.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Adara.” Her name was said like a prayer on Lutian’s tongue. “She has every nuance of you and your parents memorized. Do you know she has a gilded box that she keeps in her room at home and in it is everything you touched while you were there? She has the knife you used at dinner. The goblet you drank from. You and her brother were playing a game of chase in the gardens and a piece of trim was torn from your tunic when you ran too close to her mother’s roses. She has that as well, and every night before she retires, she opens the box and touches her only link to a man she has dreamed of. She even sleeps on the pillow that you used while you were there.”

  “Why?”

  Lutian’s gaze bored into him. “Because she saw the love your parents held for each other, the love they held for you, and she has burned to taste that kind of love ever since. Her father was not a kind man. He was a king and he trusted no one, not even his own children. Her parents never coddled her. There were no playful tickles, no kind hugs or kisses in her world. Only a mother who cast her off to a myriad of nurses and a father who had no use for her until after he executed her brother and then needed to have her trained to be a queen.

  “But before your mother left with you, she told Adara that you would come back in six years to consummate your marriage. She promised Adara that if she was a good, chaste, and dutiful wife, you would love her just as your father loved your mother.”

  Tears came into Lutian’s eyes as he looked at Christian as if he were the lowliest of life. “She has nurtured that dream in her heart ever since. Why do you think she came here for you? She could have forged your necklace and found any blond man to pass off to your people as their king. They would never have known the difference. But she didn’t. Even when her father told her it would be in their best interest to divorce you and find another husband, she refused. ’Tis not a king she wants, Christian. She wants her husband. She wants you.”

  Christian didn’t believe him. “She cares not who her husband is.”

  “You couldn’t be more wrong,” he said from between clenched teeth. “Listen to her when she speaks to you. You are not her king or a prince. You are her husband. That is the only word she has ever used for you. And you have spat on her and tossed her away. She thought that when you saw her, you would greet her with kindness and respect, that you would be like your father and treat her as he treated your mother. Instead, you threw her from a window and denied her.

  “Adara is proud, and yet she offered herself to you, not as a queen but as a woman, naked and willing, because in her mind you were her husband and her champion.

  “You’ve no idea how many times I have caught her with a faraway look in her eyes while she rested her hand on her neck, stroking her earring as if she were dreaming of you touching her the way your father touched your mother. How many times she has told me that her husband, not her king, would return for her.”

  “Then why does she flirt with you and with Ioan?”

  He made a sound of disgust. “She’s a woman. She wanted to make you jealous, since you have done nothing but promise to have your marriage dissolved. But when she talks of replacing you she never says she is taking a new husband, only a new king. Those two are not the same in her heart or her mind.

  “The only reason she speaks of seeking another king is to save her people. But at the end of the day, she doesn’t want another king. For some ungodly reason, she wants you, Christian of Acre. Think you she would tend the wounds of anyone else? She’s a queen, not a maidservant, and yet for you she is willing to put aside her status and be a woman.”

  Christian stepped back as he thought over what she’d said to him since they had met. Lutian was right. She did always refer to him as her husband…

  “I have only seen her cry twice in her life. The day her father had her brother executed for treason and this day, when her beloved husband called her whore because she was trying to be practical after he destroyed her dreams of a loving marriage.”

  Lutian shook his head. “You think you’re alone, Prince. You’re not. You have your precious Brotherhood behind you. You have friends aplenty who would die for you. What does Adara have? Only a pathetic thief who pretends to be addled because if I had ever shown myself to be intelligent her father would have banished me from her and left her bereft.”

  Christian couldn’t understand a parent being like that with his child. “Why?”

  “Distrust,” Lutian said simply. “Ten years after you played chase with that little boy in her courtyard, he was a man who made the mistake of trusting his best friend Basilli. Basilli turned Gamal’s mind and convinced him that he could rule over two powerful kingdoms if he killed his father and imprisoned his sister, the Queen of Elgedera.”

  “How did her father find out?”

  Lutian sighed as if it pained him. “Another friend of Gamal’s betrayed his trust by telling his father what he had planned. Gamal was with me and Adara when he was arrested. I don’t think I shall ever forget the look of horror on her face. She loved her brother more than anything, and when she heard what he had planned for her, it broke her heart.

  “She vowed she would never trust another soul as long as she lived. Her father made it easy for her to keep that vow, since he made sure that no one, save me, the mindless fool, ever stayed with her l
ong. She was taken and locked away in a small manor to our northernmost border, where her maids and servants were changed every few months to ensure that no one befriended her.”

  Christian stood in silence as he thought over everything Lutian had told him.

  He had sorely misjudged his wife and it pained him that he had been so harsh with her.

  Wanting to rectify it, he pushed past the fool and started for the entrance. He met the physician who was coming in, but said nothing as he left the tent, then realized he had no idea where Adara had gone.

  Corryn was approaching him from the path between the tents. Her eyes widened as she caught sight of him without his tunic on.

  “Where is Adara?” he asked.

  She pointed to a green tent that was next to Ioan’s.

  Christian headed for it and didn’t stop until he threw back the flap and caught sight of Adara sitting at a table with her back to him. Her head was bent low and she looked weary as she held a slice of apple in her hand.

  She lifted one hand up and wiped at her face.

  “Adara?”

  She jumped as if startled, but didn’t turn around. “What, Christian?”

  He moved around her until he could see her face, and there he saw the truth of what Lutian had said. Her lashes were wet. Her eyes and the tip of her nose were red. He felt like a complete louse that he had caused this.

  “I’m so sorry if I hurt you, my lady.”

  She didn’t speak.

  Christian sank down to his knees next to her chair. He looked up at her and hoped that his sincerity showed on his face. “It took a lot of courage for you to come all this way to seek me.”

  He noticed her grip tightened on the apple, but still she said nothing.

  She was so beautiful sitting there. Like a peaceful angel. He covered her hand with his and without thinking he placed one hand to her neck and stroked her earlobe.

  She bolted from her seat. “Don’t do that,” she snapped, putting more distance between them.

  “Why does that bother you?”

  She looked terribly uncomfortable. “It is an intimate touch that one lover gives to another.”

  “It is a touch that a husband gives to his wife.”

  Sadness marked her face. “But I’m not your wife, Christian. You have no wish to be saddled with me. You’ve made that plain enough.”

  Aye, he’d been cruel and unkind to the one person who deserved his utmost respect. For that he truly was sorry. But he didn’t know what to do. There was no place in his life for a bride.

  He didn’t even know who he was. All he knew was that from the moment he had first met her, he’d been assailed by unfamiliar emotions and feelings. Half of which he could neither name nor identify. Part of him wanted to hold her, to kiss her, and the other wanted to run as far and as fast away from her as he could.

  “Tell me what you want, Adara.”

  Her answer was automatic and emotionless. “I want my people to be—”

  “Not your people,” he said earnestly. “What do you, the lady, not the queen, want?”

  Adara couldn’t say the words. They were too painful because she knew she could never have what she wanted most. Christian had made it readily apparent that he wouldn’t give her her wish. “I want peace for my people.”

  “Is that all?”

  She stared at him, at the golden highlights in his hair and the curiosity in those crystal-blue eyes. She wanted him, her husband. She wanted him to be the man she had dreamed of.

  But he wasn’t.

  That Christian would love her in her dreams. He danced with her and he laughed with her. He cuddled their children and held her close to his heart.

  Saints and martyrs, how she ached for that man to be real. How she needed him to be real.

  It was useless. Her dream Christian didn’t exist.

  The man before her was contemptuous of her. He wanted to leave and be done with her forever. And that made her want to cry again. How could she have been so stupid as to think for one minute that the real Christian could be anything like the man she had made him in her mind?

  She wasn’t a foolish woman, and yet she had sold herself on this ideal. She felt stupid and ashamed.

  He moved to stand before her. “Answer me, Adara. What do you want?”

  She lifted her head to give him a haughty glare, but before she could, he captured her lips with his.

  Adara moaned at the taste of her warrior husband, at the feel of his hard body pressing against hers. She brushed her hands over the naked skin of his back that burned her palms.

  His kiss was wonderful. Hot and maddening. Possessive. Christian filled her senses completely. His skin was like a velvet glove stretched tight over an iron hand. His hair, silky and smooth and cool to her touch. He tasted like wine and smelled divinely masculine.

  This was better than any fantasy kiss she had ever shared with him in her daydreams.

  Christian’s emotions warred inside him as he tasted her sweet innocence, felt her touch. It had been far too long since he last took a woman. Far too long since he’d been this unsettled by anything.

  For some reason he couldn’t understand, he wanted to taste this woman fully. The sight of her greeting him naked went through his mind as his body hardened even more.

  Let her go!

  But it wasn’t that easy. He craved her on a level that he neither understood nor knew. She filled him with more than just simple desire or lust. She did something to him that he didn’t comprehend.

  It was as if she awakened a feral beast inside him that wanted nothing more than to possess her.

  All he knew was that he was hopeless against this woman who had remained faithful to him all these years when he had barely remembered her. How had she remained so loyal?

  It defied his imagination. Surely he wasn’t worth her sacrifice. She should have divorced him and found another.

  But she hadn’t. He wanted to touch the belief in her that had allowed her to stand strong. Wanted to feel it. Most of all, he wanted to feel her.

  Adara’s breath caught as she felt Christian lifting the hem of her gown. His hand skimmed over the bare flesh of her hip. His palm was rough but gentle as he stroked her virgin skin. He deepened his kiss while his warm hand cupped her bottom and pressed her hips closer to his. She felt the swell of his manhood as he rubbed himself against her. A foreign ache started deep inside her body.

  She couldn’t think for the bittersweet pain. “Christian?” she breathed.

  He answered her with another scorching kiss as he slid his hand down between their bodies until he touched the source of her need. She moaned deep in her throat as his long, lean fingers separated the tender folds of her body so that he could stroke her intimately.

  Her head swam at the sensation of his touch. His fingers swirled and probed until he slid one deep inside her that made her entire being shiver. Adara moaned at the foreign feeling, wanting more of her husband.

  Christian couldn’t think straight as her wetness coated his fingers. The sweet, tender smell of her filled his head as she sank her hands deep into his hair and held him close.

  She was his wife. His.

  And he wanted to possess her. That thought consumed him as his body strained to take her. No reason could permeate him at this moment.

  Nothing could stop him.

  Adara saw the wild look in his eyes as he leaned her back against the table so that it supported some of her weight. His hand left her as he moved it toward the laces of his breeches.

  Was he going to…

  Her thoughts scattered as he freed himself from his breeches. He left her mouth to bury his lips against her neck an instant before he drove himself deep inside her body.

  Adara hissed as pain overrode her pleasure. Christian was a large man who filled her to capacity and her body didn’t seem to like that in the least. He held one of her legs against his hip as he pulled himself back, then thrust himself even deeper into her.

&nbs
p; She was stunned by the burning sensation of his body stroking hers. This wasn’t the blissful sharing that she had heard about in poems and songs. This hurt!

  Biting her bottom lip to keep from crying out, she buried her head against his neck and held tight, hoping he would finish soon and be done with her.

  Christian reveled in the tightness of her grip on him until he looked down to see her eyes tightly closed. He paused as he realized she wasn’t enjoying this. She was actually cringing.

  “Adara?”

  “Is it over?” she asked in a brittle voice.

  His desire faltered. He was far from sated, but the hopeful look on her face as she asked her question squelched his need as his body softened against his will.

  The fear and pain in her eyes softened him even more.

  Embarrassed and shamed, Christian pulled out of her. He let her dress fall back into place. “Aye. I am finished.”

  In more ways than one.

  Completely humiliated, he pulled his breeches up and tied them closed as he silently berated himself.

  What were you thinking?

  In one moment of stupidity, he had consummated their marriage. And he hadn’t even enjoyed it.

  What had this woman done to him? Nothing had gone right in his life since the moment he had first laid eyes upon her. Nothing.

  Well, if she didn’t hate him before, she certainly hated him now.

  Look to the bright side, she’ll never want to take another man to her bed.

  Feeling even worse now, he moved away from her. There was an awkward silence between them. In truth, Christian had no idea what to say to her. He’d never taken a virgin before. His lovers had always been experienced and well sated by his touch.

  He’d never had such an encounter. Never. Not even his first time had been this horrifying.

  “I’m sorry I hurt you, Adara,” he said softly. “It was not my intent.”

  Afraid to look at her and see the pain he’d caused, he turned and left her alone and returned to Ioan’s tent, where the physician was waiting.

  Christian grabbed a flagon of ale before he sat in a chair to await the man’s examination.