A Reason to Believe

by Diana Copland

  Matt gritted his teeth but didn’t wrench his hand free.

  “Matt, I’m all right. Not even a scratch, see?” He pulled Matt’s hand to his chest and Matt allowed it, not protesting when he pressed his palm over his heart and held it there. “Feel that? Still beating steadily, thanks to you.”

  Matt felt his anger drain away as quickly as it had come, and he took his first full breath since he’d spotted the sedan’s open window. He closed his eyes and let his head fall forward.

  Kiernan sighed and his hands bracketed Matt’s face, urging his chin up. To Matt’s surprise, his lips were covered, urged to part, and soft breath filled his mouth. Kiernan’s fingers carded the short hair above his collar. He made a startled sound in his throat and felt Kiernan’s tongue slide along his lower lip before slipping between his teeth. After a moment he drew back, but only far enough that their mouths were barely separated.

  “See,” he whispered. Matt felt the rush of his breath. “Everything still works fine.”

  Matt wasn’t sure if it was the unexpectedness of the comment or pure relief, but he laughed roughly. He caressed the curve of muscle beneath his palm and stepped into the vee created by Kiernan’s spread thighs. “Good to know.”

  “I certainly think so.” Kiernan smiled against his lips, and then he was pressing back in, mouth open, to kiss Matt for all he was worth.

  Whether it was lingering tension or a remnant of the adrenaline from earlier, these kisses accelerated quickly beyond simplicity. He met the caress of Kiernan’s tongue, his own moving into Kiernan’s mouth in an unmistakably sexual rhythm. Kiernan moaned, pressing forward, thighs widening. Matt slid his hand around Kiernan’s waist, dropping to the taut ass. He curved his fingers into the solid mound of muscle and yanked him forward.

  Kiernan arched his pelvis. Lifting his leg, he hooked his knee over Matt’s hip. Matt’s cock was filling and lengthening, and, feeling vaguely out of control, he pressed more firmly into Kiernan, gripping his thigh as he rocked against him. Their lips parted and Kiernan’s head dropped back.

  “God,” he moaned. “You feel so good.”

  “You too.”

  Kiernan was all lithe motion and unexpected strength, his leg locking and squeezing tight around Matt’s waist, his hips surging upward. Matt could feel Kiernan’s hard cock against him and he wanted to touch. Even as the thought passed through his mind, Kiernan’s hand moved between them, his palm covering the bulge in the front of Matt’s trousers.

  “Fuck,” Matt muttered, pushing into the caress.

  “Okay,” Kiernan whispered, and then he kissed him again, luring Matt’s tongue back into his mouth. He sucked on it so hard and so skillfully, Matt could imagine it was his prick, and it throbbed in response. Kiernan stroked him firmly, up and down, fingers pressing.

  Matt was afraid he might embarrass himself. It had been over a year and a half since anyone had touched him in passion, and he was shaking with the effort it took not to come.

  He caught Kiernan’s wrist with a growl, removing his hand and pinning it to the tile.

  His mind filled with images of ripping off Kiernan’s jeans, shoving his knees to his chest and taking him right on the kitchen counter. He was so caught up in pressing him backward, in kissing him as deeply as his tongue could manage, Matt didn’t realize anything was wrong until Kiernan stiffened and he heard the sound of a throat being cleared. He straightened in shock, his eyes wide as he jerked his head toward the back door.

  Standing in the open doorway was Aidan Fitzpatrick, her black brows nearly to her hairline, a tote bag over one shoulder and a suitcase at her feet. Just behind her was Sheila, holding the screen door in her hand, her face both flushed and highly amused.

  “Um, hi, sis,” Kiernan said gamely, dropping his leg from around Matt’s waist and struggling to sit up. Matt took a step back, and immediately both sets of eyes dropped in unison to the front of his trousers. Cursing explosively, he turned his back. There was a moment of charged silence.

  “Well,” Aidan said finally, her tone surprisingly mild. “I believe the mystery of why you’re so determined to remain in town has been solved.”

  Sheila laughed brightly even as Matt ran his hand roughly through his hair.

  He was never going to live this down. Ever.

  Chapter Ten

  It wasn’t the most awkward evening of his entire life. There had been the night when he was fifteen, when he’d told his parents he was gay. He was quite certain that had been worse. And then there was the time when his brother had unexpectedly come to visit him at college and hadn’t knocked before walking in on him and his boyfriend. They had not been studying. He was sure he’d never seen anyone quite the shade of green Bill had been. So, yes, he’d experienced worse. It didn’t make the next four hours any less uncomfortable.

  He excused himself not long after the women arrived and went to change his clothes. In reality he just wanted out of the room so he didn’t have to look into the knowing, amused faces. His arousal hadn’t lasted much beyond Sheila’s laughter, but his embarrassment had. The people closest to him all knew he was gay, but he’d never been one for public displays of affection. Having his sister-in-law catch him with his tongue down someone’s throat while they humped on his kitchen counter was well beyond his comfort level. He changed into jeans and a fleece pullover, straightened up the bedroom, even put out clean towels in the bathroom before coming to the conclusion he couldn’t hide forever.

  Aidan was very casual about the whole thing, ordering pizza on her cell phone, although she had sent Matt more than one pointed look. Sheila was worse, winking at him every chance she got, deciding she could stay for dinner because her children’s father was capable of boxed mac and cheese. Her real reason for staying was to torment him as much as possible. Kiernan acted as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, being his usual irrepressible self. He followed Matt into the kitchen when he went to get something to drink.

  “You know,” he murmured, leaning against the counter at Matt’s side. “This whole thing will be easier if Aidan believes the reason I’m staying is because we’re involved. If that’s all right with you.”

  Matt sent him a sardonic look. “Well, given what she walked in on, that shouldn’t be a particularly hard sell.”

  Kiernan grinned. “My thoughts exactly.” He took a glass of Coke and paused, eyes bright. “It was fun, yeah?”

  Matt grunted softly. “Yeah, it was,” he acknowledged grudgingly.

  Kiernan winked and walked out of the kitchen and Matt found his eyes dropping to Kiernan’s ass. Okay, he had to accept he was fixated. And the way Kiernan’s ass had felt in his hands, hard muscles flexing… Sighing, he picked up two more glasses and followed.

  Kiernan didn’t do anything overt as the evening went on, but to his sister, the signs must have been unmistakable. He sat beside Matt on the couch, not leaning on him but close enough. Matt found Kiernan’s eyes turning to him often, warm with affection. He knew he blushed more than once, something which Sheila seemed to find particularly entertaining.

  Kiernan was also a tactile person. Matt had noticed it before, but he became even more aware of it with watchful eyes on them. Kiernan touched his knee or the back of his hand, and Matt could feel both women cataloging each casual brush of his fingers. This gave Sheila something else to smirk about. By the time he walked her to the door, he was happy to see her go. And then she stopped in his entry, looked up at him, and her hazel eyes were suddenly awash with tears.

  “Sheil,” he whispered, but she shook her head, circling his neck with her arms and hugging him.

  “I’m glad. We’ve been so worried about you.” She leaned back, studying him with a misty smile. “Just don’t make it too hard for him, all right? He so obviously really likes you.”

  “Sheila.”

  “Fine, I
won’t say anything else. And I won’t mention it to your brother.” She paused meaningfully. “Yet.”

  “Thank you.” Matt dropped his hands into his jeans pockets. “Let’s see what happens first, okay?”

  She nodded, kissing him on the cheek before she went out into the falling snow.

  Aidan didn’t remain in the living room long after Sheila’s departure. She said she needed to sort their luggage out. Matt thought she was trying to give them some time alone, an impression reinforced when she sent her brother an enigmatic look as she left the room.

  Kiernan sat next to Matt on the sofa, their thighs touching. Feeling as ill at ease as if he were on a first date, Matt drank half a glass of Coke, fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, reached for the remote and turned on ESPN. He watched the commentator talking about the Broncos and the Steelers, but didn’t hear a word of it. His mind was preoccupied with the arm pressed to his, the leg snug against his thigh, the sound of Kiernan’s soft, regular breathing. He hadn’t felt this unnerved since he was a kid, which was ridiculous given that he’d already had his tongue down Kiernan’s throat.

  “Um, I think I’ll go help Aidan with the luggage,” Kiernan said finally, rubbing his hands on his knees and standing.

  Matt looked up, torn between relief and disappointment. “Okay.” When Kiernan didn’t leave, Matt arched an eyebrow at him. “What?”

  Instead of answering, Kiernan leaned forward resolutely, propping his hands on the back of the couch on either side of Matt’s shoulders, effectively caging his larger body between his arms. Matt tried to look intimidating but if the smile pulling at Kiernan’s lips was any indication, he was failing miserably. Without hesitation, Kiernan lowered his head, covering Matt’s mouth with his.

  Matt tensed, but when he felt Kiernan’s tongue touch his lower lip, he closed his eyes, opened his mouth and relaxed into it. It seemed every time he kissed Kiernan, his mind was perfectly happy to take a hiatus and allow his body to simply feel. Reaching out, he blindly caught Kiernan’s hip in one hand, his other lifting to slip around the slender waist, feeling the strong, solid line of muscle running up his side. When Kiernan broke the kiss, he paused with his cheek pressed against Matt’s.

  “You think too much,” he whispered, then leaned back, his eyes bright. He kissed Matt again, a quick peck on his lips, before straightening away. “‘Night, Matt.”

  Shooting a jaunty grin over his shoulder, he walked from the room. Matt watched him until he heard the bedroom door open and close. He spent a long hour staring unseeing at the television before he gave up and went to get bedding.

  He shifted on the couch, reaching down to lift the comforter up over his shoulder as he rolled onto his side, unable to relax. It had stopped snowing. The sheers over the windows were closed, but even the light felt cold, and he burrowed deeper under the blankets.

  He should be sleeping but his mind simply wouldn’t settle. Between the shots fired at them, and then the kiss in the kitchen…

  Kiernan confused the hell out of him. He could admit it to himself in the midst of the longest part of the night. There was no question he liked him. A lot. He was funny and disarming and sexy. Matt was stunned by how forcefully he’d reacted to just a kiss. There was something about him, something that drew Matt in like a magnet.

  Thinking about Kiernan sent a warm rush of blood to his groin, and Matt reached down to adjust himself in his jockeys. It had been years since he’d been hard so many times in one day. In fact, he hadn’t been as aware of a man on a purely physical level since Brad. He had no idea how he felt about it.

  Sighing again, he closed his eyes, determined to try to get some sleep. It had been a hellish few days. He’d met Kiernan on the twenty-sixth and today was…he counted. The twenty-eighth. Hard to believe so much in his life had changed in just two days. But he’d known Brad was someone special from the moment he’d met him, too. He yawned as he drifted toward sleep.

  Moments later a wisp of charged air brushed his cheek.

  Matt’s eyes shot open and he lurched into a sitting position, and was only then aware of the heavy feeling in the room.

  He looked around quickly, but there was no small child anywhere to be seen, Still, the certainty he wasn’t alone had him looking over the back of the couch. He saw nothing but a dark hallway behind him.

  “Abby?” he whispered. “Are you here?”

  There was no sound in answer to his question, but he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. The sheers were undulating at the windows. He was so fixated on the movement that when a newspaper fell suddenly onto the coffee table right in front of him, he jumped.

  “Christ, Abby,” he gasped. “What…”

  The pages of the paper began to lift and rattle, stirred by a phantom wind. They turned in a dizzying rush and Matt stared, wide-eyed, as the paper crackled loudly in the silent house. As abruptly as they’d begun, the pages settled and the newspaper jerked closer to him, turned at an angle. The headline was unmistakable even in the eerie gloom.

  Child’s Father Soon To Be Indicted, Many Speculate. Assistant District Attorney Refuses To Comment.

  Matt read it, his heart sinking. He lifted his head and could feel her watching him. “I know, honey. We know it wasn’t your dad, and we’re doing everything we can.”

  The paper protested again, lifting and shaking.

  “Abby, I know your dad didn’t do it. I do. But there’s only so much…”

  The paper flew at him. Matt managed to get his hand up just before it hit him square in the face. The pages fell into his lap, spilling onto the floor. The unexpectedness of it left his heart pounding. He knew she was gone even before the heavy feeling in the room faded.

  He took an unsteady breath and looked down at the disorganized pile of newsprint.

  “Okay,” he muttered, his voice sounding shaky even to his own ears. “Clearly, doubting your existence is no longer an option.”

  * * *

  The following morning there wasn’t time to tell Kiernan about his midnight visitor. Matt was already dressed and had downed half a pot of the strongest coffee he could stand by the time Kiernan wandered, bleary-eyed, into the kitchen.

  “Sorry. We talked late and then overslept…”

  “We’ve still got time. But we’ll have to leave…” Matt turned, and the words died in his throat. Kiernan was wearing jeans and a snug red T-shirt. Matt was so distracted by the fit across his muscled chest and flat stomach it took him a moment to read what was written there. When he did, he made a startled sound.

  Kiernan glanced up and grinned as Aidan came into the room and rolled her eyes.

  “You cannot wear that shirt in public,” she said, scowling at him.

  He looked down at it and back up, blinking guilelessly. “What’s wrong with it?”

  “Well, first of all, it’s so tight I’m surprised you can breathe. No one needs to see your little boy nipples.”

  “Hey,” Kiernan protested.

  “And secondly,” she went on, “I will not be seen with someone wearing a shirt that declares he puts his feet back and spreads them for the police.”

  Matt snorted, unable to contain his amusement even with his hand over his mouth.

  She shot him an arch look. “You are not helping. Do not encourage him.”

  “Don’t worry,” Kiernan assured his sister. “I’ve learned something new being here in all of this snow.” He picked up a black sweater he’d tossed on the table and pulled it on over his head. “Layers, sister mine. You need to dress in layers.”

  The drive to the train station was slowed by crawling rush hour traffic. Matt dropped Kiernan and Aidan off with her luggage and went to park as they made their way into the crowded station. By the time he caught up with them, they were standing near one of the train’s open doors. Aidan was talking rapid
ly.

  “Remember to eat. I mean it, Kier. And try to get some sleep. You know what happens when you get overtired. Consider checking back into the Hilton, will you, please? I know you’re all caught up in it right now, but…” She saw Matt approaching and bit her lip. “Just use your head, all right?” She studied Kiernan’s face. “I don’t like leaving you here.”

  Kiernan tugged a strand of her long, dark hair. “Relax, Mum,” he teased. “I’m a big boy.”

  She enveloped him in a fierce hug. “Take care of yourself. Please.”

  He patted her affectionately on the back. “I’ll be fine.”

  Aidan’s eyes lifted to Matt, fiercely blue in the bright morning light. “If anything happens to him, I’m holding you personally responsible.”

  “I’ll make sure he’s all right,” Matt promised solemnly, and he meant every word.

  Aidan nodded curtly and stepped back. “All right, then.” She smoothed her hands over Kiernan’s shoulders. “No longer than a week, Kier. I mean it. You have things to do at home.”

  Kiernan dropped his hands into his pockets. “Say hi to Brian for me.”

  “I will.” Aidan’s cell phone rang, and she answered it with a brusque greeting, holding an abbreviated conversation before she hung up. “That was the Hilton,” she said as she dropped the phone back into her pocket. “There’s something at the front desk for you. I told them you’d come by and get it. Don’t forget!”

  Finally, as the doors down the train began to slide closed, she had no choice but to board, hauling her rolling suitcase behind her. They lingered on the platform as the train pulled out, Kiernan waving cheerfully until his sister disappeared from view. He turned and looked up at Matt, eyes avid.

  “So, where to now?”

  “Breakfast. I’m starving.” They headed toward the exit.

  “Cool. Me too. I don’t suppose you have a Denny’s here? I’m a total sucker for the Meat Lovers Scramble.” He wiggled his dark brows at Matt mischievously, the double entendre clear.