Romancing the Soul

by Sarah Tranter

  Susie was so not going there. Despite the blip, she’d never felt so wonderful, so blissfully contented, so … whole, in her life. She refused to ruin it with the reminder he’d not yet seen her body properly. She glanced down at what she could see of herself. Jeez, he’d destroyed her dress. She remembered the rip and grinned, but it quickly disappeared as she took in her boobs still hanging out. She blushed and quickly popped them back into her bra. At least that had survived. She knew for a fact her knickers hadn’t. But at least he couldn’t see her bum or her thighs like this. And if lights were off, she’d be fine. Or if they did it against walls …

  She looked back up to meet his eyes. He was still waiting for an answer. ‘We’re not having that conversation with you holding me like this,’ she fenced.

  ‘You forget about me still being inside you.’

  She hadn’t forgotten that. She felt him stirring deep within. She smiled slowly and moved her hips a tad, meeting his warning look with a too innocent one of her own.

  ‘You still haven’t told me what you meant and we can have every conversation like this.’

  ‘Fine,’ she grinned, broadly. ‘Then I’ll do this …’ She rotated her hips and … gulped. That had somewhat backfired. She suppressed the moan and after swallowing hard, managed to gasp out the end of her sentence, ‘… every time you insist on having conversations like this.’

  ‘Fine,’ he replied, turning and walking towards the stairs, Susie still in his arms, wrapped around him, them still connected.

  ‘George put me down. What are you doing? Put me down.’

  If he could keep them together like this … He groaned, incapable of continuing any more thought. Every step was proving agony. Susie’s earlier play had already stirred things to life and the jarring movement was causing significant issues. Evidently he couldn’t get enough of Susie, despite having just experienced the best sex of his life. Not that sex remotely covered it.

  As the latest jolt had its effect, George was forced to question how much further he could go. He could not take her on the stairs. He couldn’t. He was supposed to be taking her to his room and they were going to talk … For God’s sake! He’d just taken her up against a wall and …

  She moaned quietly, aggravating the issue. That sound … Her head dropped to his shoulder and he could feel her quickened breaths against his skin. He took another step up. They both cried out.

  ‘Susie …’

  He moved up another step and she squealed.

  ‘I’m going to have to stop.’ He couldn’t believe he was going to do this. But the choice was letting her go or …? There was no choice whatsoever.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ she groaned. ‘I must be breaking your back here. Put me down.’

  Not a chance. ‘I will put you down, but not because of that. I need you. Again. Now. I’m sorry – not for needing you,’ he said pointedly, to prevent any further misunderstanding, ‘but … Bloody hell! Have you ever done it on the stairs?’

  ‘No. Have you?’

  If he could press the rewind button … But he would always be honest with her. ‘Yes. But not these stairs and nothing is ever going to have been like this.’

  Her head was off his shoulder. ‘Who did you do it with on the stairs?’

  ‘Susie …’

  ‘Was she beautiful? Of course she was. I bet—’

  ‘Susie.’ That was a growl.

  ‘She was thin wasn’t she?’

  Give him strength. He kissed her to both silence her and because his self-control had expired. The last clear thought he had before Susie literally brought him to his knees, was that he was going to have to talk to her about her beautiful body. Perhaps he might do so while kissing and tasting and nibbling every delectable pore of it.

  And his shopping list was growing. Her bra was proving … tiresome.

  Chapter Eighteen

  ‘I can’t believe I found my jumper in your bed,’ Susie giggled, now under a sheet within that bed and snuggled up beyond contentedly, to a ‘jaw-droppingly spectacular in the noddy’ George Silbury. She thought of that coat of his in her own bed and giggled again. She rubbed her feet up and down his long muscular legs, revelling in the sensation of the hairs rubbing against her skin, while running a hand over his unbelievably perfect torso. Being in his arms felt so right.

  Which was wrong. Because this was George Silbury! How on earth had this happened? She’d never been a lucky person, always having to work hard for everything. Life simply couldn’t be this good – or wrong! She was not a glass half-empty person, just a realist. There had to be a catch. And she knew what it would be … bugger off, head!

  ‘As I recall you didn’t provide me with an opportunity to return it.’ His arm, draped over her back, held her to his chest and his fingertips ran gently, but distractingly, up and down her spine. She couldn’t believe her body still had the energy to respond. They’d been at it all night. It was well into the next day.

  She’d been so wrong to go with her head and to have thought the worst of him. So wrong not to have taken heed of what the rest of her was crying out for. While being in hell herself, she’d hurt him. Hurt him badly. He cared! George Silbury cared! For her! Susie Morris!

  ‘For now he cared,’ her head corrected. Well she’d take it. She could not, would not think of what lay ahead.

  ‘I’m so sorry for not returning your calls. It was just all so confusing and—’

  ‘Scary?’

  ‘Yes. But … I really am sorry.’ And she had to change the subject here. She refused to mar this time with George. ‘George …’ She drew slow circles upon his chest. ‘I’ve probably got the wrong end of the stick, but … have you ever run after a coach?’

  His hand on her back stilled. There was a long pause before he groaned. ‘You know, first the jumper … now the coach. Really, my humiliation is pretty much complete. Yes Susie, I ran after your coach.’

  How could he make her feel any more precious? ‘That’s not humiliating. That’s so lovely. Thank you. Thank you so very much.’ She snuggled up closer to him, hugging him rather than herself – because she could.

  ‘And that scary conversation you’ve just tried to avoid,’ he continued. ‘You were right to because it wasn’t the time. If you remember, we have such conversations with me inside you.’

  Susie squealed as in one mind-bogglingly quick move, George had her on her back, pinning her down with his body. Ohhhhhh. Myyyy. Godddd. That felt …

  ‘You can’t possibly be up for—’

  Susie swallowed her words as George moved his hips to ably demonstrate just how prepared he was for such a ‘conversation.’

  He grinned and cocked an eyebrow. ‘You were saying …’ But then he frowned and immediately rolled off.

  Noooo!

  Breathing raggedly as he lay on his back at her side, he said, ‘I’ve no chance of thinking, let alone talking in that position.’

  Susie reached out to touch him, but he grasped her hand to hold it still against his chest and rolled onto his side to look at her. He pulled the sheets up to her chin, tucking her hand in too, after pressing a kiss to her palm.

  ‘A rain check. We’re going to talk.’

  Susie attempted to snuggle up again with the purpose of diverting, although that wasn’t the only purpose.

  George released a sound that could have only been described as a whimper and looked at her pleadingly. ‘Please Susie? This is really important to me.’

  Why did he have to play that card? And that look on his face. How could she deny him? She slowly, tentatively, nodded.

  ‘We work together physically, would you say?’ He let a piece of her hair run between his fingers.

  She grinned. How could she not?

  ‘I’ll take that as a yes, but perhaps you could not grin and distract
me here?’

  Susie giggled as she found a pillow shoved between their lower bodies.

  ‘We’ve established we work together physically, so …’

  Susie was laughing now. ‘I lost count of the number of times you made me—’

  George groaned and another pillow found its way between them. God his eyes …

  ‘Please?’ Those eyes now pleaded. ‘I need to know. Do I still scare you?’

  Susie diverted her look to his chest. ‘Do we really have to talk about this?’

  ‘I know you don’t want to,’ he said, leaning over to give her a stunningly tender kiss. ‘But if we talk about it, then we’ve got a chance of resolving it. I don’t want you scared or worrying about things. I want you happy. Blissfully happy. I don’t want anything getting in the way of me and you.’

  Those words. And his eyes … She’d made the mistake of looking up again.

  ‘I’ll go first if you like?’

  She pursed her lips and nodded.

  ‘Thank you,’ he whispered over her lips, before leaning back and taking a deep breath. ‘I confessed to being scared last night …’

  Susie reached out to stroke his cheek and he turned his face to kiss her hand.

  ‘Are you still scared?’ she asked, not wanting him to ever have to be scared about anything. He kissed each finger before threading his own fingers between hers and cradling her hand upon his chest.

  ‘Of course,’ he sighed. ‘I thank you for being satisfied with my performance so that has eliminated that worry, but—’

  Susie couldn’t help the snort of laughter. ‘You were concerned about your performance?’ That was mad. He was having her on.

  He raised a wry eyebrow before chuckling. ‘Laugh all you like, but anticipating being a disappointment to you was not remotely laughable at the time. It was seriously—’

  ‘You are not serious? You seriously can’t be serious! How could you possibly think you could disappoint me? Look at you, George. Just look at you. You are, yet again, officially the sexiest man in the world this year and you have this knack of just being near me and I get all hot and needy. Even if I don’t know you’re bloody well there! How could you possibly think—?’

  ‘Well how could you possibly think I didn’t want you?’ he countered, very cleverly, she thought. ‘And that’s what you implied last night.’

  She knew he wasn’t stupid, but he didn’t have to prove it. In fact, being stupid now and again might come in highly useful. Actually, why did she ever think his intelligence was attractive?

  ‘I react to you in exactly the same way you just described, Susie, with an addition that’s down to gender.’

  How could he feel it too? It made no sense whatsoever. He was as deranged as she. ‘How could I think anything else, George?’ she asked quietly, gently prodding his chest to help demonstrate the point. She shook her head. ‘You are so far out of my league. You have dated the most beautiful women in the world and rolled around naked with the rest of them in front of the cameras.’

  The thought of him being with those women made her so jealous. Coupled with her own insecurities, she couldn’t keep it from her raised voice. ‘They all parade around on tropical beaches, in non-waterproof bikinis, so they can appear on the pages of Hello! magazine and make people like me feel even more inadequate. How could I possibly think you could be happy with me? Porsche’s description was bang on and you are going to run away screaming when—’

  George growled. He literally growled, and the pillows were gone and he was pulling her onto his chest and hugging her in his arms. ‘I will never, ever forgive Porsche for what she said. She is a—’

  ‘She wants you George, I can see that, but it isn’t just Porsche. I didn’t need her to tell me I’ve not a chance of securing you and—’

  He interrupted her with the foulest string of curses she’d ever heard. Some of them were … wow … and together they were really impressive.

  He shifted their positions so they were both sat and gently lifted her chin. She found herself looking into the stunning depths of his eyes. So earnest. ‘You have secured me, Susie, completely, totally, overwhelmingly. And you are the most beautiful creature to have ever walked this earth. Your body, your hair, your eyes, your mouth, your mind – you! You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you? You’re a natural. You don’t have to contrive it. You just have it, yet you don’t see it. But believe me, others do. I do. You seriously are the most beautiful woman I have ever encountered. I’m surrounded day in day out by women whose beauty is engineered. Who work hard at it – too hard. But that’s not beauty. It’s a mask. What’s before me now is the real thing. You are incredibly beautiful, Susie. And I am being one hundred per cent honest.’

  Oh my God. I love him.

  ‘And shall I tell you what scares me? Scares me stupid?’ And he couldn’t believe he was confessing this, but perhaps it would help reassure her. ‘Losing you. Because having found you, I feel like the luckiest man in the world, the luckiest man to have ever been upon this earth.’ And I’m plagued by that damned fear.

  ‘You aren’t going to lose me, George,’ she said, stroking his face, not remotely understanding how he could possibly feel this way. He looked so vulnerable. ‘I’m going to lose you! And how you’ve managed to get me to tell you my worst fear, I don’t know. But you will come to your senses. You will. And I’m going to be left behind suffering the consequences …’

  ‘Who was he?’ George spoke so quietly she almost didn’t hear him as he shook his head, his eyes closed.

  ‘Who?’

  ‘The one you loved and lost. Cassie said you had had a bad experience in the past and have sworn off love.’ He opened his eyes now and she felt the pain she saw there. ‘Is he why you won’t believe me? Why you don’t accept my assurances?’

  Oh George. She was torn between hugging him and reacting to her anger. She chose the latter and extricated herself. She flopped down onto her back and crossed her arms over her chest.

  How dare Rachael blab to Cassie! And with the reference to that night … those damned feelings were at full force. She closed her eyes as they engulfed her and – they were gone. George had reached out to touch her face. He’d zapped them. The relief … but then, of course, she knew why he had that power. So it was hardly reassuring.

  ‘Talk to me,’ he gently urged, now lying at her side, facing her. ‘I promise I’ll tell you anything you ask of me and I will never lie to you. I vow that now.’

  With a bent arm across her forehead, she revealed bitterly, ‘There wasn’t anyone. It was just a terrible experience at the hands of Rachael.’

  He remained quiet, but sneaked close enough to pull her into his arms again. He was too good to be true. But was clearly expecting her to continue.

  ‘It was a decade ago,’ she confessed quietly. ‘We all had too much to drink, too much dope and Rachael attempted one of her “past life regression” things.’ Her disgust at the very concept was clear. ‘It wasn’t real, but my brain freaked out and gave me a taste of … some not very nice sensations. It didn’t feel at all good and those feelings … loss, desolation, betrayal …’ She attempted to say them flippantly. ‘Well, they regularly come back to haunt me.’ She was so not telling him about the eyes! ‘So I’ve avoided situations where I might become exposed and at risk of feeling that way. Unfortunately, you’re now on the scene …’

  He made a spluttering sound.

  ‘Fortunately you’re on the scene,’ she corrected, shifting to stroke his chest reassuringly. ‘But unfortunately I am now completely exposed. And I am George, completely exposed with you and no doubt going to suffer all that stuff for—’

  He’d raised her chin so she could meet his eyes. ‘I will never leave you and I will never betray you.’

  ‘You can’t say that.’

&n
bsp; ‘I just did and I have never meant anything more.’

  ‘You can’t! And you haven’t seen me with the lights on!’

  ‘What on earth are you talking about?’

  ‘I don’t look like those women George and when you see me with the lights on, you are going to take one look and—’

  ‘You haven’t taken on board a thing I’ve said, have you? I don’t want you looking like those women. Not one of them is a patch on you. Susie? Sweetheart, how can you possibly feel this? You don’t think I’ve seen you as we’ve made love? Seen you and worshipped you and loved you? I don’t know what else to say to reassure you. Actually, you know what? I will put myself through torture. I will force myself to make love slowly to every part of your body …’ He shut his eyes for a moment before taking a ragged breath. ‘It will be torture because clearly your body doesn’t do a thing for me. But I’ll go through the torture, if I must.’

  How could he make a joke about this? She raised herself up to punch him on the arm a bit too hard to be playful.

  He grinned. ‘Can’t you see how ridiculous you’re being? And incidentally, it will be torture because I started off with this very intention several times last night, but lacked the staying power to get past the early hurdles! But if it must be done, my torture will begin the second we’ve finished talking and I’ve minimised the chance of you leaving me.’

  ‘I will never leave you!’ Susie cried, never ever meaning anything more. Although she continued on a mutter, ‘Unless you carry on taking the piss out of my legitimate concerns.’

  ‘I’m not taking the piss,’ he said gently. ‘You are just so far off the mark with how I see you. And the way you see yourself, too. You are gorgeous, Susie, totally and utterly gorgeous. My words aren’t helping, so perhaps a bit of action will. See what I’m prepared to do for you? The selfless sacrifices I’m prepared to make?’

  She punched him again, repeatedly, and laughing, he grabbed hold of her wrists. Pulling her back down by them, he said, his mouth just beneath her lips, ‘You are gorgeous, Susie. Now say that thing about never leaving again and add the bit about betrayal.’