Living Separate Lives

by Paulette Harper

  Candace chuckled. “Yes, I know. I’m doing okay,” she said cautiously.

  “It’s so good to hear from you. Where are you?” Kaylan waited with anticipation for an answer.

  “I’m back in Pittsburg. Didn’t think I’d return to my old roots, but here I am,” replied Candace.

  “Well, I’m in Napa County, which isn’t far. We have to get together. I’d love to see you,” Kaylan retorted.

  “Yeah, I think it’s time. Do you keep in contact with Tiffany and Jordan?” asked Candace.

  “Not like we should. Our schedules are so hectic. But that’s no excuse. We’ve got to do better about staying connected. We should plan something so we can all get together. A little mini-reunion would be so much fun,” Kaylan replied.

  There was a long silence before Candace spoke. “Well, that would be great.” Kaylan detected the uneasiness in Candace’s voice. Her curiosity wanted to know why Candace had called after all this time. She cleared her throat before asking.

  “Candace, what’s going on? I’m picking up that all is not well.” Kaylan was persistent, and she was not letting Candace hang up the phone without telling her why she called. Kaylan asked again, “Candace, what’s wrong?”

  Candace waited a few minutes before replying. “Yeah, there has been a lot going on; not sure where to begin.” She paused before continuing. “First, my boyfriend, Derrick, died from kidney failure about three months ago, and I’ve had a hard time dealing with the loss. I’ve had plenty of time to think about how my life was in so much chaos.” Kaylan could hear Candace’s voice begin to quiver as she continued. “I’ve gotten so far away from God and don’t know how to get back on track. What’s worse is I just got a layoff notice from my job.” Candace cleared her throat and said, “When it rains, it pours.”

  Kaylan eyes filled with tears while she listened to Candace share her story. She waited before she spoke. “Wow! Candace, I’m so sorry to hear about Derrick. Sounds like you have been through the wringer with one thing after another.” Kaylan shook her head. “My heart goes out to you. Candace, what can I do to help you?”

  “I’d love to see you sometime next week, if that’s possible. Can we meet for coffee and we can talk more then?” Candace asked.

  “Yes, Candace, we can,” Kaylan replied. “You name the place and I’ll take the drive to see you. Whatever you need, we’ll work together to get you through this season in your life.”

  “Okay. I’m looking forward to seeing you next week,” Candace said with excitement. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

  After hanging up the phone, Kaylan’s heart went out towards Candace. She remembered when Candace refused to take her help years ago when she tried to get her to speak in depth about her life. Things must have gotten pretty bad for Candace to call Kaylan after all this time.

  Kaylan’s thoughts were racing after the conversation. She set her cell phone on the small table, grabbed some Kleenex located next to the chair, and began to sob and pray.

  “Lord, my heart is heavy about Candace. What can I do to help her and bring all of us together?

  Fifteen minutes later, the sobs subsided and she reached for her cell phone to see the time. It was 7:30 am. She had two hours to get ready for work. I must look a mess, she imagined, with tears running down her face. She grabbed more tissue and cleaned herself up. Minutes later, she rose from the seat, and headed toward the bathroom.

  On her way there, she took a look in her closet to decide what she would wear today. She leaned her body up against the door frame, and observed just how blessed she was. Her walk-in closet was big enough to be a bedroom, filled with name brand clothes, some with the price tags still attached. Kaylan, if she wanted to, could change clothes three or four times in a day. Her shoes, too many to count, had a section by themselves, all organized by color.

  Kaylan stepped into her closet, grabbed her robe, and headed to her bathroom to take a shower. The warm, running water calmed her nerves, which were rattled a little by the shock of hearing from Candace after all these years. Her mind wondered if she had done enough to help Candace. Had she done enough to help the less fortunate? Could she have done more?

  Kaylan’s heart ached for people who were less fortunate and those who didn’t grow up in a loving family environment. Maybe that’s why she was drawn to Candace. She recalled the many times she tried to extend her generosity to Candace by offering her help. But Candace’s pride kept her from accepting any, as she called it, “handouts”. Kaylan just couldn’t understand why her friend continued to live the way she did, knowing that at the drop of a hat, Kaylan would have done anything for her. All that mattered now was how she was going to help Candace get her life together.

  She made her way out of the bathroom and had just enough time to eat breakfast. The smell of bacon was lingering in the air, which caused her to be hungry. She strolled into her kitchen and found the pot of coffee already made and her breakfast prepared by Bryan. He posted a note on the microwave that read, “I love you. See you tonight.”

  She poured herself some coffee, retrieved her plate out of the microwave, and pulled out a chair at the wooden table so she could eat her meal. Kaylan stared at the note Bryan left for her, and his thoughtfulness brought back memories of how they met.

  During college, Kaylan prayed that God would give her a mate. Not just any mate, but someone who was progressive, someone who wanted the finer things in life, and someone that, most importantly, loved Jesus and had a heart for the less fortunate. She believed God answered her prayer when she met Bryan during her freshman year.

  One day while she walked down the hall, tightly holding her books with her eyes focused on her schedule, she did not notice Bryan walking directly towards her. Without breaking his stride, he accidentally bumped into her. She lost her balance, and all of her books scattered across the floor. As Bryan assisted her with her belongings, their eyes gazed at one another. She was the most beautiful woman Bryan had ever seen.

  When they started dating, Bryan shared with Kaylan that his parents wanted him to marry someone of his color. But Bryan was determined not to let his parents dictate who he was going to love. He tried to assure Kaylan that his family would look beyond her color and see her for the beautiful woman she was. Kaylan could never understand how people who said they were Christians refused to accept someone based on the color of their skin. Thinking about these memories caused tears to fill her eyes, and she was immediately brought back to the present.

  Kaylan finished her breakfast and tidied up the kitchen; she headed for the bedroom where she would do one final inspection. She decided on the black wrap dress that highlighted her curves and the four-inch black red bottom pumps that Bryan purchased for her. She put the finishing touches on her makeup by applying some Bobby Brown Blackberry lipstick. A light blot of powder was reapplied to remove the shine from her forehead and cheeks. Satisfied with her appearance, she grabbed her purse, keys, and briefcase and headed out the door.

  In the garage, Kaylan sat behind the wheel of her Mercedes, pondering on how she could get the ladies together for a “mini-retreat”. She admitted that it had been too long since they got together. The business of life should never keep friends apart. She wondered how Jordan and Tiffany were doing. She knew each of the ladies had their own personal demons to deal with and their own issues that impacted each one differently. She thought about Jordan with the challenges she faced being unequally yoked with her husband and Tiffany’s concern that she would never get married. Clearly, each one of them had gone through some rough challenges in life, but which one, if any, had really been healed? Thinking about her friends caused her to reminisce on the time they all first met.

  She met these ladies in her freshman year of high school. There was an immediate bond with them all. They went to the movies, school games, parties, and dinners together. They truly had a sisterhood.

  Maybe the retreat could be the start of rekindling their relationship with one another. She knew God
had blessed her to be a blessing to others. So she decided to speak with Bryan to get the okay for her to plan a weekend retreat right there on the vineyard. She’d have them all come to her house.

  With a plan in mind, Kaylan started up her car and headed to work.

  Chapter 3

  I’m getting rid of you before you get rid of me, were the thoughts Tiffany rehearsed in her mind as she drove to the Lake Chalet restaurant on Lakeside Drive. She was going to meet Jeffrey, her “boo” there to discuss the nature of their relationship. Lake Chalet was the first restaurant that she and Jeffrey ate at when they first met. Now, ironically, this would be the same place that she would call off their relationship.

  Experience had been a great teacher for Tiffany Thomas. At the rate she and Jeffrey were going, it was only a matter of time before he got up the nerve to break her heart like so many of her other boyfriends had done, at least this is what she thought. She heard the same song over and over again; the men she dated all seemed to share the same brain. The rhetoric was exactly alike: “I’m not thinking about getting married, at least no time soon.” they would say. They usually made mention of this whenever Tiffany tried to get them to “define their relationship”. But that would end right here.

  She promised herself that this time she was not going to get dumped first. If anyone was going to do the dumping, it was going to be her. Consequently, she realized that being committed to this relationship was not something that Jeffrey wanted. And Tiffany was ready to cut the cord before it came back to hang her in the end.

  Tiffany and Jeffrey arrived at the restaurant at the same time. When she maneuvered her Lexus into the first open stall she could find, she turned her car off and took one last look in the mirror to make sure everything was in place. She closed her eyes, sat in silence for a moment, and said a little prayer: “Lord, I need your strength tonight to help me get through this evening. Give me the exact words to speak. Thank you, in Jesus’ name.” She unbuckled her seat belt, climbed out of her Lexus, and walked toward the restaurant to meet Jeffrey.

  A suited gentleman received her with a smile, swung open the door, and escorted her inside where Jeffrey was waiting patiently. He greeted her with a “Hello”. Jeffrey stood, towering over Tiffany at six feet, one inch; he had the most gorgeous, almond-color skin tone. His bald head and goatee reminded Tiffany of how much he resembled Morris Chestnut. Tonight, he wore a pair of brown slacks with a white, long-sleeve turtle neck that fitted snug around his muscular arms. He made it a habit to lift weights, which contributed to his slender frame. He wore the cologne that Tiffany bought for him on his birthday, Allure, by Chanel. She got a good whiff when he kissed her on the cheek.

  Tiffany wondered if she was doing the right thing by breaking off their relationship. He looks so good, she thought. Maybe I’m going too fast. She began to vacillate between her emotions— knowing she must do the right thing versus giving in to her flesh.

  The hostess, who identified herself as Vickie, jarred Tiffany to the present when she said, “Right this way, please.” They were escorted to a quiet spot in the corner of the restaurant at the request of Jeffrey. Jeffrey pulled out a chair for her, and then proceeded to sit across from her in the opposite seat. The hostess handed them their dinner menus, shared what the evening specials were, and took their drink order.

  The two of them eased into conversation by discussing the menu options and choosing their meals. Tiffany chose grilled chicken with a baked potato, and Jeffrey settled on the evening special, salmon. Ten minutes later, Vickie returned with their drink order and took their dinner selections.

  For the next few minutes, they exchanged small talk about their day, what the weather was like, and how well they were doing on their jobs. During the entire exchange, Tiffany’s stomach quivered. She took a swig of her non-alcoholic drink to quell her emotions.

  Seeing her in distress, Jeffrey cocked his head to one side and asked, “What’s wrong with you tonight?”

  Tiffany’s eyes widened. “Just have a lot on my mind. I have to make some difficult decisions about my future.”

  Jeffrey took a sip of his drink. “I hope I’m included in that future.” Vickie could not have timed it more perfectly as she returned with their piping-hot dishes, just in time for Tiffany to avoid Jeffrey’s last remark. Before they ate, they fell silent for a moment of prayer, after which they resumed their subtle conversation and ate their delicious meals.

  Tiffany wasted no time in addressing her agenda. “I’ve been thinking about our conversations of late, about marriage, and the direction of our relationship.”

  “Okay,” Jeffrey said gingerly. “What about it?” he asked between bites.

  “You made it perfectly clear that you have no intentions of marrying me anytime soon.”

  Jeffrey shot back. “That’s correct; but that doesn’t mean I won’t marry you at all. I have strong feelings for you, but I’m not ready to settle down just yet.”

  She could hear the sternness in his voice. “That’s fine, and I respect you for that; but since we are not on the same page with the marriage thing, I believe we need to call off our relationship,” responded Tiffany. “I don’t want to waste my time holding onto a maybe proposal.”

  Jeffrey’s jaw dropped. He thought he was going to be able to string her along for a lot longer than this. “Are you breaking up with me?”

  Tiffany nodded in agreement and continued. “Yes. This relationship is not going in the right direction.”

  Jeffrey leaned back in his chair and said, “Alright.” Still having a half glass of his drink remaining, he grabbed it, and finished it off in one big swallow. He placed the empty glass on the table, stood up, and walked out of the restaurant, never to see Tiffany again.

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  Tiffany parked her white Lexus in front of her home, but made no effort to get out. She sat and reflected on the dinner date she just had with her now ex-boyfriend. She unbuckled her seat belt and rolled down the window to allow the evening breeze to hit her face. She continued listening to her Tamela Mann CD and allowed the melody to calm her racing heart.

  When the song, “Take Me to the King” came on the stereo, she began to sing along as she leaned her head back on the headrest. At that moment, she could identify with the words of the song. Tiffany was frustrated with dating men—uncommitted men. When she glanced out the window and saw a couple that was approaching her car holding hands and laughing with one another, it caused her heart to ache.

  All she needed was Jesus and Jesus alone; at least that’s what she said after the last few men dumped her. “I don’t need any of those uncommitted brothas,” she said silently to herself. “They just can’t handle a strong-willed sista like me.”

  She’d worked her way up to become one of the department managers at East Bay Utility Company in the Bay Area. She had a six-figure income and her own home nestled in the beautiful Piedmont Hills in Oakland, California. The utility company provided a really nice retirement plan. She had all the material things that anyone could have ever wanted; but true, lasting love was something missing in her life. The time clock was ticking, and her chances of ever having a family were slowly decreasing.

  Tiffany had recently dated several men, one being Deacon Lewis from New Castle Missionary Baptist Church. She wanted her relationship with Deacon Lewis to be kept a secret to avoid any gossip in the church; but no, Deacon Lewis let it be known in one of the men’s fellowship meetings that they were dating. She was so hurt when she heard that the men told their wives, and they told their friends and before she knew it, she was getting neck rolls and cutting eyes from the women who evidently thought he was sent from God for them.

  She decided after that fiasco not to date anyone in her church again. Her actions to call the relationship off (if that’s what it was after dating him for only four months) were warranted, as far as she was concerned. It only took her one time to learn a valuable lesson: that men gossip just like, or more than, women. If he told so
mething as simple as the fact that they were dating, when she told him not to, what else would he tell? She never flunked a class in school, and she certainly was not going to flunk this one with men, at least not with Deacon Lewis. Once she saw a man for who he really was, that was it! “Farewell, Godspeed, and adios; I’m done with you,” she would say.

  Tiffany was not one for drama. She avoided it like the plague. To some men, she was considered high maintenance; because of her status, she was a high-class “diva”, they would say. But she paid a great price getting to where she was. Working her way up the corporate ladder took commitment and determination. She made plenty of sacrifices and she was finally seeing some results. Taking those evening classes, working long hours, and saying no to the latest shoe sales paid off. She had come too far to settle for just any man.

  Tiffany shifted her eyes and turned away from the couple; she looked at the picture of her and Jeffrey hanging on her key ring, which brought back memories of happier times they’d had. During those better moments, Jeffrey would sometimes surprise her during her lunch break with a picnic in the park; she remembered the “I love you” texts that would come every morning at 8:00 a.m.; the many times they took a ride down the coast; and the many massages he gave her after working those long hours.

  Tiffany and Jeffrey had dated for only two years, just long enough for the spark to fizzle and the flaws of each other to be revealed. They met on Christianmatchmaker.com, an online social network for singles with six-figure incomes. Against her friend’s advice, she went ahead and registered for a six-month membership. “Don’t do it,” Jordan said. Jordan told Tiffany that some of the men on those social networking sites lie and fabricate the truth, and she wasn’t sure if that was the way God intended Christians to meet.

  Tiffany recalled the conversation she had with Jordan again. “I know I haven’t been saved long,” Jordan said, “but I always hear this preached at church: ‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.’ I believe that’s Proverbs 18:22, correct?” Jordan asked with conviction. “Well, I believe the man is supposed to find you, right?” Jordan asked. All Tiffany remembered thinking about after that conversation was how someone who hadn’t been saved long could tell someone else what to do. But perhaps Jordan was right.