Healing Hearts 4: Mission to Love (Siren Publishing Menage Everlasting)

by Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  She felt guilty, like she shouldn’t talk to him, have feelings for him, especially because of what she did only two weeks ago. She remembered what he looked like dressed in black military gear along with his brothers, Aqua and Simon. They were ready to get Turbin, but she took him out. How could she ever tell them who she really was? This was something she faced for years now. They wouldn’t be a simple pleasure and then she could move on. Mercy was different. Mercy was where ménage relationships shined and people retired, settled down, and had lives together. She didn’t think she was capable of that at all.

  “Morning, April.”

  His deep, sexy voice immediately hit her heart and her pussy somehow. She was shocked. She even placed her hand over her belly, pretending that she was shocked to see him and that he surprised her. She knew he was coming. She was so well trained.

  She looked up toward him, blocking the sun from her eyes despite the cap she wore, by holding her hand over them. He looked so good. He wore his hat, those dark sunglasses where she couldn’t see his eyes. She wondered if he were looking her over because she suddenly felt aroused and every part of her reacted. She was looking him over, too. The tight uniform shirt against thick, bulging muscles was a turn-on. The uniform, the gun, the fact he was a Seal was sexy, and she was certain women threw themselves at him and his brothers all the time. The thought annoyed her. She kept her cool though. It had taken years to have a shielded heart, and she wasn’t faltering now.

  “Morning, Chief,” she said, and he shook his head. He looked around them, with his hands on his hips, and she seemed to have pissed him off somehow.

  She stood up so she wouldn’t hurt her neck so much staring up at the man. She tossed her coffee cup in the garbage by the bench. Even standing, he was way taller than her. He had to be about six feet four. She was five feet six. He yanked off his sunglasses, and those bold blue eyes of his held hers as he stared down into her eyes, appearing pissed off. “I thought we discussed the whole name thing.”

  He was fuming mad, and she knew why. As he and his brothers tried to flirt with her, touch her at the bar the other night, she used Mike and his friends as a way to throw Caden and his brothers off. She couldn’t believe how attracted she felt, and Mike played along, allowing her to hug him and kiss his neck. He was a gentleman, though, and didn’t caress her ass or anything, just rubbed her back and kissed her neck back and whispered to her asking if she was okay and who was she trying to avoid? Thank God Mike hadn’t pushed for information.

  Caden licked his lips, and she nearly moaned she was so affected by him.

  “Caden, remember?”

  “I’m just being respectful. What’s wrong with you? You seem agitated. Rough morning in Mercy?” she instigated and didn’t know why. She just felt compelled to ruffle his feathers even though it was asking for trouble.

  She hadn’t expected him to wrap his arm around her waist and pull her close either. She gasped. His other hand came up and cupped her cheek, tilting her chin up toward him.

  “You know how to get under my skin like no other. Don’t know what games you’re playing, why you’re denying the attraction, but I don’t expect this nonsense to continue much longer. Myself, Simon, and Aqua aren’t patient men.” She felt his hand slid along her hip and then over her ass, giving it a tap. He pulled back, and her face must have given away her shock as he tipped his hat at her.

  “Have a good day, April, and next time I see you, I expect a warm welcome.” He walked away, his radio going off, and she was numb with emotions she didn’t want to digest. Hot damn was the chief a piece of work. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to engage in a little get-to-know-ya action after all.

  She glanced at her watch as she watched him drive away. She needed to get home to shower and then do some work on the computer for Pierre. Another case, some more intel, and perhaps a trip to New York by the end of the week for business. She set her watch and then took off jogging. She didn’t want to leave this town, not even for weekends or a few days to aid in investigations for the special unit she was a part of. She didn’t want to go back full-time either and be in the field, working undercover or risking her neck on the line unless it was necessary. No, she liked pretending to be normal, when she was anything but normal. A trained killer, a spy of sorts, a woman who would never be able to live a normal life like her friends did, ever again. She couldn’t stand to be bored and sit around either. She was long past recovering from her gunshot wounds, long past the mission gone wrong, and was perfectly fine jumping in to aid when her abilities and expertise was needed. More of a freelance position than steady. If she went back steady, then the higher-ups would think she was back in the game, and she didn’t think she wanted to do that anymore. Mostly because of Mercy and the friends she made here, and also because of Caden, Simon, and Aqua. If she were to entertain this attraction, then she would need to do so with a clean conscience.

  She focused on her jog and not the complications of this town and the men she desired. She just couldn’t let down her guard, and the case wasn’t complete. Not by a long shot and not until Rosen Armique and his group of associates were captured or killed.

  * * * *

  Amelia was shaking, crying, and trying to wipe her eyes.

  “Easy now. It’s going to be okay. You don’t have to push so hard, Amelia. Therapy takes time,” Ice told her.

  She took the tissue he offered and wiped her eyes. “I want to get better faster. For Watson, Dell, and Fogerty. One minute I’m fine, and then I’m not.”

  “You’re trying to rush things. What you went through was emotionally traumatic, and that alone could truly make you feel scared of even the everyday things. Add in what Cavanaugh put you through on a regular basis, and of course it’s worse. But it is normal to not feel safe being alone. Have you spoken to the men about it?”

  She shook her head.

  “Because?”

  She looked at him with tears in her eyes. “I don’t want to be weak. They’re so strong. Their jobs, the things they experienced require them to be tough physically and emotionally. They won’t want a woman so weak and fragile. One that starts to panic when I’m alone even just to shower, or to do laundry. I can’t explain it. When I’m alone I feel vulnerable, and weak. Like I can’t protect myself. Then I get angry for being so weak and I think I’m completely reliant on them, and that isn’t healthy.”

  “I understand what you’re saying, and with time the fears and weakness will get less and less.”

  “No. No, I don’t want to hear about time healing me, Ice. I don’t. I need to do something.”

  He exhaled and licked his lip. “How do you spend your days?”

  She stared at him. She thought about it. One of the guys was always in the house with her, but they were busy working and doing things, so she sat around a lot and thought.

  “You need to get busy doing other things than sitting around and thinking, letting your mind wander over the bad stuff. You have a new life now, Amelia. Cavanaugh is dead. He can’t hurt you ever again. His words, his actions are gone. This is your life, your new start. You have three strong, caring men who love you deeply. They’ll support you and help you in every way they can. You have your friends, too. Make some plans. I’ve heard that the Y offers some great self-defense training and kickboxing courses. What about a physical activity that gets you moving, and also could give you the confidence to feel stronger and more capable instead of feeling dependent to the point of being depressed?”

  “I’ve thought about it. Casey has been going, and she told me yesterday how much fun it is. That the instructors are nice and all, but—” She stopped and thought about it. She hadn’t been going out anywhere without her men.

  “What is it?”

  “I haven’t gone out anywhere really, and when I do I always have Watson, Dell, or Fogerty with me. I think they would tell me that they would teach me things, you know, so I wouldn’t be so fearful.”

  He nodded. “I’m certain they cou
ld, but perhaps part of the therapy of this is doing it on your own. Gaining some control of your life, of the fears of going solo. The danger is over. You need to be your own person.”

  “That’s the thing. I get what you are saying. I can feel myself losing control, and I don’t like it. I know it, and I can’t stop it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean I let them make the decisions. I give in to whatever they want because I don’t want to disagree or have conflict. Even over stupid things like what to have for dinner or what to watch on TV or a drink to have, I don’t know, just stupid stuff.”

  “Getting out of your comfort zone is going to take time, but you need to remember that with Watson, Dell, and Fogerty, it’s different. They’re your support network, your boyfriends who love you and would do anything for you, so there’s no need to feel like you need to appease them. It will cause problems later. Perhaps talking to them about it may help.”

  She smirked. “If I tell them about this, then they will go out of their way to make sure decisions I make are based on my wants and desires and not theirs.”

  “Well then, try to make the decisions you want. Even the littlest things will help when the bigger ones come along.”

  “Okay.”

  “So you’ll think about venturing out, maybe some self-defense?”

  “Maybe. I did hear from April, and she wanted to get together for lunch. She suggested she could come by the house. Do you think I should go out instead?”

  He smiled. “I think the decision is yours, and you need to make it without overthinking.”

  “Hmm, I’m going to have a hard time doing something so simple.”

  “It’s normal though. Remember that anyone who has had such traumatic experiences as you have go through similar things. It’s a process of gaining back control and you can do it. I know you can.”

  She smiled. “Thanks, Ice.” As they ended the session and stood up, she looked into the mirror to make sure her makeup wasn’t a mess. Fogerty was waiting for her, and he would notice and get upset.

  “How is Casey doing? I haven’t seen her at Corporal’s too much.”

  She gave a soft smile. It seemed that Ice often asked about Casey, yet he really didn’t know her. He, like many, just knew her as the woman whose boyfriend shot up the place, shot her, and that Kai disarmed.

  “She has a hard time going to Corporal’s and usually doesn’t stay long. She won’t go down that hallway by the bathroom. It’s tough for her.”

  “I could imagine,” he said, looking concerned.

  “If I go to Corporal’s Friday I’m going to ask her to come along. If you’re not busy, you should come.”

  “I’ll see. My brothers may have some plans already,” he told her.

  “Okay,” she said.

  He opened the door, and there was Fogerty, his expression guarded until he looked her over as if making sure she was in one piece. Then he exhaled as he pulled her into his arms and hugged her.

  “Okay, sweetie?” he asked.

  “Yes, Fogerty,” she whispered, and then he shook Ice’s hand.

  “See you next week,” Ice said, and they headed out.

  * * * *

  Fogerty couldn’t help the uneasy feeling he had every time Amelia went to therapy. He just didn’t want her feeling any more pain or sadness. He hated seeing tears in her eyes, and yet he knew that Ice would help her. He just wished there was more he could do for her.

  Fogerty held her close as they walked.

  “So, lunch out, maybe at Sully’s by the marina?” he asked, and felt her tighten up. She cleared her throat, and he stopped, cupped her cheek, and stared down into her eyes.

  “We don’t have to,” he whispered, trying to read her. He knew she was scared all the time. That she hated being alone. She tried hiding it from them, but when they appeared, they could each see the trepidation on her face and then the tears.

  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and exhaled. She gave a soft smile. “Sure,” she said, her voice cracking. He squinted.

  “Really? I mean if you don’t want to.”

  “No, we should. What about Dell and Watson? Could they meet us?” she asked. He smiled and pressed his lips to hers. He kissed her until she was limp in his arms, and he thought that skipping lunch and taking her home to bed would be so much better. She needed to do this. Something happened in therapy today, he just knew it. He slowly released her lips, and she held on to him, then hugged him tight.

  “I love you so much, Fogerty. I don’t want to be a burden. I want to try to be strong,” she said, and he caressed her hair and her back.

  “You’re the bravest, strongest woman I know, sweetie. I’m here for you always.” When he pulled back, tears were in her eyes, but she was smiling wide.

  “Hmm, you’re so beautiful.” He stroked her cheek.

  She nibbled her bottom lip.

  “We’ll call the others on the way,” he said, and they headed to the truck.

  Amelia heard her cell phone ring and glanced down at it. “It’s April,” she said and answered the phone.

  “Hi, April.”

  “Hey, sweetie, how was therapy?”

  “Good.” She said felt the lump in her throat. April had been so supportive of her. She particularly remembered the night at Corporal’s when Amelia pretended to hate Fogerty and his brothers and want nothing to do with them. April hadn’t asked any questions. She just supported her and even walked her out. It was like she understood what happened. It made her also think about April’s own experiences and wonder more about her.

  “I was wondering if you wanted to meet up for lunch tomorrow?”

  “Uhm, I’m not sure.”

  “If you don’t feel comfortable going out yet, then I can come to you, or you can come over to my house and bring the guys. It’s no problem.”

  “Can I let you know later? I’m actually going to Sully’s with Fogerty and maybe Dell and Watson, too. Fogerty is calling them now.”

  “Really? That’s fantastic.”

  “Well, don’t celebrate anything yet. I’m shaking like a leaf.” She reached out to hold on to Fogerty’s leg, as he was talking to one of the guys while driving. He glanced at her and winked, and she smiled then leaned against him.

  “Okay, you enjoy yourself, and we’ll talk later.”

  “Okay, so we’ll meet you there in fifteen minutes,” Fogerty said into his phone, and Amelia smiled. She could do this, especially with her men around. With them she could do anything.

  Chapter Two

  “What do you have, Vince?” Mike asked, looking over the file he handed him.

  “That situation with Cavanaugh and Turbin really opened up a slew of information. We’ve been checking out some of the people who were in that room dining and doing the sexual acts. Turns out that Turbin had the connections. A slew of those women were forced sex slaves originally from other countries but shipped to Syria and Kuwait of all places. Some of them were willing to be sex slaves in order to receive money for their poor families. It’s sick, but also sent up additional red flags considering that some of the men detained were businessmen involved in imports and exports as well as banking overseas.”

  “We should be very careful how much we dig. Could be that some of these businessmen are the money backers to Turbin’s business or maybe even buyers for the guns deal Cavanaugh was negotiating with Turbin. This case is getting bigger and bigger,” Mike said.

  “More and more complicated, as well. Heard that Colonel Brothers is now involved deeper and really wanting to capture all responsible for getting those Seals killed and the other soldiers along the way that were killed.”

  “I don’t blame him, Vince. I want that, too. I’m going to transfer this stuff to my connection. See what pops up so we can connect the dots.”

  “No problem. We’ll keep digging quietly,” Vince added and then left the room.

  Mike took out the nontraceable phone and called April.
r />   * * * *

  “Mike, this is heavy stuff, and there is definitely a connection to the case Colonel Brothers and our team are working on. You’re going to have to be sure that Vince doesn’t dig too much.”

  “I already explained things to him. Between you and I, I don’t like the whole sex slave business being in the middle of guns and terrorist activities, but I guess it comes with the territory. We need to identify the money backers. They have to meet somehow and negotiate.”

  “Perhaps over some sex dinner party like the one at the hotel. Maybe they talk, make deals, and then engage in sexual fantasy playing. We’ve seen it before.”

  “Oh, yes we have, and I remember one case you were on and had to go in undercover.”

  “Don’t remind me. I wasn’t exactly thrilled to have the .22 between my legs, never mind such a small weapon against such big men.”

  “You did it though. Pulled that right out from under that sexy dress with the lace peeking out by your breasts. The slit in that dress was so high when you turned the swell of your—”

  “Enough, Mike. I was undercover.”

  “You were the fantasy in every man’s dream in the agency,” he added.

  “You’re such an idiot.”

  He laughed. “On a lighter note, I really need you.”

  “What?”

  “I need a date this Friday and only for about three hours,” Mike said to April over the phone. She had been typing away on the computer, finishing up some information to send to Pierre.

  She leaned back and chuckled.

  “Seriously? For what?” she asked him.

  “Dinner party at Carlyl’s. Black tie, cocktail dress, great food, and I have to have a date, or I’ll look like a total loser in front of all those blue suits and Cynthia Longing.”