Forbidden Bad Boys (Small Town Forbidden Romance Box Set)

by Holly Jaymes

  The door opened and closed. “Oh good, you’re here,” Lily’s voice chimed through the condo.

  “Lily, honey. What are you doing here?” My mother rose from her chair and hugged her.

  “I came to see Pax. He’s not taking my calls.”

  “Let me get you some tea.” My mother went to the kitchen.

  “I don’t want to talk to you.” I was in this miserable state because of her. Well, because of me, but she’d made me doubt Victoria. Made me doubt my feelings. I was such a fucking pussy.

  “I saw her the other day,” Lily said, taking the seat my mother just vacated.

  I shut my eyes. “I know you mean well, Lil, but every time you come around me when Victoria is involved, you fuck things up.”

  “I know.” She sat back and stared out at the ocean. “The first time, in London, I was so mad. I just… Victoria was my friend. You were my brother. If you two hooked up, where would I be?”

  I glanced over at her. “That’s why you lost your shit?”

  She sighed. “I wouldn’t have been able to articulate it then. Or even a few days ago. But I’ve been going over it with Wyatt and he’s helped me see it. Growing up, it was you and me, Pax. And then I made friends with Victoria and she was my rock. Our lives didn’t offer a lot of stability, but for me there was you, and once I started modeling and going on my own, I had her. I think I worried I’d be left out.”

  They say that hindsight is twenty-twenty. What they don’t say is that figuring things out from the past didn’t change shit.

  “This time, coming home and finding out you married her, I don’t know what happened. I was a bitch. I don’t understand it myself. I mean I have Wyatt. God, he and I even had a fight over it. He was like what about me. You have me. I thought I was so together, but I’m really not.”

  “So, it wasn’t about protecting me?” I glanced at her, knowing she was trying to help, but I was just feeling worse listening to her.

  “It was, some. Victoria is a very independent woman who moves through the world with a mask on. She’s fiercely loyal, which clearly, I’m not, except with you. But she’s guarded and singularly focused on her business. I don’t know how you were thinking it would work out, unless you were planning to move back here.”

  “Maybe I was.”

  Lily flinched and then looked down. “I didn’t realize just how deep your feelings ran.”

  “No, you didn’t. You didn’t even ask. You just attacked her.” I set my bottle down and ran my hands through my hair as another wave of guilt rolled through me. “I should have told you to go to hell.”

  She nodded. “Yeah, probably.”

  “You said you saw her… How was she?” A part of me hoped she was moving on. That I was nothing but a minor blip, but then of course, that would mean she didn’t care for me and Lily would have been right.

  Lily let out a self-deprecating laugh. “Allie went all warrior on me, as I deserved. I’m the worst friend ever. She didn’t forgive. And she won’t. I can see it in her eyes.”

  “But how’d she look?”

  Lily closed her eyes and then looked at me. “Gutted.”

  I dug the heels of my palms into my eyes. “Fuck.”

  “So what are you going to do about it?” my mother asked, bringing Lily a cup of tea.

  “There’s nothing I can do,” I said, lifting the bottle to drink again. “I tried and she said no. I can’t really blame her. I’d don’t much like being with me either.”

  My mother rolled her eyes. “You two are pathetic. There’s always something you can do.”

  “You’re not really one to talk about relationships, Mom,” Lily said.

  “Oh, I don’t know. Your dad and I never worked out being married, but through the years, we’ve always loved each other. Always respected each other. And when in similar proximity, spent time together. It’s unconventional, but it works for us.”

  “I wouldn’t take me back. Twice now, I’ve been a fucking asshole to her,” I said.

  “Well, you don’t have control over what she does. Only what you do. Not doing anything because you’re afraid she’ll reject you, isn’t good enough. If you love her, you try, and keep trying until she gets a restraining order..”

  I groaned as I leaned back in the chair and rubbed my hand over my heart, wondering if it would ever stop hurting.

  My mom sat on the arm of the chair Lily was in. “Do you know how I always knew what was going on in your life?”

  “How?” I asked.

  “Your music. You asked if I thought you were capable of love, and I know you are because some of your love songs are so beautiful, Pax. But they were songs of yearning, which tells me you’ve known love and want it, but don’t have it. And then there’s the song, Everyone Leaves.” My mother sighed. “When I heard that, I knew I’d messed up as a mom. Or that I should have gotten you therapy or something.”

  My stomach clenched. I didn’t need my mother psychoanalyzing me.

  “I remember that song. I totally related to it,” Lily said. “Maybe that’s why you so easily let me sway you. Because you’re afraid it won’t last. That she’ll leave you like Mom and Dad did. Like I did.”

  I hated how weak that all made me sound. But I was weak.

  I looked at Lily. “I let you steal her song.”

  She frowned. “God that was true?”

  “I’d written that when she was with me in London. I even named it Victoria’s Song.”

  “Oh God, Pax.

  “It killed me to play it and see in her eyes that she remembered it. And you’re right, she’s guarded, but wouldn’t you be too if you had people like us around?”

  “Look, we’re all flawed,” my mother said. “But you’re not bad people. Even if Victoria never wants to look at you again, the both of you have to make amends because you are good people.”

  “Pax.”

  I looked at Lily. “Don’t just make amends. Fight for her. She loves you. I think she has since we were teenagers. If you love her, fight for her. Let her knock you down a few times and get up and fight again. She may need to see that to know you’re serious.”

  I knew what she was saying was true, but I didn’t know how to fight. I wasn’t the man Victoria deserved and so it seemed cruel to ask for her love again.

  “You can be the man she deserves,” my mother said as if she’d read my mind. “But first, take a shower.”

  Chapter 25: One Foot In Front Of the Other

  Victoria

  I sat in my office in Los Angeles, reading through the updated launch plan for Radiance. It had been a week since I’d returned from Eden Lake. I still felt like my insides had been completely gutted, but somehow, I was putting one foot in front of the other. I’d turned my focus on my business and getting Lisbeth on board for our marketing campaign. I did all I could to put Pax out of my mind, although my subconscious would cruelly bring him back in my dreams.

  I hadn’t received any divorce papers, so he apparently figured our estrangement was a good thing in his attempt to keep his image clean. I had Galen set up Google Alerts to notify us of any news about our marriage. So far, there’d been nothing.

  “You should just get out of the marriage,” Allie had said. “He doesn’t deserve your help in saving his image.”

  No, but it took all the energy I had just to get through my workday. I didn’t have anything left to figure out what to do about the marriage. Not yet, anyway.

  So for now, I’d focus on my business.

  “So, what do you think of this plan?” Galen asked, sitting on the couch in my office.

  “It’s good.”

  He frowned, and I knew he was annoyed at my lackluster response. “Why don’t I insist Lisbeth come here to sign the papers and finish the deal? There’s no reason you should go back to Eden Lake, except to visit your sister.”

  I ran my hands over my face as Lisbeth’s request came back to me. “I got invited to do a winter show out there. Dane said it would
be a good place to test out some of my new stuff since it’s a small venue but there are often celebs there who can spread the word.”

  “How about you come to my office after your show,” I’d said. It would be a while before I’d go back to Eden Lake. Even Allie agreed to come here to visit me instead of me having to go there.

  “When I’m done there, I’ll be in the studio. I really won’t have a lot of time. I really want to do this with you, but that will be the best time for us to get it done.”

  So, it was with great reluctance that I’d agreed to go to Eden Lake for Winterfest.

  “She’ll be busy,” I answered Galen. I’d see Allie and Josh, meet with Lisbeth, and come home. If I was lucky, I’d avoid Lily, and I was pretty sure Pax was back in England, although there hadn’t been any news about him.

  The Winterfest was a weekend-long event, starting Friday night which was when Lisbeth was going to be performing. I drove over to Eden Lake Friday afternoon, spent some time with Allie. Luckily, she didn’t bring up Pax or Lily. We mostly talked about her pregnancy and plans for the baby.

  That evening, I went with Allie and Josh to the event. I’d promised Lisbeth I’d watch her show. Although there were resorts with large ballrooms for entertainment, since this was an Eden Lake event, it was held in a local recreation center. The event raised money for local social and charitable groups. The large recreation room was set up to look similar to a nightclub. There were round tables throughout the dimly-lit room and they served wine and fancy finger foods.

  I sat at the table and like I often did, I pushed all my baggage away and attempted to focus on the moment.

  Allie’s hand rubbed my back as she leaned over to me. “Someday, big sis’, you’re not going to always have to walk around with your shields up.”

  I managed a smile although I was pretty sure I wouldn’t ever let them down again.

  The stage lit up and Lisbeth was introduced. Like she’d done in the nightclub in Vegas, she sat alone on a stool with her guitar and sang. Many of the songs she’d done before, but there were some new ones, including one called Love Lights in Vegas.

  “She’s good,” Josh said next to Allie.

  “And she loves Victoria’s Radiance line.” Allie smiled at me.

  Seriously, she was the best sister ever.

  Lisbeth finished her song and then leaned forward into the microphone. “When I started this journey, I was excited to be able to make a living from my music, my passion, but also to meet others who were doing the same. I remember my mother warning me that it could be a disappointment to meet your idols. A couple of weeks ago, I met my biggest idol. I actually spent the entire evening with him along with my husband and another friend, Victoria. Who, by the way, has a fantastic skincare line coming out. Oh my God, my face has never been softer and pimple-free.”

  There was a laugh from the audience, but I didn’t feel any humor. I knew she was about to talk about Pax, and I couldn’t bear it.

  “Anywho,” Lisbeth continued. “So, I met this bigger-than-life rock star and in some ways my mom was right. On the one hand, he was a regular guy, down to earth, you know. Not one of those conceited types. But on the other, he didn’t seem to have a lot of life in him until I saw him with my friend Victoria.”

  “God, is she talking about Pax?” Allie asked.

  I nodded.

  “He told me once I needed to stay grounded. To be true to me and my music. When I talked to him the other day, I told him he needed to do the same. He’s been writing new stuff and he’d like to share it with you, if you’d be interested. In case you don’t know who I’m talking about, let me introduce my friend, Pax Ryder.”

  There was a large gasp in the room, followed by shouting and clapping. Pax stepped out on the stage, giving Lisbeth a hug, and a kiss on the cheek. God. He looked so sexy in his signature butter-soft jeans, a black t-shirt and his guitar.

  “I think I’m going to get some air,” I said, leaning over to Allie.

  She gave me a sympathetic smile.

  “Hello, Eden Lake,” he said into the mic.

  A loud “hello” came back from the crowd. I stood, hoping he wouldn’t see me since I was in the back.

  “This place is fantastic. I just spent a couple of weeks out here. They were the best weeks of my life.”

  I stopped short and closed my eyes as pain rolled through me.

  “I don’t know if you heard, but I got married.”

  I jerked around to look at him, as anger replaced the pain. Did he really think I’d go along with his project to protect his image now? After what he’d done?

  “She’s the most beautiful, smart, warm, fiercely loyal woman I’ve ever met.” His gaze was scanning the room until they landed on me. “But I’m the worst husband in the entire world.”

  The crowd made a collected “huh” or “aw” sound.

  “I’m going to lose her because of it.”

  There was another gasp from the audience.

  “Fight for her, Pax,” someone yelled out.

  He smiled. “I intend to.”

  I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t get my legs to move.

  “My mother told me recently that she always knew what was going on in my life through my music. Six years ago, I met my wife-to-be, and well, I messed up then too. But I wrote a song called All Night in London...”

  The audience clapped, apparently thinking he’d play the song. I’d hated that song. Well, actually I thought it was wonderful, but it had always reminded me of our time six years ago.

  “It was my first hit. But when I wrote it, it wasn’t the fast tune you hear on the radio or in my concerts. It was a slow song. A love song. I’d like to play it for you now as it was originally written.”

  I looked over at Allie’s table. She was watching me.

  Pax strummed his guitar and cleared his voice. “Victoria, I love you. I hope this proves that I have loved you since we spent all night in London.”

  He started to play and that sexy, smooth voice of his sang about falling in love in a single night.

  “He means it.”

  I jumped as Lily’s voice sounded next to me. That was just too much. I started to leave.

  “No, please don’t go, Victoria. At least let him play for you. Don’t let me mess this up again.”

  “You two have some nerve.” Tears streamed down my cheeks.

  “I know. We’re terrible. Of all the people to hurt, we hurt the one that loved us most. The one person who’d been there for us. We definitely don’t deserve you. Or your forgiveness. And I know I’ve lost your friendship, which I’ll regret forever, but I won’t be able to live with ruining the love you and Pax had.”

  I turned to her. “He did that.”

  “He knows. Just listen to him, will you? I know you don’t have to, but please. Give him a chance.”

  Wyatt appeared next to her, and kissed her head. I helped her find her happiness, I thought. And all she’d done was take mine away.

  “Remember when I was getting ready to leave town with my mother and Wyatt was calling frantically, looking for me?” Lily said.

  I nodded.

  “You told him off and then you told him where he could find me. And when he showed up, I listened. I gave him a chance.” She watched me for a moment. “This is the phone call, Victoria. This is me trying to put right what I did wrong, and Pax is wanting the same. Just listen.”

  She smiled, and reached out, putting her hand on my arm. I moved away, not wanting her compassion. She gave me a sad smile, and then walked away toward a table where Mason and Willa sat.

  Wyatt stopped next to me. “She knows she’s been a terrible friend. I think what both she and Pax have recently discovered is that they have more baggage than they thought from their childhood.”

  “So, get a therapist,” I quipped.

  He nodded. “It’s probably a good idea. But I think the reason Lily didn’t know the extent of her baggage was because of you. You were her ro
ck, and she let her jealousy and fear of losing Pax get in the way of that.”

  I looked at him. “Now I’ll be the bad guy if I don’t forgive them, but this isn’t the first time.”

  He shook his head. “You won’t be the bad guy. They know. They know they don’t deserve anything from you but your disdain. But take it from a guy who realized too late what he had and nearly lost it, the guilt and gnawing need to make it right is real. And because Lily forgave me, we have another chance.” He also touched my arm and I didn’t pull away. He gave me a smile and then followed his wife.

  I looked up at Pax, still playing, still singing, still keeping his eyes on me.

  “I discovered the love of my life all night in London,” he sang out the last words.

  There was clapping but he seemed to ignore it.

  He stepped up to the microphone again. “I wrote a new song this week. Initially I titled it, I’m a F-ing A-hole.”

  There was laughter in the room.

  “But now it’s titled Victoria’s Second Song.”

  A few people who knew me looked over as it dawned on them who I was.

  “Hey, Victoria,” Lisbeth said as she and Ethan joined me. “You’re not leaving, are you? You have to give him a chance.”

  I looked at her, wanting to be angry at her too, because she started all this with her Vegas marriage.

  “I’m sorry I pulled that wedding stunt. I still feel like you two are meant to be, but it was wrong of me to prove my point like that,” she said.

  “Is that why you’ve finally agreed to sign?” Then a new thought came to me. “Pax arranged this, right? That’s why you’re here. All this is another thing that he’ll say I manipulated or used him for.”

  “No. I mean, yes, he called me about this Winterfest thing. He used me as bait to lure you in. But I’m going to sign, Victoria. I decided that in Vegas, remember?”

  It was all too much.

  “I don’t deserve you. I never did. I probably never will,” Pax sang, his gaze still on me. “But I promise to love you forever and beyond…”