shaede assassin 05 - shadows at midnight

by amanda bonilla

  He ended the call and in the ensuing silence, I fought the onslaught of tears as my heart broke for what I was about to lose.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  I’d never had a royal escort before. It wigged me out to see the lengths that Raif went in order to ensure my protection. I rode in one of Xander’s fancy town cars while one black SUV drove in front of us and the either behind us. I assumed both vehicles were crammed with armed guards and I let out a disbelieving chuff of laughter that got me a strange look from my driver and the Shaede who rode shotgun. Never in a million years would I have thought I’d be grateful to be treated as though I wasn’t capable of protecting myself.

  Never in my whole life had I needed protecting like I did now.

  When the car pulled into Xander’s driveway, my stomach twisted into an unyielding knot. I’d tried to convince myself that the words Raif spoke to me had been conjured in my imagination. That they all weren’t abandoning me in their quest to shore up Xander’s claim on his throne. It was an adventure I was sad to miss out on. One that I’m sure would get me into some new scrape or another. Thanks to the watchful eye of the Synod—and the Délash who’d become my unwelcomed stalker—it looked as though this would be one adventure I’d have to miss out on.

  “What’s the story, morning glory?”

  Asher flashed me a cheeky grin as I crossed the foyer. God damn it, I was going to miss that snarky little shit. “I could do this job better, faster, and cheaper,” I remarked as though I was doing Asher a favor by not going to take care of Saben myself. I didn’t have it in me to be playful right now. Not when my life as I knew it was about to so drastically change.

  “And probably with a hell of a lot more finesse,” Asher added with a smile.

  “You’ve got that right.”

  “You can still come, you know,” he said. “I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only one happy to have you along for the ride.”

  I was so tempted.

  From the corner of my eye, I caught Raif at the top of the stairs. Traitorous tears stung at my eyes and my breath sped in my chest. I couldn’t say goodbye to him. Not yet. I’d lose my shit before he managed to get a word out.

  “I think the king wants a word with you first,” Asher said as he noticed where my gaze had gone. “He’s in his study.”

  Well. Wonders never ceased. For someone who’d led me to believe a few days ago that he’d never sit in that study again, Xander had sure made a turnaround.

  I’d take any distraction I could get at this point. And though facing Xander after what I’d seen that hospital room was as appealing as walking over hot coals, I knew that I couldn’t let him leave until we had some sort of closure.

  We really were a dysfunctional family, weren’t we?

  The steps down the hallway to Xander’s study felt like a march to the electric chair. My feet were lead weights, dragging over the hardwood floor with every scrape of my booted soles. I stopped just outside of the French doors, took a deep breath and held it in my lungs.

  “I’ve never known you not to barge right in without an invite, Darian.”

  Xander’s red velvet voice snaked around me like the shadows that constructed him. Warm. Familiar. And comforting. I pushed open the door and strode into the study, my shoulders thrown back and chin held high. I didn’t meet Xander’s gaze as I set the katana—my most prized possession—down on the desktop. The daggers were next and they vibrated in my palms as though reluctant to be parted from my hands before I set them beside the samurai sword. I knew exactly how they felt.

  “What are you doing?” Xander arched a regal brow, his mouth quirked in a sardonic half-smile.

  “They belong to you.” It was almost impossible to speak through the thickness in my throat. “And you’re going to need them more than I do.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous Darian.” It was nice to hear that regal superiority in Xander’s tone again. “They were gifts, which mean they no longer belong to me. Besides, do you really think those were the only weapons of value in my armory?”

  I’d never really thought about it. I wondered what sorts of weapons were in the Shaede King’s possession that he might be fonder of than my katana and daggers. Whatever they were, they had to be bad-ass.

  “Between you and me,” I said with a nervous laugh, “I didn’t want to give them up.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.”

  Quiet stretched between us. Our gazes met and held. Tomes of words remained unspoken and deep down, I knew neither of us would ever say everything that was in our minds and hearts. “How are Anya and the baby?” It seemed as good a topic as anything to shatter the quiet.

  “Both are well,” Xander said with warm affection. “She named the baby Dimitri.”

  After his father. Anya might have been a stone cold bitch on the outside but I sensed that beneath that tough exterior was a softer side that not many people had the privilege to see. Dimitri had been one of those people. I’m sure Xander was the other.

  “Is she going with you?” Not that she’d be running into the thick of the action with a baby in her arms, but after seeing her and Xander together in the hospital, I sensed that they’d be keeping close quarters.

  “No,” he replied. “They’ll both be safer here.”

  The knot in my chest loosened. I averted my gaze as I tried to slow my beating heart. Knowing that Anya was staying behind gave me some small reassurance that they’d all come back once Xander’s business with Saben was settled.

  “I want you to move into the house.” My head snapped up at Xander’s words and my brow puckered. “Temporarily,” he added. “While we’re gone and until you find a suitable replacement for your apartment.”

  Suitable replacement? There’d never be one. My building was a one-of-a-kind property. At least, it had been. Finding something comparable wasn’t going to be a picnic. Especially now that I had to look over my shoulder everywhere I went.

  “Xander—”

  “If you argue with me, I’ll buy you a quaint little cottage on the lake. And I’ll make sure you have the quaint neighbors to go with it.”

  Damn him. He knew me. Probably too well. And the one thing that would never change between us was our ability to push each other’s buttons. I had to admit that the prospect of living somewhere that might help me avoid the Synod’s scrutiny was appealing. “What about Anya?” I asked. “You know I’m not exactly living carefree right now. I don’t want to bring any danger near her or the baby.”

  Xander considered me for a quiet moment. “I’ve consulted Anya. She said that if the Jinn want you, she’ll happily hand you over to them. Hence eliminating any threat to her or Dimitri.” Mischief twinkled in Xander’s eyes. My mouth screwed up into a petulant pucker. No doubt Anya would serve me up on a silver platter. “For the most part, she’ll keep to her apartment and you’ll have the main house. I doubt you’ll even see each other much.”

  “All right,” I said on a sigh. Honestly, I couldn’t stay at Tyler’s for much longer. That was the first place the Synod would expect me to be. At this point, staying here was the best option. But in the meantime, I’d make it a priority to find a new place ASAP. “Thank you, Xander. I appreciate it.”

  “Thank you, Darian,” he said pointedly. “I am forever in your debt.”

  He rose from his chair and rounded the desk. My heart rocketed into my goddamned throat and I swallowed the emotion that threatened to choke me. I stood on numb legs that barely supported my weight as I tilted my chin up to look at him. In this moment, I saw him exactly as I had that first night we’d met: haughty, sardonic, confident, and beautiful. He was larger than life and I almost wished that I could’ve loved him in the way that he’d wanted me to.

  He brushed the pad of his thumb across my face. “Goodbye, Darian. For now. If you should need me—any of us—before we find our way back here, say the word.”

  Tears welled in my eyes. A knot of emotion formed in my throat, the damned thing so big I couldn�
�t even swallow it down. I gave a shallow nod of my head and Xander smiled. “To leave you speechless…Is there a better farewell gift?”

  Damn him.

  A furrow cut his regal brow and without another word, he brushed past me. “Remember, Darian,” he said as crossed the threshold. “If you need anything.”

  I nodded again. Still unable to utter a single word.

  After Xander left the room, I stood rooted to my spot in the middle of his study. The quiet sliced through me and I shivered.

  “That he’s making dramatic exits is a good sign,” Raif said gently from the doorway. “I hate to admit that I missed his melodrama.”

  The first tear spilled over my lid and I swiped it away. Another fell to take its place and another. I drew in a shuddering breath that lodged somewhere in my chest and locked my jaw down to keep the sob that welled in my throat from escaping. “Don’t leave.” My hoarse whisper sounded foreign in my ears.

  My most treasured and trusted friend gave me a sad smile. “I see melodrama is contagious.” His voice bore nothing but tender emotion. “You act as though I’m about to fall off the face of the earth, never to return.”

  Wasn’t he? There was no telling what might happen. Saben could be waiting with an army. Ash and Raif were deadly, no doubt about it, but they weren’t infallible. I couldn’t lend a voice to my fears. If I did, I’d lose it for sure.

  “I’ll be back before you even realize I’ve been gone.”

  “Will you?” Seattle wasn’t his home. It wasn’t any of their homes. They had no reason to come back.

  “Of course I will,” Raif said as though the notion of not coming back was ridiculous. His brilliant blue eyes crinkled at the corners. “If anything, to see what sort of new trouble you’ve landed yourself in.”

  “Something I’ll probably need you to get me out of,” I said ruefully.

  “Without a doubt,” Raif replied. “You still have a lot to learn, and I’ll consider it a failure if I don’t complete your training.”

  Raif was totally my Obi Wan. “I love you.” I’d never spoken the words out loud to him, but they couldn’t be truer. From day one, Raif had been the closest thing to family I’d ever had.

  He was as uncomfortable hearing the words, as I was saying them. He cleared his throat and his voice was gruff when he said, “And I love you.”

  The floodgates opened and I flung myself into his arms. Raif held me tight and a low chuckle rumbled in his chest. “So melodramatic.”

  Long moments passed. I didn’t pull away and neither did Raif. “You’ll be protected here,” he said against my hair. “Security team, a car when you need one… Whatever resources we have are at your disposal, Darian. Watch your back. I don’t believe that Tyler would ever willingly or carelessly put you in the path of danger, but I believe he’s gotten himself in over his head this time. Be selfish and watch your own back. Don’t let your guard down for even a moment until I get back.”

  Raif’s words rang true. Ty’s overconfidence worried me. Raif and I both knew that overconfidence could get your ass in a sling if you weren’t careful. Ty hadn’t been careful for a long damned time. “Kill that son of a bitch Saben,” I said. “And then get your ass back here if you can.”

  Raif passed his palm over my hair as he took a step back. “I’ll do that. Until next time, Darian.”

  Not goodbye. I’d never, ever say those words to him no matter what. I gave him a weak smile. “Catch ya on the flipside, Raif.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  I beat a hasty retreat after my emotional breakdown with Raif. Thanks to Xander’s generous offer, I’d have a place to stash what was left of my belongings—including myself—as I searched for a new place to hang my hat. It wasn’t that I wanted to be away from Tyler, but we both knew it was the best option. His sigh of relief when I told him did nothing for my nerves.

  “I take it things with the Synod didn’t go so well?”

  “Not exactly,” Ty remarked. “I don’t want to talk about it over the phone, though. Let’s meet at your place and then we’ll work on getting you relocated.”

  Relocated? What the hell? Was I entering into witness protection or some shit? After the emotional wringer I’d just gone through, I wasn’t sure how much more I could take today.

  “Be straight with me, Ty. On a scale of one to ten, how fucked are we?”

  “Honestly?” he remarked. “About a fifty.”

  Shit.

  “A car ride through downtown is going to take too damned long.” I was fully prepared to wish myself straight to my apartment.

  “No.” The tension in Tyler’s tone gave me pause. “It’s not safe.”

  Since when had it been unsafe to exercise what was my right through our bond? I felt raw and exposed, too damned vulnerable for my peace of mind. Adrenaline coursed through my bloodstream like fire and my muscles twitched in anticipation of being put to use.

  “Wanna elaborate on why?” I couldn’t stop my tone from reaching near-shout proportions.

  “I’ve been ordered not to grant any more of your wishes. The Délash will know and the moment you speak the words, it’ll find you and kill you.”

  Jesus. If that wasn’t a kick in the gut. “I’m on my way,” I said. “I’ll get to you as fast as I can.”

  “Darian, I love you,” Tyler said.

  A wave of fear crested over me. “I love you, too.”

  I ended the call. In the space of a few minutes, we’d officially become fugitives. Forget staying at Xander’s house, the only way we’d be safe now was if Tyler and I left the fucking planet.

  Climbing into the back of one of Xander’s car was the equivalent of locking myself up in a cell. The spacious town car might as well have been a sardine can and the amount of breathable oxygen in the enclosed space wasn’t enough for my lungs, let alone the two Shaedes in the front seats. I was so fucking on edge that my brain refused to focus on a single thought and I watched out the window at the cars on the streets, the pedestrians walking in herds on the crowded sidewalks, and the buildings that towered above us the closer into downtown we got. Anything to keep my mind off of the emotions that built as swirled within me like a roiling summer storm.

  The world around me froze. Literally. As though the entire city of Seattle had been placed in a state of suspended animation. People, cars, even my driver and his buddy might as well have been statues, frozen in mid-action.

  “Hello, Darian.”

  My heart dropped to the soles of my fucking feet at the sound of Merrick’s voice. He sat beside me in the backseat as though he belonged there, his pristine three-piece suit perfectly pressed and not a thread out of place.

  “Ty’s waiting for me,” I said. Not that I thought the warning would do me a damned bit of good.

  “That he is,” Merrick agreed.

  It worried me more that Merrick was here with me now and not the mysterious Délash that seemed to have followed my every move. At least that big, black cloud of doom was a threat I could understand. If it was hovering over me now, I knew I could kiss my ass goodbye and reconcile myself with that. Merrick’s presence was a variable I couldn’t account for. I had no idea what his play would be so I couldn’t even form a plan of attack.

  “I’m truly sorry that it’s come to this, Darian,” he said so conversationally that it almost lulled me into thinking he wasn’t here to fuck my entire life over. “I have great love for Tyler. That’s my weakness, I suppose.”

  What did that even mean? Panic welled hot and thick in my throat and my hands began to quake. “Can’t you just let us love each other?” I’d been through too much shit today to be anything but supplicating. “Why is it so wrong?”

  “It’s not wrong.” The sadness in his voice cut through me. “Love is both selfless and selfish, I’m afraid. Tyler gave you the ultimate gift, Darian, and not even I can take that from you.”

  I reached for my finger and traced the outline of the bear carved into the silver. “He’s n
ot dangerous,” I said. “You have to know that.”

  “I do,” he agreed. “But together, the two of you could be quite dangerous indeed. I can’t sit by and do nothing. Despite the fact that I should have allowed the Synod to banish him from this plane, I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands. I’ll protect the both of you. From each other.”

  I was told that if I didn’t obey the rules, our bond would be severed by the Synod. That they’d wipe all trace of me from your memory.

  “No.” The realization of what Merrick was about to do caused the bile to rise to my throat. “Please.” My breath sped in my chest and my heart beat a furious rhythm against my ribcage. “Don’t do this. I’m begging you. Don’t take him away from me.” Please. I sent a prayer out to anyone that might be listening. God, please not this. Anything but this!

  I reached for the door handle, prepared to bolt. All I needed was a few feet of distance from Merrick and I’d be safe enough to wish myself to Ty’s apartment. We could run from there. As far fucking away as we could possibly get. As I lunged for the door, Merrick leaned close to my ear and whispered, Or’del, umz zeydeld.

  “You won’t even miss him, Darian.”

  I blinked at the man sitting beside me. “Miss who?”

  “Exactly.”

  #

  I stared up at the crumbled façade of my building. Weird, I couldn’t remember the drive over here. It showed the shit-storm of a week I’d had that I couldn’t recall the drive from Xander’s house to my once-pristine apartment. I guess I should’ve been glad that I hadn’t been home when the gas main decided to explode. Supernatural healing or not, I doubt I would’ve walked away from the experience.

  Being homeless wasn’t ideal, and finding a new place as good as this one was going to be tough. At least I had something to occupy my time. Despite my sadness, it still burned that Xander hadn’t asked me to help him put his house in order, but I supposed I could hold down the fort until he, Raif, and Asher decided to come home. I paused mid-step, a box of clothes clutched in my arms. Why in the hell hadn’t they asked me to come along? I searched my memory for a conversation, anything, and came up blank. And the more I thought about it, the harder my head began to pound. Jesus. I really was coming off a bad week. Or a really hardcore bender. Heh. Either way, I think I needed a nap, a bourbon straight up, or both.