Can't Help My Shelf (His Curvy Librarian Book 3)

by Frankie Love

  As Nora collapses on the pillow beside me, I pull her hips to mine, spooning her and not wanting to let her go. Damn, I really am falling for her.

  7

  Nora

  We lie together for a while after. It all feels sort of surreal—I definitely never saw this happening, never expected to meet a guy like Nash after I’d pretty much written off the possibility of meeting anyone at all.

  As the high of those glorious orgasms begins to wear off, and my head is still full of Nash’s masculine scent, my body all wrapped up in his strong arms, my thoughts return to more practical matters. In just a few days, I’ve got my appointment at the fertility center, and Nash will be going back to Italy.

  Well, this was beautiful while it lasted—one perfect night. That’s all I wanted anyway, right?

  Nash gets up after a while, making an excuse about not wanting to overstay his welcome as he searches for his clothes, and I say, “I guess this is it then.”

  It’s a bit cynical, maybe even a little bitter—why did I have to meet him at all if we were destined to go our separate ways so soon? But then he surprises me, jumps back into the bed and scoops me into his arms.

  “I’d stay forever if I could,” he says. “What are you doing later in the week? I definitely want to see you again, but I’m only in town a short while and my sister’s got my schedule booked pretty tight with family stuff til Friday.”

  “Friday?” Changing my life forever, I think, but I settle for something a little more mundane. “I’m working during the day.”

  “After?”

  “I’ve got an appointment.”

  I’m being coy, and Nash gives me a nudge. “Is your appointment going to take all night?”

  “Well…”

  He cocks an eyebrow at me, so freaking charming I find myself confessing everything to this man I just met.

  “The appointment is at a fertility center,” I say. “I want to start a family and I’m tired of waiting for it to happen organically, so I’m going to be inseminated on Friday. I was planning to come home and take it easy after, to give it the best chance of success.”

  I don’t add that I’m committing my entire savings to this goal, so I’m emotionally and literally invested in making sure that it works. Instead, I just watch as Nash’s expression turns from curiosity to shock.

  “Seriously?” But for that one word, he seems genuinely speechless.

  “Umm, yeah,” I say, my cheeks reddening. This feels sort of like a practice run for when I tell Cass and Brooks, not to mention Mom and Dad, about my appointment. Is it going to be this hard with them too?

  “Why?” Nash demands.

  Now I’m getting defensive. “What do you mean, why? I’m twenty-six years old and I want to be a mom. You’re the first man who’s asked me out in I can’t even remember how long, so if you can think of another solution besides making it happen for myself—”

  “Who’s the dad going to be?” he asks.

  “A sperm donor,” I answer. “I don’t know his name… it’s anonymous. I just know he’s healthy and—”

  “Let me do it.”

  Now it’s my turn to sputter. “Wh–what?”

  “You asked me if I could think of another solution,” Nash says. “Well, instead of some random list of traits in a binder, wouldn’t you rather have a baby with someone you know, someone you can see, someone you have chemistry with? Someone who can discuss your favorite books, and quote Shakespeare?”

  I bite my lip, my entire chest vibrating with desire. “I do want that. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. But it’s so much more complicated than that.”

  “I promise I’m healthy,” he says. “No genetic diseases in my family, and I’ve had all my shots.”

  I laugh. I sort of hate that he’s making me laugh while he’s turning my whole world upside down… but another part of me doesn’t hate it at all. I take a deep breath, look down at myself, and suddenly realize that we’ve been having this very serious conversation while we’re both buck naked. I guess there’s something to be said about how instantly comfortable I am with him. But…

  “What’s in it for you?” I ask.

  “Nothing.”

  I shake my head. “That can’t be true. You just offered to give me your sperm, and we’ve only known each other a day. Why?”

  Nash breathes deep, getting somber, and says, “My life is sort of incompatible with the idea of having a family. I live on military bases, I’m constantly moving around, I never know when my job will put me in the line of danger. But I’ve always wanted kids. Coming home and spending time with Chelsea, and then meeting you, it just reinforced that desire. If I can’t raise a family of my own, then helping you start yours could be the next best thing.”

  I’m studying his eyes, the depth of emotion in them, and I believe everything he’s saying. This whole situation is crazy, but I kind of love it.

  “I’m not asking to be a father,” he goes on. “I only get thirty days of leave every year, so it’s not like I’ll even be around to bother you if you want to raise this baby on your own.”

  This baby, like it already exists, like we’re definitely doing this. Together.

  “No strings attached,” he says. “Don’t pick some anonymous guy. Let me help you.”

  I take another deep breath, let him kiss me, let myself fall into him… and then I put a hand on his chest and push him away. “I need to think about it.”

  “That’s not a no.”

  “It’s not a no,” I confirm as he gets up again, actually succeeding at putting his pants on this time.

  “I have to leave on Saturday afternoon,” he tells me. “Think about it… but not too long.”

  And then, he’s gone. I fall back on my pillow, caught up in the most powerful emotions I’ve ever had about a man, wrestling with the biggest decision of my life.

  8

  Nash

  The next afternoon, once I’m done having lunch with my parents and Quinn downtown, I beg off from our traditional post-meal trip to the Golden Creek Creamery and head to the library instead. I fucking love that frozen custard and I know I’m going to be craving it the whole time until my next leave—believe it or not, authentic gelato just does not compare—but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Nora and I’d take her over custard any day.

  I find her sitting at the circulation desk, checking out a stack of YA science fiction to an eager-looking teen. When Nora spots me, her eyes light up but then worry crosses her face.

  “Nash, what are you doing here?” she asks when the teen walks away and it’s my turn at the desk. “I thought you said you were busy all week.”

  “I stole a few minutes back,” I say. “I was nearby having lunch, and I just had to come in and ask if you’ve given my proposal any further thought.”

  Nora’s cheeks color and she puts her index finger to her lips. She actually shushes me, and I can’t help grinning, even while I’m being scolded.

  “Don’t say it like that!” she whispers. “People are going to think you proposed.”

  “Sorry,” I whisper back. “I mean, I did propose something, and I don’t want to pressure you. I just wanted you to know that it wasn’t just the heat of the moment. I was, and am, serious.”

  “Shh,” she says again, then steps out from behind the circ desk, looping her arm in mine. She’s leading me away, calling over her shoulder as she goes, “Hey, Cassidy, can you cover the desk for just a minute?”

  The woman she’s talking to looks a lot like her—same wavy hair, same brilliant eyes—and she’s giving Nora an incredulous look. “Sure, sis.”

  “Sis?” I ask as Nora practically drags me into the stacks.

  “My baby sister,” she explains.

  I chuckle. “Ah. Now I get why we can’t talk about this at the circ desk.”

  She leads me around a couple of corners and doesn’t stop until we’re deep in the stacks. It’s quiet back here, with no one around in the middle of the
day. Nora’s hair is shimmering in the light from a nearby window, and I take a moment to appreciate her curves in the flowing skirt she’s wearing.

  “You’re a knockout, you know that?” I know I came here to talk about serious stuff, but I can’t help myself. I press her up against the stacks, my hand hooking under the hem of her skirt and venturing up her thigh.

  Nora turns her face up to mine, parts her lips softly, and I kiss her, my cock hardening as our tongues glide over each other. Fucking hell, getting it on with a naughty librarian in the stacks is every young bookworm’s fantasy, but I never actually thought it would happen.

  “I can’t get enough of you,” I murmur against her skin.

  “Me either,” she breathes, her palm brushing over the front of my pants, turning my cock to steel.

  Oh Christ… I know this can’t go much further, not when someone could walk by at any moment… but I want nothing more than to lift Nora in my arms, press her back against the bookshelf, wrap her thighs around me.

  “Okay.”

  I pull back, just a hair. “Okay what?”

  “Okay, we’ll try it your way,” she says. Her eyes lock onto mine and a shiver like nothing I’ve ever felt before runs up my spine as she adds, “Put a baby in me, Nash.”

  Right here and now, if I could.

  “Really?” I ask, then, not wanting to get her started second-guessing, I hurry to add, “So, uh, how’s this going to work? Do you still want to keep your appointment, have me meet you there?”

  I have no idea how clinical she wants to keep things. My vote is always going to be for the old-fashioned way, but her chances might be higher at the fertility center, and if she decides she doesn’t want me involved with the baby’s life, keeping it strictly medical might be better for her.

  I gotta confess that my head is starting to spin a little bit with all the details. I’ve been so taken with Nora these last couple of days, I didn’t really think of how any of it would actually work. I just made the offer because it felt right, and because I truly wanted to help her.

  I still do.

  But a little part of me is secretly hoping she’ll want me in her baby’s life, if only for thirty days a year.

  “No,” she says. “If we’re going to do this, I may as well save my money and cancel my appointment. It’s not like we haven’t already…” She doesn’t say the words just in case someone’s around to overhear. “You know.”

  I smile. “Yes, and I’m looking forward to you knowing with you again.”

  I move a little closer, my cock nestling in the soft warmth between her thighs as I bring my mouth down to hers once more. God, I have got to stop kissing her or I’m gonna have to check out a book just so I can hold it in front of myself as I walk out of here.

  “I’m staying with my sister,” I tell her. “But I could book us a hotel room if you like, something nice…”

  “No,” Nora shakes her head. “Just come back over to my house Friday evening—I’ll be home by five-thirty. I don’t need a big, fancy hotel room making me any more nervous about this than I already will be. And it might not even work… a lot of couples have to try for months or longer to conceive the natural way…”

  She’s rambling, her nerves on display. I hook a finger beneath her chin, tilting her eyes up to meet mine, and she gives me a shy smile. I say, “You’re in charge here, Miss Nora. You call the shots, I’m just here to help.”

  She stands a little taller, brushing her hands down her skirt to straighten it. “Okay. Come over at six on Friday, then.” She starts to head back through the stacks, but pauses at the end of the row and turns back to me. “Thanks, Nash.”

  Then she’s gone, and I grab the nearest book off the shelf. Apparently we’ve been standing in the history section because I find myself learning about the Peloponnesian War until my hard-on subsides enough to walk out of here.

  9

  Nora

  It’s six o’clock on Friday night and I’m feeling way more nervous than I should while I wait to sleep with a man I’ve already been with once.

  Would my nerves have been this bad if I kept my appointment at the fertility center? I should be feeling better because the chances of me getting pregnant after one artificial insemination or by doing things the natural way with Nash are almost equal, but I’m saving so much money this way.

  All I’ve spent so far is another fifty bucks on another set of lingerie and twenty more on a bottle of wine to help me relax a little.

  When the doorbell rings, I jump and pull my silk robe tighter around myself. I go downstairs and open the door, and this time Nash isn’t in a suit, and he doesn’t have another bookquet for me. Instead, his beard is freshly trimmed, he’s in a crisp button-down that hints at the rippling muscles beneath, and he holds out a small, pastel-yellow gift bag.

  “For you,” he says as I let him in, and I smile, some of my nerves seeping away. His eyes are sweeping over me in my robe, hunger evident in them, and I’m really going to miss the way he looks at me when he’s gone.

  I peek inside the bag and read the title of the small board book within. “Pat the Bunny.”

  “Another Chelsea favorite,” he says. “For you to read to your little one when the time comes.”

  And then, suddenly, the waterworks begin. I don’t even feel the tears building until they’re pouring down my cheeks, and Nash looks alarmed.

  “Whoa, did I say something wrong? Did you have a traumatic experience with Pat the Bunny as a kid or something?” He’s teasing me, but there’s also real concern in his tone and he pulls me into his arms. “Come here, baby, what’s the matter?”

  I swipe furiously at the tears, but I let him hold me. “I don’t know—it’s probably just the hormones, the stress. I’ve been freaking out all week about this, first with my appointment and then waiting to see you again.”

  “Are you unsure about going through with it?” he asks. “We can just hang out instead.”

  I shake my head. “That’s not it. My whole life, all I ever wanted was to be a mom, have a family. I’m determined to make it happen, and I was ready to do it all on my own…”

  I trail off. Even though Nash has got me wrapped up in his strong arms, stroking my hair and saying all the right things, I can’t bring myself to actually say what’s on my mind.

  The truth is that this past week has been wonderful. I’ve never met anyone I could actually visualize sharing my life with—not even close—until I met Nash. And here we are, one date and one wild night later, and he’s offering to make a baby with me before he disappears again.

  I still want a baby, a family, more than anything. But now that I’ve had a taste of more, I want it all. With him.

  And I know that can’t happen.

  “I guess I’m just still hung up on my life turning out a certain way,” I say. “I thought I was over it, but I’m not.”

  Nash leads me over to the couch, uses his thumbs to dry my cheeks, and says, “I get that.”

  “You do?”

  He nods. “I didn’t always think I was gonna be in the Army. In high school, I was a running back and I was really good. The college scouts were paying more attention to me than the quarterback, and I had big plans to get a scholarship and play college ball, maybe even go pro.”

  “What happened?”

  “Blew out my knee junior year,” he says, a look of pain on his face that tells me it’s an old emotional wound he hasn’t quite gotten over. “I recovered, but it took a while and I missed the whole season. All the college recruits passed me by and my scholarship dreams evaporated, to say nothing of going pro.”

  “So you joined the Army instead?” I ask.

  “Yeah,” Nash nods. “I had a buddy who came from a military family, always knew he was going to be a soldier, and he talked me into enlisting with him. Said I’d get to see the world and make a real difference, and you know what? It’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

  I smile. “Even though it wa
s kind of a fluke.”

  “I like to think of it more like fate,” Nash says.

  He tilts my chin up so that our eyes are locked, and I can see every golden glimmer in his gaze. The way he’s looking at me now—the way he always looks at me—banishes the butterflies in my stomach and replaces them with a much more pleasant sensation. My body is awakening, tingling with desire.

  “Life doesn’t always go to plan,” he continues. “Hell, I’d say it’s rare when it does. But sometimes what happens instead is even more perfect.”

  He kisses me, softly, gently, like he’s afraid I might break. But he’s right—I’m strong enough to weather any storm, prepared for any twists life throws my way… and I want him. I want this baby… our baby.

  And I want us, even if only for one more night.

  I untie the silk belt of my robe and pull it open to reveal the lacy black lingerie beneath. I even picked out something crotchless this time, just like Cassidy advised, because I’m going to make our last night together something to remember.

  “Hot damn, woman,” Nash grins. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack before I can put a baby in you?”

  I laugh. “I’m sure you’re fit enough to handle it, soldier.”

  Then I straddle his lap, and Nash pulls my body against his, groaning with pleasure as I feel his cock hardening against me.

  10

  Nash

  Our second night together is somehow even better than the first, despite the rough start.

  What began as a spontaneous offer made on a whim has turned into an idea that I’m really starting to love, just as much as I find myself loving Nora.

  It’s a wild thing to say, but you don’t have to read an entire book to know you love it, and I don’t have to know everything about Nora to know she’s amazing.