Walking Through Shadows

by Sheri Lewis Wohl

  She took a breath and started to argue some more, then changed her mind. Winnie might have a good point. If she stayed here, she’d just sit around moping and probably drink way more wine than was good for her. At least if she was hiking along the river, she’d be busy, and the endorphin release would help make her feel less depressed without needing alcoholic intervention. “All right, third wheel it is.”

  Winnie’s smile lit up her face. “That a girl. Trust me, it’ll be fun.”

  Now that she’d had a few minutes away from the catastrophe, she could put things more into perspective and realized what she had to do if she was to leave town for a stretch of time. She finished off the last sip of latte and set the cup on the table. “Before we go, I want to walk back to the store.”

  Winnie rolled her eyes. She knew exactly why Molly wanted to go back to the bakery. When friends were as close as they were, they couldn’t hide much from each other. “Come on. You know that stuff is just fantasy.”

  Molly wasn’t offended. She understood where Winnie was coming from. Few believed in the power of her birthright. It had taken her a lifetime to even begin to understand a tiny bit of it, and she still didn’t know it all—just that the powers were passed from mother to daughter and continued generation after generation. As the most recent of the witches in her line, she felt it important to leave a blessing on her bakery before she walked away. Her powers were far from established yet, though her family assured her that they would come in time. Right now, she did what she could with what she had. In this moment of extreme powerlessness, it made her feel as though she could take back a little.

  She put a hand on Winnie’s and smiled for the first time since the call had come in from the fire department. “Humor me.”

  * * *

  Winnie stood in the bedroom doorway and watched Angus fold clothes and tuck them into the dark-green pack. God, he was beautiful. Not that she’d ever tell him. He’d hate it, but there it was. His thick black hair and hypnotic green eyes had sucked her in the first time they met. It wasn’t his looks that had locked up her heart though. Lots of pretty-boys were around and were plenty shallow enough to think that was what mattered. Not to Winnie. She was far more attracted to his brains and his courage and his passion. Not long after they’d met, she’d realized she was hooked. He was the one her soul spoke to.

  That was her blessing and her curse. She knew what he meant to her but didn’t have a clue what she meant to him. Maybe that’s why she’d jumped so quickly on the idea of Molly coming with them on this adventure. She was afraid. It was easy to tell Molly what to do and how to do it, all while sounding supremely confident. It was entirely different when it came to her own life.

  “You’re sure it’s okay for Molly to come along? I really should have called you first.” She’d worried about it all night, and now in the morning sunlight, she was still second-guessing her invitation. In hindsight she’d realized what she’d done could be a major faux pas. This was his trip, and to not ask him first was just plain rude.

  Angus looked up and smiled, the crinkles at the corners of his eyes so appealing. “Babe, I’ve told you, it’s fine. The more the merrier. We’ll have fun, and it will get her mind off the fire.” He walked over and put a hand on her cheek. “It was so kind of you to do this for your friend.”

  She smiled as the warmth of both his words and his touch flowed through her. His open heart always amazed her. She’d never met anyone like him. “I know you wanted some time alone together.”

  “We’ll have time together, but there’s always room for a friend in need.” He kissed the tip of her nose.

  “How did I ever end up with someone like you?” It wasn’t an idle question. He was more than she’d dreamed of, a bright, shining light compared to her dim bulb.

  His smile grew and he winked. “Just lucky, I guess. Now get your arse in gear, and let’s see if that pack of yours is ready to go.”

  She might be a dim bulb, but she was his dim bulb. Her smile matched his, but instead of leaving to get ready, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close for a kiss. “In good time.” She had her own fire burning, and he was just the one to put it out.

  An hour later they loaded their two packs into the back of the dusty SUV Angus loved as much as if it had been a million-dollar sports car. She didn’t see the appeal. Her little hybrid was perfect for just about everything, not to mention quiet and fuel efficient. “Are we missing anything?” he asked as he tucked several gallon bottles of water in beside the packs. Of course, considering all he was putting in the SUV, maybe her hybrid wasn’t quite as perfect as she liked to believe.

  She tilted her head and laughed. “Really? You’re asking me? I’m counting on you to lead the charge on this one. If you want a fabulous dinner for six, I’m your go-to woman, but this,” she pointed to the gear in the back of the SUV, “this is your call.”

  He slung an arm around her shoulders and stared at what they’d piled in. “You do have a point, my lovely. I should undoubtedly double-check my Mistress of the Kitchen’s gear.”

  “Yeah. Good plan.”

  He did it too and, after several minutes of inspection, told her, “Yes. I believe we’re ready to set sail. Molly has a pack?”

  “She said she did. I think she does a little hiking around here with Loba, although I don’t really know what that means in terms of gear.”

  “No worries. I’ll give the contents of hers a look-over too,” he said as he crawled behind the wheel. “Then we’ll get this party started.”

  Winnie leaned back against the seat and smiled. She was ready for an adventure. It had been a long time since she’d taken any days off, and spending it now with the two people she loved the most was perfect. The sun was just beginning to peek over the mountains, filling the morning with a beautiful glow. It was a fantastic way to start a vacation.

  Molly was sitting on the front porch at her house, a light-blue pack at her side, waiting for them. It looked brand-new. Maybe her hiking with Loba was a bit more casual than Winnie thought. Oh well. If Angus could get her squared away, he could do the same for Molly.

  Angus jumped out and jogged over to the step. “Mind if I check that over before we take off?” He inclined his head toward the pack.

  Molly yawned, stretched her arms over her head, and nodded. “Probably a good idea. I haven’t hiked much more than an hour or two at a time. I included what I thought we might need, along with food and water for Loba. Let me know what else I should take. You know I’m used to getting up before dawn to go to work. I don’t usually put together a pack this early in the morning.”

  He rummaged in it and then straightened up, smiling. “Fine job, my dear Molly.” He patted her shoulder. “We’re ready to go.” Angus put the pack alongside theirs, and as Molly crawled into the back passenger seat, Loba jumped up beside her.

  “All right, scout leader, where are we going?” Molly asked.

  Angus put an arm on the back of the seat and turned to face her. “How are you?”

  She blew out a long breath. “To be honest, Angus, I’m not sure. My life just went up in smoke. I don’t know if I should dig deep and be strong or say screw it and go find a regular job. Let somebody else worry about the business while all I do is bake.”

  He nodded. “Been there, my lady. But,” he turned to Winnie and smiled, “I say dig deep. You never know what’s waiting for you on the other side. If you give up, you’ll never know.”

  Winnie’s heart swelled. It was no big mystery why she loved this witty, adventurous man, though she continued to hold back and not tell him. Fear always blocked her. She couldn’t risk him rejecting her love. All the what-ifs cascaded in on her any time she gave it serious consideration.

  It was easy enough to advise others, like Molly, but when it came to herself, she was a coward. Maybe she had the strength and just hadn’t uncovered it yet. Or maybe she didn’t. She was too chicken to find out. She opted instead to live for the moment, s
atisfied with the tenderness he shared in words like these. It was enough.

  She returned his smile with a sincere one. “He’s right, you know, Molly. It looks pretty bleak right now, and yesterday was a very bad day. By this time next week, though, I’m betting things will be very different.”

  “Lord, I hope so.”

  Winnie reached back and took her hand. “It will, I promise, and we’ll be right at your side.”

  Molly squeezed her hand, and a small smile did wonders for her face. “I’m going to hold you to it.”

  “Deal.”

  It was about three hours before they reached Umatilla, Oregon. Angus muttered that they would have gotten here quicker if they hadn’t stopped in Kennewick for coffee. As far as Winnie was concerned, it was no big deal. After all, it wasn’t like they had a schedule to keep. The day was young and all theirs to do as they pleased. Now that they were here, they would hike the trail along the Umatilla River for an hour or two, let Angus take his pictures, and then pile back into the SUV to head farther down the highway to the Columbia River.

  They’d have enough time to hike a little bit there too before they would find a hotel for the night. Tomorrow, they’d start all over again—travel along the river and hike a new trail. It would be a grand adventure that would hopefully take Molly’s mind off the fire. Or at least take some of the sting out of the tragedy.

  This should be an interesting trip for all of them—challenging for her and Molly, given they were not the types to get out and enjoy nature on a regular basis. And challenging for Angus as he herded two non-nature women. Loba, well, Winnie figured, she could roll with anything. It was going to be fun.

  Chapter Two

  1837

  Aquene felt the change the moment the spirit entered her, and she knew what she must do. Tiloukaikt also understood the journey she was compelled to take, and he gave her his blessing. The Great Spirit had bestowed an honor upon her, and she would do everything in her power to live up to it. For Tiloukaikt it did not matter that she was not one of his warriors. He embraced the spiritual journey as deeply as he did the way of the warrior, only one of the reasons he would one day become a powerful leader of her people.

  Nearby, Tilla stood patiently waiting. She was a good horse, a beautiful horse, with her pale hair and black mane. She had been Aquene’s since she was a colt trying to stand on unsteady legs, and they had grown up, becoming equal partners. Now was no different, for they would discover the path of enlightenment together just as they had experienced life together. She could not picture a world where she did not share each step with Tilla. When her horse was with her, Aquene was never alone.

  In her pouch she placed dried salmon, fresh and dried berries, a smaller bag with dried herbs, and the beads her mother had worn before she traveled on to the spirit world. Around her neck hung a small leather bag filled with what she knew not and did not need to, for it was a gift of protection that gave her great comfort. She would not require much else, for she was skilled at many things. Had she been born male, she would have been a warrior. She did not care that she was not a man. The Great Spirit had seen fit to make her as she was, and she found no shame in that. Though she did not fully understand what she was to discover at the end of her quest, she knew it would be the thing that would fulfill her destiny.

  “Must you go?” Alumpum stood patting Tilla, a frown on her face. Tilla snorted, and Aquene smiled. She sometimes believed that Tilla was jealous of Alumpum, thinking she loved her more.

  As with Tilla, Aquene had grown up with Alumpum. Side by side they had learned to make the knee-high moccasins each of them wore now. Their mothers had taught them to weave the mats that, as one, they could use to build a house and just as easily take it back down. They could dry the salmon caught along the banks of the river, dig rich roots, and pick the berries so wonderfully sweet. Together they had learned the magic of the herbs that could make powerful medicines. It was as if they had been born of one mother rather than two.

  Now the universe was taking them in different directions. Soon Alumpum would join Ouray, and they would share their lives until their days were done. It made Aquene happy for her sister-friend. She thought of her with children and knew what a good mother Alumpum was meant to become.

  But it was not to be for her. Many young men had made clear their interest in Aquene, and though she tried to feel happiness in their offers, she could not find it within herself. She did not experience the joy inside that she could see on Alumpum’s face each time she gazed upon Ouray. Her heart did not capture the sunshine that lived inside her friend. She did not believe it ever could.

  She put a hand on Alumpum’s shoulder. “I must go. The Great Spirit,” she looked out over the horizon, “tells me I must follow the wind. Out there my destiny is waiting for me. I can almost hear it calling.” It was what she felt deeply inside her. A will that seemed to come from somewhere magical pushed her forward, away from the place she called home and the people she loved. Fear did not hold her back, for she was ready to take the first step.

  “Why can you not stay? Wynono looks at you with longing. He would give you strong children and much happiness. He would treat you well. You would live a good life together.” The pleading in her voice touched a warm place inside her.

  Aquene smiled. She knew of the look in Wynono’s eyes. Many times she had seen it, and her heart was sad for him. She could not return to him what he offered her so freely. It could never be, and she did not desire to give him false hope. She would not do that to him or any other man of her people. She must stay true to her heart and her calling. With this journey even Wynono would at last see and understand that her path was away from him and not to him. He would find another and, with her, the happiness she would deny him.

  Aquene leaned into Tilla, inhaling the unique, musky smell of the horse. It soothed her, as did the feel of her coat against Aquene’s cheek. In a moment, she pulled away and looked over at Alumpum. “He would, my sister, and yet I will not take from him what I cannot return to him. My heart is not his. It will never be.”

  Alumpum put her hand on Aquene’s face, her eyes dark and soulful. For a long breath her friend stared into her face. At last a calm expression crossed her features, and she nodded slowly. “Your heart belongs to no man, my sister. I believe I have always known and did not speak of it, for I wanted you to be as I am. You are not, and that is as it should be.”

  Her friend at last understood what many of her people yet did not. She knew of Aquene’s deepest desire and did not judge her because of it. Her friend was forever faithful to her, and it made her heart full. “You speak the truth.”

  The smile that turned up the corner of Alumpum’s mouth made her eyes light up. “You are true and kind, wise and powerful. You are destined to make the Liksiyu the most powerful of all people. I feel the truth of it right here.” She placed her hand over her heart.

  Of this, Aquene was not as certain. Nothing about this journey was clear to her except that she was compelled to go without company from any other. The path was hers alone to take, save for Tilla. Out there waiting for her was enlightenment and, most exciting, the future. It was important in ways she did not fully understand and, in reality, did not need to on this day. It was enough, for she had learned to be very patient.

  Tiloukaikt joined Aquene and Alumpum. His faced was lined, his hair long and held back with a leather tie. His dark eyes could be cold and ferocious when they needed to be. They did not need to be so on this day. As he gazed into her face, his eyes soft and kind, it warmed her. Yes, one day he would certainly be a most powerful and wonderful leader. “You are ready?” His voice was deep and rich. She had always loved listening to him as he spoke in the language of their people. Like Aquene, he too could speak in the tongue of those who came to their land, but it was a language that did not hold the beauty and melody of their own.

  She nodded and smiled. His visible belief in her made her even stronger. “I am ready.” Tears pooled
in Alumpum’s eyes. Aquene’s were dry.

  He put one hand on her head and stared deeply into her eyes. “There is power inside you, special one, and you must use it to survive what awaits you beyond the horizon. You will be challenged. You will be hunted. No man and no beast will harm you, for you carry within you the power of the Liksiyu. Always remember.”

  To hear such praise from the man who was destined for greatness made her heart strong. She witnessed the might in him grow day by day. She felt power gather around him like storm clouds collecting in the sky. Like Aquene, he would soon realize his destiny, and she was sad that she would not be there to see it. She could not say why she knew this to be true, only that she did. His words made her believe that he too knew the truth of her journey. This was the last time they would gaze upon each other.

  “I will do my best to seek the knowledge of the universe and bring it home.” Even as she spoke the words, they felt strange.

  Tiloukaikt stared into her eyes for a long time, then slowly shook his head. “I know the Great Spirit will not bring you home to us. I see it in your eyes, and I hear it on the wind.”

  Fear whispered through her for the first time. It was one thing to feel the tremors of change in her own mind, but to have one such as Tiloukaikt echo her thoughts back to her sent the winter breeze into her heart. “I will return.” Her words sounded hollow even to her.

  His eyes turned sad as he said to her, “Your feet will touch this ground once more, but we shall not gaze upon each other again. Go, with the hearts of our people, and know that we are always with you.”

  His words were not a mystery as she shared the wisdom behind them. Yet though she knew them to be true, she did not understand why. She longed to see the whole story, but it had not been shown to her. One day it would all become clear. She would cling to that faith in order to have the strength to leave her home.